He got worse

Whenever someone says "I have good news and bad news, which do you want to hear first?"  I ALWAYS say Bad news.  I'd rather end on a positive note.  So that's what I'll do today! 

Ron is getting worse.  He is having a lot more difficulty standing up and walking.  He moves a lot slower.  So, we're seeing his doctor.  Hopefully she will just say "Exercise more" or "You're just getting old" - a favorite line from Ron's favorite doc. 

I got rather impatient with him the other day and said "Dude, you move slower than my Dad!"  Well, Dad goes for miles long walks... so yeah.  Dad's pretty spry, and my husband isn't!

[shrug]  If he can't improve, I'm not sure how it will affect us.  More use of the wheelchair?  That's about the worst case as I see it.  On a positive note, using a wheelchair guarantees he won't be crammed in the backseat of a cab, against an overlarge person with bathing issues, either. I'm always looking up!


We already tried a walker several years ago.  Oh, just remembering that is enough to get me slapping my leg again and shaking my head.  Ron had a stroke.  His right side is weak; so he will ALWAYS veer to the right, into the wall.  Every 2 feet or so.  [clutching head in hands]  Yeah.  Then I have to drag the walker out and line it up again, as he shoves it into the wall again.  We figured out "right quick" it was far easier for him to use me as his walker; leaning heavily on my right shoulder as I balanced and guided him at the same time. 

I'm glad I'm young, healthy, and strong.  Physical assistance is no big deal.  I enjoy helping him. 

Now I know how Ron feels when he knows I'm depressed.  It's awful to watch someone you love hurting. 

I have decided, speaking of depression, to increase my Wellbutrin.  Doc said 1-2 tablets a day.  Normally I take 1.  Today I was getting muched by a nasty depression, took another tablet, was OK.  This has happened with some frequency recently.  So, for now, I'll just take 2.  If I start getting manic I'll go down. 

I like getting under my "mood" hood and tinkering.  I like being aware of my moods and adjusting my lifestyle and medication as needed. 

By the way, I have prayed quite a bit about the neighor dog situation.  As you know, the dog destroys the fence, gets into our yard, runs wild in the neighborhood, and barks all night long. 

In fact, when we came home today guess who was in the yard?  I ran her off and secured the gate with the BOTTOM latch.  She apparently got out on the other side of the yard, by the street, then came around and squirmed through the bottom of the gate, into our yard.  Just in case, I double checked all my many patches (over 50 feet of shared, old, wooden fence), and braced a few patch boards that might have provided an entry point. 

About a week ago it suddenly occured to me: (30 years ago) when Ron was dating a woman with a guide dog, the training school told her: "If you leave the dog alone in your apartment, turn on a radio.  They find it soothing." 

What the heck, I thought, why not?  It won't hurt, and it might help with the endless nighttime barking.  Imagine my shock when it WORKED.  It's not foolproof, but the only time she's gone "nuts" was when the battery died or the volume was too low (I did it instead of Ron because he was asleep).  I was happy. 

She's not a bad dog, but I don't think these people will be living there long.  They have a stuffed trash can full of trash just sitting in the yard, been there for weeks.  The trash company won't take it because it's not in the proper receptacle (of which they have 3!).  They are throwing other trash items on the grass now.  In the FRONT yard. 

The homeowners take great pride in the home, and I have heard them yelling at tenants on multiple occasions.  They have already yelled at these tenants because they weren't mowing the yard. 

On the one hand, they are pretty quiet (not counting the dog), mannerly (not counting the dog and refusing to repair the dog damage to the fence - even when Ron gave them wood), and the kids stay out of my yard.  No dramas. 

I have a horrible suspicion, the next tenants will be worse in some other way.  Noise all night?  Parking in front of the house?  Cat haters?  This is where I have to remind myself  we belong to God, God will care for us, and these experiences test me and refine my faith.  Am I going to be a hater?  Or pray for them during my God Time?  Am I going around brooding all the time, or simply handing the issue to God and saying "If it's Your will, please resolve this!"?   So, whatever happens is God's Will. 

However, cleanliness is a big issue for the owners; I don't see them there long.  I am beginning to see why Bubba's bringing me so many dead mice.  Huh.  If the owner's wife didn't hate all pets (which could move dramatically in our favor regarding the dog), I'd tell them, but I don't want to remind her I have a cat she's already threatened to kill. 

Yeah.  That's why I'm not in a hurry to get rid of them.  Pick up, get rid of the dog, happy happy.  Ha!   And I ALWAYS get what I want, don't I?  [laugh] 

We got up EARLY and went to Foodtown.  They started opening earlier, and I love it.  We get good trips, too. 

Ron is in love with the remaindered Hormel Kids Kitchen lunch buckets.  It's an 8 ounce microwavable bucket full of pasta and meat.  Ron is particularly fond of the Beans & Wieners, and the Spaghetti Rings with Hot Dogs.  They are remaindered, meaning they are selling them at rock bottom prices to get rid of them.  We're paying 50 cents each, about half off what you'd pay for the other brand canned pasta meals. 

