It's not true, but I'd love to believe it: "Manias are good, depressions are bad". I don't know about others, but not MY manias.
Ugh. I have been horribly restless, jumpy, irritable. I'm having trouble sleeping. I'm getting belligerent on "my" message boards.
Ugh. I just want to knock myself out until the mania passes and I can "enjoy" my next depression.
I think it's very important to state an ongoing request: I am constantly asking God to "Keep me useful". I don't want to become some arrogant, useless, thing. I want to be usable, useful, humble, obedient, and loving.
Humble. Humility is one of those tricky traits. If I think I am, I probably am not. How do I know if I'm humble? I don't. I know I need to watch my pride, God reminds me of that. I try to be vigilant, and remember that He directs everything.
Well, when my brain is running off like a runaway car, and I'm either "speeding" or in the ditch, I know Who directs my steps. I know He's in charge. I would hate to see my life with "me" in charge! So, the illness works for humility.
I was feeling rather desperate as I did my God Time this morning, the inside of my brain felt so itchy, and that was after medication..
I swear God put it in my head:
"Heather, keep pimping myWord."
I laughed so hard I almost fell off the couch. I could just see me, dressed up in the baggy-pants gansta attire, with some "slow", loud rap playing in the background, making "God Signs" at the passing cars (instead of gang signs), and beckoning to my "Free Bibles" sign.
[snort] So, would I shave my head, or wear a "rag"?
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