Sometimes I tell God what to do.

First thing, I got your message, H.! You were right; I check everything before I approve it. Otherwise we'd get spammed.

Back to my original statement, sometimes I tell God what to do. Sometimes, what He asks me to do seems to POINTLESS I just have to wonder WHY? Ron's a big one for Why? Why? Why? I can understand, he carries a very heavy burden. But, I do it too.

Generally, I do whatever it is I"m asked, but many times I feel like it's "pointless". Last night, I had a very strong compulsion to put together two little tract "Goodie bags", about a dozen assorted tracts plus a few scripture booklets. Not one bag, but two. I was pretty excited. I met a really enthusiastic believer recently, who told me "I used to hand out tracts". I am DYING to share my "guys" with her, she can get all the wonderful material she wants for free. I think she could do a lot for Jesus and His Kingdom if she just knew where to ask for material. I was really excited, thinking about the exciting conversation we could have and her joy at discovering World Missionary Press and Grace & Truth (see links to right). Her parting words, the last time we met, "Keep handing out them Bibles, Girl!"

Today's a good example. Riding to work, I met a very chatty diabetic who is not doing well. I shared a little about my faith and she seemed agreeable. I felt an absolute DEMAND to give her a tract goodie bag. I told her, I'd love to give you some tracts. What? This very nice woman, almost 50 years old, probably goes to church every week, DIDN'T KNOW WHAT A TRACT WAS! Here's a link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tract_(literature (hint, you want "religious" definition).

She took the plastic sandwich bag with the tracts, as I explained "It's a little book about how to find Jesus and get saved." Then she said something even more frightening "Oh, I believe in God. I know I'm going to heaven."

THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS! The Bible says that even the DEMONS believe in God, and tremble! (James 2:19) Only one thing gets you into heaven. 1. Admit you fall short of God's standard - we all do. We all sin. We choose to violate God's law. 2. Ask God to forgive you for the sins, knowing that Jesus died on the cross for your sins, and everyone else's. He would have died JUST for you, if you were the only person on the earth. It's hard to comprehend that kind of love. 3. Ask Jesus into your heart, and ask Him to mold you into the person He wants you to be. He will really surprise you. Antisocial Heather, handing out tracts? I used to be afraid of everyone, now I walk up to scary looking strangers without fear, handing them "religious material". That's it. Belief in God is great, but it won't get you into heaven.

I hope I was wrong. I hope she really meant "I am 'saved' (see 3 steps above)" I hope she is not attending church, and that's why she has never heard of a tract. A tract, in my humble opinion, is an important tool for reaching people with the word of God.

Here's a copy of a tract by Grace and Truth - their Winning Souls with Tracts, tract. Italics are mine.
"Can we think of the doom that awaits an ungodly world and not weep? If Jesus wept over one city, shouldn’t we have compassion for a whole world that lies in wickedness and is rushing to judgement? Shouldn’t we use every opportunity to warn unbelievers and earnestly persuade them, as Paul did, to be reconciled to God?

Is it possible to selfishly enjoy our own security and leave the Father’s love and grace unproclaimed, not warning sinners of impending judgement? Scripture exhorts that, ‘He who turns a sinner from the error of his way will save a soul from death’, Jas. 5. 20 NKJV. God expects us to carry the seed of the gospel to others, and even holds us responsible, see Ezek. 3. 18, 20. May we be stirred to pray, watch and labour for Christ and for souls!

Sowing the seed
Anyone may spread the good news of Christ by the distribution of printed
tracts. A Christian who does not habitually use sound, scripturally-based tracts
is constantly missing wonderful opportunities of increasing his usefulness
toward men and his fruitfulness toward God.

Tracts can be tactfully given to fellow-workers or travellers, enclosed
in letters and invoices and left on counters, seats and windscreens. They can be
displayed on bulletin boards, inserted in newspapers, magazines and books.
Tracts can be distributed at parades, fairs, and other public events where
permitted.

