If I were "overly emotional" how could I tell? I mean, really. I'm crazy. While Doc says I'm "very stable" I don't kid myself about my control - it's only attained through a battery of toxic drugs and a very "boring" lifestyle.
Which brings up a side point. Why do people get so upset at me when I refer to myself as "crazy"? I am.
Definition: Crazy
adjective, cra·zi·er, cra·zi·est.
zi
mentally deranged; demented; insane.
Let's look up "insane":
adjective
adjective: insane:
in a state of mind that prevents normal perception, behavior, or social interaction; seriously mentally ill.
How is that not me? It completely describes my illness and how it affects my activities of "daily living".
Anyway, some people get very outraged on my behalf, tell me I'm not crazy - HA! If only they knew. They think I am being "mean", and beating myself up. I'm not, it's an adjective and I use it in context.
So, anyway. I know I'm in premenopause based on a few symptoms. Has it really affected me? No. I have some hot flashes, etc. Hormonal migraines, which, to be honest, I always disparaged "I'm on my per-i-od! Time for a headache!" Ha. Joke's on me, now. Those mothers are nasty.
I always worried about the "emotional" aspect; because the last thing I need is more emotion. I have enough emotion for several people.
How would I know, anyway?
Well, I cry a lot. At the stupidest things. Commercials. Movies. Out come the waterworks. It's embarrassing. I feel "fine" other than needing to cry so I have to figure it's a menopause thing. It's unrelated to my cycle - I'm just a little weepy, all the time.
My life is pretty good, God knows a lot better than it was years ago: good symptom control, Ron's good to me, I'm healthy, good spiritual life, cats are healthy, the house is in good shape, I could go on for a while. It's not my life.
Oh, yeah, and the money is OK. Maybe it will get better. We'll see. No major dramas.
I'm not crying over that.
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