Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Ants in my brain

I felt like I had ants in my brain; it's a frustrating mania.  I felt very energized, but not very well directed.  I have dug up huge garden beds in the yard, finished craft projects, taught myself entirely new operating systems, built web pages, and even wrote a book during manias.  Two books, actually. 

When it's a directionless mania; it's hard.  I am irritable, jumpy, and impatient; and I don't have any where to point it; it's like a huge firehose set on a very broad setting; I hit everything and nothing at the same time. 

I missed a bus, and it turns out that was a very good thing.  I went to the grocery store, not my favorite.  I am very frustrated with them. They literally doubled the price on their bottled Diet Dr Pepper.  That's insane.  I got some honeybuns for the Christian bookstore, and a couple of 2 liter bottles. 

I wasn't much of a treat; checking out.  Ugh.  I was so frustrated with the store I threw the "savings card" out as I left.  I don't think they will cry over "losing" me.  [snicker]  I didn't have a tantrum, or treat anyone badly, but I was very frustrated. 

I got to the bus stop.  Boy, it was hot, sunny, and I suddenly realized "I really need another lithium.  I am going to have a horrible day if I don't."  I got a snack and took my lithium as the bus pulled up. 

I went to the Christian bookstore.  Recently, someone asked me to make some Bible suggestions for someone; and I verified the ones I had suggested were good.  I also chatted a little about the Bible handout, gave them the pastries, and left. 

I decided to walk over to a grocery store; afterwards.  Maybe 15 minutes after I'd crossed, a car went off the road, through the crosswalk, and into a pole.  God isn't ready for me yet.  I would have died. 

Much more pleasantly medicated, I looked around the grocery store.  I bought some incense for my God Time.  I like a certain brand.  They have some bulk foods; so I got some bulk nuts for a do-it-myself trail mix. 

I am certainly avoiding anything "wheaty".  Do you know that Fritos have wheat?  I'm glad I read the label before I paid!  I had to go for a snickers (hey, I was really manic, and needed to get something down with that lithium). 

I came out of the store, gaped at the DREADFUL accident, and went to Starbucks.  I had just enough left to buy my steamer.  I knew the "mess" would impede all my home-bound buses for quite a bit, and got out my book.  I read that for a while and finished my drink. 

Then I came home.  At one bus stop, the bus bench was so hot I took my trusty microfiber hand towel out of my bag and laid it on the concrete.  I would have gotten first-degree butt burns (hm, interesting title) if I'd sat unprotected!  The hand towel performed above and beyond expectations. 

I was also happy to get an excellent transfer with minimal waiting, and a nice little walk home. 

Time for yet another lithium. 

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