When I finally started feeling better, I ate what was left of my hamburger, along with some generic brand cheetos. I took a nap. And woke up with a migraine. Well, that sucked.
Now I have to go to bed shortly so I can, hopefully, get out delivery of soda tomorrow morning.
I have a couple of theories about the possum. 1. He likes it in here and he doesn't want to leave, so he is keeping a low profile. 2. A possum isn't half as bad as half the crap in my head, it doesn't scare me. 3. It could have gone back out the cat door and gotten out the way it got in. 4. We had the front door open for a while with the cats locked up. 5. Ron's had the door to the garage, opened.
I may have to unfriend someone. She posted a photo of a pregnant woman drinking and smoking, and then a caption "10 years later" and the kid is a fan of the "bad" sports team. Not funny at all. If she doesn't apologize I will block her. My disability has caused me a lot of pain, I can't even drive! She wouldn't think of mocking someone with down's syndrome, a Deaf person, or someone in a wheelchair, but FAS is fair game. The only good thing I can see in all of this is that it does promote drinking alcohol while pregnant leads to a bad outcome.
I feel like crap from the headache(s).. I'm going to bed early. Ron is upset he "lost" a bottle of vodka and was asking me to find it for him. I told him I didn't see any. All I see are a bunch of empties.
I remember when I signed him up for "Intervention" they wanted to know how much he drank a day. I don't know. He always calls it "one (or two) sip(s)". He can't get accurately diagnosed and treated at the doctors unless he is honest about his drinking. I have seen him drinking about 6 servings a day,and I know he has more when I am asleep. I marked the bottle and showed them how much a day, it was impressive enough they wanted him for the show.
But Ron has said, if he had to choose between me and alcohol, he would have chosen alcohol. I believe he still would, but we will see what happens at the doctor's office.
My head is finally feeling better and I have to go to bed.
Thursday, May 31, 2018
And yet another migraine
Rather than answer each individual post, I will just do a blanket reply to all. I don't think Ron would go to urgent care or the ER. The doctor's office did not seem concerned when he called and said he had swelling in both legs. Frankly, I am not in a hurry for bad news.
After reading This: alcohol and edema, I am thinking Ron probably has a combination of liver and kidney failure. Hopefully this will be enough to scare him into stopping the alcohol/Tylenol duo he has been dating for the last couple years.
Don't get me wrong, his legs aren't super puffy like you see on "My 600 pound life". I will put up a photo, later. But the fact that 2 different drivers have said something on one week, plus Ron saying his legs were puffy. So, they're puffier than they used to be, but, looking in on him a minute ago, I thought "They're not that bad".
But they need to get checked out. I'll put up a photo.
The possum: haven't seen it. I have trapped 2 of my cats. Torbie is the only one with any brains. Ron has been leaving the door to the garage open at night so he can leave that way. Hopefully, one day, we will leave for work with the possum running out in front of us.
Tuesday, Jack brought us the trap, along with a lot of food. He loves to feed people. So he brought cake, links, ribs, potato salad, and beans. Being a carb addict, I went after the cake. It was a nice white cake, the kind they cook in the circular pan with the finger in the middle, so the cake has a hole in it when you take it out. It looked safe to eat, a plain vanilla with a nice glaze.
So I ate it. And I took a nap. Woke up in agony: migraine. Ron and I had planned to go out. We went. The driver said something about Ron's legs, which led to my post. I staggered inside the restaurant, my head pounding.
Why did I go out with a migraine? I thought the Excedrin would help more, and it had, until I got out in the sun. 2. We get penalized for late cancellations, and would get 2. 3. I wanted to go out.
We got to the restaurant. We had the hostess with Down's Syndrome again, she is very sweet. And since she gets a disability check, the restaurant doesn't have to worry about paying her a living wage. Not sure how I feel about that.
It would be nice if a person with a disability could make as much as they could, with no limits, but the limit is about a thousand a month. Any more than that and you lose your check.
She sat us at a table, near a noisy family with a couple of toddlers, but the place was pretty full and not a lot of choices. Besides, I had a great view of the parking lot, so I'd see the driver when they came.
As it turns out, screaming kids (and they did scream) were the least of our problems. The hostess got us our drinks fast, but the waitress took so long I finally grabbed another waitress and asked her to send our waitress to our table. She did.
I ordered my food (to go) and Ron ordered an appetizer to eat for his dinner. It took forever. We didn't see our waitress again. Probably the second worst service we've gotten in our lives. Long story short, I was feeling a little better and ate a few fries off my plate.
It took forever to pay. I got the total off the tabletop computer and Ron gave her a 13% tip. He explained why. Normally we are very good tippers.
I'm just thinking that restaurant is really slow. I didn't tell Ron the southwest eggrolls had spinach in them, I could see it but he couldn't taste it. He loathes spinach.
It's one way to get him to eat his greens.
We finally left and went home. I was not feeling well. I put my food in the fridge and went to bed. I had a bad migraine night, finally dropped off around 3AM. I slept late, of course.
I ate a little bit of my hamburger. I still haven't finished it. I need to, so I can take my pills.
I'm tired and I'm groggy, and I need to get up at 2 AM tomorrow. I will post a photo when I can.
After reading This: alcohol and edema, I am thinking Ron probably has a combination of liver and kidney failure. Hopefully this will be enough to scare him into stopping the alcohol/Tylenol duo he has been dating for the last couple years.
Don't get me wrong, his legs aren't super puffy like you see on "My 600 pound life". I will put up a photo, later. But the fact that 2 different drivers have said something on one week, plus Ron saying his legs were puffy. So, they're puffier than they used to be, but, looking in on him a minute ago, I thought "They're not that bad".
But they need to get checked out. I'll put up a photo.
The possum: haven't seen it. I have trapped 2 of my cats. Torbie is the only one with any brains. Ron has been leaving the door to the garage open at night so he can leave that way. Hopefully, one day, we will leave for work with the possum running out in front of us.
Tuesday, Jack brought us the trap, along with a lot of food. He loves to feed people. So he brought cake, links, ribs, potato salad, and beans. Being a carb addict, I went after the cake. It was a nice white cake, the kind they cook in the circular pan with the finger in the middle, so the cake has a hole in it when you take it out. It looked safe to eat, a plain vanilla with a nice glaze.
So I ate it. And I took a nap. Woke up in agony: migraine. Ron and I had planned to go out. We went. The driver said something about Ron's legs, which led to my post. I staggered inside the restaurant, my head pounding.
Why did I go out with a migraine? I thought the Excedrin would help more, and it had, until I got out in the sun. 2. We get penalized for late cancellations, and would get 2. 3. I wanted to go out.
We got to the restaurant. We had the hostess with Down's Syndrome again, she is very sweet. And since she gets a disability check, the restaurant doesn't have to worry about paying her a living wage. Not sure how I feel about that.
It would be nice if a person with a disability could make as much as they could, with no limits, but the limit is about a thousand a month. Any more than that and you lose your check.
She sat us at a table, near a noisy family with a couple of toddlers, but the place was pretty full and not a lot of choices. Besides, I had a great view of the parking lot, so I'd see the driver when they came.
As it turns out, screaming kids (and they did scream) were the least of our problems. The hostess got us our drinks fast, but the waitress took so long I finally grabbed another waitress and asked her to send our waitress to our table. She did.
I ordered my food (to go) and Ron ordered an appetizer to eat for his dinner. It took forever. We didn't see our waitress again. Probably the second worst service we've gotten in our lives. Long story short, I was feeling a little better and ate a few fries off my plate.
It took forever to pay. I got the total off the tabletop computer and Ron gave her a 13% tip. He explained why. Normally we are very good tippers.
I'm just thinking that restaurant is really slow. I didn't tell Ron the southwest eggrolls had spinach in them, I could see it but he couldn't taste it. He loathes spinach.
It's one way to get him to eat his greens.
We finally left and went home. I was not feeling well. I put my food in the fridge and went to bed. I had a bad migraine night, finally dropped off around 3AM. I slept late, of course.
I ate a little bit of my hamburger. I still haven't finished it. I need to, so I can take my pills.
I'm tired and I'm groggy, and I need to get up at 2 AM tomorrow. I will post a photo when I can.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Puffy
All the drivers are talking about Ron's swollen legs. Freaks me out. Earliest Dr appointment was Tuesday. I am expecting bad news.
Tuesday, May 29, 2018
The possum
I screamed like a girl today.
It started out pretty harmlessly. I slept late, had to rush through my shower. I put my glasses on and went into the front room, naked.
Awww! A little brown kitten on the floor! How did it get in? I took a closer look as it turned around, and I screamed as I realized I had a full blown possum in my front room.
That's right, that thing under my bed the other night? A POSSUM. Words cannot describe my reaction to that.
It reminds me of Old Days with Bubba, and he would bring home live rats. Yuck.
It was kind of cute, until it turned around. It had very pretty fur, but it's vermin in my house.
We still had to go to work. So we did. We spent all our time stocking (which is good) and came home again.
And the cats? Totally chill. Completely indifferent. If I brought another cat into the house, it would be mayhem. A dog? Even worse. A possum? Let's all act like nothing's wrong, except for sniffing things a little more than usual.
I tried to take a nap. That didn't work very well. Ron and I went out to eat. While out, he managed to arrange for someone to bring us a trap. He brought it, we paid for it.
It was huge. It is a cat/raccoon trap. The possum isn't that big. I found some peanut butter breakfast biscuits, where I found the possum this morning. It had licked off all the peanut butter. So I put a big dab of peanut butter on the plate, along with a can of cat food my cats don't like.
