Wednesday Morning

 I got Indian food delivered last night, it was good.  I will freeze the leftovers today I feel like I need to clear the carbs.  

I also, at some point, need to make up some lunches for the next couple days.  Thursday and Friday I will get McDonald's double cheeseburger for my lunch, but I need to cover Saturday and Sunday as well.  I will worry about that later.  

I went to sleep OK but woke up again a couple of times.  My aunt reads this on occasion so I have to word this right.  It is a huge shock, her moving.  A bigger one than I expected.  I will be "fine" I have no doubt about that but there is going to be an adjustment.  And I am in the adjustment right now which equals sleep issues and depression.  

She has a perfect right to move and I am happy for her.  At the end of it, she doesn't owe me anything and I am clear on that.  I want her to go and be happy, although I think the winters are going to suck a bit more than they think.  God has got me this far, He will continue to carry me.  

It's just another loss on top of everything else.  And that is hard.  At least she is still alive.  I can call her, although probably not as often.  Maybe do zoom calls once I figure that out.  But it is cutting off a source of emotional support and that's an adjustment.  

Also, what the hell do I do on my day off now?  I am used to running around with her.  Do I do that in a cab?  My cab guy would love that.  Do I do it on the bus with one of those hand carts?  

I don't know, I guess God will help me figure it out.  I can do cab and Uber to a lot of places like the thrift store.  And from my understanding my aunt will come down now and then to visit.  So it's not a total loss, just a significant one.  

And the very LAST thing I would want is for her to feel bad about any of this.  I'm not her daughter, I'm her niece.  Her kids need her and I understand that.  Her grandkids need her, I think the one little grand daughter is having some trouble.  I wish them all well and hope they are really happy.  

And it's not about what I want, it's about what GOD wants and this is very apparent to both of us He wants her to move.  And I have been leaning on her a lot, time for the training wheels to come off.  

That all said it looks like a nice day.  I am going to take my shower tonight so I can go back to my nightly shower thing after work.  The hours work out a little better for that; I start later on the weekend and some week days next week.  Working later also means starting later which works out.  My hair and all look fine right now certainly for hanging out at the house.  

I even used my Mane and Tail Hair Strengthener on my hair today.  It smells like cherry cough drops but my hair seems to like it, if I can just use it consistently I think I will see good results.  I think I am going to open the blinds so I can get some sun.  

And I need to do my God Time regardless.  So off to do that.