Saturday, March 28, 2015

Takeout and TV dinners

notes for later blogging:
Things on top of Bibles

I once had a woman "yell" at me online, because I stacked my cases of Bibles.  I don't think she realized just how many I distribute.  "You can't put anything on top of a Bible!" she shouted.

"What if it's another Bible?" I retorted.

She got very irate.

Now, I have, as you might expect, Bibles everywhere.  I have Bibles by the case stacked by the front door.  I have loose Bibles spread all over my house.

"Like a gun nut" I told Ron "I've always got one in arm's reach".  

Ron teased me relentlessly one day when he asked me to look up a verse and I didn't have a Bible!  Embarrassing! 

I don't have a problem putting another book on top of a Bible. 

I have a damaged Bible, it has some dirt on the edge of the pages.  I put my bag on it after a handout, and the bag had some mud on it.  I was pretty horrified, but kept it. 

Happily I bought it, and not a sponsor.  I would have felt a million times worse. 

Anyway, I keep it on my nightstand.  Might as well read it - I like to read a little before bed and first thing in the morning.  I keep my eyeglass case on top, and wouldn't have a problem keeping my earplug case up there too.  Or an alarm clock. 

The other day I got undressed after work.  The cats had knocked the Bible down on the floor.  I almost dropped my dirty socks on it.  But I wouldn't put dirty clothes on a Bible - that is disrespectful.  I wouldn't eat off one, either, unless it was a waterproof Bible, and mine. 

So, I do have a few rules.  But I have to laugh when I look at my front room, stacked cases of Bibles, yet more Bibles and my Handout Box (a collapsible crate I use to transport the loose Bibles) sitting proudly on top, rolled up sign and safety vest aboard. 

Yes, I put things on my Bibles. 

Date with Jesus
I talked yesterday - it's easier for me to have a clear mind first thing in the morning.  For one, my medication is probably at it's lowest, rendering clear thought more possible.  Secondly, Ron interrupts.  Thirdly, things happen during my day that upset me, and it's hard to turn that off before I do my God Time. 

This morning, though, I woke up with a horrific depression.  No shower for me! 

I didn't know I had a problem, but I had s spectacular hemorrhoidal blowout on the toilet this morning.  Blood everywhere, some pain.  [sigh]  Really?  

Add the crushing depression: lack of interest - my primary clinical symptom, emotional pain, huge fatigue, hopelessness.

Yet I'm going to sit here on my loveseat, give God a lot of attention, praise and worship?  It sounded exhausting. 

I do face this a lot when depressed - the one thing that makes me feel better is often the hardest to start. 

I decided to light a couple of candles. I placed them on the floor in front of me, so I could watch them.  I wanted to make sure the kittens didn't knock them over, either. 

I scoffed at myself as I set them up "Looks like I'm planning a date".  I decided I was, with Jesus, and He appreciated my effort. 

I have to think He values my time even more when He knows how hard it is for me to "give". 

I got to it.  The kittens did show up, sniffed at the candles, and didn't burn the place down.  I had a good time once I got started, but getting started it always the hard part. 

Ron and I went out.  We needed cat food.  The pet store shares a parking lot with a Starbucks. 

I left Ron at Starbucks, walked over, and got the last 2 bags of the grain free salmon cat food.  The boys love it. 

Biscuit has some trouble (he's the one with the gray head) eating standard treats.  Too many treats make him sick.  He is OK with the softer, meat based treats. 

I got some of those (both the freeze dried beef lung and the trout/chicken were very popular), and 2 bags of food. 

I managed to say "Sorry" to the beautiful black cat.  He only had one eye and was 11 years old.  Poor baby.  I hope he finds a new home. 

I went back to Ron.  He whined/coaxed me into running over to the burger place and getting some takeout.  I did that. 

I did feel better, eating my bacon cheeseburger.  Ron sure liked his. 

I may not be able to cook these days due to depression and medication, but I can at least get him takeout and TV dinners.  I took my medication early (OK to do and clearly needed). 

We had a good ride home and I took a nap after helping Biscuit sample his new treats.  Biscuit climbed into bed with me and slept. 

The dog behind us was going crazy, barking. 

A word on that: I heard the dog barking a lot last night.  I believe the police came by. 

Their garage door is shut, and the dog is in the backyard "as usual".  One of their cars sits in the driveway now. 

Having got a look at it, and dealt with the aggression, I am dreading my next trip out back.  

I don't know what happened but I am glad Ron called in the welfare check.  It didn't look like the dog had any food or water. 

I also had trouble last night: the dog next door kept yapping.  Now it's a small dog, friendly, but boy can she yap. 

Both times, I put in my earplugs.  I can sleep with my earplugs for a couple hours at a time now.  Last night I took them out a few hours later, and it was fine. 

The neighbors just had a mobile groomer come by to fix up the little dog next door.  [shrug]  That's better than the other people do.  

I hope, as I did with the yardwork, it is not a predecessor to a party. 

I am surrounded by dogs.  I just wish I could feel safe in my own backyard, and they let me sleep when I wanted. 

I don't think that's going to happen. 

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