I'm a child of the 80's.
I heard this song the other day, at the grocery store. I LOVED it when it came out and used to sing along with the chorus.
I'm sure this post will annoy some; but it's my life.
As you may have guessed, I love it because the lyrics apply to me. I don't know if it's a Fetal Alcohol thing, or just who I am, but when I love I love 1000%. An old proverb says "Love is the child of freedom". I am free to love him. I don't love easy but I love intensely.
Everyone I love is flawed in some way, except God, who is perfect. Is this a love letter to Ron? No. Is it a love letter to God? Not really. I keep the praises to myself.
Oh, I almost forgot. My computer would not boot this morning. I was pretty worried, I cannot afford a computer repair. I tried for over an hour, praying, finally decided, "Your will, Lord, whatever that is". Ron and I ran to the warehouse and got some snack foods. I came back, turned it on, and HALLELUJAH! It booted perfectly, and has a few times since.
God fixed it, whatever it is. I think He is trying to tell me to stay off the computer in the morning, focus on Him instead. Good advice.
Then I had to give the kitten a bath. That wasn't fun. She has been a little itchy, and is now big enough for the flea drops. That went pretty well, actually. However, it left a greasy mess all over the back of her neck. I held her down and sponged her off with a soapy washcloth, then rinsed it and cleaned her with plain water to remove the soap residue.
Yesterday, I noticed Bubba had hot, itchy ears. Ear mites. I got the medicine yesterday and dosed him when he came home. Poor cat. It didn't go well. He won't hurt me, praise God, but he will resist with every inch of his body. About a tablespoon of ear drops ended up on the floor. It was a big mess.
He's still not speaking to me. That's the only bad thing about marriage to Ron: I have to do the medicine. I have to get rid of the spider. Ron did get rid of the half eaten mouse.
See, that's what I don't get - people don't understand why I love him. Today was a great example. Our cats love to eat fajitas - the meat. When times are good Ron buys the cats their own plate, it's only $6. Things are pretty bad.
So, today Ron ordered "all chicken" (cats' favorite) fajitas, and ate chips, guacamole, rice, and beans, saving most of the fajitas for the cat. I thought that was so sweet and generous. He didn't make a big deal out of it "Look what I'm doing". I just said "Are you OK? You aren't eating?" and he told me he was saving the meat for the cats.
Things like that are important.
I have suggested that we work nights. Most of the employees are there at night, ergo most of our business. Why not be there and remind them who they're supporting? So, tonight we're going to work. It might rain. It will certainly be cold, but we both think it's a good idea. He's a dedicated businessman.
I worry sometimes I only share bad things: so I'm working on balance.
Ron is not the devil, and I'm no saint!
A good example: I am prone to gossip. Today we had a driver, we'll call him D. He is a nice driver but he ALWAYS just skirts the regulations on cell phone use. We had him first thing in the morning. Later on, we had him to go to the taqueria, but I didn't recognize him (he'd taken off his hat).
He asked how my rides were, today, and I said, "Good, but I'm worried about D. He's going to get fired for his cell phone! He needs to put it away before he gets caught!"
"You mean I need to put it away". Oops.
I immediately apologized but he was annoyed. As I got off, I stopped in front of him and said "I repent of my gossip. I'm really sorry I said that."
"It's OK" he said, but he didn't mean it.
"No, it's not OK, and I hope you forgive me anyway. I won't do that again." He smiled.
WHOOPS! I felt like such a shrew.
4 comments:
i am Terrible with facial recognition, so i can relate! lol
Heather I think I can understand in a way your relationship with your husband and how outsiders to the relationship don't understand. I have been married app 30 years to a difficult man. It's hard to explain how he's "difficult". He doesn't drink, doesn't beat me, is a good provider, has a strong sense of responsibility, isn't "moody" (by which I do NOT mean that he has a sunny disposition either). I really don't know how to explain it-he's strong, almost TOO strong, and has absolutely no tolerance for weakness or failure. I love him with all my heart, but such strength and intolerance for any sign of weakness can be hard to measure up to. The only other person I've ever known like him in my life was my dad (my husband is 17 yrs older than me, don't know if that means anything, seeing as he shares so many traits with my dad). Strong sense of responsibility and duty, especially towards family, but does not suffer fools at all, even when the one who has been foolish is me, because he's also extremely intelligent both bookwise and streetwise or "common sense" wise and he gets really frustrated at my sometimes lack of "street smarts". I don't mean in "gang" kind of way, I mean he gets angry that I used to trust people too readily and used to open up too easily, though I don't do that anymore. In fact, after years of having it hammered into me, I'm really extremely reserved in my old age. But I still make "mistakes", like not thinking before telling some door-to-door sales guy that my husband's out of town on business and he'll have to come back. I usually know better, but the guy just kept at me about when he could come back and out I came with that info. My husband was so angry-of course, he's right, and his anger is an expression of his protectiveness, but as I told him, I thought that we'd established long ago that I'm not as smart as he is so he has to allow for that now and then (yes, there's a little bitterness there, as most other people in my life consider me at least somewhat intelligent and very well-read--I'm an avid bookworm of history, biography, and the like).
It's quite the Catch-22. We've already agreed between us that I'm a dumb bunny when it comes to certain matters of life wisdom, which doesn't happen very often anyway as I just don't deal with people and let him do it, but I still catch it for being a dumb bunny in these matters. Can't win for losing.
But he's so good to me and so protective of me, in an old-fashioned way that most men just aren't anymore, that it's hard to complain. My mother is somewhat uncomfortable regarding him because she's the touchy-feely, talk everything over type, amd he's most definitely not like that at all (so I don't discuss our relationship with her, as she would naturally feel obliged to "defend" me against what doesn't really need defending) He would mock me for even mentioning the idea of such a thing as a "love language". I had to learn a long time ago to understand that he thinks I should have no doubt that he loves me, because he's here and he's happy to meet his duties and responsibilities towards me-what more could I want? And I can even see his point, because I have seen marriages where the husband paid all kinds of lip service to the wife, loving words and romantic gestures, but never doing the really hard part, the day-to-day, day in day out, meeting of their responsibilities as a husband. I saw how the wives really loved their "romantic" guy at first but quickly became disenchanted at how he was always quick with a bouquet or some lovey-dovey words, but ducked out when the hard slogging tasks of life had to be dealt with.
So I suppose I'm venting a bit here, because I've seen both ways, and on the whole I'd have be thankful for mine.
Thanks for letting me vent in a safe place :)
That's an interesting point - Ron used to be VERY intolerant of what he called "sub level" mistakes - not an average mistake, but below my "level", for instance, leaving my purse at a restaurant, etc.
After his accident and the head injury, he has much more empathy, but can still be a little critical.
Exactly. It's very curious-my husband will be completely calm, unruffled, and understanding when I make a major foul-up--like a couple of nights ago, I had the first fender-bender I've ever had in my life (my purse was falling off the passenger seat and in the process of dumping everything out-I tried to catch it, and in the split-second I took my eyes off the car in front of me, he hit his brakes and I rear-ended him). Fortunately he seemed to be an honest guy-we called the police, got the insurance paperwork dealt with, and he allowed me to take pictures of his car. It wasn't a big deal-no injuries, no noticeable to damage to either car (a small ding in mine).
I was so anxious that my husband was going to be angry, though I should have known better from past history. It's weird, he gets angry about small things that wouldn't bother most people, but then will be so calm and kind about something that I would consider rather important! I suppose he thinks I'm already upset enough for the both of us :)
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