A busy day!

Last night I went to bed pretty early and figured, I'd see when I got up. Ron and I had made plans to meet up at a food place near the Christian bookstore. I would meet him at 2.

I woke up around 7. I hit the Bible study and prayer time. Asked God to use me today. I knew it would be a busy one. I've told you how I pray and ask God to guide me on how many Bibles to prepare, and how many bags of candy. It was about a dozen of each. I am always careful to ask God to use me; I know if I get vain and think it's MY work, He can't use me anymore.

He can only use me because I ask Him to keep me humble, obedient, and meek. Meek is the same as humble, but you get the idea. I always try to work within God's will. If I'm not, if I'm working in my will, I'm out on my own in very dangerous waters.

When I am handing out Bibles and candy in God's will; they are always receieved with great gratitude. It's like they know how much they need them! I feel like a "feeder". The few times I have handed out Bibles without clear guidance, I had some pretty scary reactions!

So, I ask God to use me for His glory. I am honored He can use me. I know if I get arrogant, proud, vain, and judgemental (my own humanity), then I'm useless! I ALWAYS ask him to keep me humble and obedient.

I staggered out of the house, almost tipping to one side from all the "stuff". I went to my favorite gas station and handed out some candy only, because she has already been given a Bible! Yay! I was hoping to find more of the NKJV $1 Bibles, if possible.

I am also on the hunt for the "good" "Read Your Bible in a Year" tract. It has an assortment of Old and New Testament for everyday. I just strongly prefer it to the other ones out there. I love to put that in the NKJV Bible with some tracts and stuff, and hand that out! No joy!

Anyway, first stop was the gas station. Plenty of soda for the day. Off to the bus. I had good connections all day. I got off and went to Starbucks, because I knew my first store wasn't open yet. I read an interesting book on Evangelism and took my medication. I had the heavy whipping cream steamer with sugarfree vanilla. I stopped getting the look a while back, when they saw me dropping pounds.

I went over to the first bookstore, just to see what they had. I found some interesting tracts, prayed about it, and was led to get some New Testaments. These little guys are very popular. People are drawn to them when I hand them out. I managed to stuff it all into my backpack.

I noticed recently I am out of my plain index cards, and running low on the "binder style" ones. I use the Binder Style to copy notes from good books, so I can "carry" several books on one pad! I write a personal note on the plain one, add some stickers, and put them in the Bibles.

I had a feeling the next store would be "fruitful" and boy was I right! I got the supplies, and felt like I gave the Bibles and candy to exactly the right people. By this point, my medication is kicking me pretty hard.

You have seen the conventional image of the brain, with all the nooks and crannies. Well, imagine all those nooks and crannies filled up with glue! That's exactly how I felt. I stumbled occasionally, and had a hard time walking a straight line. When I'm like this, I remember something Dad told me "It's a good thing you don't drive, because you wouldn't be able to on the medication!" Exactly.

So, I'm tottering across the parking lot. I can barely get one foot in front of another. I think God uses times like that to teach me to lean on Him, and keep me humble at the same time. I'm alone in the parking lot, except for some yard guys way off to one side. Anyway, I'm singing at the top of my lungs, along with my music.

"I lift my eyes unto the Lord
Where does my HELP come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
Maker of Heaven and Earth!"
(Praise You in This Storm)

I get to the end of the song. Dead silence. I also feel EYES on me. Not the paranoid "They're watching me" but "I'm being observed".

I turn around. 3 yard guys are looking at me. One of them starts to chuckle. Oh, NO. They heard me singing! I apologized, and the leader says "Oh, we didn't mind!" [chuckle]. I figured, might as well use THIS and gave them the Spanish Bible and Candies I had in my bag. They took them and we each went on our way.

I can just see it. "Hey, check her out!" [giggle] Me in my big blue coat with the shopping cart.

I handed out every Bible over the course of the day. That's ALWAYS fun, and God really seemed to fill each and every person with a spirit of gratitude! Even the ones who weren't excited were, at best, polite. Who knows, maybe they will give it to someone else who had a terrible hunger for God?

