Lord of the Thermostat

I am happy God can use me to do His work. He has given me a good life.

Last night was very difficult, but not as bad as it could have been. Allow me to explain.

Ron had turned off the air conditioner entirely, for some reason. The house is fairly well insulated, but when it's above 90 it always gets stuffy in the house around 6-7 PM. Ron has told me, almost every warm day of the year "Feel free to turn on the system if you get hot". "Don't cook yourself, turn it on!"

[shrug] Remember that. I don''t mind a little warmth. When Ron was in Austin for a training program, and I weighed about 40 pounds more than I do now, I kept the thermostat at a nice cozy 80. So, my ideal is 80.

But I was sweating, in the house, right after I had taken a cool shower. I thought "That's odd". I went and looked at the thermostat. Almost 90. Ron's completely out, asleep in bed.

Well, I decide, time to turn it on. He always says he doesn't want me miserable. I am wearing an oversized t-shirt and nothing else. I set the thermostat for 80-82 and turn on the system. Ron woke up about 10 minutes later. He wanted to talk so we did for a few minutes; I told him about my day. I told him, it had gotten very hot in the house so I HAD turned on the system.

He immediately begins to freak out and start shouting at me. I'm "Going to bankrupt him with high electric bills" - because I turned it on ONCE in 6 years. "Why didn't" I take some clothes off... I said I was only wearing a very large tshirt and nothing else. The ranting lasted almost an hour. He alternated between comments like "You are too stupid to operate a thermostat" lots of how expensive I was, how I didn't contribute to the household (except by ensuring he can work and pay the bills, and the $500 a month I contribute to expenses - which he always "forgets" when he's angry). It was just a big, freaking head game.

I hate head games "Make yourself comfortable!" "Don't touch the thermostat!" I am a VERY accomodating person. I "can't" even shut the bedroom door because, and I'm not kidding he says it has the "good vent" and the whole house will get hot if the door isn't open. I don't even get a clear doorway in the summer, no, he sticks a massive fan in the doorway that I have to step over just to get in and out. I allow THAT.

I don't care if he wants to play "Lord of the Thermostat" and "Since I pay all the bills, I make the choices". The way I see it, it doesn't cost ME anything and maybe he "needs" it.

I kept telling him, the system had been running for 10 minutes when he woke up. Just a lot of ongoing stupidity for the next hour, involving his talking thermometer, a stopwatch, and lots of cursing me out. Finally, it was over.

I bagged up more Driver Candy during the worst of the ranting and got that all prepped for today. I told him at 9 I was going to bed.

At 10, I heard loud banging noises coming from his room. I wanted to yell at him, or at least say "Shut your door".

He has always said "If I'm bothering you, Heather, and my door is open, please shut it. I don't want to disturb you." It was obvious, earlier, plenty of alcohol on board. Maybe he simply didn't know.

So, I took HIS ADVICE and shut the door, quietly. The screaming, ranting, and cursing on THAT one lasted over half an hour.

I must be doing good work for God to merit these kind of attacks. I have minimal sleep; he wants to go to work, and then we were supposed to go out to lunch. He will probably "punish" me by cancelling the trip. I hope he does. I hate playing happy family when he's been up half the night verbally abusing me.

Oh, and God let me know in a dream, that it IS abuse, whether it is a word or a punch, but He needs me where I am right now. "Endure hardship as a good soldier of Christ Jesus".