Under the hood

Sorry about last night; I was very tired and accidentally closed "Part 2 Video Blog" before it was processed.  I couldn't get it back. 

It's a sad statement when I tell you Ron's in the next room and I'm all tense.  He has been pretty demanding today. 

It seemed like every couple minutes, he wanted me to drop everything to help him.  If I told him "I just need a minute to finish this" then I got scolded for "making excuses".  "You never help me when I ask". 

My favorite part was when a vending machine was "down".  It was the new bottled soda vendor. 

When a machine has a problem, I leap into action to fix it.  I did so. 

I got "under the hood" and began examining the interior.  I had a very nasty coin jam.  I needed something long, with leverage, that I could use to pry the jam loose.  I also needed something, a shelf about 3 feet high, as a rest for the coin mechanism.  It was wired into the board and I could pull it off, but I didn't have much slack.  I wanted to rest it on something so I could get my long, slender item, and get the jam loose. 

As it turned out, the coin mech also had an internal jam, which I fixed.  It vends now on coins and bills.  I know the "trick" for preventing further jams.  I also reprogrammed a row to $1, from another price.  Not bad. 

I asked Ron for help.  He was crushing cardboard.  He told me "NO".  "This is more important, and I'm not your 'boy' to order around!"   He actually said it was more important to mash cardboard than to fix a down vending machine. 

I told him, "Then I can't fix it right now.  I'll close it up and work on something that is making money."  I remounted the coin mech and went off to finish stocking the snack machines, which had done pretty well considering. 

I will need more candy items, and the chips I had in abundance were popular sellers.  Excellent.  I call it the loaves and fishes thing; when God gives everyone a taste for the stuff we have in abundance. 

I got to work.  At first, Ron didn't believe me.  Then he realized I had closed up the other machine and was stocking snacks.  A bunch of yelling.  How could I neglect....

I told him "You just told me trash was more inportant than fixing the machine!  So I decided to fill something that is working!"  More yelling.  He called the repairman, using the word "Stupid" to refer to me. 

People.  Wonder.  Why.  I'm.  "Devout".  I am sure people wonder why I "take it".  Well, this is where God needs me.  And let me tell you, living with Ron has me talking to God very, very, frequently.  I am ALWAYS asking Him for help. 

I used to put Ron, before God.  It's called "idolatry".  I sure don't do it anymore!  No matter what I do, Ron is never happy. 

But, God wants me here.  Maybe the fact that He gives me the "grace" to deal; helps reach other people.  Maybe people will think "Well, if God can help HER with THAT, maybe I should give Him a try!"  I like to think that. 

Ron is now SHOUTING at me because I can't find the property tax bills.  Well, sorry.  This is the world of brain damage; there it IS.  There it ISN'T!  I will continue to look but I am not worried for 3 reasons: 1.  It isn't due for another month, anyway.  2.  We can get new forms online, print them up.  3.  We can always call and ASK. 

As you can see, a challenging day.  More cursing and shouting, and a very unkind thought on my part "Why don't you go pass out!" 

Trust me, 99% of the time I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.  I want to be alone.  I want to be with a loving cat, and that's it.  I am tired of stepping through all the broken hopes and dreams of my life.  I am tired of being treated like crap; by a man who constantly disparages me. 

And I can't even say something like "I was running depressed today, so I took another lithium".  No, that triggers major rantings and ravings at God for giving him a "Broken" woman.  It sure did today.

I remind myself: God is allowing Ron to show us all who he really is, isn't he?  And it's not a very nice person.  It's a selfish person.  He will be held accountable for every word and deed. 

He really thinks this is perfectly OK way to act, because I "Have hurt him".  A lifeflight hospital helicopter just flew by, praying for the family.  He thinks if he is "hurt" then anything goes!  Scream at her, curse her.  Hate her. 

Then when he tells me he loves me I want to scoff.  I don't.  I just say OK. 

Anyway, about the vending machine.  AFTER I finished snacks, I got a stack of milk crates, a screwdriver, a flashlight, and my sense of humor.  I opened the machine.  I rested the connected coin mech on top of the stack of milk crates. 

The screwdriver did not work.  I got a knitting needle and jabbed at the jam.  I made leveraging motions; then it cleared.  I closed it all up.  "Coin Jam" error message. 

I tried to insert a coin, and heard it get stuck IN the coin mech.  I opened it up, took it off, and freed the jam; about $2 worth of quarters.  I cleared out the error message and rebooted it to make sure.  It worked.  I test vended it twice with coins, functional.  Once with a bill.  Functional.  I forgot to pay myself back the $3.  [laugh]

I talked to Ron and verified he wanted the middle row repriced at $1.  Then I programmed it. 

Then I went and got the new sodas we bought this morning, and stocked them into the vendor. 

Broken, huh?  [snort]