My lithium level blood test is due any day. I am eager to see if I got into the magic range of .5 to 1.1. I calibrated my phone to notify me of email updates on the hour.
After reading one, I scoffed and made a rude comment. I was standing next to Ron at the time.
"What?"
"Oh, I got a comment from a Rabble Rouser".
"A what?"
"I didn't tell you? They're a gang of internet bullies who've been following me around for four years."
"Well" Ron responded "Don't they have lives? They've got nothing better to do?"
That, my friends, says it all.
That and the fact that I can't abide bullies. I was bullied a lot as a child, as a teen, because I was "different". Wow, they teased a cripple almost the point of suicide. I'm sure that will be a high point for them on Judgement Day.
As a result, I can't abide bullies. On more than one occasion, either Ron, I, or both, have intervened when we discovered gangs beating a single person up. That's a fair fight, getting in a circle and kicking someone when they're down.
Kind of like posting links to your little message board when I'm having hard times. Yeah. I have a dashboard. I have access to all kinds of data.
When you read a particularly rude or unkind comment (except for Mark's), it's them. People don't realize writing has a flavor, one I can recognize.
It is my hope, that while they read my blog, they can assimilate some faith in the process. I don't need any kind of vengeance, and frankly, I don't want it.
Like Ron said, who follows someone around for years like that? Someone without a life. I can barely keep up with two message boards, the blog, and my Facebook. I feel sorry for them.
They are so eager to tell me how to live my life. They come into my house, my blog, and post hateful, mocking, comments. Maybe they think I am so lonely I'll take even "bad breath". No, and like I told Ron, I post the comments so people can see who they are.
And, like Ron said "They don't know me" (I mentioned how eager everyone is to throw him out like an old sock). They don't know US. They can look at my photos, read my words, and get a glimpse, perhaps, but they aren't living my life.
I just thought I'd let you know, I know you're there. I am praying for you every day. I am commanded to do so. I hope you can meet Jesus in a real and meaningful way.
You don't believe it, but Judgement Day is coming. Do you really want to stand before God on your own, or covered by Jesus' sacrifice? Because, without Jesus, we all deserve hell.
And I wouldn't wish that on even a Rabble Rouser.
4 comments:
People can be incredibly unkind :( I'm going to say a few prayers too - it can't hurt. Some for the people who are bothering you, with a hope that they will look within themselves and ask why they feel the need to bother you. And for you, sweet Heather, to help you remain strong.
It did occur to me that the linking may not be malicious? Maybe they find you inspirational and your troubles are fostering healthy debate and quite possibly linking what you are going through with biblical tracts? Maybe they are praying for you? Feeling your pain/joy/journey?
Just a thought - but whichever, good prayers sent with good intentions can never go amiss - so I will send them anyway!
Bless you,
Paula x
That's true, I never followed it, assuming I could have.
I am going on how they treated me back in 2008; mainly. Ron was very sick and they enjoyed mocking me. I was very sick and they did the same. Admittedly, I was not at optimum lithium levels either.
I really need to work on praying for them. Just when I think I have everyone on the prayer list, I find I don't.
Many us follow you be ause we care and keep hoping and praying for you
Many comment from the heart and seem misunderstood
Many comments are lost in translation
You mention " bullies" " haters" and seem to feel so persecuted
What do you want from folks who like to read and follow your stories Heather?
You can have a private blog if you want to avoid feeling like you are being attacked?
I'll do a longer post on this.
In short, I wish my readers would stick to "if you can't say anything nice, don't say it at all".
I get VERY tired of advice mixed in with name calling and personal attacks, on me. I can understand it if someone wants to call Ron a name, especially when he's out of line, but calling me names, saying I'm a sick person, judgmental tones, etc...
You know, I'm trying to live my life in a way that I keep my commitments and please God. A lot of times, that means putting "me" on the back burner. People don't have to like it but I wish they would at least respect the fact that it's my life and my choices.
I would love to hear people are praying for me. Barring that "I know you're having a hard time Heather and my thoughts are with you". "I wish I could come over there and fix it for you" "I don't know what to say but I wish I did" . Something supportive - you know. But it feels like 99% of what I'm getting starts with "Heather you stupid..." and goes downhill from there.
I get the viewpoint - I understand. They feel I am victimizing myself, by choosing to live with an active alcoholic. They think I have done too much caregiving and it's warped my perspective. They may even see it as game-playing.
As they see it, leaving Ron will "solve" my problems. My refusal to do so is baffling, aggravating, and alarming, like watching someone stick their hand in a running garbage disposal.
I just wish they would acknowledge I am doing what *I* feel is the right, moral, and Godly choice. They don't have to like my God, my morals, or my choices, but at least respect them and stop the name calling.
Thank you.
I keep this public to share my struggles - I need to do that to keep my sanity. I've done this since I got online, pretty much. Before that, I had a journal. I do, on occasion, get some meaningful feedback. I hope to get support, and I hope, one day, someone will say "Your faith really inspired me when I had a hard time" or even "Boy, I thought I had it bad until I read your blog!"
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