I don't like admitting I have "buttons".  It makes me feel small and pathetic, somehow. 

I'd love to think I'm always calm, strong, and firm in my thoughts, only slipping under massive assault by my illness, or horrendous circumstances.  The truth is a lot different; I have "buttons", that, when pushed, can render quite a bit of chaos with very little effort. 

Ron has them too, but about the only one I can discover offhand - is when I tell him I am sick or hurt.  That gets him very upset at God, and himself, and yearning to make me better. 

One of my buttons, in fact, is very similar - if I feel Ron's being attacked.  Oh, I inflame pretty quickly.  [note - the bluejay I rescued is cawing in my front yard, he does sound like a couple of rusty hinges]

Another one, much to my embarrassment, is the "deli" issue.  Whenever that buttons' pushed, I react pretty quickly.  I'm not sure what, exactly, does it. 

The fact that we consistently lost over $1,000 a month running the thing?  Poured half our vending profits a month, into keeping it "afloat" - so someone could get a hot dog a couple times a month?  Who wants to PAY a thousand dollars a month to get completely stressed out, and work another 40 hours a week on top of your "real" job? 

Or is it the fact, and I think it is, that people have consistently refused to believe it lost money?  Maybe they don't understand the accounting.  Maybe they think the inventory just appeared in the magic fridge without paying for it; the tax authorities ignored us; the employees worked for free; and we brought in at least a couple hundred a night?  We didn't, but try to tell them that. 

And that was when vending sales were 3 times better, than today. 

They seem to have this idealistic image that the deli is a gold mine, just waiting to be reopened.  I wish I could tell them, it lost money.  You complain about having money problems NOW; a month or two down the line, they would be a lot worse. 

Not to mention, the fact that they'd want to take away the little money Ron does make, Ron - who is blind and in a wheelchair (thanks to a Postal Worker, no less)- well, that gets my other button.