I worked on the computer for a little while and I heard the trap activate. I went and looked, and saw a very fat, embarrassed-looking Biscuit in the trap. I got him out. A couple minutes later, I caught Baby Girl headed into the trap. I managed to chase her off by squirting her with water. Torbie's the only one with any brains around here.
Ron is lying in bed. I did warn him, since the possum got food out of his room, he had better be careful reaching into places. He just shrugged me off. So I will probably hear his bloodcurdling scream in the middle of the night.
Although, as near as I can tell, the possum has been living with us for a couple of days so far, with no problem. The cats don't mind. If possums made good pets I might keep it. But it's a wild animal and I'm not going to do that. It needs to go back outside and live there. While it has a good indoor life, food, water, air conditioning, protection from predators, it's not meant for indoors.
I'll keep you posted.
It started out pretty harmlessly. I slept late, had to rush through my shower. I put my glasses on and went into the front room, naked.
Awww! A little brown kitten on the floor! How did it get in? I took a closer look as it turned around, and I screamed as I realized I had a full blown possum in my front room.
That's right, that thing under my bed the other night? A POSSUM. Words cannot describe my reaction to that.
It reminds me of Old Days with Bubba, and he would bring home live rats. Yuck.
It was kind of cute, until it turned around. It had very pretty fur, but it's vermin in my house.
We still had to go to work. So we did. We spent all our time stocking (which is good) and came home again.
And the cats? Totally chill. Completely indifferent. If I brought another cat into the house, it would be mayhem. A dog? Even worse. A possum? Let's all act like nothing's wrong, except for sniffing things a little more than usual.
I tried to take a nap. That didn't work very well. Ron and I went out to eat. While out, he managed to arrange for someone to bring us a trap. He brought it, we paid for it.
It was huge. It is a cat/raccoon trap. The possum isn't that big. I found some peanut butter breakfast biscuits, where I found the possum this morning. It had licked off all the peanut butter. So I put a big dab of peanut butter on the plate, along with a can of cat food my cats don't like.
I worked on the computer for a little while and I heard the trap activate. I went and looked, and saw a very fat, embarrassed-looking Biscuit in the trap. I got him out. A couple minutes later, I caught Baby Girl headed into the trap. I managed to chase her off by squirting her with water. Torbie's the only one with any brains around here.
Ron is lying in bed. I did warn him, since the possum got food out of his room, he had better be careful reaching into places. He just shrugged me off. So I will probably hear his bloodcurdling scream in the middle of the night.
Although, as near as I can tell, the possum has been living with us for a couple of days so far, with no problem. The cats don't mind. If possums made good pets I might keep it. But it's a wild animal and I'm not going to do that. It needs to go back outside and live there. While it has a good indoor life, food, water, air conditioning, protection from predators, it's not meant for indoors.
I'll keep you posted.
Monday, May 28, 2018
Memorial Day
Ron and I had an interesting conversation last night. He asked me what type Bipolar I am, Type one or type two. And were there even types?
I said yes, there were different types. Type two is, in my opinion, less severe. The person goes from depressed mood to normal, and back again. It's basically "normal/depression".
Did I have that? No. What did I have? Type one with schizophrenia, or psychosis. I prefer schizophrenia. "That's sounds bad". Yeah, it is.
I explained my illness is so bad I am willing to put up with a lot of side effects to manage it. We had a nice little talk and I went to bed.
Torbie didn't get in my bed. I woke up exhausted, even though I had had a good night's sleep. That's the price I pay: fatigue. And brain fog, etc. I took my shower and tried to help Ron get ready to go to Walmart.
We had a problem,though, Baby Girl was in his wheelchair. I tried gently pushing her out of the chair and she gave me a very angry meow. I kept pushing her out of the chair and she hissed at me, right before she jumped down.
Well.. If she were getting a behavioral evaluation at a shelter they would put her down. She's lucky she lives with us!
I got Ron ready and we left. He complained but he went along.
The driver said something that really alarmed me "Oh, your legs are really swollen". Ron had been complaining his socks were tight and he "gained weight" and needed new pants. We got him new pants but his legs and feet are definitely puffy. We will have to get him to the doctor. I just read up on edema and it scared the hell out of me.
He waited up front, by the watermelons, while I did the shopping. He even asked about a kiddie cart, but I didn't see any available.
I did the shopping, I didn't have a lot of money, but I wanted some things. For instance, I need to clean out the bathtub so he can have a bath, before his doctor appointment. I would like to have drinks to bring to the doctor's office. Etc.
I also got him some cat treats. I got in line to check out. There was a woman with a question about a container of blueberries. It wouldn't scan and she couldn't remember the price. The cashier kept trying to find it on her computer and it wouldn't work. So the customer walked, very slowly, to the produce section and looked for herself. Ron called me, trying to hurry me up, and I had to explain. I know the cashier overheard me. The woman finally came back and had a price. They rang it up and she went on her way, but not without pawing through my bag "Just to make sure I got all my stuff". Rude and rude again.
I apologized to the cashier for being impatient, and she rang me up. She was very nice. I had enough time to get some breakfast sandwiches for us before the ride came.
It was a cab. The cabs really only seat 4 adults, plus one wheelchair. He had 2 clients already so Ron had to ride in the back. We put my stuff around him and he looked OK. Then I got in and fastened my seatbelt. Ron was held down by a combination of straps, rigging, and belts. When the driver had to stop suddenly, Ron was fine.
Amazingly, we had a straight trip home. The #6 kids were running around near my driveway so I warned the driver the kids run in front of vehicles. The driver helped me put my stuff in the garage, very nice. I got Ron and all the stuff into the house and put it away.
I had taken my antidepressant when I ate my breakfast sandwich. I was pretty groggy, so I laid down for a nap. I got Torbie in bed with me, and she got on my chest, put a paw on my face, and was generally adorable. I didn't see Growly (Baby Girl), but I did see Biscuit. He was cute and got in my lap, so Ron gave him some treats. Biscuit is getting pretty cuddly, he's a good boy and I love him for that.
I went to sleep for a while, weird dreams, woke up with a pending headache. I hate that. I was laying in bed thinking about getting up, when #6 started playing loud Mexican music. I cursed and got up.
I looked out the window to see if he was having a party. He wasn't (at least not yet), but it was just his truck in the driveway, so they left him home alone and he decided to act like an immature teenager.
One thing I really admire about Ron, when he bought his speakers, he turned them up gradually, as he walked around the house (you can tell this was a while back), making sure he was not bothering the neighbors. I have a good time listening to my music and no one knows but Ron. I am playing music now, but you can hardly hear it in the bathroom, much less next door. Have some respect.
He turned it off after about 10 minutes, but Torbie was gone anyway, so I watched some TV. After I do this post I will do my God Time and then eat some dinner, hopefully, hopefully, go to bed early. Hopefully the neighbors will let me do this. Most of them are awesome, no complaints. The only complaints I have are the rent houses (#8, 10, #2), and #6. He bought the house, damaged, from flooding, during the time when they were handing out mortgages to everyone. I doubt he would qualify now for a mortgage, not with the brand new minivan and 6 kids. But it could be a lot worse, so I don't complain.
I could shut him down if I complained to the building department he did an illegal modification to his house and turned the garage into 2 bedrooms, PLUS added on a huge playroom onto the back of the house a couple years ago. Frankly, I'm shocked his insurance company hasn't caught on and at the very least raised his rates. My insurance company comes out every year to examine the property (outside only). And, I could always complain about his illegal additions to the homeowners association. If I did either, or both, he would probably have to undo all the modifications, put 6 kids into 2 bedrooms, and most likely have to move. It hasn't been that bad yet.
So, off I go. I hope you got today off, and you had a good day. I am battling depression and fatigue, plus worry about Ron, so I am trying to have a good time in spite of all that.
Off to scrounge up a snack.
Sunday, May 27, 2018
Nice Big Gatorade
No comments! Just spam!
Apparently my spam blocker isn't working anymore. It used to work great. But the rest of Blogger works so I will confine my whine.
Oh, crap, I need to call my parents. BRB. OK, done.
Good news from Dad, his PSA level is very low. Should mean the cancer is gone but he isn't saying that until he talks to his doctor. Good to hear, I'd like to keep Dad around for a while yet.
They are looking forward to their visit in a couple of weeks. I told them about the Bibles yesterday, and Biscuit bringing the lizards.
Today was pretty quiet. I got up around 8. I could tell I was going to have headaches/a nightmare if I didn't. So I got up. I fed Biscuit and friends, got on the computer for a while, and took my shower. I finished the laundry and hung it up.
I did up some candy with tracts. World Missionary Press is way behind on orders and I have plenty of tracts. I don't want to put a burden on WMP if I can just switch to a tract I already have, instead.
I did up 10 bags, and put a couple of Bibles on the back of the wheelchair. I did my God Time, and took a very short nap. More of "lying in bed for half an hour". I got up, Ron wanted to get something to eat. Our driver was late, but a nice guy.
He is a Christian, from an African country. In a lot of countries over there they make about $400 a year. He said that is pretty close to what it's like in his country and we talked a little.
We got to the restaurant. We only had 40 minutes. I ordered a dessert. I could take my pills with that and they always prepare it quickly. Ron ordered a small entree.
Our bill, with 2 sodas, only came to $10. I handed out some candy while I was there and it was appreciated. Service people love candy. I know that myself.
One of my fondest work memories is the guy who filled up the pockets on my smock with Peanut M&M's, during Christmas. I was having a horrible day and he made it a lot better. I nibbled on them all day as I worked, thanking God for the nice man. That was back in 1992.
Another time, one of my customers was moving. He took me aside and said "I don't want anything in return, I just want you to have this" and he gave me $20. He was very concerned I understand he didn't want anything funny. It never even crossed my mind. I was broke at the time and really appreciated it.