I took 2 tote bags, large ones (11x14x18 inches).  I filled up one with Ron's pasta meals.  He is set.  If I get sick or something, he can eat for days.  Boy, was it heavy.  I didn't tell him that, it would have just made him feel guilty; it's not like it hurt me. 

I got a little bit of stuff, some ham ends (I've been in a ham mood), and some sharp cheddar cheese.  I got some Diet Dr Pepper and such.  I also bought myself some smoked almonds. 

I don't know how it happened, but our ride came before I'd bagged up the candy.  I had Bibles and scripture booklets in empty plastic bags.  I felt horrible.  The first driver (to Foodtown) didn't want any candy anyway. 

While at Foodtown, I bought a bag of "Fun Size" Snickers, a bag of "Child's Play" assorted wrapped candy - OK but not something I will buy again, and 5 Lance bars.  They have 3 kinds of nuts in them, are new, and look DELICIOUS.  Everyone was really excited to get them.  I put them in the gallon bag with the Bibles.  They looked GOOD.  I might keep doing this. 

I carry a fair amount of Lance foods in our snack machines.  The Gold n Cheese are very popular.  I am addicted to their 2.5 ounce smoked almonds.  Yum.  I ALWAYS get a bag everytime I go to Foodtown.  It's a real treat, and low carb.  Joy! 

Hey, I need to take care of myself, and I'm glad I can do it with a simple thing like a bag of almonds.  I bagged up my candy as we waited on the ride.  Ron admired the Lance nut bars.  Good thing sugar still tastes awful to him. 

We had an interesting ride to work; she was a new driver and it showed.  Hey, we got there intact. 

Work was pretty dead.  I got the wheelchair and brought it to Ron - he can't walk all the way in or out anymore.  Well, he might but it would be extremely taxing.  That's why I want a medical opinion.  Do we push him?  Take it easy?  We shall see. 

We stocked what we could and cleaned out the coffee machine!  Then I mashed up cardboard and took out all the trash, including about 20 gallon's worth of used coffee grounds.  We gave free coffee to the veterans.  I didn't feel too bad for them working today, as they got overtime. 

As you are probably aware, the Post Office employees have a bad reputation for being lazy.  Overall,  not true.  They work their butts off.  They work overtime, and work very hard. 

One reason I don't feel too "hatey" when I see the employee who ran over my husband; he is always laboring very hard over his machine, putting trays of mail onto the conveyor belt.  He is obviously earning every penny he makes. 

I won't guess percentages because I am an outsider; but it is very sad to see people in one department.  They stand around and gossip ALL DAY LONG.  We got some new people in the department; since they are temporary employees they don't get overtime today.  A lot of "Casuals" today. 

EVERY SINGLE one, standing around and gossiping all day long.  When I came in, and when I left hours later.  Still at the same task.  [sigh]  No one takes pride in a good job anymore! 

BTW, the neighbors just came home, and another woman was telling her "Your dog almost got hit by a car, she was way off over there on the busy street!"  Mom didn't seem to concerned.  [shrug]  Their problem, not mine. 

The more time I spend with dogs, the more I realize I'm a cat person.  I'm not knocking dogs.  They seem very loyal and devoted to their owners.  They are very predictable, too. 

I just prefer a cat.  Sure, it sees itself as the more intelligent animal; but he condescends to allow MY petting!   Very few people are permitted the honor.  He sleeps in MY bed, none other.  He doesn't even sleep with Ron.  He even leans up against me once I've fallen asleep.  He'll never get up in my lap, and I only call him when I have a tidbit, but I'm OK with that.  He loves to get up on the loveseat as I do my God Time.  He is very undemanding; just fill up the water and the food bowl, he uses the cat door to eliminate in the backyard. 

I will never grow a root vegetable as a result!  No, thanks! 

Getting back to work; it is hard to fire the long-term employees, but getting easier I hear.  So, if they're caught "lazy" they will be kicked out.  Everytime we have "Casual Interviews" at work we see dozens of very motivated people.  Nervous people who like to buy a snack on the way out the door!  [grin]  Yeee-haw. 

That would have been a good company name.  Yee-haw vending.  Too easy to find us if I give you our name, so I won't. 

I took Ron out to the bus stop, and he was very grateful.  Then I brought the work wheelchair back to the stockroom and locked up. 

Just a quick note, I don't know how to say this, or even if I'm JUSTIFIED.  You can judge for yourself. 

I HATE it when Ron is riding in the wheelchair, and a driver pulls up.  They get out, see Ron in the wheelchair, and start going on about "What happened!  What happened?  Why are you in the wheelchair?"  They are genuinely upset.  "This is terrible!" 

