Saturday, March 28, 2015


Why do I get upset at the sound of kids playing next door?

Good question.  It didn't used to bother me.

1.  The kids next door #6 have had a tendency to come out of their yard, opening their gate, walking around my house, opening my gate, and run reckless in my yard.  I suppose that's one reason I tense up expecting trouble.  This, I should add, is AFTER revocation of permission to enter my yard under any circumstances (well, I wouldn't mind if the mother came in my front yard after her toddler).

2.  The kids on the other side had a tendency to destroy my property when playing.  One time I caught them ripping boards off my fence.  They didn't have "permission" to enter my yard, so they got the bright idea to make a hole.   Apparently sneaking in through a hole after destroying the fence gets a child in "less" trouble than walking around.  Again, they did not have permission to enter the yard.  I talked to his mother. 

3.  Same house, different tenant - the dog (I know not a child but same principle, something in their care they should have been watching) ripped huge holes in the fence because it liked my husband and wanted to live with him.

4.  The kid on the back fence used to yell at me whenever I went in the backyard, trying to engage me.  I just ignored her.  I always felt the parents should have taught her not to engage strangers under any circumstance, even a "neighbor".  90% of all kids are molested by someone known and trusted by the family.  Like a neighbor.  The girl would bother me every time I went in the yard, shouting "Hello!" at me endlessly.   I took the silent approach.  I knew her father would freak out if I tried to tell her about Bad People, even though she desperately needed to hear it.   He was a very strange man.  He used to play drums, very loudly, at 3 AM.  I didn't really want to talk to him. 

This is where I remind you I have severe mental illness.  Her parents, none of the neighbor parents, have any idea what I battle in my head, medicated, on a daily basis.  If they did they would bring the kids in the house when they saw me, and cross the street to avoid us.  Most likely, they would move. 

I talk about this - but many don't.  Terrible idea for you to allow your kids to approach any neighbor unless you are already on good terms and trust them.  You may find your child charming and adorable, but some don't. Some may be fighting horrific demons telling them to harm themselves and others, battling a distorted reality, psychotic depression, or all of it. 

Which brings me to 5.  One time I found kids from #2 (again) in my BACKYARD, having climbed over my gate to snoop (I didn't see a ball or anything in his hand when he left), looking in my window.  When I caught him at it he wasn't even ashamed.

"Boy" he said to me "You have a lot of books."  That is NOT his business.  Had he been an adult I'd have called the police.

This happened when he was supposed to be "playing outside".

Do you know how I'd have been whipped for going into someone's yard without permission, and looking in their windows?  I was happy to see the last of them.  I suspect they may have been implicated in the robbery a few years later.

6.  Can you imagine battling a horrific depression, not suicidal but if God takes you, you sure wouldn't protest - so tired and weary of day after day after day of unending emotional pain, and then hearing screaming kids for hours on end?  It's not a good thing for me.   I find it painful. 

7. - During one memorable party back in 2011, I found large groups of screaming children from #6 running around in my yard.  "We lost our ball".  I notice they never lose their ball over the other fences.  If it comes up tonight I'm going to mention that.  "Why do you only lose your stuff in my yard?"  [Of course, I currently have a huge weedy thicket out there so anything lost is staying lost.] 

In their little child minds, why should one kid have all the fun of getting the ball and running around in my much larger yard?  No, they would all come, all 10 of them.  And why stop at getting the ball?  Let's make some laps around the yard, screaming at the top of our lungs.  Let's leave the gate open, ignore little brother. 

I found the toddler in my yard, unsupervised.  A 3 year old, if that.  When I ran over to him to grab his hand and take him home (I planned to make a silent point - I am taking better care of your kids than you are), he ran out of my yard (so yes, he knew it was wrong), almost into the street.  That's when I revoked permission for anyone to enter my yard.

A couple months later the little boy broke his arm, which really confirmed it.  

During this particular party, I actually grabbed a young teenager.   It was nearly 10 PM on a Sunday.  "Do you know" I told him "I have to get up at 2 AM?  When are they going to finish?"

"I'm sorry" he told me.  He is the only one in nearly 11 years that has ever apologized for disturbing me during one of their parties.  I saw him talking to the father, who kept continuing to "party" for another hour.  Nice.

That was a really fun day at work, let me tell you.  

Clearly I'm going to have a problem with screaming packs of kids running around past Ron's bedroom window, late at night, when he's trying to sleep.  Sleep is very important for both head injury and mental illness patients, triply so for those like me with both. 

Why am I talking about this?  They are having a gathering next door.

4 visitor cars plus their own 6 kids = a lot of racket.  It didn't used to bother me but now I wonder what they are up to, are they going to come in my yard?  Will I have to go next door and yell at the parents again?  

Last time I had to use the word "trespassing".   They gave me the eye roll, yeah, whatever.  

You know what really annoys me?  A couple days ago the father comes over acting like he's going to do us a huge favor and "mow the yard, front and back".

[Ron and I always say he makes these offers because he wants "the neighborhood" to look good when he's having a party.  He usually only mows his yard when he's getting ready for a party.]  We told him no very firmly and he was pretty irked.

If his family used their permission properly, behaved, etc., I might have "let" him do it so he'd "look good" for his friends and family.  But I knew if I let one in for any reason it's an unending tide.  He'll just have to "live" with the pain of my yard during his party - if he ever comes out of his house. 

It's ironic, because the house on his other side looks just as bad, and so does #2.  #7, across the street, and #9 are the only ones who mowed this week.

All the yard guys are completely backed up.  They had 3 weeks of solid rain during their busy season.  So, not only did they miss out on the work, they also had that much more work due to the rain making everything grow.

We've already paid our guy - we always pay him in advance.  He is coming.  We called him days ago.

What did I do tonight?  Well, other than this (because I am battling a horrible depression and I have to get this out of my system).  I also decided to shut the bedroom and bathroom doors.  It does a good job of cutting back the noise.

At least the poor dog is getting some attention tonight.

I also found a couple of Disciple playlists and have streamed them.  Let me tell you, they could be having a gang war and I wouldn't hear it. 

Edit: Last year the kids came over later (8 PM) asking for their ball.  Last year, I told them to stop banging on my door and ringing my doorbell, my husband was "very sick" and they were "waking him up". 

So, 9 PM tonight they come by saying "Can we get our ball?" 

No, I told them.  You abused your privilidge (so angry I can't spell) - "You abused it and you lost it.  You don't get to do that and you know it.  I told you more than once." 

I then reminded them of my "very sick husband" and told them I had specifically asked them NOT to come and do what they had just done "You probably just woke him up".

"No" I told them "I am not going out back to find your ball tonight.  I'm not going to reward you."  I will, I continued, throw it over the fence TOMORROW.

They didn't like that.  "Do you do this with any of the other neighbors?  Any of this, go in their yard, bang on their door and ask them to bring you your ball?"

NO, he replied. "They just throw the ball over the fence when they find it."

EXACTLY I replied.  I will do that.  

And yes, they woke Ron up.  I am livid.  I specifically told them 1.  Not allowed in my yard.  I have told them this for nearly 4 years now.  They're going to come over and act like I FORGOT?  2.  DON'T bang on my door or ring the doorbell - which they did. 

I don't care if they're having a party.  They can wait until tomorrow just like they would have if it had gone over one of the other 2 fences. 

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