So, little things can make a big impact. We had a nice ride home. The driver was working some overtime because his wife was out of town.
We came home and I watched a little TV before I got on the computer, then I remembered to call my parents. Back on the computer now and probably going to bed soon.
I managed to sweet talk Ron into taking me to Walmart tomorrow. If the fence guys come and do "my" fence, I want to give them some cold drinks. But I need Gatorades to give them. I want to give them a nice big Gatorade, which means I need to have a nice big Gatorade. I plan to buy about a dozen, tomorrow. That should hold me for a while. I only drink Gatorade when I am doing a Bible Handout.
So, I'm off. I didn't have Torbie in my bed last night, she hung out with Ron, instead. Hopefully I will get her back tonight. I miss her when she's not there.
Apparently my spam blocker isn't working anymore. It used to work great. But the rest of Blogger works so I will confine my whine.
Oh, crap, I need to call my parents. BRB. OK, done.
Good news from Dad, his PSA level is very low. Should mean the cancer is gone but he isn't saying that until he talks to his doctor. Good to hear, I'd like to keep Dad around for a while yet.
They are looking forward to their visit in a couple of weeks. I told them about the Bibles yesterday, and Biscuit bringing the lizards.
Today was pretty quiet. I got up around 8. I could tell I was going to have headaches/a nightmare if I didn't. So I got up. I fed Biscuit and friends, got on the computer for a while, and took my shower. I finished the laundry and hung it up.
I did up some candy with tracts. World Missionary Press is way behind on orders and I have plenty of tracts. I don't want to put a burden on WMP if I can just switch to a tract I already have, instead.
I did up 10 bags, and put a couple of Bibles on the back of the wheelchair. I did my God Time, and took a very short nap. More of "lying in bed for half an hour". I got up, Ron wanted to get something to eat. Our driver was late, but a nice guy.
He is a Christian, from an African country. In a lot of countries over there they make about $400 a year. He said that is pretty close to what it's like in his country and we talked a little.
We got to the restaurant. We only had 40 minutes. I ordered a dessert. I could take my pills with that and they always prepare it quickly. Ron ordered a small entree.
Our bill, with 2 sodas, only came to $10. I handed out some candy while I was there and it was appreciated. Service people love candy. I know that myself.
One of my fondest work memories is the guy who filled up the pockets on my smock with Peanut M&M's, during Christmas. I was having a horrible day and he made it a lot better. I nibbled on them all day as I worked, thanking God for the nice man. That was back in 1992.
Another time, one of my customers was moving. He took me aside and said "I don't want anything in return, I just want you to have this" and he gave me $20. He was very concerned I understand he didn't want anything funny. It never even crossed my mind. I was broke at the time and really appreciated it.
So, little things can make a big impact. We had a nice ride home. The driver was working some overtime because his wife was out of town.
We came home and I watched a little TV before I got on the computer, then I remembered to call my parents. Back on the computer now and probably going to bed soon.
I managed to sweet talk Ron into taking me to Walmart tomorrow. If the fence guys come and do "my" fence, I want to give them some cold drinks. But I need Gatorades to give them. I want to give them a nice big Gatorade, which means I need to have a nice big Gatorade. I plan to buy about a dozen, tomorrow. That should hold me for a while. I only drink Gatorade when I am doing a Bible Handout.
So, I'm off. I didn't have Torbie in my bed last night, she hung out with Ron, instead. Hopefully I will get her back tonight. I miss her when she's not there.
Saturday, May 26, 2018
Reptile invaders
Well, I found it. It was a lizard. Is, a lizard, I should say.
I found a fresh-looking lizard tail in the hallway yesterday, shortly before Biscuit brought home yet another lizard. He dropped it right next to my foot, it attempted to scale my foot.
That's the thing about reptiles, when they touch my bare skin, they're always so cold. I went to find a cup so I could scoop it up and put it outside. I came back, all 3 cats were surrounding it, and it was minus a tail. Side note, the tail kept moving for quite a while, after it came off. I scooped up the lizard and put it outside.
Since I found another tail in the hallway I'm guessing there was a first lizard, and, sure enough, I found one today after my nap. I caught it, it seemed a little tired, like it had been in the house a few days, and the skin was a little weird.
The cats ate both the tails. I know Baby Girl will gobble a lizard whole, she loves to eat them. The lizards should be thanking God I found them when I did.
So, my mystery visitor was a lizard.
I hope.
I went to bed last night and slept OK. No headache, no nightmares. I woke up several times to drink water and use the bathroom, but that's pretty standard.
I got up and got ready for my trip to the Bible bookstore. Ron had, quite awesomely, I felt, offered to take me. It's especially notable because we would have to stay at least an hour.
I took my shower and did my God Time. I bagged up some candy and got ready to go. I brought some cash, and my debit card. The Go Fund Me money goes directly into my checking account, but I have never used my debit card to pay for something. I've only used it online. I was concerned I might have a problem. I didn't want to put the clerk through the trouble of ordering 300 New Testaments only to have her cancel the transaction because of a problem with my card. It was a concern.
Our ride wasn't very late and we headed out. We unloaded right outside the door and went inside. I left Ron by the jewelry. I looked all over and I couldn't find the New Testament. And they told me they had 89, yesterday. I finally went for help. She couldn't find them, either. A second person showed up to help. She found them. They had changed the cover design.
We got them ordered, 300. They gave me free shipping to my door. The debit card worked perfectly. Then the second helper ran off to the back, told me to wait. I wasn't going anywhere for 45 minutes, anyway.
She came back with a case of whole Bibles they had collected for donation. I accepted them happily. This is not the first time they have done this, with me.
Then I walked over and got some fast food for us. Ron said he wasn't hungry but he ate his chicken. I had a milkshake. I think they give me headaches.
We had a good ride home. The driver didn't want any candy, but took a Bible. We talked about "My 600 Pound Life" on the way home. We agreed we want the diet the doctor gives his patients. The ones who stick to it lose a lot of weight.
We got home and my flip flop blew out in the driveway. I wasn't going anywhere. I threw them in the trash can (It is always the right foot flip flop that blows), and went in barefoot. I keep a clean driveway so I didn't step on anything. I got the Bibles put up in the house.
Some people prefer to send me cash or a check. I always spend it wisely. One lady sends me cash every now and then, not huge amounts, but a big deal anyway. I always think of Jesus talking about the widow who gave everything. God respects all donations. At any rate, I got some Bibles, tracts, and New Testaments with that money. I had that in a bag in addition to the Bibles. Spent all of it, owed them 8 cents, which I paid with my own money. That's the direction I like for the donations.
223 of the New Testaments were covered by donations, I got the rest. Like I said, I want a balance.
I never want to be caught as a bad steward. That would be horrible and I am sure God would take away all the donations if I did.
I laid down with Torbie and we took a nap. At one point I was on my side, with one arm on either side of her, as she lay on her side, with her head on a pillow. She loves to lay with her head on that pillow, so I never move it, or wash it. We had a good time. Eventually I rolled over, but she stayed.
She got up when I did. I had a nasty headache and was starting to have dreams I could tell would go to nightmares, if I didn't get up. I took some Excedrin and watched a little TV. The last couple times I have had a milkshake, I had a headache when I woke up from a nap, so I'm going to cut them out. Not worth it. I did take my pills when I got home, too, so that might have been a factor.
Not much happening online. Everyone is out living their lives. #7, across the street from us, has a huge inflatable bouncy castle in his backyard so I assume he is having a birthday party for his little girl later today. He is generally pretty quiet since that whole bat-swinging incident some months after he bought the house.
They had a loud, late-night party. We were in bed. The next thing I know, some girl is ringing my doorbell at 11:30 at night, screaming gibberish. I called the police. She went around to several houses and no one opened up. I watched out the front window.
It sounded as if she had said "He has a gun". I saw a young man, laughing maniacally, leaving in a car. She went back to her house. The police came. Apparently the young man I saw leaving got drunk and was swinging a bat, at the party. And now here are the police and I'm sure they had questions about underage drinking, etc. They never had another party like that, even when the older girl had her quince. It was fine. So they are generally assimilated to the neighborhood (quiet) now.
We'll see. We have tomorrow off. It is interesting, Mexicans always have the birthday party, at least the ones around me, on a Saturday night. No other night of the week.
It's funny how the racial divide works. My street has over a dozen, less than 3 dozen, houses on it. My end of the street is all Mexicans. The other end of the street is Black. Generally speaking, there are a few rebels here and there, like #2 and #9 (black).
And I'm the only white person on the block. Kind of odd, let me tell you.
I need to do some laundry tonight, so I will be getting on with that. I don't like to run the washer and the A/C at the same time because they're on the same circuit. I don't like to strain it. I am always worried a fuse will blow and I'll have to open the box. The box is really hard to close. It's a special, lizard-proof, southern design but nearly impossible to shut. I have actually taken Ron out there in the wheelchair to do it.
But I can pretreat, remove tags from Ron's new shirts, and remove cat hair from pants. Ron has a lot of neuropathy in his back, if he pulls down a medium t-shirt, it rubs against his back and makes him scream. If he wears a Large t-shirt it is easier for him to pull down in the back and less pain. And that's kind of the goal for Ron: less pain.
I'm thirsty, I'm going to go make up some lemonade.
I found a fresh-looking lizard tail in the hallway yesterday, shortly before Biscuit brought home yet another lizard. He dropped it right next to my foot, it attempted to scale my foot.
That's the thing about reptiles, when they touch my bare skin, they're always so cold. I went to find a cup so I could scoop it up and put it outside. I came back, all 3 cats were surrounding it, and it was minus a tail. Side note, the tail kept moving for quite a while, after it came off. I scooped up the lizard and put it outside.
