Friday morning

 Ron and I decided to try and see if he could take his seizure pill by himself this morning.  He did a good job.  One load off my back.  

I had a dream about my sister last night and not a good one.  I woke up glad I had cut her out of my life.  A couple reasons: narcissist, plays head games, hoarder.  Very insolent and entitled employee told the boss "go ahead and fire me" walking off the job one day.  I don't think she realizes how few employers will put up with someone "sickly" and so many head games.  She was also defrauding her employer by taking personal counseling sessions 3x a week under workers comp "post traumatic" from a client tried (and failed) to rape her she basically saw him naked and ran off.  And I always come back to she was very healthy for over 20 years with her husband and kids, kids started moving out and suddenly she has a major lifelong health issue.  I just couldn't buy it. Exposed me to C. diff on one occasion can you imagine if I had brought that home to Ron?  Her doctors have all told her to go out on disability but she is a hoarder, wants the deluxe lifestyle, "I wouldn't have enough money".  Then she shouldn't have divorced her husband who did have money.  

She stated he was "emotionally abusing her".  When pressed she said he had made a comment about people who commit suicide must have a demon.  She took that very personally and her "therapist" talked her into ditching him.  

She wanted me to move to Florida and be her caregiver "So someone can tell the doctor what I want in the middle of the night when I'm sick and can't talk".  Should have thought of that before you ditched your husband!  I am NOT your mommy.  

And she tries to hold it over me she changed a few of my diapers when I was a toddler.  You're SUPPOSED to do that, dumbass. It doesn't give you the right to demand I wipe YOUR butt 50 years later.  She would have been up on charges right next to my mother if she had failed to care for me.   

One weird thing, she was obsessed with getting a bipolar diagnosis like our mother had, and I have.  Her doctor kept telling her she didn't meet the criteria but caved and gave her a "Bipolar (not otherwise specified)" just to shut her up.  She went around telling everyone she was bipolar like it's a freaking PASS to do whatever you want... 

Whenever I see my uncle he always wants to know how she is and carries on what a shame it is I am not in contact.  Here's the best part, I sent her a letter asking her to please give me space for a month while I thought about our relationship.  She stalked me so bad I had to block her number, sent me packages (I told her NO contact), which I sent back, and then called my parents in hysterics saying I was in trouble and had lost the house, all sorts of BS.  My parents told her to back off and called me, I explained.  But my stepmother was pissed!   I guess she figured they would shame me into resuming contact.  

When the stalking issue here got bad I had to wonder if it was her.  I won't know until God returns but I wouldn't be surprised to hear it had been her.  

It took months but she finally backed off.  I DON'T miss any of it.  I used to dread Sundays because that's when she'd call.  Don't miss her and, more importantly, no conviction about cutting her off.  

The Holy Spirit has a way of getting me - say I am sharp to Ron, I feel conviction.  I hadn't forgiven my parents - conviction.  I didn't forgive the driver who got Ron and had sick fantasies of beating him with a metal pipe - conviction.  Same with the officer who falsified the accident report and likely stole our cash.  

Her?  I forgive her for what she attempted to do - break me and Ron up so I would be her caregiver.  I understand her childhood fucked her up completely and she will never be able to have a normal relationship ever.  That is why the cult had such pull for her, they offered a pretense.  

Our brother has become a hermit.  That was his call - he is a sweet man and I like him but I get it.  

So that started the day.  I did my God Time.  World Missionary press has some nice little Bible study booklets on Romans, Genesis, Matthew, and Revelation.  I am working my way through Romans.  I have problems with the "old" King James language in the booklet on Psalms and it is basically unreadable to me (I will gift it).  I like the booklet it breaks down the lessons into digestible chunks while staying true to scripture.  That is very important to me.  So I enjoy that as part of my God Time.  Once I finish Romans I will do Revelation and then start at Genesis and go to Matthew.  

I swept the floor, took a little break, then mopped everything.  I did laundry and changed my sheets.  Did a couple loads of clothes actually.  Then put it away.  

I made some tea.  Ron is listening to his radio and sharing various songs.  I got Taco Bell last night for dinner they were running a special, buy one chalupa box get one free.  So I did that.  Ron ate the taco last night and had the chalupa for breakfast.  I am happy it had vegetables and protein.  I had a sandwich around 11.  I am still doing the intermittent fasting.  

That's it for ...

I forgot about Biscuit.  He has been getting in my lap during my God Time which is proving problematic.  He stays encamped in my lap very determined.  I have tried giving him treats, he doesn't leave.  I give him petting, he stays.  I don't give him petting, he stays.  It is a little baffling because I can't figure out if he is working for God or the devil!  😂

I will let you know what I figure out.  NOW I'm done.