Thursday, March 4, 2010

So, what did I do today?

I got up really early, and hit the Bible Study and Prayer time. I can commit to that; where I couldn't commit to getting up early for anything else. No offense to the fitness types, but this is more important than a workout!

I was a little freaked out, because all my devotionals and readings had the common theme of "God helps us through our trials". I thought, what trials? Things are going OK. Oh, no. I'M GOING TO HAVE A TRIAL of some sort! Have I mentioned I can run a little paranoid? I'm still a little bug-eyed, thinking about it.

I should probably say, "But then I prayed about it and felt great". I didn't.

I'm a little twitchy, but you know what? Nothing can take me out of Jesus' arms. Nothing. I trust Him completely. At the very worst time of my life, unemployed, my beloved in ICU, facing eviction, broke, and scared to death... I threw all my burdens on Him and said "It's in Your hands. I trust You." He took care of my every need, even providing entertainment as I cared for my homebound husband without a television! He provided financial support, through a couple different forums. He provided emotional support for me. He cared for Ron, healing him gradually. He provided all the equipment I needed to care for Ron, and even provided a wonderful Social Security employee to help me to process his disability claim!

When I was absolutely out of my head insane, hearing voices, paranoid, deluded, an absolutely pathetic wretch... I threw myself on Him again. God provided someone to help me find my doctor. He led me to my doctor, and put the right medications into Doc's head, restoring my mind.

To paraphrase MANY passages in the Bible - I will not be moved! I'm standing on the Rock. The Lord is my helper, I will not fear. What can MAN do to me?

Oh, he could send me to Jesus! AWESOME. That would only happen if God willed it.

So, I feel pretty good. I went to work. Turns out our driver is related to an employee at the plant! Good thing I only say nice things! I gave her one of those devotionals I mentioned. I had also finished copying my favorite quotes out of the George Muller biography. God laid it on me to give her that, too, but not a Bible. OK. I hope she enjoys them, or facilitates getting them to their destination!

I was glad I had lost the weight, crammed in the backseat with Ron and someone else. It would have been miserable Before. Ron has confided he used to get angry at me, in situations like that "Sorry my wife is so fat!" He was kind enough to -mostly- hide it.

Went to work, stuffed ALL the candy in the machines. I am thrilled with the machines - they looked great - nice and full of tempting delicacies. I really enjoy my work, I am so blessed. I don't really feel like God wants me putting anything out in "The Box" at work, so I'm just toting around my hand-out Bibles. I use the "Invitation" New Testaments from the Bibles link to the right. They are about 3x5 inches, very easy to tote around in my bag. A "good" day for me would entail handing out at least a few.

Waited on the milk delivery. Waited some more. No milk. Sorry, can't do it today. Ron was displeased; when he called the company, the manager even more so! I suggested, since we come in on every Monday - why not get the milk Monday? The manager likes it; the driver even more so. Yay!

We're working tomorrow, so I can do chips. Chips are pretty slow, but the stuff with a good food cost is moving. This is generally a slow time of year, but God is generous and we don't need much.

Chuck met us after work to run errands and have lunch. First stop, Walmart. Out of Lithium. Out of all the medications to run out of - mood stablizer? AGH. And they didn't say anything when Ron called in the refill. They offered me three tablets. Three. Uh, no thanks. I have a few at home. It gets better. They were also out of my antidepressant. Again, I'm not OUT. I take a low-dose, Doc wrote it for 2 a day and I only need 1, but still! What if I didn't have any? Oh, there's those threee tablets again [putting my head in my hands as I shake with laughter]. Oh, boy. Ron did get his Neurontin. He would be miserable without that, and probably have seizures too. Happily, I don't have to have a psychotic break because they had my antipsychotic. I told the clerk, it's a good thing (as she hides the candy bag below the counter), because the last time I stopped taking these I saw flying saucers! In my bedroom! [wheezing laughter]

One time some nosy creep came up behind me as I was discussing my medications, and freaked out when I said "I'd have to be in bad shape if I needed this much lithium to get me through a month!" - as I checked the 3-month-refill bottle. He got all bug-eyed. Well, that's what you get for EAVESDROPPING. Nosy. Good thing I am not ashamed of my illness. It was a rather spectacular bottle of lithium, 270 count. These days that would last me, 4 months. I actually sat at the kitchen table during Hurricane Ike, the cat lying down nearby, looking at my megapills and saying "Well, no matter what happens I won't go nuts". Yup. Very consoling; I won't suffer like that ever again.

So, we ran a couple of little errands, tried to get "MY" Bibles, (see next post), that didn't happen. Then we went out to lunch. Everyone agreed it was delicious and it was a very affordable meal. Home! Yay!

I got a missionary newsletter. I'm glad I don't have a lot of money - it would be very hard deciding what God wanted me to support! I am not going to use an animal shelter analogy... that's just wrong! I do what I can, not much, but more than zero! And prayer only costs my time.

I had an excellent nap, Bubba stretched out in the bed nearby. Tomorrow, it's just work, Starbucks, picking up Ron's computer, and home.

The blood bank called. Next Friday we give blood; Ron does platelets, and I do regular blood. I would be a very selfish person if I said no! Blood donors saved my mother, father, brother, sister, uncle, and husband on two occasions. If you're a donor, thank you. Last time my donation messed up; but I got mugged not a week later so I probably "needed" the blood they couldn't take!

Queasy again. Oh, goody. It will be interesting to see my weight after I'm done with my cycle. I have about a week on that.

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