I made a special point of getting dressed and going to check the mail. Because Ron can't.
I found an invoice from our insurance company, they want $909. That's not bad, considering. I went back home to tell Ron about it.
"Don't bother me, I'm sick".
I blew up at him and told him, if he was SO sick, he should see a doctor. "Oh, I'm not THAT sick, I just overate at the chicken place" He ate a thigh, and about 1/4 cup of red beans and rice. Now he is lying around in bed moaning he ate too much.
He told me to bug off and I left. I put the invoice in a safe place. The last thing we want to do is lose our coverage. We have a longevity and a no claim discount.
Ron called me to go back to the bedroom. On Saturday, he chose not to do our supply run because he was lazy. He said he would go Tuesday.
But the guy he was counting on had his phone turned off, so clearly unreliable. He called Chuck to take us tomorrow. We desperately need this inventory and we really need to stock it, or we are going to get (formal) complaints.
Ron forgets, all it takes is one phone call from the "right" person and we are out of there.
Anyway, I went back. Ron ignored me, playing around with something. I finally told him I was going to leave if he didn't talk to me. He told me was still "sick" (from "overeating" a single piece of chicken?), and "couldn't" work tomorrow. I told him the chicken would digest by tomorrow and we needed the inventory. He said he was sick.
I told him if he was really sick, he needed to see a doctor. He blew up at me over that and accused me of being "uncaring, unsympathetic" and why did it matter anyway. I told him I had empty vending machines, and reminded him no one ever calls about an empty soda machine, it's always a complaint about snacks.
And, between us, that makes ME look bad. Not that he cares.
He said he had called me back to "get permission" because he thought I was a "loving, caring" (read: enabling) wife and would "understand" he couldn't work tomorrow.
He was in for a big shock if he thought that.
He kept saying he couldn't help unload the truck. He really thinks he will still be "full" 12 hours from now. Now, if he is, he has gastroparesis, and they have medication for it, but he would have to see a doctor for it.
I told him I unloaded the truck by myself when he was in the hospital, and if he was really that lazy he could sit there in the wheelchair while I did all the work myself. He said he will do that.
But at least I got him to agree to go on the supply run and go to work. He kept saying he hated work, he didn't make any money. I asked him what was in his wallet? He shut up over that.
I am just so frustrated. This is a man who used to work 16 hour days, stocking, doing the books, running the deli, filling vending machines. Now he just wants to lie in bed all the time.
Maybe I need to talk to him. He used to talk all the time about how he wished he would hit rock bottom, so he could go live [in assisted living], lie around in bed all day, and "watch" TV. I am going to talk to him and tell him, either you are living with me, in this house, and working, or you leave me and the cats and go move into your precious nursing home. But you won't come back, if you don't like it you will just have to live there.
I am sick of him expecting me to enable him. What did I EVER do to make him think I would be OK with empty vending machines for a whole week?
I don't care what he does in his personal time, if he doesn't want to do anything, lie around and sleep, I can understand that. I believe he suffers from depression and that is very common. But I will not tolerate him [censoring] around with work.
No way.
5 comments:
No one in their right mind would let their livelihood be destroyed. He is not in his right mind. The enemy comes to kill steal and destroy. I can see attacks ramping up on my family too. I feel like I have a target on my back. But I cling to my blessed hope.
You need to save yourself. You are smart and very capable. I'm sorry Ron's choices affect you so negatively. A nursing home probably won't put up with his drinking.
Good for you Heather for setting him straight. The drinking was one thing but not wanting to go into work seems like a new development in his behavior.
Unfortunately you are at his mercy for the paratransit rides and taking a cab back and forth to work would make it a losing operation for you both.
If he goes into a nursing home you won't have this business anymore and will you be able to find a job? I don't know. I would hire you because I know what a hard worker you are and how good you are with even the most difficult of customers.
Please start planning for the future for yourself and the cats. Also revisit getting disability for yourself if at all possible. They have different tiers of this service available for example if you need it to get to work w/your inventory or there is no bus system by where you work so you can get a pass with limited access to use the system for certain trips.
Could you get income as Ron's care giver instead of paying a nursing home?
It maybe sounds negative, but maybe Ron is trying to tell you he would like to go to an assisted living, that he just can't do this anymore. I know change is hard to deal with, but at some point you need to realize what he is saying.
I think the other Anonymous' are right it does sound like he wants to go into the assisted living and it sounds like you need to start preparing for the future sooner rather than later. Interesting that he had the energy to do the bible handout, though.
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