Friday, December 24, 2010

I need a break from the wrapping!

Ha!  I really thought it wouldn't be "much different" to wrap a Bible.  I am used to sticking tracts in them and maybe marking a relevant Bible verse or two... but wrapping it in tissue paper, putting it into a printed cellophane bag, dropping in a couple of mini candy canes, and twisting it shut... well, I've been at it for hours. 

I didn't sleep well, but got up around 3.  We had a trip to Foodtown.  Well, we did... but the driver had to drop off the other client.  At a gas station.  Miles in the other direction.  At 6 AM on Christmas eve.  She was not an employee.  Huh! 

By the time we got to Foodtown, our OTHER ride was already there.  I ran in, got some sausage, a couple of pounds of ground beef on sale (it looked nice and red), and what appeared to be three, 6-packs of bottled Diet Dr Pepper.  Imagine my shock when one of them turned out to be regular!  I put that back! 

I could see the cab already outside, so I just paid and left.  We went home, put up the groceries.  I bagged up candy; expected it to be busy... because we were going to Walmart. 

People mistaking Ron for my father have apparently shamed him into wearing his wedding ring again.  I am not very observant; I didn't even notice he'd taken it off.   Anyway, he says it fits fine "now" and made a bunch of jokes about PMS making his hands swell. 

Well.  I think everyone looks at their wedding ring now and then, and feels like it doesn't really "fit".  Hey, I keep my vows. 

So, I never did hear back from that grocery store.  It is highly depressing to think they don't want me, even to work nights.  If God wants me "here", I'm here.. but it's hard not to feel worthless and useless when I can't get on as a night-shift stocker.  If God has another job for me, I feel like it is "better".  But, still.  [sigh]

It's Christmas eve!  I'm supposed to be eubillent.  I wish. 

So, we went to Walmart.  We had plenty of time, so I tried on sweats.  I was happy to see I am a Large.  Right now I am a solid size 14.  Ron said a couple of times he didn't "mind" if I lost more weight and got down to a "Small, like you used to be when we met." 

I told him, I was never a small.  I have always been a medium.  Oh, then I could get down to a medium, then.  I decided not to do the middle-aged metabolism lecture, or remind him that lithium causes weight gain.  Or the fact that dealing with his drinking is a huge burden on me and I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH JUICE LEFT TO FOCUS ON A WEIGHT LOSS PROGRAM!  

I just assured him I wouldn't get "bigger".  I came up with a new word.  GLACK.  Good word. 

The last time we went to Walmart he bought a margarita mixer - with the alcohol in it.  "For the repairman".  He had bought a single serving size and the guy liked it, so he decided he'd buy a larger size as a Christmas present. 

4 hours later, Ron got into it.  He talked about how he wanted to buy another one, because he felt guilty.  I told him, he should, and said it made him look like a major alcoholic.  He agreed. 

I am using the word alcoholic.  He doesn't admit he is one, but he does not deny it either.  I'm not name calling, but I will say "It made you look like an alcoholic when you drank it 4 hours after buying it for someone else".  He said he wanted to buy another one, for the repairman. 

I told him, fine.  When we got home I gave it to him and said "I don't want to take care of this".  He can fight those battles on his own, without dragging me into it.  I'm not going to hide alcohol from him. 

He got annoyed, but I said "I didn't buy it, it's not mine."  I feel like he really wants me to endorse his drinking. 

I really needed to get this out of my system.  So, I got myself 2 pairs of sweatpants ($5 each).  I don't really like sweatshirts.  I like a tshirt and a hooded sweatshirt. 

I got some foam bowls, because I (later) got my favorite sugarfree peanut butter icecream.  It makes me gassy, but I sleep alone and I'll be out in the nature during the handout.  Cat food, etc.  I spent about $20 I think.  I got the six pack of Diet Dr Pepper I hadn't bought earlier at Foodtown, and about the only individually wrapped candy available; taffy. 

Ron got a new belt, etc.  It took a while to check out, but we did.  We had a good ride home, too. 

Ron got rather an odd call from a former room-mate.  They talk every several months.  Anyway, the guy called and said he'd like to come over. 

It was "after 12", so Ron isn't a drunk.  He can drink after 12, and TRIES to have a drink every couple of hours... but his friend, whom I've never met, was coming over.  I was wrapping up Bibles, and continued to do so (still have about 30 to go).  They went outside and talked for a while. 

Ron kept offering the guy alcohol, and he kept refusing.  Apparently Ron is an alcoholic if he drinks, and the visitor doesn't.  He didn't drink. 

After the guy left, Ron slammed down enough to get pretty trashed.  Why do I say this?  He was so drunk he tried to eat the raw sausage in the fridge.  Then couldn't open a ziplock. 

When I got to a stopping point, I helped, but it was obvious I was fairly annoyed.  He went muttering off to his room. 

When the cat came home, soaking wet, a little while ago I checked on Ron, and he's snoring away. 

The cold front came in.  It began to pour, we had a squall line and it's still raining.  From what I hear, it won't rain tomorrow, but the ground will be wet.  We've had a pretty nasty drought the last little bit. 

I plan to finish up the Bibles, lay everything out for tomorrow, take my shower, God Time, and bed. 

Merry Christmas, Heather! 

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