Do you know a less expensive method of spreading the gospel of Christ?
Many tracts are free while others can be purchased for a few pence apiece. Do
you know of a surer way of ‘sowing bountifully ‘ and also ‘reaping bountifully’?

Results of sowing
There are those who object to tract work because they have seen discarded
tracts on the sidewalks. True, some tracts may be wasted, but the work is
abundantly worthwhile, even if some are thrown away, Luke 8. 5-8. Then again, a
tract on the ground is not necessarily wasted. A man from New Jersey, while
walking to work one morning, picked up a wet, dirty tract from the sidewalk. ‘As
I read it’, he wrote to the address on the piece he had picked up, ‘I thought of
ten persons to whom I would like to give a copy. Would you please send me some
extra copies?’

That discarded tract of itself led to an increased circulation.
Another person may say, ‘I saw tracts torn to pieces and scattered by the wind’.
This maybe the case for a few but do not think the tract distributor’s effort
was wasted. It was not! A man wrote in to say he had found part of a tract, but
the title was missing. ‘There was enough left to show me my condition, my
Saviour, and where I could get more literature. So I am asking you for samples
of your literature, as I would love to read the missing part of this tract.’ Can
you believe that?

The life is in the seed
Do we realize the extraordinary dynamic of the printed page? Dr. Goodell,
of the American Board of Missions, when passing through Nicodemia in 1832, gave
a stranger a tract in the Armenian-Turkish language. Seventeen years later he
returned to Nicodemia, and found a church of more than forty members and a
Protestant community of more than two hundred, all from the seed sown by the
tracts he had distributed years before.

Dr. Griffith John tells of eight churches in China resulting from
tracts alone. Sir Bartle Frere, traveling in India, was amazed to find a small
town in which the idol temples were empty, but the townsfolk professed
Christianity. Some years earlier, one of the townsfolk had been given an old
garment in the pocket of which were several tracts in their language. The rest
is history! The life is not in the sower, but in the seed!

The tract at work
The gospel tract never flinches and becomes cowardly; it is never
tempted to compromise; it neither tires nor gets discouraged; it travels
cheaply, and requires no rented auditorium; it works while we sleep; it never
loses its temper; and it works long after we are dead. The tract is a visitor
which gets inside the home and stays there; it always catches a man in the right
mood, because it speaks to him only when he is reading it; it always sticks to
what it has said and never answers back; it is bait left permanently in the
pool.

A powerful reason for using tracts is that they will reach those utterly unreached with the hope of eternal life. Someone gave copies of H. L. Hasting’s lecture on the inspiration of the Bible to four unbelievers. Not only
were all four saved, but also they all became ministers of the gospel!

No limit can be put on the possible influence of a tract. Martin Luther
wrote a pamphlet on Galatians which fell into John Bunyan’s hands and led to his
conversion. As a result, today over 135 translations of Bunyan’s famous
Pilgrim’s Progress have been published with millions being reached by its clear
gospel message. A young Frenchman wounded at the siege of Saint Quentin was
lying in the hospital when he noticed a tract on his bedside table. He read it
and was converted. Today, a monument of him holding his Bible may be seen before
the Church of the Consistory in Paris. The man’s name was Admiral Coligny, the
leader of the Reformation in France.

The tract he picked up had not finished its work for it was read by
Coligny’s nurse, a Sister of Mercy. She passed it on to Lady Abbess who also was
converted through it and later fled from France to the Palatinate. There she met
and married a young Dutchman. Her influence on that man was felt by all of
Europe, for he became William of Orange, the champion of Protestantism in the
Netherlands.

The printed page is deathless: you can destroy one, but printing
presses can reproduce millions. Its very mutilation can be its sowing. When
Leigh Richmond was once travelling, he gave a tract to every person he met. One
fellow-traveller smiled scornfully as he saw one of these tracts treated
contemptuously by the receiver, torn in two, and thrown down on the road. A gust
of wind carried it over a hedge into a hay field where a number of workers were
seated. Soon they were listening to the tract read by one of the workers who had
found it and had carefully pieced it together. The reader was moved to
reflection and prayer, and soon became an earnest Christian and tract
distributor himself. Of the other workers, three within a year had become active
Christians.

