It was probably better

So, I had a pretty good time during the handout.  Sad but true, I know at least a couple people felt really sorry for me standing out on the corner.  That's not the sad part, it's the true part. 

This is both: it was probably better for me than being at home.  Sure, it was cold, wet, and very windy... but it was just me, God, and however many angels He sent.  We had a good time; I had my Diet Dr's. 

Now I'm at home, Ron is drunk again... he just took a huge swig off a 2 liter vodka bottle.  He thought it was "pathetic" that I saw a guy drunk at 9 AM. 

The man was pretty intoxicated, with an open can of beer.  But he stopped and I gave him some Bibles.  One for him, one for his companion.   I guess it seemed oddly familiar for me. 

Ron wanted to talk to Mom and Dad on speakerphone, and he was pretty loose.  It was rather uncomfortable for me; even more for them. 

It's very discouraging to see him like this; hard not to feel as though I have failed him.  Tomorrow morning I will talk to him and remind him I am not helping him buy alcohol.  By his standards, he doesn't have much left so I don't want him assuming I'll help. 

I saw a small, plastic, vodka bottle as I did the handout.  It was lying in the grass.  I wondered about the person who bought it and drank it; and spends their days begging for money for more alcohol. 

So many lost and tortured souls; even ones like Ron who are saved.