Sunday Brunch

I got up at 7, got ready for church.  For once, Ron got up early and was actually rushing me.  Normally he waits until the driver is honking outside before we leave.  We got ready, Pete came and got us. 

We went to church, ran into the pastor.  When he asked Ron how he was doing Ron said he was disappointed no one from the church would come get us (paratransit does not go out there).  The pastor was a bit taken aback.  I chided Ron about that, later.  I thought that was a bit rude but Ron said, it's true, no one will help. 

I have to say he is right.  When I was a teenager, we used to pick up a blind lady and take her to church every week.  Two teenagers, my parents, and the woman, in a 5 seater car.  I remember we were late sometimes but we always picked her up.  If we could do it, I don't see why a family with an SUV couldn't get us. 

But I guess everyone is "too busy".  Or, as Ron said once, people tend to be afraid of disabilities, thinking they will need "more" than the other person can give.  Not true. 

And I'm not bitter about this, just sad.   Ron does have a point. 

We did the service.  Pete sat in front of us.  I always get a little weepy during the songs.  I didn't used to be like that, I think it's the Wellbutrin.  It's extremely embarrassing, but the church is pretty open in expression. 

I grew up in a very conservative Protestant denomination.  We stood, and sat.  We sang old hymns.  No one said anything when the pastor spoke.  It was very traditional. 

These guys are a little different.  Instead of an organ, they use electric guitars, drums, and keyboards.  I think the arms in the air thing freaks me out the most.  I'm just not accustomed to that.  God is happy with all forms of worship, I'm just not used to that. 

It was a good sermon.  We covered a couple of chapters.  Then the service was over.  Ron had moved to a regular seat because it was softer than his wheelchair.  He had a little trouble when it was time to go back, and a big burly guy helped him.  I thanked him in Yoruba, I took a guess, and he smiled at me.  He did speak it, as I'd guessed. 

Pete went off chatting to people.  We spoke to a few people, who approached us.  Ron has the persistent belief that people are scared to approach him.  Not today. 

Then we went out to lunch.  We went to the Waffle House.  It was pretty packed but not bad.  Pete, Ron, and I all managed to wedge into a 2 seat area.  We're good friends so it worked. 

Pete drove a Camry, I think, so Ron had a pretty easy time getting in and out.  I stuck the wheelchair in the back seat with Ron because the trunk was full of luggage.  We made it work.  I got pretty good at getting the chair in and out (Pete has a bad back). 

We had a good meal and Pete dropped us at work, hugged us, and left.  We went into work. 

The bottled vendor was empty, and we had now-cold drinks in the fridge.  So I got the drinks, and Ron stocked them while I sat in a chair and drank a couple caffeine free Diet Dr Peppers.  I didn't feel at all guilty about it.  Ron was so happy while he was working.  It's good for him. 

Not to mention, it's something he CAN do.  He can't do much but he can do that, and I'm not going to take it away.  I have enough on my plate as it is. 

We finished in about an hour and left.  It had rained while we were working but was OK now.  Or so I thought. 

We went outside and Ron called the guy with the Kia.  He has more trouble getting into that vehicle but the guy with the sedan couldn't help.  The guy with the Kia can almost always help, and comes to bad neighborhoods to get us.  25 minutes, he said. 

The sky became darker, and the wind picked up.  It was a cold wind and held the promise of a downpour.  I noticed they were diverting planes from the airport, normally they fly right over the plant but now they were veering off to the west.  I turned and looked, and saw a huge black storm cell above us.  It was a close wait, but our guy beat the storm cloud. 

As we headed off down the road, it began pouring, but Ron, the driver, and I were all dry.  We went home.  We only had a light drizzle so we used the garage door opener.  We don't use it during heavy thunderstorms after the drama a few years back when the power failed and it got "stuck" in the open position.  Ron had me use the emergency release but then I couldn't get it back for a while, and we couldn't use the door.  It was crazy.  A couple of you (readers) helped me get that resolved, but we don't want that again.  I'm still not really sure how I got it reconnected and I don't want to fight with it again. 