Since I found another tail in the hallway I'm guessing there was a first lizard, and, sure enough, I found one today after my nap. I caught it, it seemed a little tired, like it had been in the house a few days, and the skin was a little weird.
The cats ate both the tails. I know Baby Girl will gobble a lizard whole, she loves to eat them. The lizards should be thanking God I found them when I did.
So, my mystery visitor was a lizard.
I hope.
I went to bed last night and slept OK. No headache, no nightmares. I woke up several times to drink water and use the bathroom, but that's pretty standard.
I got up and got ready for my trip to the Bible bookstore. Ron had, quite awesomely, I felt, offered to take me. It's especially notable because we would have to stay at least an hour.
I took my shower and did my God Time. I bagged up some candy and got ready to go. I brought some cash, and my debit card. The Go Fund Me money goes directly into my checking account, but I have never used my debit card to pay for something. I've only used it online. I was concerned I might have a problem. I didn't want to put the clerk through the trouble of ordering 300 New Testaments only to have her cancel the transaction because of a problem with my card. It was a concern.
Our ride wasn't very late and we headed out. We unloaded right outside the door and went inside. I left Ron by the jewelry. I looked all over and I couldn't find the New Testament. And they told me they had 89, yesterday. I finally went for help. She couldn't find them, either. A second person showed up to help. She found them. They had changed the cover design.
We got them ordered, 300. They gave me free shipping to my door. The debit card worked perfectly. Then the second helper ran off to the back, told me to wait. I wasn't going anywhere for 45 minutes, anyway.
She came back with a case of whole Bibles they had collected for donation. I accepted them happily. This is not the first time they have done this, with me.
Then I walked over and got some fast food for us. Ron said he wasn't hungry but he ate his chicken. I had a milkshake. I think they give me headaches.
We had a good ride home. The driver didn't want any candy, but took a Bible. We talked about "My 600 Pound Life" on the way home. We agreed we want the diet the doctor gives his patients. The ones who stick to it lose a lot of weight.
We got home and my flip flop blew out in the driveway. I wasn't going anywhere. I threw them in the trash can (It is always the right foot flip flop that blows), and went in barefoot. I keep a clean driveway so I didn't step on anything. I got the Bibles put up in the house.
Some people prefer to send me cash or a check. I always spend it wisely. One lady sends me cash every now and then, not huge amounts, but a big deal anyway. I always think of Jesus talking about the widow who gave everything. God respects all donations. At any rate, I got some Bibles, tracts, and New Testaments with that money. I had that in a bag in addition to the Bibles. Spent all of it, owed them 8 cents, which I paid with my own money. That's the direction I like for the donations.
223 of the New Testaments were covered by donations, I got the rest. Like I said, I want a balance.
I never want to be caught as a bad steward. That would be horrible and I am sure God would take away all the donations if I did.
I laid down with Torbie and we took a nap. At one point I was on my side, with one arm on either side of her, as she lay on her side, with her head on a pillow. She loves to lay with her head on that pillow, so I never move it, or wash it. We had a good time. Eventually I rolled over, but she stayed.
She got up when I did. I had a nasty headache and was starting to have dreams I could tell would go to nightmares, if I didn't get up. I took some Excedrin and watched a little TV. The last couple times I have had a milkshake, I had a headache when I woke up from a nap, so I'm going to cut them out. Not worth it. I did take my pills when I got home, too, so that might have been a factor.
Not much happening online. Everyone is out living their lives. #7, across the street from us, has a huge inflatable bouncy castle in his backyard so I assume he is having a birthday party for his little girl later today. He is generally pretty quiet since that whole bat-swinging incident some months after he bought the house.
They had a loud, late-night party. We were in bed. The next thing I know, some girl is ringing my doorbell at 11:30 at night, screaming gibberish. I called the police. She went around to several houses and no one opened up. I watched out the front window.
It sounded as if she had said "He has a gun". I saw a young man, laughing maniacally, leaving in a car. She went back to her house. The police came. Apparently the young man I saw leaving got drunk and was swinging a bat, at the party. And now here are the police and I'm sure they had questions about underage drinking, etc. They never had another party like that, even when the older girl had her quince. It was fine. So they are generally assimilated to the neighborhood (quiet) now.
We'll see. We have tomorrow off. It is interesting, Mexicans always have the birthday party, at least the ones around me, on a Saturday night. No other night of the week.
It's funny how the racial divide works. My street has over a dozen, less than 3 dozen, houses on it. My end of the street is all Mexicans. The other end of the street is Black. Generally speaking, there are a few rebels here and there, like #2 and #9 (black).
And I'm the only white person on the block. Kind of odd, let me tell you.
I need to do some laundry tonight, so I will be getting on with that. I don't like to run the washer and the A/C at the same time because they're on the same circuit. I don't like to strain it. I am always worried a fuse will blow and I'll have to open the box. The box is really hard to close. It's a special, lizard-proof, southern design but nearly impossible to shut. I have actually taken Ron out there in the wheelchair to do it.
But I can pretreat, remove tags from Ron's new shirts, and remove cat hair from pants. Ron has a lot of neuropathy in his back, if he pulls down a medium t-shirt, it rubs against his back and makes him scream. If he wears a Large t-shirt it is easier for him to pull down in the back and less pain. And that's kind of the goal for Ron: less pain.
I'm thirsty, I'm going to go make up some lemonade.
Friday, May 25, 2018
There is something alive, in my bedroom
Last night, as I lay in bed, I heard something rustling. Moving around. Shifting. It was too small to be a cat, too big to be a bug. I don't know what it was.
I figure it got in through the cat door, or the cats brought it in and it got away from them. Or, maybe I'm hallucinating. I don't know. Ron has severe hearing loss, he wouldn't hear it even if I took him in there.
I guess I won't know for sure unless the cats get it and leave a corpse in my doorway. Ugh.
Hard to be a cat lover, with outside cat access, and hallucinating, with sleep troubles. Especially when there is something alive, in my bedroom. Torbie was in my bed, and I reminded myself of her excitement when Biscuit brought home that mockingbird, a while ago. She was on the hunt immediately when she heard it flying around in the house. She wanted to kill it. They all did. I reminded myself, if there was really something, Torbie would be after it. I'd think.
Eventually it shut up and I went to sleep, slept pretty well. No nightmares, woke up a few times for water and pee breaks, but that's standard. I had a dream about refinishing a dresser. I can handle dreams like that.
[side note, back in 2006 I went manic for wood finishing. I finished a bed, a bookcase, a cabinet, and a bedside table. I found it very fun, creative, and relaxing, but the polyurethane did give me a migraine.]
I got up and had a moderate headache. I drank some decaf iced tea and got on the computer for a while. The headache abated. Then I ate some yogurt and took my pills. The headache came back. I love you, Wellbutrin, but you cause a lot of headaches. I took my shower. That helped. Then I bagged up candy for today, and did my God Time.
They were doing construction work next door, at #2. I never know who might read the blog, so I will say I only see the landlord making repairs when they are trying to rent the place. The house is half-painted, has been for over a year. I don't know how they get that past the homeowner's association. So, imagine my surprise when their "OK" fence was torn down and guys started installing a brand new, pressure treated, fence. Nice work. I could see them doing it on the front and side of the house, yesterday. Those sides are public, and face the main streets. I thought that was the end of it but no, today, they were working on the back fence. Since the fence between our houses was destroyed by the Barkappotamous (search it, if you don't know the story - basically a very loud and destructive dog that lived next door for about a year), I expect they will be getting to that shortly. The landlady did promise me they would repair the fence because their tenant's dog destroyed it. That dog was desperate to live with us, and did everything in her power to break down that fence between us. Ron and I (back when he was perkier) patched it with huge sheets of wood and various boards, but it looks patched, and I'm amazed it doesn't blow down every time we have a bad storm. She needs to make this right, and if she has the money to do all the other sides then she had BETTER fix OUR fence. I will even take drinks out to the workers, along with some culturally appropriate candy and tracts, but I expect it fixed. She promised she would fix it back in 2010. We will see.
So I had the construction noise going, but I still laid down for a little while. In addition to giving headaches, my antidepressant makes me tired, hands shake, brain fog. I needed a little rest.
I got up a little before 2. Ron wanted us to get some dinner. His love language generally relates to him taking me for dinner these days. Cheap places, I'm not expensive. We got ready and left.
We had a good ride. I talked to Ron about my latest go fund me donations (2) and how I want to spend the money. I think I should hand out New Testaments for a while. I can get them pretty cheap at Lifeway, but did they still sell them? Good question. I got Ron on that between reading him the menu and ordering our food. Turns out they still sell them, for 56 cents each instead of 50. Not bad. It's been almost 10 years since I started handing them out, and I have handed out well over thousands of these rascals. Then Ron offered to take me to the store tomorrow, I accepted gratefully. Like he said, if you take a cab it will cost a lot more than 56 cents a Bible. Theoretically I could take the bus, but when I go to pick them up they will be impossible to transport any other way. We had a good time talking.
Even though the restaurant sells alcohol, Ron ordered a diet soda. It was nice to have my husband back. Which is one reason I do go out with him so often.
We had a good meal, I got grease on my shirt from my hamburger, but I can pretreat that. We had a short wait and came home straight. Ron went to lie down, he is tired. He has a lot of leftovers. I don't, I just ordered the burger and some dessert, and ate that.
We came home. I checked my bank account balance. I have the money in my account. Everything adds up, as near as I can tell. I really need to keep a spreadsheet and get an office program for my computer.
Anyone know of a good office program for free, on a computer running Windows 7? Tell me about it. Post a link in the comments, even, and I'll publish it after I check it out.
