About my day, and the comments

Yesterday was pretty boring, a quiet day at home.

I got up this morning at 4 AM.  I didn't do my God Time (then) but I did get my shower.  I used the "good" shampoo.  When I have a pending Bible Handout I care more about my appearance.  I want to be fresh, scrubbed, and wholesome, not a drug addicted beggar trying to live off other people's wages.   I even use an "extra" whitening toothpaste, the good shampoo (so I have silky waves coming out of my ponytail - at least that's the idea).  Appearance, on a handout, is crucial.

I don't care as much the rest of the time.  My hair's frizzy, so what?  But not around a Handout.

We went to work.  Things were slow.  We had another coin jam in the bottled vendor.  I am starting to wonder if we're experiencing direct sabotage.  But maybe I'm just paranoid.  It just seems odd, two coin jams in one week, when normally we only get one every couple of years.

I was delighted to see Mike, the other vendor's employee, at work.  He had been out sick for months after an accident: he fell over his cat, down a flight of stairs.  He broke both wrists on landing and had to have surgery and rehab.  But he's back now.  I gave him a hug.

It was really good to see him.  I missed him.

Work was pretty slow but I did what I could.  Half the coils in my snack machine didn't even need stocking.

I helped Ron do the bottled vendor, we almost ran out of time but we got it all done.

We came home.  I ate a handful of pretzels and dosed two of the cats with their flea medicine.  Biscuit and Baby Girl are very good about being dosed.  Torbie, not so much.  She always carries on like I'm raping her, and then she gives me the silent treatment for a while afterward.  I got Torbie later.

I took a nap.  Torbie joined me, little knowing what I had planned for later.  I woke up with a nasty headache.  It was either the pretzels or the flea medicine.  Sometimes I get a headache after applying it to the cats, even when I wash my hands.

I took some Excedrin and we went to Denny's.  I had a mostly-low carb meal (I did eat half an order of pancakes).  The "Hearty Breakfast sausage" was large and very good.  It would be a good keto meal with the ham, sausage, more ham, and bacon or something.  It's a trick balancing the protein and the fat.

At any rate I had a good meal.  Ron just had soup and salad.  He only ever eats vegetables at Denny's.  He said he is thinking about taking the vitamins I got him.  That would be great, if he does it.

The paratransit system went down, all the rides went to hell, so Ron called a cab home.  We had a nice ride.  The driver actually put up the wheelchair.  Sometimes they just stand there and watch me do it.

We got home, Ron wanted to listen to some music.  Then I had him clean out "his" sink, which was full of empty vodka bottles and 20 ounce diet soda bottles. He did that, I gave him the garbage bag.

Then I did my God Time.

We will be working tomorrow and then hopefully I will do a Bible Handout.  It's supposed to rain tonight but nothing so far.  I hope it doesn't rain tomorrow.

I also need to vote in the primaries, but I need to see who are the good guys.  I may just wait on voting in the primary, after all I am a registered Independent.  Of course I am a conservative, I am a Christian.  I am pro-life, pro second amendment (just because guns are not for me doesn't mean other people can't have them, and 99.9% are responsible gun owners), etc.  You get the idea.

I caught Torbie in a relaxed moment and quickly gave her the flea treatment.  She wasn't happy with me and ran away, then she wouldn't let me pet her until I gave her some treats.  But she's dosed now and good for a month.

Ron gives a processed, catnip treat.  I give freeze dried salmon treats.  Biscuit won't touch them but the girls like "my" treats.  I am working on specifically building my relationship with Baby Girl.  She is "Ron's" cat.  I am sure she is affected by his drinking, but she's a good girl, good behavior, uses her box even when it's bad.  I am better about doing the litter box now.

So I like to give Baby Girl some petting and a treat now and then, just to let her know I love her, too.  She hasn't gotten any more knots in her fur since I trimmed out the last ones.  I am really happy about that.  He fur is soft and pretty, she's a good girl.  Just not super cuddly - BUT she always meets us at the door when we come home.  Torbie very seldom does that.

Torbie will forgive me completely tomorrow.  I noticed Baby Girl itching today so I got the drops.  I had meant to give them on the first of the month.  I find it easier to do all the monthly stuff on the first, but it doesn't always work out.  But I made a note on my computer to dose them April 5.

It's been really nice, warm, weather, highs in the 70's, lows in the 50's.  Not too hot or cold.  Perfect weather really.  It won't last.

It's also good weather for people to leave their car windows open, which makes a Bible Handout easier.  I can talk to the recipients and answer questions, or just simply offer a Bible to them.  Many of them don't ask, but they'll take it if I extend it.  I like to get my work in while I can.

I was a little worried, because I was around some sick people at work, but so far I have remained healthy.  One woman at work, working around us, has a horrible, deep, wet, cough.  I am really worried about catching whatever that is.   [shudder]  But maybe she's a smoker.  She isn't normally sickly, either.

About comments: I try to present the whole gamut of comments unless they are truly abusive or inappropriate "You're an idiot for staying with Ron" is an opinion, and a valid one.  "You're a (*&! [censored]  [edit] &^%$ing bitch" being another, and I have gotten a few like that that I didn't post.  One used some harsh language regarding my mother in law.  While she didn't treat or son or I properly, I have to show her respect, even if she doesn't "seem" to deserve it.  Some people think my faith in God is probably a symptom of my mental illness; and to others, it's the only logical path.  I try to present both sides.

It would be easy to just present the "Heather, you're so brave!"  comments but I think it would be unbalanced.  So, if you see something you don't like in the comments just remember I am trying to be balanced.

I worry about ego.  I worry about ego with the Bible Handouts: that is a big concern of mine, and one reason I have never tracked the total amount of Bibles distributed.  If I knew the total I imagine I would become insufferable.  I know it is over a thousand and that's good enough for me.  The big thing I need to work on doing is to pray for past, present, future recipients.  That's the important work.  Going out on the corner is nothing.  Prayer is everything.  

Same with the comments, it's great when someone says something nice, but I need to be objective.  I'm a codependent for a lot of reasons.  Some of them I can't disclose (I will when I am able).  But I am.  Ron's an alcoholic.  Oftentimes, he doesn't treat me right.  And that's a bad thing for him to do.  So I try to post the gamut of comments.

You all have generally been more fair than those I have encountered in real life.  I will never forget one church member attacking me because I posted honestly about Ron's blackout.  He was very upset I "undressed" him.  My thought has always been: if Ron doesn't want me to post about it he had better not do it.  He's in control of that, not me.  If he acts like a turd it will be posted and he knows that.  I think it helps keep him in line.

If it's "our little secret" things get toxic real quick and I probably end up trying to kill myself.  I need an outlet.  You understand that: sometimes the "real life" people don't.  Which is often why I don't discuss the blog in person with people.  I bare my soul, that's a pretty big deal, I am sick of being judged, and I protect myself when necessary.

This has been long, but, I feel, important.  That's it for now.  Have a good one.

I am praying for you all (even the atheists!).