Initiative

Ron and I got home from the taqueria around 10 AM.  "If I could" I told Ron "I'd just go to bed and wake up tomorrow before work". 

Not fatigue, necessarily, but the depression. 

Anyway, when I was NOT depressed a few days ago I had a thought: making myself depression care packages. 

Each box would have various treats, nicely scented soap, perhaps.  A candle or two.  A good book. 

I might make a box of index cards with assignments: foot rub. 20 minutes reading poetry. 

When I'm manic, I could write down encouraging Bible verses on index cards, and put them in a box.  Then read them whe I'm depressed. 

The question for me: will I really do it, though? 

What I mean: I can make preparations to do nice things for myself; but will I have the initiative to enjoy them?