Are you taking your medication?

Whenever someone asks me for advice about bipolar disorder, I always ask the same question:  "Are you/they taking their medication?"  Because, in my opinion, if they aren't, the conversation ends there. 

No one knows better than I, how messed up it gets inside an unmedicated bipolar head.  I couldn't reason.  I couldn't think. I was a slave to my illness, raging at everyone.  The only salvation came in the form of pink capsules (lithium), and a nice little orange antipsychotic (haldol).  Without them, you had better run like hell. 

I earned the nickname "Heather the Hatchet" for just that reason, and that was before the illness got really bad.  Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to educate people.  I love to help. 

But there's no helping someone off their meds.  They have to make the decision to take it, as directed and get stable before anyone can do anything with them. 

It's like a ravenous animal.  I'm not going to stick my arm in that cage!  You shouldn't either! 

People get upset, I tell them "If they aren't taking their meds, tell them you will leave them.  If they continue to refuse, do leave them." 

"Oh, I can't do that.  He's sick."  Yeah, and they will drag you down with them until they get medicated.  

I'm not blind, either.  I have bipolar friends on the internet.  The ones unmedicated disappear for long periods of time, pop up, post so much I just know they are manic, get into dramas, and disappear again. 

Every single one, save one, has an unstable life.  Every one. 

See, what we, the patient don't always realize, and this only solidified for me recently: "I have an obligation to provide a stable, loving person, for the people around me, loved ones, friends, and strangers.  They deserve to have me at my best, medicated and functioning." 

For those who whine about side effects - see the above paragraph.  I dealt with horrible nausea and vomiting every day for over 6 years.  I deal with brain fog, fatigue.  If you've seen my video blogs you've seen me "haz a dumb".  I get migraines, nasty vomiting ones.  Right now I'm dripping sweat from a hot flash. 

And you know what?  I have never heard "I love you" so much in my life.  My husband loves me and values me all the more - because I am willing to endure those side effects in order to provide him with an optimal life.  I have never met a new person who didn't believe I was "fine".  It's amusing really, I mention depression and the new acquaintences say "I didn't know you had depression.  Are you really mentally ill?" 

And I laugh and laugh, to myself. 

So, here it is:  Are you taking your medication?