God’s power behind our efforts
Let us not forget the enormous importance of prayer in tract
distribution. We should ask God’s blessing on every tract or copy of the Holy
Scriptures that we give away, confidently expect it, and labour on prayerfully,
even though we may see little or no fruit. We should labour as if everything
depended on our labours; yet we should not put the least confidence in our
efforts but only in God’s ability to bless our effort for the sake of the Lord
Jesus.

Above all, don’t forget that every tract you give out glorifies God. It
remains a fact, whether the offer is received or rejected, that God in His
sovereign grace has extended full and eternal salvation by means of that tract
to the receiver. He can never say he was not told of God’s loving offer. "

So, even though I, personally doubt that any good will come out of those tracts and scripture booklets, IT'S NOT UP TO ME. I am not doing Heather's work. I am doing God's work. He absolutely wanted that woman to have the tracts and booklets. Maybe she will give them to her friends, talking about me. Maybe she will give one to her husband or other family member. Maybe she will sit down and actually read them for herself! It's not for me to judge. (that's James 4:12 "Who are you to judge another?") My job was accomplished, getting them into her purse! [laugh]

I guess you could say, the nice thing about being "mentally ill" - I talk about it as I share my testimony - is that anyone who's going to judge me for my relationship with Jesus has already done so when I got to "Brain damaged and bipolar". I'm prejudged. Ha. Anyway, I try to dress, groom, and carry myself in a way that I am agreeable to all. Beyond that, I could care less what others think. If they want to slap "extremist" or "Jesus freak" on me that's fine. Have a bag of candy with a tract inside!

I will be curious, to find out in the Heavenly Kingdom, what happened when I gave tracts, Bibles, and all to people I assumed wouldn't be interested or use them. I imagine they will have been the most powerful forces for Jesus!

Yesterday I handed out tracts and Bibles to bus drivers, Metrolift drivers, a busboy, a waiter, scripture booklets in the tip jar at Starbucks (under a dollar, God wanted sneaky), a drug addict, a policeman, a guy in a suit, a cashier at a gas station, a little old lady, a guy dressed up like a gang member, and others I can't recall. It's an honor to be used. God gets the glory! I am glad He can use me.

I had fun today at a restaurant, but first I need to back up a bit. I have had my eye out for those NKJV Bibles. I heard they were getting a shipment today. I checked, they had a shipment. I went in. Oh, sorry, Heather, these were preordered! I figured, while I'm here, I'll get a Streams in the Desert Devotional. They have some for $2.50. Good deal.

Yesterday, at the restaurant, I gave the waiter a New Testament and some tract-candy. He was very excited. We had the same guy today, so I gave him the devotional, and another bag of candy! He was even more thrilled. Some other employees came over to see what he had, and I started passing out tract-candy and New Testaments all around. Everyone went away happy.

God used me. He wanted "John" to have a New Testament, some tracts, and the devotional. Now he does. Now the other employees have their stuff! God could use me, because I didn't get all snotty and pitch a fit when they didn't have "My" Bibles! [excuse me while I fall down laughing, over the concept of "MY" Bibles - they all belong to God and they go exactly where He wills]

It wasn't what I wanted to do, necessarily. I wanted God to send me the nice old lady who handed out tracts, but as I type this a line comes to me from Jesus' teachings - who needs the doctor? The sick, or the well? She needed what I had. God needed me to buy what I did, and give it to that man. That was my job for the day.

It doesn't do any good to tell God what to do. It'll only annoy Him and give me a headache. I want to be USEFUL. I strive for that. If God wants me to clean a filthy toilet I'll do it in His name. If He wants me to adjust my plans and expectations, to change my standards on who is "worthy" of my tracts {rolling my eyes here}, then I will ABSOLUTELY do it. And, I'll apologize for trying to tell Him what to do.

But I'm still ready, with a baggie of Scripture booklets and tracts, to ride with that nice older lady again! Please, Lord! It would be so FUN to help get her handing out tracts again!