Rumor Mill

I found it interesting that the other blind vendor was telling his brother the story of how I got "thrown off the bus". Huh? The driver refused to take us because Ron called him a [beep]; I was the one who offered him a soda, and said "Fine, you want me in the back, I'll sit in the back, whatever." Huh. We were in the right, he was ORDERED to come back and get us.

I wonder how much of it has to do with the whole Bipolar "reputation". Does Heather go around, starting fights? No. But to hear some talk, I'm just one confrontation after another. AGH. Fortunately I was well-medicated, and far too queasy to object.

Let's talk about the queasy briefly. The only word I find worse than "Hater" is "Whiner". I don't want to be either. [loud prolonged groan] So tired of the nausea! QUEASY! This morning was particularly bad - I actually had to slice and chew ginger root along with my breakfast to choke it down. For those who don't know; it's directly related to my medication. Two of them are NOTORIOUS. But they work.

As I told Ron, I'd rather be pukey than crazy. Enough of that.

I had a very interesting experience just now when I opened my email. The Blood Center wants to use me and my story. For their 2011 campaign. Some people are in ads on TV - others on billboards (!!), posters, and calendars.

When they asked why I donate, I basically said "To give people more time with their loved ones". 5 minutes after I emailed saying I could do it, she called me to set up an appointment.

Two blouses! Makeup artist! EEEK! [joking here] I'll just purge here for a few weeks until the Day. [shrug] Yeah, I had an eating disorder (anorexic) as a teen. I looked like it, too. I never had a figure until I allowed myself to get above 145 pounds. I have bulimic tendencies now; I basically gave up a formal exercise program because I had issues with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Exercise_bulimia I have a difficult relationship with food at times, even before the nausea.

In order to eat properly, you have to love yourself. And what happens when the only time you feel loved, and attended to, was when the object of your affection took you out for ice cream and fast-food? When it was used as a reward or consolation?

Kind of a chicken and egg thing - what came first. Am I just hardwired for eating troubles? Or was it environmental? I think 80% hardwired.

Onto work, Ron and I had alarmingly good trips today. They were so good, it was scary. Went to work, got it all done. Then off to Walmart, because Ron was out of cat treats and Master wasn't pleased!

We got the treats and I ended up spending $28. Ouch. Girl stuff and some organization stuff. Ouch.

Then off to Starbucks. I told Ron I didn't want to go home and then leave again. Got our usuals, came home.

Ahhh, what a nice pink bed! It's currently made up in shades of rose. So inviting. Off to sleep for a bit.

I had some very vivid, odd, dreams. Woke up and here I am. :)