Ron is people skills; I leave it to him to reply.  "He got worse"?  True, and short.  "YOU think it sucks?  Try being his wife!"  Not kind, and very bitter.  I just give a sad little shrug as Ron tells the tale of the nerve disease.  It's just EXTREMELY uncomfortable.  [sigh]  And awkward. 

In the big photo, it's NOT important.  I'm just not sure of the etiquette of "He got worse".  Like Dad always used to say "If you can't say something nice, don't say it at all!"  Good advice, Dad. 

Ron was signing along with his music when I came out.  I found that very encouraging.  He is a pretty positive person. 

Next stop, the wholesale warehouse.  That is a lot to type, I'm calling it WW from now on. 

We went about lunchtime.  They sell lunch; and last time they had a horrendous line.  The line was short today so I got the food first (not customary).  I ate the rest of my cottage cheese and the top of a pepperoni pizza.  Tasty. 

I need more Party Mix.  I always need Party Mix.  If you want to give me a good in-person gift; Party Mix only runs about $7.   Less than a dollar a pound and the best deal I have found on desirable candy.  I looked around at various other candy items; asking God for guidance.  I have Dum-dums, and plenty.  Gum is not urgent, and cheaper at Walmart.  It's still too warm for me to feel comfortable with the chocolate, and I think it's the Lance Mixed Nuts bar... they didn't have them, or I'd have bought some. 

I plan to go to Favorite Dollar tomorrow, more on that in a bit.  They will supply the zip-top bags I need.  I ordered some more Gospels of John from the Pocket Testament League.  Plan to order some more Scripture booklets after I finish the blog. 

The only thing I got were some Detour lower sugar protein bars.  Sounds vile, but they are really really good.  As I was eating it today I considered the descriptive phrases I'd use.  Densely chewy.  Excellent texture.  Fantastic candy bar flavor.  Lower sugar and better flavor than the Atkins Low Carb bars.  Which are not very low-carb.  I ate mine around 1 PM and I'm still full.  They only ran about 75 cents a bar, too.  I can see myself eating ONE a day, if that. 

I want to put real food in my mouth most of the time.  I still need to figure out what I'll eat for dinner.  Oh, and I bought a case of Diet Dr Pepper.  I didn't want to get that at Foodtown and lug it around all day (remember I am still toting the giant tote bag full of Ron's canned pasta and several cans of Heather items).   Ron decided he wanted FOUR cases of juice boxes.  Yike.  Amazingly, they let us ride home. 

The juice boxes ("My" idea for the glory grabbers) have been tremendously popular.  Unlike the canned juices we offer for $1, for 12 ounces, these are 100% juice.  The only all juice canned item we carry are the orange juices.  We sell the 7 ounce juice boxes for 50 cents, a comfortable profit margin, and people love them.  In fact, everytime we stock the row is either empty, or nearly so.  Excellent.  We need more inventory; so I didn't complain. 

1 tote bag with canned food items.
1 small lunchbox size "insulated cold bag" for the ham and sharp cheddar cheese I bought.
1 case Diet Dr Pepper in another tote bag
4 cases juice. 
My backpack
I got it all! 

Happily, my foot cramp problem seems to have resolved.  Good. 

I think I will do pumpkin pudding for dinner tonight.  It's got eggs, and pumpkin.  Get a meat and veggie all in one. 

We came home, and found "Stupid" the dog in our backyard.  I got rid of her and locked the gate.  I don't know why the people next door even have a dog.  I think they got her as a cute little puppy for the kids.  Now she is full grown and mischievous.  They don't have any shelter, or even a blanket in the yard.  She seems to have enough food and water.  [shrug]

I'm sure she won't bark much tonight, running around all day ought to have tired her out.  We will put out the radio. 

Ron and I planned out tomorrow.  First, doc.  Then a trip to Walmart, in case Doc writes a prescription that needs filling.  After Walmart, Favorite Dollar. 

I am participating in a child's Christmas program, so I need some fun toys to fill up a shoebox.  Favorite always has a good collection of kiddie toys, cute stuffed animals and all.  I always liked a lot of cheap toys, anyway. 

I remember how much I loved my rubber food.  I must have been about 8.  It was plastic food.  I could "cook" it on a little toy stove and serve it to family, who pretended to "eat" my yummy food.  [laugh]  Good practice for the foodservice days!  I think Mom liked it a lot better than the whistles!

Anyway, I'll ask God to guide me as I look around Walmart and Favorite for amusing toys.  I might put a handful or two of candy in, too.  Saturday I drop them off.  Then we go home. 

Ron's a great sport to wait around while I shop.  He will save me lots of walking, waiting and a couple of bus rides too.  He loves me and likes to show it by doing things like this. 

And I remind him "I like taking care of you!"  I just hope we get some accurate answers tomorrow.  Can't hurt to pray about it.  If you pray, ask God for an accurate diagnosis. 

I am always BIG on that whenever Ron is ailing.