The Beast

Oooh.   A long day.  Got up early, went to work.  Our ride was very late and I barely got the milk delivery.  I had 5 cartons left from the last delivery; if they don't start buying more Ron will stop carrying it.  I STRONGLY suggested he cut back on the sandwich order. 

Surprise, our "new" vending machine was down.  Just a little note, if I am trying to get it to work, PLEASE do not breathe down my neck watching me.  It makes me very uncomfortable.  From what I can tell, it has a bad coin mechanism.  So much for "new". 

I called in the order; only $350 worth.  They let me do it; thank God.  The last time some guy tried to tell me "I" had a $500 minimum order.  Did all that; more work on "The Beast" as I'm calling it (new machine).  Actually made some money stocking sodas. 

Realized I was in a really VILE mood, very irritable.  I went and got some peanuts and ate them, taking a lithium.  It made me pretty stupid, but the guys didn't care.  I was just happy my mood improved and I didn't want to bite everyone.  Chuck came; we went to Favorite Dollar.  He had as much fun as I did.  Then he took us out to lunch, then we ran some errands at the wholesale place. 

Bought a lot of drinks, put them into the truck, took them out of the truck, and then stored them in the house.  We really could deduct a few bucks off the mortgage for business expense!  Hm.  Probably about $40 or so a month. 

Ron's giving Bubba his treats.  I have to go to bed in about 20 minutes, and get up at 2.  I have the delivery tomorrow.  Happily we are all on better terms at work now; one reason I'm so diligent about my medication. 

I had to remind Ron today: my medication really messes with both my short-term memory, and my audio processing.   He had been somewhat unkind, but apologized on his own.  I did not beat him over the head with his mistake, even though I was getting awfully cranky. 

They say bipolar cycles are very similar to seizures, quiet parts of the brain light up; and active parts go quiet, when someone's cycling.  I believe it.  I know my moods can come on very suddenly; like a thunderstorm, or a gradual slow creep that remains unnoticed for probably too long.   Today was more of a thunderstorm, but I whacked it. 

I'm just pretty foggy from that extra lithium.  If anything happened to Ron or the business I would have no problem filing for disability; I really can't work like a normal person.  I could have some little part time thing; but not enough to support myself. 

It's worth it.