Sunday, June 13, 2010

It would be very easy to get self-righteous and egotistical over the work I do. Look at me! I'm so important, look at all the stuff I hand out to further God's Kingdom. Important note; God's kingdom. I'm just an unprofitable servant, I'm only doing my duty (Luke 17:10 "So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' ")

So, I ask God to keep me humble. I BEG Him to do so. God is merciful, but sometimes the mercy can be pretty severe.

Yesterday I woke up with a dreadful migraine. It had me curled up in a ball, when I wasn't retching into my bucket, for over a day. It's only now that I can move my head without pain. I lost pretty much the whole weekend. That's a bummer! I just got paid, too.

I always think there are deeper forces at work, though. I always think; If I had gone out and done something, perhaps I would have run into trouble; but because I was laid up in bed, I didn't. Maybe a sick person on the bus. Maybe another creep mugger.

I also thought, as I tossed to and fro, how God uses my infirmities to keep me humble. I'm doing God's will, not my own. I need to remember I can't run out ahead of Him, or I'm liable to be hit by a car. This just happened to be His way of pulling me back to safety.

[sigh] I hate losing days to illness, I hate the weakness and pain. But God is using it for good, I just have to be patient.

I spend all weekend resting, OK. If that's what God wants, that's what I'll do.

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