Friday

I'm feeling a little scrambled so this may come out that way. I hope it's coherent.

I got up when I felt like it, did my shower and God time. Ron and I had talked a little when I first got up.

He tends to sleep afternoon-evening, and stay up late night to early morning. He is in his best mood in the early morning so I enjoy getting up a little early to talk. We had a decent chat.

I took my shower, did my God Time. I told him I was getting ready to leave. His mood had changed abruptly and he wanted me to read a long, depressing "why" letter. Why? Why? I don't know.

I told him I didn't know what he wanted me to say, could he please let me know what he wanted? He got upset. [scratching my head] I don't see how I could have done it any differently. I told him I WOULD miss a bus if I didn't go, and left.

[Bubba just came in and growled at the window. It is raining. Now off to Daddy for treats.]

I got some fast food, and the cashier told everyone in the restaurant how much weight I had lost. [laugh] I was feeling kind of chubby so that did me a lot of good. I ate my bunless burgers, took my medicine, and off to Foodtown.

I was cheap. I can get 2, 20 ounce sodas for about $2.50-$3 at the gas station. Or, I could get a SIX PACK of Diet Dr Pepper bottles, at Foodtown, for $2.50, AND get a quart of Powerade Zero for less than a dollar! I did that. I also got a frozen bottle of water they had.

I drank the Powerade first, I didn't want to get sick like I did the other day. [Intermission, I cleaned off the clay mask and got some "dinner"]. I had a pretty good time.

I found it kind of creepy at the bus stop. I don't know if they do it where you live, but here it is common to put up a little roadside shrine where someone has died. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roadside_memorial

Anyway, this one had a large laminated photo on top. The "victim" bore a remarkable resemblence to my mugger, so much so I actually checked the death date. No, he died BEFORE my mugging, but I wonder if he had a little brother!

So I sat there, with "Thug Boy" STARING at me. It was very disturbing. I am phobic and superstitious enough that I didn't cover it or anything, but it really creeped me out. I tried to call Ron, but he had his cell phone turned off all day. [rolleyes] Great. I sat there wondering how he died. Was he drunk? Speeding? About the time he died, we had a lot of rain. Maybe he was drunk, driving too fast, and skidded. [note I am beginning to get morbid here, later on I realized I am beginning to cycle depressed]

I tried to focus on other things, and decided that I should use it as motivation on the Bible handouts. I handed out a lot today, happily.

I had quite the list:
Go to Foodtown and get soda and drinks
Go to thrift store and look for church type dresses - I have some very casual, and very formal things and that's it.
Go to Favorite Dollar and get some sugarfree candy and baggies.
Go to Christian bookstore and look for bargains
Go to import store and get some new incense
Go to sporting goods store and shop cute tops for photo shoot
Go to Lady Footlocker and get t-shirts. They have some new colors I like, but they had the wrong sizes the last time I went to the other mall.
Go to the bank and shut debit card off; due to losing it (estatements are OK - so it must be here). I had been asking God if he wanted me to support a certain mission and I guess this is His way of saying "NO". Once I turn off the card... but the other, good, guys will be called and reset up.

That's a lot to do on the bus. I went to the thrift store, and found some utterly awful dresses. I kept looking and found a cute denim shirtdress. It is nicely tailored for me. I looked at some cute dresses with small prints, and realized, in the fitting room, that small prints really DO make me look fat. I got stuck halfway into a pretty blue dress, it was a 14 but apparently their 14 has a very flat chest. I almost had to get help. Poor Heather in her underwear, head and arms stuck in the dress! Pretty funny!

Thank God I escaped. I realized that while a couple of the dresses were cute, and one was on sale, they were not ME. The denim shirtdress met my requirements, short sleeved, longer, full skirt, tailored, and cute. It would be very cute with a belt.

I only have a few casual belts I picked up when completely manic last year. I hardly ever wore them. They are brightly colored with a row of grommets from one end to the other. I called my aunt, and asked her Fashion Police opinion.

"We" decided that a plain leather belt, in a cute color, would be better. I got a kelly green, and a black. I can wear the black with my other dress. When I got home, I discovered I had a red one, too. I think I will put the grommet ones in the donate bag.

So, I can wear a black, red, or green belt with the dress for now. I can always pick up a few more. I don't see the need to invest a lot of money into impressing other people when even the pastor says they are casual ("I'm the only one in a suit."). Since the dress is denim blue, I plan to have Ron wear his black slacks and the navy short sleeved oxford. We'll be cute. I also got a stretchy freshwater pearl bracelet for a dollar. Blue. Pretty.

I got all that packed up, handed out a few Bibles, and went off. The Dollar store was very busy, I decided to go back later. I went to the import store. I got some Mogra, Jasmine, 2 kinds of Rose, and Phool. What the heck IS Phool? Some kind of white flower, like Mogra and Jasmine. I like it a lot.

My all time favorite fragrance: roses. LOVE roses. I also love Jean Nate.

I checked out the Christian bookstore, didn't see anything, and left.

I doubled back to Favorite Dollar. I got some baggies, candy, duct tape (needed it for the lawnmower), and completely forgot I needed more lighters for the incense.

I realized depression was starting to kick me around. I always carry extra medication. I went to Starbucks and got my heavy whipping cream thing (sugarfree heavy whipping cream steamer). I took a lithium tablet and half a Wellbutrin; a good call.

I decided to go home. I just felt completely overwhelemed (still do, somewhat) at the thought of going anywhere. I did run by the grocery store on the way and got Ron some pineapple and jalapeno vienna sausages. Shopping when depressed: sucks!

I got home fine. I found it funny, at one point in my journey I was waiting at a bus stop. Two young black men passed me as they walked; and I gave them each a Bible! If the bus had been on time that couldn't have happened. [grin] God can ALWAYS use me, depressed or not!

I am really happy I got the TWO gallon ziplocks today. I fit an astounding amount of hard candy into them. I have a nice homemade mix. The last time I went to Sam's they were out of the hard candy assortment! I purchased some peppermints, spearmints, cinnamon, butterscotch, (got at Walmart) filled strawberry, and fruit assortment (today). That's a decent mix. Something for everyone.

I found half a cinnamon candy as I repackaged it, and took a lick off it before I threw it away. Yummy.

I passed the allergy test on the brown henna powder I got at the import store, so I went ahead and mixed it up. The directions say to pour the boiling water over the powder, mix, and let sit for a few hours, then apply to hair.

We have a heavy duty electric lawnmower. It has a very long, heavy duty extension cord. Ron ran over it a few times and spliced it. Well, the last time I used it it felt kind of WARM and I noticed some bare wire. That's not good. I used the duct tape to fix it, mowed the backyard, and checked the mail.

Letter from the Homeowner's Association. One of the things I love about my house is our big beautiful tree. Well, they want us to limb it up to 9 feet in the air. Probably some tall guy walking by hit his head and complained. UGH. Fortunately my uncle is an amateur arborist.

I took a shower and decided to do my hair. I applied the brown henna glop. I had some excitement, the applicator bottle clogged and I ended up with a huge, oozing, splat of henna on top of my head. I combed it in quickly. Now I'm sitting here with the glop on my head, under a shower cap. I put aloe gel around my hairline so the henna won't stain. Every now and then a trickle leaks out.

I'm feeling kind of stressed: I have to do a couple loads of laundry, put away the clean clothes I already washed, clean up around my bedside table, look for my wallet, clean up the other table, do my God Time, put the leftovers in the fridge, do dishes, etc. AGH.

I'm glad I at least did the henna thing, and the facial mask, and lit the incense. I just feel very harried and overwhelmed right now - that's a part of the depression.