Chinese Spam

I don't know why spammers are leaving messages in Chinese.  I don't get that.  I've gotten the rare message I'd term "hateful", a few "private" messages,   It's always the same blog entry, too, "More Dog Drama".  I am not putting up something I don't understand, unless it is someone I trust. 

Speaking of Chinese, I got some Beef Chow Fun today.  More on that later. 

Not an easy morning, getting my butt chomped by depression.  Ugly, ugly, battles.  I ended up taking another Wellbutrin (Doc and I have a range of medication, I normally take one, but can take up to 3 Wellbutrin a day), which did help significantly. 

First, though, I had a LOVELY early morning wakeup [end sarcasm].  I did a good zombie impression.  I just felt so overwhelmed, exhausted, and frustrated.  Ron had no idea.  I'm still battling it to some degree, I was almost at the point of tears at several points in the day. 

I tell you, when God is ready to take me out of this body, I am READY to go!  I realized today, my life is pretty hard!  I have the brain damage and the mental illness, and then let's go look at my husband!  Blind, alcoholic, partially paralyzed, nerve disease, partially deaf, he can be pretty demanding, impulsive, and verbally abusive.  I never feel like I'm "Off the clock" caring for him, unless I am out of the house and away from him; even then he's liable to call. 

Just now he kept talking and talking about the printer and how the paper tray is different.  I didn't understand, but I got up and stood there as he went "See, I thought this piece did this, and that piece went there, but the paper didn't fit."  I put his hand on the guides and said "The paper goes between this, this, and these."  He talked some more - [waving hands as I shrug]  I didn't get a damned word of it... but he was happy when I walked away. 

It's perfectly normal to feel overwhelmed!  I just need to hang on to Jesus and trust Him to carry me through; like he has for the last 23 years.  [shudder]  But the thought of another 20 to 50 years just makes me cringe. 

Yike. 

So, I went to the warehouse.  We rode with a nice Sudanese lady.  She immigrated in her teens.  Nice lady, excellent driver.  I like to see her in the driveway. 

We got some juice drinks, including some juice boxes we can sell for 50 cents.  They are 100% juice so I can sleep at night!  I hate selling stuff that I know will ruin people's health.   They already showed some popularity as we left. 

We went to work, chilled the juice, and stocked them.  Problems with a snack machine, I had to turn it off.  Happily, we have more than one.  I stocked sodas, food, and snacks.  I organized the stockroom (supervisor visit on Monday), and took out the big rolling dumpster.  Ah, the glamourous life of the self-employed!  I got a lot done. 

I took the extra Wellbutrin at work, told Ron I was still battling some depression.  He actually responded well.  A lot of times he will start raging at God.  He said something supportive that wasn't a cliche.  Thank you, Ron. 

Went home.  Handed out lots of candy on the way, other passengers, the guy by the road holding a sign for a cash advance store.  The driver of course. 

Decided to get Chinese food.  They rang it up wrong and sent beef fried rice instead of Chow Fun.  They fixed it.  More candy handed out to the driver - with Chinese scripture booklets (they really are from China).  Ate the whole thing, very good. 

Now I'm listening to my tunes and watching NCIS reruns.  Not a bad show.  Better than Saw!