I've had some pretty nasty problems with anxiety, the last little bit.  The last few nights in particular, were very bad.  Lying in bed, my heart pounding out of my chest, not for the weak. 

I reminded myself that I had fallen asleep at least 12,000 times in my life (more accurately, over 13,000).  I could certainly fall asleep one more night.  And I did, eventually.  It was a pretty ugly hour, though... or longer. 

I'm not saying this to whine; that's pointless.  Am I taking my medication?  You bet.  As directed?  You bet.  I'm being careful about my caffeine intake, too.  It's just another symptom. 

If I got food poisoning, I'd vomit, and I wouldn't hate myself.  If I got the flu, I wouldn't get angry because I had a fever, or try to "lecture" myself out of coughing!  So, I treat the anxiety as "Just another symptom", which includes being kind to myself, taking my medication as directed, and remembering, yet again - if I don't like the mood, wait 10 minutes! 

I'd forgotten how much I hated it, and how easy it is to let it spiral into an anxiety attack.  I didn't, but I had some fighting. 

Now I'm sitting here in my chair trying to call the pharmacy; busy.  Finally got in.  The computer says no refills. 

Which is kind of foolish, when you think about it.  I'm taking non-addictive mood stabilizing and antipychotic medication.  Doc should be able to write me a lifetime prescription.  I'm going to keep taking them 'till I'm dead... so why mess with the little piece of paper every couple months? 

Anyway, I got a good night's sleep last night, I only woke up a few times for a drink.  A good night's sleep is a gift from God. 

I even got a nap this afternoon, until I had a nightmare about the neighbors storing a ladder on our roof.  Yeah.