So, I'm ready to go for tomorrow. Ron made the trips and is in really good spirits about it. Sometimes he can be pretty cranky about the handouts but not lately.
I also want to do a Handout next week, but I will have to see what the weather does. Ron will probably not want to go if it is too hot, even though I bought him a new hat, and would bring him ice water. We'll see how much he loves me. :p
I need to start some laundry, and clean the litter boxes. The cats are starting to object. And if I want them to catch that thing I had better keep them happy. I have plenty of litter, I always do. I make sure of that.
If something happened to Ron, that would probably be my big problem, getting litter home. I could get to Walmart on the bus, but I would probably have to call a cab to get home. Assuming one was willing to come to Walmart. I never forget that one time I got stuck waiting at Walmart for two and a half hours, before I finally called Chuck to come get me. Regular stuff, I could get home on the bus or a cab. Litter? A problem. I just remembered I could use Chewy.
Can't worry about things that might never happen, so I won't. I am more worried about the thing that might be in the bedroom. And it is so sad to deal with people who are delusional/hallucinating. I have seen a couple episodes of Hoarders where the person clearly had hallucinations and/or delusional disorder. It was sad and very frustrating, to watch people try to get the truth into them. Which is why I take my Haldol. I get "breakthrough" problems now and then, which Doc doesn't seem worried about, but overall I am OK.
Well, time to go check the mail. I will see if Ron has any new, talking books. I will clean the boxes. I will do laundry. And I will get ready for tomorrow.
When Ron called the store they only had 89 (only!) New Testaments so I will have to special order 300 or so. 200 with sponsor money, 100 with mine. I always have more my money going towards the handouts, I never take money out.
Even the thought makes me cringe.
I figure it got in through the cat door, or the cats brought it in and it got away from them. Or, maybe I'm hallucinating. I don't know. Ron has severe hearing loss, he wouldn't hear it even if I took him in there.
I guess I won't know for sure unless the cats get it and leave a corpse in my doorway. Ugh.
Hard to be a cat lover, with outside cat access, and hallucinating, with sleep troubles. Especially when there is something alive, in my bedroom. Torbie was in my bed, and I reminded myself of her excitement when Biscuit brought home that mockingbird, a while ago. She was on the hunt immediately when she heard it flying around in the house. She wanted to kill it. They all did. I reminded myself, if there was really something, Torbie would be after it. I'd think.
Eventually it shut up and I went to sleep, slept pretty well. No nightmares, woke up a few times for water and pee breaks, but that's standard. I had a dream about refinishing a dresser. I can handle dreams like that.
[side note, back in 2006 I went manic for wood finishing. I finished a bed, a bookcase, a cabinet, and a bedside table. I found it very fun, creative, and relaxing, but the polyurethane did give me a migraine.]
I got up and had a moderate headache. I drank some decaf iced tea and got on the computer for a while. The headache abated. Then I ate some yogurt and took my pills. The headache came back. I love you, Wellbutrin, but you cause a lot of headaches. I took my shower. That helped. Then I bagged up candy for today, and did my God Time.
They were doing construction work next door, at #2. I never know who might read the blog, so I will say I only see the landlord making repairs when they are trying to rent the place. The house is half-painted, has been for over a year. I don't know how they get that past the homeowner's association. So, imagine my surprise when their "OK" fence was torn down and guys started installing a brand new, pressure treated, fence. Nice work. I could see them doing it on the front and side of the house, yesterday. Those sides are public, and face the main streets. I thought that was the end of it but no, today, they were working on the back fence. Since the fence between our houses was destroyed by the Barkappotamous (search it, if you don't know the story - basically a very loud and destructive dog that lived next door for about a year), I expect they will be getting to that shortly. The landlady did promise me they would repair the fence because their tenant's dog destroyed it. That dog was desperate to live with us, and did everything in her power to break down that fence between us. Ron and I (back when he was perkier) patched it with huge sheets of wood and various boards, but it looks patched, and I'm amazed it doesn't blow down every time we have a bad storm. She needs to make this right, and if she has the money to do all the other sides then she had BETTER fix OUR fence. I will even take drinks out to the workers, along with some culturally appropriate candy and tracts, but I expect it fixed. She promised she would fix it back in 2010. We will see.
So I had the construction noise going, but I still laid down for a little while. In addition to giving headaches, my antidepressant makes me tired, hands shake, brain fog. I needed a little rest.
I got up a little before 2. Ron wanted us to get some dinner. His love language generally relates to him taking me for dinner these days. Cheap places, I'm not expensive. We got ready and left.
We had a good ride. I talked to Ron about my latest go fund me donations (2) and how I want to spend the money. I think I should hand out New Testaments for a while. I can get them pretty cheap at Lifeway, but did they still sell them? Good question. I got Ron on that between reading him the menu and ordering our food. Turns out they still sell them, for 56 cents each instead of 50. Not bad. It's been almost 10 years since I started handing them out, and I have handed out well over thousands of these rascals. Then Ron offered to take me to the store tomorrow, I accepted gratefully. Like he said, if you take a cab it will cost a lot more than 56 cents a Bible. Theoretically I could take the bus, but when I go to pick them up they will be impossible to transport any other way. We had a good time talking.
Even though the restaurant sells alcohol, Ron ordered a diet soda. It was nice to have my husband back. Which is one reason I do go out with him so often.
We had a good meal, I got grease on my shirt from my hamburger, but I can pretreat that. We had a short wait and came home straight. Ron went to lie down, he is tired. He has a lot of leftovers. I don't, I just ordered the burger and some dessert, and ate that.
We came home. I checked my bank account balance. I have the money in my account. Everything adds up, as near as I can tell. I really need to keep a spreadsheet and get an office program for my computer.
Anyone know of a good office program for free, on a computer running Windows 7? Tell me about it. Post a link in the comments, even, and I'll publish it after I check it out.
So, I'm ready to go for tomorrow. Ron made the trips and is in really good spirits about it. Sometimes he can be pretty cranky about the handouts but not lately.
I also want to do a Handout next week, but I will have to see what the weather does. Ron will probably not want to go if it is too hot, even though I bought him a new hat, and would bring him ice water. We'll see how much he loves me. :p
I need to start some laundry, and clean the litter boxes. The cats are starting to object. And if I want them to catch that thing I had better keep them happy. I have plenty of litter, I always do. I make sure of that.
If something happened to Ron, that would probably be my big problem, getting litter home. I could get to Walmart on the bus, but I would probably have to call a cab to get home. Assuming one was willing to come to Walmart. I never forget that one time I got stuck waiting at Walmart for two and a half hours, before I finally called Chuck to come get me. Regular stuff, I could get home on the bus or a cab. Litter? A problem. I just remembered I could use Chewy.
Can't worry about things that might never happen, so I won't. I am more worried about the thing that might be in the bedroom. And it is so sad to deal with people who are delusional/hallucinating. I have seen a couple episodes of Hoarders where the person clearly had hallucinations and/or delusional disorder. It was sad and very frustrating, to watch people try to get the truth into them. Which is why I take my Haldol. I get "breakthrough" problems now and then, which Doc doesn't seem worried about, but overall I am OK.
Well, time to go check the mail. I will see if Ron has any new, talking books. I will clean the boxes. I will do laundry. And I will get ready for tomorrow.
When Ron called the store they only had 89 (only!) New Testaments so I will have to special order 300 or so. 200 with sponsor money, 100 with mine. I always have more my money going towards the handouts, I never take money out.
Even the thought makes me cringe.
Thursday, May 24, 2018
Scattered Shower
I didn't sleep well. I was happy, though, when I kicked my foot out, only to end up in fur. Torbie had joined me in the bed for a cuddle, not by my head, but by my feet. She got up before I woke up but she was there.
Oh, we're going to miss her when she goes. Baby Girl will be happy she doesn't have to compete, but we will truly miss her. She is older so I don't know how long we have, and I'm OK with that. It would be awful to know I only had 3 months, I would rather just enjoy the time without knowing.
I got up and had my little drama with Ron, then we went to the warehouse. We got our supplies, I forgot some important items due to stress and sleep deprivation, but we will manage.
Chuck came (Jack is out of town), and one of "my guys" loaded the truck for us. It began pouring on the way to work, Houston is the home of the scattered shower. [Bad word] the merchandise got soaked. So did I. I got the carts out of the stockroom and loaded them up. Ron helped as much as he could, which wasn't much.
That's OK. I didn't marry Mr Beefcake, I married a blind guy in a wheelchair. I had a pretty good idea what I was signing up for, physically. I will say that. The rest of it, I was clueless, but I expected he would be physically limited, and deteriorate as time went by, and I was right.
So we got everything in the building. We started stocking. I wanted to sit at a table, worry, and eat snack foods until the boss showed up, but I didn't think that exhibited a good work ethic. So I went to work stocking.
I also helped Ron, as always. Ron was in the stockroom when the boss showed up. He sat us down and took out a huge sheaf of forms.
Now, all we knew is he wanted to see us right away, about our audit. Sure enough, it was about the audit. Basically, what it came down to, we need to submit certain forms when we get audited, we need to fill out certain forms every month regardless of whether we are being audited, and we need to submit more documentation. Oh, and we will face another audit in 6 months since we "failed" this one.
So, it was OK. I need to get a new printer, though. This one doesn't work very well. I will need the ability to print things off the 'net and file them every month. Ideally, I will install some sort of "office" program on this computer so Ron can "give" me the spreadsheets he does every month.
[side note, Ron decided a while back, due to temptation, he would rather not be online himself, just have me do things for him. I heartily approve.] So I need to do all this in the next month or so. Ron will buy me the printer, I just hope I can get it to work with my browser. The current one just prints blank pages. And I have ink.
