Strapped

I am cycling depressed.  I had a wonderful cuddle with Bubba-cat last night and this morning.  Before I left the house, I wisely took an additional 1/2 Wellbutrin (I can take UP TO 3 tablets a day, but usually only take one, 2 if necessary).  It is a lot easier to manage the moods when they start, rather than waiting until it's really bad. 

I was proud of myself for taking it, even to myself it is hard to admit "I need extra help today, I can't manage this mood."  However, I think that's the difference between a bipolar sufferer who suffers, and a bipolar person with a pretty good life.  Why suffer?  The medication is right there on the table, waiting to help. 

My pain was compounded by the fact that Ron was having a very painful morning.  It is ghastly to watch. 

For some reason, I felt led to bring my hand cart and extra bungee cords.  I also pared down my "junk" to pretty manageable levels.  I did up a stack of New Testaments and about a dozen bags of candy, too.  I prayed and asked God for help (an extra request), I needed encouragement and I also needed distraction.  I "needed" to run some errands, too. 

I went to the grocery store with the bank outlet.  I made my deposit (World Missionary Press is having some lean times, so I want to give them a little extra), and viewed the soda.  Happily, they had the Diet Dr Pepper 6-packs.  I bought one and recalled my love of the Diet Coke with Lime - funny story on that later. 

I brought my "Where to Look in the New Testament" masters, and a good book.  I needed to run off copies.  Firstly, I got my soda. 

Ron called.   The soda machine will be delivered to the bookstore Tuesday, and I needed to notify them.  Ron is offering a very reasonable price of 50 cents a can.  I could tell he was still hurting. 

I wore my terrycloth headband, because I always sweat when I take Wellbutrin.  It's a very tiny price to pay.  Sure enough, I was glad I had it. 

I rolled off to the bus stop.  Waited a long while.  All the drivers liked their candy.  When the bus came, I rode with 2 adorable babies.  One, I thought, probably looked a lot like my child with Ron. 

If Ron and I had children, the babies would have had a similar appearance.  The mother had a complexion about like Ron's, and the father was obviously "White".  The child was very light skinned, with features from both races.  Adorable. 

I do believe God will show me how my children would have looked.  I had some times when I could have been pregnant, too.  Who knows?  Maybe I have a few waiting in Heaven.  Anyway, I enjoyed the babies. 

I got off and rolled over to the Christian bookstore.  "Heather!  Your Bibles arrived!"  Yay! 

I looked around but just bought the Bibles.  They put TWO cases on my cart.  As I strapped everything in, I was so glad I'd brought my cart, my bungee "ropes", and had enough money for cab fare should I need it. 

I felt I did a good job of taking care of myself, I spent time with enjoyable people, ran my errands, bought myself my favorite diet sodas, and.... [continued]

Fully "strapped" (which is also gang slang for carrying a gun), I rolled off, using my "new" shortcut.  I could not have carried the cart over any grass! 

I rolled off to the bus stop, missed a bus.  Drat.  Some "operator" was putting the moves on another woman, who quite obviously had FAS.  I wanted to slap him, instead, I prayed.  Happily, "Our" bus came and he wasn't riding. 

I had an interesting time lugging the cart onto the bus, but managed.  The wheelchair lift was broken.  Boy, was I glad I could walk.  I don't take my body for granted, ever.  Living with Ron has given me a great appreciation for a healthy body.  Had the wheelchair lift been working, I could have simply rolled on, instead of the hoist/carry. 

I was feeling like myself again.  I gave the driver his candy and told him he had my "driver of the year" award.  I got off and told the other Christian bookstore about the soda machine.  They were happy to hear it. 

I poked around but didn't buy anything.  I headed over to the office supply store and ran off 100 copies of Where to Look in the New Testament".  I teased the copy guys "I would have taken a break when I saw me coming!"  Candy all around, including the store manager - she was thrilled.  I also made sure to compliment my copy guys. 

Read the book for a bit while they ran off copies, and then off to Favorite Dollar.  By now, I am certain I am taking a cab home.  You may recall the last time I did that was about 4 months ago, when the heat made me really sick.  I might have been able to get home with 2 big cases of Bibles, and a plastic milk crate on the hand cart, plus my backpack, but why bother?  Besides, the Yellow cab could use the business. 

Sadly, they were out of "Exploding Candy", another store manager, another bag of candy!  I'm getting pretty good at this!  I got some of the nice assorted mix and some Bubblegum pops.  I called Ron, he didn't want anything. 

"Since I'm taking a cab home, do you want me to get you some fried chicken?"  He was thrilled. 

I rolled off to Starbucks and got my usual.  I ate some peanuts, called Ron, and waited on my cab.  I didn't watch the clock, it took a little while but it was a lot easier than trying to get my cart on and off a couple of buses!  I only take a couple of cabs a year, I decided to enjoy the process. 

The cab came, it was a guy we know.  Good!  When we went through the drive-through I insisted the driver get something to eat.  He did, I paid, and we went home.  He got a $5 tip, which I was happy to give.  He was a big help with the handcart. 

Ron tore into his chicken like a starving man.  He loved every bite.  Bubba was lurking around (Bubba's Daddy once mugged Ron for some fried chicken, right after Ron's accident), so I gave him a can of that horrible smelly cat food.  He was thrilled. 

Ron and the cat bore a remarkable resemblence to each other, as they ate.  They both have green eyes, and whiskers. 

Ron is feeling a lot better, happy and relaxed in bed with his new book.  I'm home, with all my stuff. 

Tomorrow we run to the warehouse, work, and home.  Then a surprise lunch date somewhere affordable.  I think Burger King.