I was in pretty bad shape. I was safe to walk around but I was really messed up! Interesting; because in 2 Corintians 12:9 Jesus tells Paul "My strength is made perfect in weakness" so Paul resolves to "Let the power of Christ rest more fully on me, for when I am weak, then I am strong!"

I was pretty strong for Jesus! I thought, maybe it would help to eat. I went to Burger King and had a Heather burger (double cheeseburger, plain, add BBQ, add bacon, no bun), and a side salad with ranch. It didn't make a difference.

I wobbled off to Favorite Dollar and got more hard, wrapped, candy. I needed toothbrushes, so I got some, too! I was running kind of low on candy inventory, so I also got a pound and a half of wrapped chocolates.

People seem to respond well to "I would LOVE to give you a Bible!" I had one lady I figured would NEVER want a Bible, but I felt God leading me to offer one. When I said that to her, she was "Oh, OK!" Awesome. That was God. I'm just the hand and the smile - and the back to carry them!

A good time to thank God for a strong back! [laugh] It is!

So, I've got a backpack full of New Testaments. I have a mostly-empty bag. I have about 6 pounds of driver candy resupply. Now what? It's time for the OTHER Christian bookstore!

I like to bring them candy (both stores). Since I assume (correctly) they are all saved I dispense with the tract. I asked the manager if I could put all my "junk" off in a corner somewhere, and he was totally agreeable. I handed the cashier the bag of candy, and she went off to share it.

I overheard a great compliment. They didn't know I was looking at the tracts. She's offering them candy and they ask who brought it. She tells them, the Bible Lady (great compliment #1). The other lady goes "Oh, is that the sweet LITTLE lady who takes the bus?"

LITTLE! Me! I ate that up like a cupcake! I am 5 foot 7, so she wasn't referring to my height! That was fantastic.

No NKJV Bibles yet, but Thursday. Thursday we will be out with Chuck! (wink) I'll pray about it, the whole situation last week taught me that I need to ask God about everything I get for this "ministry".

2 words that scare me to death: Ministry and Evangelist. I never saw myself as an evangelist, and NEVER as having any kind of ministry! God had other plans! I never think of it as "Mine" - goes back to the whole pride thing. It's His, our Ours. Never "mine". I'm just the help.

I did find an insane discount on the "Streams In the Desert" devotionals. I have an older version, and I love it; it's one of my favorites, right up there with Daily Light and the "Morning and Evening" by Spurgeon. I prayed about it, and got 4. I also got one for my cab driver, I de-tagged it and put it in a bag with the Bible, and the candy. "This is for you!" "OK"

I got a few other little things, but I think that was it. I paid up, wobbled over to my stuff, detagged the cab things, and tried to collate everything. I got a good cab ride, pretty fast.

Ron had cancelled on me, because he was having a bad day for the neuropathy in his feet. He can hardly get to the bathroom. I told him, stay in bed, you gave me cab fare for this eventuality. I hate to see him suffer, but I don't take it personally. It is not a reflection on me, or my love, that he's hurting. He knows I love him and I will do whatever it takes to make him feel better; including giving him alone time.

I got home, put everything down, and checked the mail. We had a handwritten thing from the utility district. Oh no. We had some problems years ago.... I dreaded opening it. I finally did. It was a REFUND check. Apparently we overpaid by $30.

I also got an interesting newsletter. I ate again, I felt like I needed to, and took another lithium. I might have a small snack around 7 or so but not enough to hold medication. I had an excellent, one hour nap. Bubba-cat stretched on his corner of the bed and a good nap was had by all.

The nice thing about this medication cocktail (600 mg lithium, 75 mg Wellbutrin, .5 mg Risperdal daily) - I don't have the fatigue I had on the Lexapro. I could sleep 12 hours a night, take a 4 hour nap, and still be tired every day on the Lexapro. Ron comments I'm "sharper" too - in a flattering "More intelligent" sense.

Today I got my butt kicked, but that doesn't happen often. I even had an interesting church suggested to me.

Now I need to go organize my haul and see if I can get to the church on the bus. Since Ron does have plenty of Bad Days, I want to be able to get there on my own.

I can just see me, handing out Bibles on my way to church!