So, a lot of things to do, but we are OK, and so is the business. He gave us all our papers back (!) and a big sheaf of blank forms to fill out every month (just go to a copy shop when you run low, he said). Then he left.
We went back to stocking and did that until we were happy. Ron was thinking we would come in on Monday, but I reminded him it's a holiday. Oh, yeah. He checked, our sandwich delivery (normally Mondays) will be coming in on Tuesday instead. So we get an extra-long weekend. Nice. Especially nice after all the drama.
Ron called and took our ride off of hold, he had suspended it when the boss came. They said they could send someone to pick us up in an hour and a half. Ron didn't want to wait that long. So he cancelled the paratransit pickup and called a regular cab to come get us.
It is always surprising to me when we get a cab to our location. It's such a horrible neighborhood the bus driver who took me there, weeks ago, actually asked me if I was sure I wanted to get off at that stop! But he came pretty quick and took us home.
Ron had made a trip to Denny's for later, but I had a little time for a nap. I laid down, and by the time I fell asleep I had to get up. But Torbie laid by my head (my favorite!). She's a good cat. She really has a lot of personality. Most older cats do. They aren't real frisky but they have personalities and preferences. And they almost all will sleep by my head when they get really old. Which I love. I don't really care if a cat gets in my lap, or even wants a lot of petting. But I love it when they sleep with me, really love it when they sleep by my head. Wonderful.
I bade her a reluctant goodbye and got up, bagging up candy for the servers at the restaurant. Our ride was a little late but not too bad, for a change.
We got there in a timely manner. The other passenger kept making a big point of looking at her watch. Shared ride service, lady. Shared ride.
We got to the store and the servers swarmed me for candy, leaving me with one bag for my ride home. I got my food, Ron got a variation of what he ordered. Our server couldn't figure out how to ring a grilled cheese with ham in it, so they gave him a grilled cheese with a side of ham (they comped him the ham). He ripped open the sandwich and shoved the ham into it, eating it that way. So, he got what he wanted. I ate my food, it was good. We had enough time to eat, and pay, without being rushed.
Our driver to go home was very nice. I showed her a photo of Biscuit when she was at a red light and she said he was "very cute". He is. We got home and I got Ron in the house. He laid down.
He hasn't been complaining as much about his back, lately. Maybe because I have been "babying" him at work and doing all the heavy (over 20 pounds) lifting. Maybe it's just doing better. But he hasn't been moaning about it. I'm sure it still bothers him but it doesn't seem to be "killing" him. He gets, like, a grinding pain (my understanding) that is ongoing and regular. Then he gets agonizing spasms that come and go, and have him reaching for the vodka. He says the vodka helps with the spasms.
Laying down seems to help. He contorts himself into yoga pretzels and seems quite comfortable. The chiropractor said Ron was unusually flexible and "should work in the circus" so I'm sure that helps. If we'd had a kid, I wonder if they would have inherited that ability? That seems kind of cool. Anyway, he's quiet laying down in his bed.
I checked the mail, nothing important (as far as Ron is concerned mail is only good for bringing him talking books), so I'm done for the day. I will watch some TV and go to bed in a while.
Hopefully I will get a good night's sleep for a change, with no nightmares.
Oh, we're going to miss her when she goes. Baby Girl will be happy she doesn't have to compete, but we will truly miss her. She is older so I don't know how long we have, and I'm OK with that. It would be awful to know I only had 3 months, I would rather just enjoy the time without knowing.
I got up and had my little drama with Ron, then we went to the warehouse. We got our supplies, I forgot some important items due to stress and sleep deprivation, but we will manage.
Chuck came (Jack is out of town), and one of "my guys" loaded the truck for us. It began pouring on the way to work, Houston is the home of the scattered shower. [Bad word] the merchandise got soaked. So did I. I got the carts out of the stockroom and loaded them up. Ron helped as much as he could, which wasn't much.
That's OK. I didn't marry Mr Beefcake, I married a blind guy in a wheelchair. I had a pretty good idea what I was signing up for, physically. I will say that. The rest of it, I was clueless, but I expected he would be physically limited, and deteriorate as time went by, and I was right.
So we got everything in the building. We started stocking. I wanted to sit at a table, worry, and eat snack foods until the boss showed up, but I didn't think that exhibited a good work ethic. So I went to work stocking.
I also helped Ron, as always. Ron was in the stockroom when the boss showed up. He sat us down and took out a huge sheaf of forms.
Now, all we knew is he wanted to see us right away, about our audit. Sure enough, it was about the audit. Basically, what it came down to, we need to submit certain forms when we get audited, we need to fill out certain forms every month regardless of whether we are being audited, and we need to submit more documentation. Oh, and we will face another audit in 6 months since we "failed" this one.
So, it was OK. I need to get a new printer, though. This one doesn't work very well. I will need the ability to print things off the 'net and file them every month. Ideally, I will install some sort of "office" program on this computer so Ron can "give" me the spreadsheets he does every month.
[side note, Ron decided a while back, due to temptation, he would rather not be online himself, just have me do things for him. I heartily approve.] So I need to do all this in the next month or so. Ron will buy me the printer, I just hope I can get it to work with my browser. The current one just prints blank pages. And I have ink.
So, a lot of things to do, but we are OK, and so is the business. He gave us all our papers back (!) and a big sheaf of blank forms to fill out every month (just go to a copy shop when you run low, he said). Then he left.
We went back to stocking and did that until we were happy. Ron was thinking we would come in on Monday, but I reminded him it's a holiday. Oh, yeah. He checked, our sandwich delivery (normally Mondays) will be coming in on Tuesday instead. So we get an extra-long weekend. Nice. Especially nice after all the drama.
Ron called and took our ride off of hold, he had suspended it when the boss came. They said they could send someone to pick us up in an hour and a half. Ron didn't want to wait that long. So he cancelled the paratransit pickup and called a regular cab to come get us.
It is always surprising to me when we get a cab to our location. It's such a horrible neighborhood the bus driver who took me there, weeks ago, actually asked me if I was sure I wanted to get off at that stop! But he came pretty quick and took us home.
Ron had made a trip to Denny's for later, but I had a little time for a nap. I laid down, and by the time I fell asleep I had to get up. But Torbie laid by my head (my favorite!). She's a good cat. She really has a lot of personality. Most older cats do. They aren't real frisky but they have personalities and preferences. And they almost all will sleep by my head when they get really old. Which I love. I don't really care if a cat gets in my lap, or even wants a lot of petting. But I love it when they sleep with me, really love it when they sleep by my head. Wonderful.
I bade her a reluctant goodbye and got up, bagging up candy for the servers at the restaurant. Our ride was a little late but not too bad, for a change.
We got there in a timely manner. The other passenger kept making a big point of looking at her watch. Shared ride service, lady. Shared ride.
We got to the store and the servers swarmed me for candy, leaving me with one bag for my ride home. I got my food, Ron got a variation of what he ordered. Our server couldn't figure out how to ring a grilled cheese with ham in it, so they gave him a grilled cheese with a side of ham (they comped him the ham). He ripped open the sandwich and shoved the ham into it, eating it that way. So, he got what he wanted. I ate my food, it was good. We had enough time to eat, and pay, without being rushed.
Our driver to go home was very nice. I showed her a photo of Biscuit when she was at a red light and she said he was "very cute". He is. We got home and I got Ron in the house. He laid down.
He hasn't been complaining as much about his back, lately. Maybe because I have been "babying" him at work and doing all the heavy (over 20 pounds) lifting. Maybe it's just doing better. But he hasn't been moaning about it. I'm sure it still bothers him but it doesn't seem to be "killing" him. He gets, like, a grinding pain (my understanding) that is ongoing and regular. Then he gets agonizing spasms that come and go, and have him reaching for the vodka. He says the vodka helps with the spasms.
Laying down seems to help. He contorts himself into yoga pretzels and seems quite comfortable. The chiropractor said Ron was unusually flexible and "should work in the circus" so I'm sure that helps. If we'd had a kid, I wonder if they would have inherited that ability? That seems kind of cool. Anyway, he's quiet laying down in his bed.
I checked the mail, nothing important (as far as Ron is concerned mail is only good for bringing him talking books), so I'm done for the day. I will watch some TV and go to bed in a while.
Hopefully I will get a good night's sleep for a change, with no nightmares.
The way I take my pills
I didn't sleep well last night, now Ron is lecturing/cursing me. Why? He decided he doesn't like the way I take my pills. My pills = my business. I get them down every time, what's the big deal? No, I have to do it his way, because everyone takes them that way. According to Ron.
Ron generally swallows his pills dry, but he wasn't advocating that - he wanted me to "take a bite of food, chew it, then put in the pill". I always end up biting into a pill, or it gets stuck in my mouth. It doesn't work. I take it the "normal" way, I think everyone does: take a drink of water or milk, put the pills in, and swallow. Works every time. Worst case I get a Haldol stuck between a tooth and a cheek. But I think everyone does it that way.
I don't tell Ron how to take his pills. I just remind him to do it. I don't get where all the hate, expletives, and name calling is coming from. I don't do that with him. I know we are both worried about today but it's not fair to dump it all out on me.
I almost hope it does go bad, and I can go get another job somewhere else, out from under him. If I'm paying the bills things would change, and quickly. I am tired of waking up after a long, restless night, and being called a stupid bitch, and worse (a word that would get me banned from Blogger) because he's worried.
Why not just tell me he is worried so I could comfort him? No, we're going to attack Heather over something so trivial. I mean, really, out of all the things he could pick, he picked that. I guess I must be doing alright if the only ammunition he has on me is the way I take my pills. At least I take them.