We now have a policy not to use the remote if there is a heavy thunderstorm with lightning, in the vicinity.  But it didn't matter today. 

It was now 3.  I had taken all my pills at brunch, so I was good for the day.  I took a nap, but had a headache from all the carbs and aspartame I had been consuming. 

Why do I always eat so badly when someone comes to visit?  I'm "celebrating"!  I rested for a couple hours (couldn't really sleep with the headache and caffeine) and got up, took some Excedrin. 

I was going to do some rearranging but I'm tired and my headache will come back.  I will do that Tuesday, maybe.  I want to put a kitty condo in the front window. 

We started out making some money when Ron started the business, but when the economy crashed everyone started bringing their own lunch and ignoring us.  Then they did the remodel and literally stuck our vending machines in the farthest and most remote corner of the building.  Things finally got better after the remodel.  One of the first things we did when we had a little money: we bought a kitty condo, and then another.  Ron wanted to buy me something nice, so I asked for a new toilet (the old one was always backing up). 

Ron always feels like he has to buy me something nice for my birthday.  I try to keep my requests simple.  I don't want jewelry, clothes, shoes, or purses.  I'm already getting tea (I sent my adoptive Mom a wish list, and the package is here, but I don't know what she got me until my birthday).  I have 3 great cats. 

At least this year he "could" afford to get me something.  I need to pick out something modest that I will use.  Or a dinner.  Maybe take me to a steakhouse and make that my present.  And I'll get a big steak.  I don't need much. 

I could use a little radio with a speaker, and I could use a noisemaker - the kind you play when you're sleeping, to drown out background noise.  That's about it. 

We have a pretty good stack of hospital/medical bills we need to pay, so I won't be greedy (except for a steak).  Plus we have flood insurance ($1400) and property tax coming due in a couple of months. 

Honestly speaking, I can pretty much get anything I want on what Ron pays me.  It is not much by most standards but I've got the mortgage, transportation, and utilities covered.  I just have to pay my health insurance. 

If I had the room, I would love to get a treadmill, but a couple of things.  They take up a lot of room.  Won't fit in the house unless I take out the rack of Bibles (not happening) or my seating (not happening, for one, Ron uses the back of the couch to pull himself along - and has specifically asked I never change that arrangement).  So, not in the front room.  Computer room is too small for computer desk and treadmill, and I wouldn't be able to open the couch if someone stayed the night.  Bedrooms are too small for a treadmill. 

I am NOT complaining about the size of my house - just explaining.  I love my house.  So, it would have to go in the garage.  Right now it is occupied by a lot of Ron's stuff and some of mine, plus my weight equipment. 

Ron has given me permission to get rid of his stuff, BUT the garage is lower than the house and might flood.  The garage has almost flooded at least 2 times in the last 3 years.  That's, to me, unacceptable odds.  A barbell doesn't care if it gets wet.  I can dry it off and a little rust will just add character. 

So, for now, no treadmill, and I am OK with that.  My house is already crowded.  That's one thing I never liked about Ron's parents house, it was crowded with too much furniture and too many things, it was very "tight" in there.  Ron turned around one day and bumped a glass figurine, breaking it.  And his mom got mad at him!  She had him longer than I did and I know better than to leave glass things around where he will "get" them.  But maybe she forgot after he moved out, or the dementia was coming even then. 

I don't worry too much about genetic dementia for Ron.  Yes, both his parents had it, but they had lead pipes in the house - went for decades drinking that water before they learned it was "bad".  Then, Ron's Dad was a gardener who used a LOT of pesticides.  They affect the brain if used improperly, and Dad never read labels.  I think those two things led to the mutual dementia. 

And, to be honest, when Ron was not drinking, when he had the head injury dementia, he was generally very sweet.  I could live with that again if I could get some night help.  But I've decided not to worry, he seems the same as ever when he's sober. 

I have explained my fears to him that the drunk behavior/dementia-like behavior will spill over into his sober life and affect our lives together, and he heard it.  He didn't believe it, but he heard me and said he was sorry for scaring me. 

That's all I can ask. 

Anyway, I'm going to go.  I have to get up early tomorrow.