Ron could use a good antidepressant but I don't go on about it, to him, endlessly. I have mentioned it a few times (without expletives and name-calling), and left it. I figure if he decides he wants one, he'll get it. End of story.
I got up, fed the cats, took my shower, got dressed, helped him get dressed. Now we are waiting on our ride to the warehouse. We go to the warehouse, get our supplies, and go to work. Then we have the meeting.
I don't want the business to end, it has been good to us (although Ron will never see that), but I am VERY tired of the ongoing verbal abuse. I just hope Ron doesn't say something to the boss when he's there.
Ron generally swallows his pills dry, but he wasn't advocating that - he wanted me to "take a bite of food, chew it, then put in the pill". I always end up biting into a pill, or it gets stuck in my mouth. It doesn't work. I take it the "normal" way, I think everyone does: take a drink of water or milk, put the pills in, and swallow. Works every time. Worst case I get a Haldol stuck between a tooth and a cheek. But I think everyone does it that way.
I don't tell Ron how to take his pills. I just remind him to do it. I don't get where all the hate, expletives, and name calling is coming from. I don't do that with him. I know we are both worried about today but it's not fair to dump it all out on me.
I almost hope it does go bad, and I can go get another job somewhere else, out from under him. If I'm paying the bills things would change, and quickly. I am tired of waking up after a long, restless night, and being called a stupid bitch, and worse (a word that would get me banned from Blogger) because he's worried.
Why not just tell me he is worried so I could comfort him? No, we're going to attack Heather over something so trivial. I mean, really, out of all the things he could pick, he picked that. I guess I must be doing alright if the only ammunition he has on me is the way I take my pills. At least I take them.
Ron could use a good antidepressant but I don't go on about it, to him, endlessly. I have mentioned it a few times (without expletives and name-calling), and left it. I figure if he decides he wants one, he'll get it. End of story.
I got up, fed the cats, took my shower, got dressed, helped him get dressed. Now we are waiting on our ride to the warehouse. We go to the warehouse, get our supplies, and go to work. Then we have the meeting.
I don't want the business to end, it has been good to us (although Ron will never see that), but I am VERY tired of the ongoing verbal abuse. I just hope Ron doesn't say something to the boss when he's there.
Wednesday, May 23, 2018
I chose this life
Well, I did a little research into Shwarma. It comes from Lebanon/Israel area. They lump it all together and all it "Levantine" area. Odd.
My day: I didn't sleep well, I had nightmares about work. Not surprising. I kept waking up, too. Pretty typical when I am really stressed out.
I didn't have any PTSD nightmares, happily. The other nightmares were nothing in comparison.
Someone on a message board accused me of feeling sorry for myself. I hope I don't come off that way. I like to get things out, is all. It helps me have a better clarity of thought and make better choices. I chose this life, so I will live it: it's that simple.
I woke up late, and took my shower. I did my God Time before I got online. Shame on me, I did not do up any candy before I left today.
Ron was in a good mood, he had gotten a lot of books. He seemed a little upset that, in one book, the woman left her husband for an old boyfriend. Ron's in no danger of that. The only "old boyfriend" on the radar is John, and I unfriended him years ago over his views on abortion.
The way I see it, a child who has been adopted should be pro-life. After all, their mother chose life when she could have had him scraped out during her first trimester. He thought 8 month fetuses, totally viable outside the uterus, should be aborted. That was the final straw.
I met him in 6th grade. We were both outcast kids, a little weird, loved to read - similar tastes in reading. We both liked hiking and, in a lot of ways, had a lot in common. We were friends. Then in the 7th grade John wanted to take it to the next level. I wasn't really ready for that but it was all pretty innocent. Hand holding, walking around, stuff like that.
We dated on and off for years. I would break it off when he got too intense. He really freaked me out after Beetlejuice. He kept talking about how cool it would be if we died, and became ghosts. Huge red flags.
I guess you could say I broke it off for good when I ran off with Ron, but we remained friends. As time went by, we had less and less in common. He turned to paganism/the occult and I became a more devoted Christian. He met the woman he later married, but she and I only had him in common. She felt very threatened by me, and, in front of her, he once said "You're the only woman I've ever loved, Heather". Oh, what do I say to that?
One night he called and said he had to move in with us. Both of them. He got that resolved on his own but Ron and I would have never allowed that.
We moved to Texas. I did not leave him a forwarding address. He found me anyway, somehow, after Ron and I got married. Not only that he found my address and sent me a letter. He was being evicted, and he was glad to see I was doing so well....? I said he couldn't move in with us because I didn't know if he was on drugs (I never got a straight answer), or what. If nothing else he was still a pagan. The Bible says don't be unequally yoked.
So we stayed Facebook friends. That went on for a few years but he became progressively more liberal. He wanted me phone number, I said no. I became more and more upset by what he was posting and it culminated in the abortion thing, so I unfriended him. That was the last I heard of him.
So, I'm not looking to stoke that again. I have met some men, since Ron and I got together, where I thought "If I were single" but that's as far as it went. I have realized, if something happens to Ron, I need to be single for a good while. I have never really been single, living on my own. I went from my Dad's house, to Ron's. I lived "on my own" for a few months while he was at the training program, but I spoke to him every night and saw him every weekend. Not really "alone". The worst thing I could do is run from Ron to someone else. Not that I'm looking to do that.
For one, Ron is very tolerant of my very crappy housekeeping. That's important to me. He doesn't add to it, much, either, but he tolerates what is there.
When am I going to Walmart? Now. So, we went to Walmart. Ron had set it up for a one-way because they were going to "leave us too long". Whenever he sets it up with a cab, though, he ends up spending just as long waiting at the store. One day he will figure that out.
I left Ron up front and did my shopping. I needed more candy for the bags. I needed more bags for the candy. I needed some dairy stuff to eat, and I was absolutely thrilled to find Cabot Extra Sharp White Cheddar cheese blocks. I was so excited I hugged the 2 pound block of cheese. I love this stuff.
I even bought a cheese slicer, which cost almost as much as the cheese, but it will last a while. I haven't had the cheese in a while, I don't know why not, because I love it. How dumb is it to deprive myself of something that is low carb, healthy, and absolutely delicious? I should always have a block of this stuff in the fridge.
I have been eating more keto, and my shoulder is feeling better. It was getting a little stiff again, but I think eating low carb and high fat is the way to go, with it. Not necessarily "keto", but "better".
Ron wanted more shirts. He doesn't like when the medium rubs against his back, as he's putting it on. We tried a large, it worked way better. So I bought 4 more larges. Ron likes a pocket-t, so that's what I got. I am partial to them myself, but if they are a cute color (turquoise, purple) I will forgo the pocket.
I finished all my shopping and got us some food at the McDonald's. Ron and I each got a #2 sandwich. I got a milkshake, but something was wrong with the machine. I couldn't suck the milkshake with the straw, the straw kept collapsing. I finally left it sitting in the sun and let it melt for a while, that worked. Our ride took about 20 minutes, would have been faster to take paratransit. It's not like Ron has to pay for it, he has a pass, it is unlimited.
I put the litter up in the trunk. I'd told Ron the packaging was damaged, he was worried about it spilling. I had to tell him it was 4 sealed bags, wrapped in more plastic. The outer plastic was damaged, not the bags. I checked. I put everything away and we went home. He was a nice driver.
He helped put stuff up in the garage, which I appreciated. I got Ron in the garage, closed the door, and then put everything up in the house. Then I took a nap. More nightmares about work, but I also had an interesting one about learning Greek so I could read the New Testament in the original language. That is something I have thought about doing. A lot of hard core Biblical scholars do that. I don't think the books are very expensive. It's something I very well might do in the future.
I got up, took out the trash, the trash came and took it all away. I bagged up candy (I got some fun new "sour" candy) for a while and did my God Time, then I got online.
Now I'm about to carve off a slice of cheese and eat it with some pepperoni, for dinner. Yum.
My day: I didn't sleep well, I had nightmares about work. Not surprising. I kept waking up, too. Pretty typical when I am really stressed out.
I didn't have any PTSD nightmares, happily. The other nightmares were nothing in comparison.
Someone on a message board accused me of feeling sorry for myself. I hope I don't come off that way. I like to get things out, is all. It helps me have a better clarity of thought and make better choices. I chose this life, so I will live it: it's that simple.
I woke up late, and took my shower. I did my God Time before I got online. Shame on me, I did not do up any candy before I left today.
Ron was in a good mood, he had gotten a lot of books. He seemed a little upset that, in one book, the woman left her husband for an old boyfriend. Ron's in no danger of that. The only "old boyfriend" on the radar is John, and I unfriended him years ago over his views on abortion.
The way I see it, a child who has been adopted should be pro-life. After all, their mother chose life when she could have had him scraped out during her first trimester. He thought 8 month fetuses, totally viable outside the uterus, should be aborted. That was the final straw.
I met him in 6th grade. We were both outcast kids, a little weird, loved to read - similar tastes in reading. We both liked hiking and, in a lot of ways, had a lot in common. We were friends. Then in the 7th grade John wanted to take it to the next level. I wasn't really ready for that but it was all pretty innocent. Hand holding, walking around, stuff like that.
We dated on and off for years. I would break it off when he got too intense. He really freaked me out after Beetlejuice. He kept talking about how cool it would be if we died, and became ghosts. Huge red flags.
I guess you could say I broke it off for good when I ran off with Ron, but we remained friends. As time went by, we had less and less in common. He turned to paganism/the occult and I became a more devoted Christian. He met the woman he later married, but she and I only had him in common. She felt very threatened by me, and, in front of her, he once said "You're the only woman I've ever loved, Heather". Oh, what do I say to that?
One night he called and said he had to move in with us. Both of them. He got that resolved on his own but Ron and I would have never allowed that.
We moved to Texas. I did not leave him a forwarding address. He found me anyway, somehow, after Ron and I got married. Not only that he found my address and sent me a letter. He was being evicted, and he was glad to see I was doing so well....? I said he couldn't move in with us because I didn't know if he was on drugs (I never got a straight answer), or what. If nothing else he was still a pagan. The Bible says don't be unequally yoked.
So we stayed Facebook friends. That went on for a few years but he became progressively more liberal. He wanted me phone number, I said no. I became more and more upset by what he was posting and it culminated in the abortion thing, so I unfriended him. That was the last I heard of him.
So, I'm not looking to stoke that again. I have met some men, since Ron and I got together, where I thought "If I were single" but that's as far as it went. I have realized, if something happens to Ron, I need to be single for a good while. I have never really been single, living on my own. I went from my Dad's house, to Ron's. I lived "on my own" for a few months while he was at the training program, but I spoke to him every night and saw him every weekend. Not really "alone". The worst thing I could do is run from Ron to someone else. Not that I'm looking to do that.
For one, Ron is very tolerant of my very crappy housekeeping. That's important to me. He doesn't add to it, much, either, but he tolerates what is there.
When am I going to Walmart? Now. So, we went to Walmart. Ron had set it up for a one-way because they were going to "leave us too long". Whenever he sets it up with a cab, though, he ends up spending just as long waiting at the store. One day he will figure that out.
I left Ron up front and did my shopping. I needed more candy for the bags. I needed more bags for the candy. I needed some dairy stuff to eat, and I was absolutely thrilled to find Cabot Extra Sharp White Cheddar cheese blocks. I was so excited I hugged the 2 pound block of cheese. I love this stuff.
I even bought a cheese slicer, which cost almost as much as the cheese, but it will last a while. I haven't had the cheese in a while, I don't know why not, because I love it. How dumb is it to deprive myself of something that is low carb, healthy, and absolutely delicious? I should always have a block of this stuff in the fridge.
I have been eating more keto, and my shoulder is feeling better. It was getting a little stiff again, but I think eating low carb and high fat is the way to go, with it. Not necessarily "keto", but "better".
Ron wanted more shirts. He doesn't like when the medium rubs against his back, as he's putting it on. We tried a large, it worked way better. So I bought 4 more larges. Ron likes a pocket-t, so that's what I got. I am partial to them myself, but if they are a cute color (turquoise, purple) I will forgo the pocket.
I finished all my shopping and got us some food at the McDonald's. Ron and I each got a #2 sandwich. I got a milkshake, but something was wrong with the machine. I couldn't suck the milkshake with the straw, the straw kept collapsing. I finally left it sitting in the sun and let it melt for a while, that worked. Our ride took about 20 minutes, would have been faster to take paratransit. It's not like Ron has to pay for it, he has a pass, it is unlimited.
I put the litter up in the trunk. I'd told Ron the packaging was damaged, he was worried about it spilling. I had to tell him it was 4 sealed bags, wrapped in more plastic. The outer plastic was damaged, not the bags. I checked. I put everything away and we went home. He was a nice driver.
He helped put stuff up in the garage, which I appreciated. I got Ron in the garage, closed the door, and then put everything up in the house. Then I took a nap. More nightmares about work, but I also had an interesting one about learning Greek so I could read the New Testament in the original language. That is something I have thought about doing. A lot of hard core Biblical scholars do that. I don't think the books are very expensive. It's something I very well might do in the future.
I got up, took out the trash, the trash came and took it all away. I bagged up candy (I got some fun new "sour" candy) for a while and did my God Time, then I got online.
Now I'm about to carve off a slice of cheese and eat it with some pepperoni, for dinner. Yum.
Tuesday, May 22, 2018
"I need to see you, in my office"
Don't you hate that phrase? "I need to see you in my office"? Instant terror. Hate it, hate it, hate it.
That's been one good thing about working for Ron, I haven't had to hear that much in the last 20 years.
But Ron's boss wants to meet with us, this week. It sounded ominous. He wants 2 hours, minimum, to meet. Some of that is just periodic reports, but he also wants to talk about some other issues.
[gulp]
So we have to meet him in his office, so to speak. He wanted to meet with us tomorrow but Ron said no. I don't think Ron should have said no, but it's not my call. I will have Ron call him tomorrow, or I will send a text, letting him know we won't be there.
There is no such thing as a turnkey, stress-free job. There is always a boss who must be made happy.
So, instead of getting it over with tomorrow, I get to stew an extra day. Oh, goody. But Ron is very stubborn. I can tell there's no budging on this one, assuming we could still make the trip (it's past the paratransit deadline). I will make sure to send the boss a text, and email, to let him know we won't be there.
Enough about that, very little I can do about it. At the end of the day, I'm just the hired lackey. I don't run the business and my name is on NOTHING.
When I quit my office job to go work for Ron, my boss said what I was doing was "very brave" and Ron would "always remember the sacrifices I made for him". I don't know about that. The longer I go the more I realize I made a huge leap of faith, going to work for Ron. I just hope I don't land on my face!
So, today. I slept in until around 8. I deliberately slept in. And I had nightmares again. I am getting really sick of these nightmares. I got up, did some computer, took my shower, did my God Time.
I took a short nap, and had more nightmares. Then I woke up, Ron wanted to go to Chilis. I have a problem eating out, a lot of foods will not agree with my medication. I need simple, bulky, foods. Something like a steak will not agree, and I'll get sick. I have literally vomited my steak after taking my medication. What a waste of money.
I had a nasty headache, so I took some fake Excedrin.
Our pickup was late, one day Ron will learn and factor that into the trips: the pickup is ALWAYS late. Ron was, I felt, rather rude to the driver. I tried to make up for it by being extra nice and appreciative. We got to the restaurant.
The hostess had Down's Syndrome. I have no problem with that. But I could tell she would know nothing about the braille menu, so I didn't ask. Then she tried to seat us next to a table with two babies and a rambunctious toddler. Ron would have objected, strongly.
There were plenty of seats in the restaurant. I asked to be seated somewhere else, and she moved us several tables over. And, sure enough, as soon as we sat down someone started crying. They should have kids' hours, and no-kids hours, at restaurants. The kids could scream, cry, run around,and throw food all they wanted during their time, and adults could enjoy the peace and quiet during theirs. Or, like one woman I know, keep them home until they are old enough to behave in a restaurant.
I read the menu to Ron. He was split between a couple of different things. I found a bacon cheeseburger that looked pretty safe. It had a bunch of spreads on it, so, when I ordered it, I asked for it plain, no onions. Ron ordered chicken tenders.
We didn't have much time (45 minutes) so we were a little worried about having enough time to eat. But the food came out OK and I ate it. I dripped a lot of grease, but not on my clothes, thank God. Ron enjoyed his chicken. The hamburger was very good and I took my medication. I didn't have any problems, either.
Lithium hates steak, but loves a hamburger. At least, my pills do. So I eat the hamburger. It's good, juicy (usually), and I don't get sick.
If I had more time, I might have looked at the desserts, but we had to go. Of course our ride to go home was also late, so we got our hour, total. We just spent some of it waiting outside. We had a straight trip home, talking about food with the driver and her trainee.
When we got home, I went through my emails. A couple of emails from the boss, basically saying what he had said in Ron's voicemail. I just sent him a email back confirming we will see him Thursday. Hopefully he gets that, the voicemail, or the text message I will send tomorrow and doesn't show up at work. That would not go well.
I noticed the cats were hanging out in the computer room, and also noticed the bowl was empty (I keep the food bowl in the computer room, out of Ron's way and easily accessible for all the cats). They weren't begging, so I fed them. Also, the bowl was totally empty.
I like to feed them when the bowl is totally empty. And when they are not begging. I want to teach them I see when they need food, and will provide it without nagging. Don't get me wrong, the begging is cute, but I want them to have some trust I will provide, too. They all got up to eat, and then the girls left. I am here with Biscuit lying on my left foot, stretched out and cute.
I also got a message from Go Fund me, that I got another donation. At this rate I will be able to buy another 100 Bibles in pretty short order. This will drive one person nuts, but God always seems to provide more cash when I am running out of Bibles. I guess He is rewarding me for all the years I shoveled my own money into the program. I am very careful to be a good steward. I always want my money going into the program, and no money coming toward me, just toward the Bibles. I hope that makes sense. I did tell the sponsor that I have a free shipping coupon, so I will be able to spend all her (I did get her name) money on Bibles alone. If I donated money toward Bibles, I would want it to go toward just that.
One day in the future, I need to go to Mardel and print/laminate more signs. My current signs are pretty trashed. On the plus side, they are so battered it is apparent I have been doing this a while. Hopefully my aunt can take me, it's out of the paratransit area, and way off the bus lines.
Huge parts of the world I can't see, because I'm disabled. At least I can see. My body works pretty well from the neck down. I've never had to pay for a water pump or timing chain, though. So there's that.
That would be a good argument if I were looking for another job: I don't drive, but you can pay me less because I don't have car expenses. I might go for that if I were hiring.
When Ron was hiring, he hired one doozy named Anna. She showed up for the job interview in a BMW, driven by her husband, who "borrowed" it from work. She was dressed like a hooker, in a very revealing outfit. Ron hired her. She tried to put a stainless steel bucket in the microwave. Couldn't understand why I yelled at her to stop. Couldn't do the work, period. Kept showing baby pictures of her little niece to everyone and saying her big goal in life was to be a mommy. That's fine, but we needed someone who could do the work, stable, reliable. She was none of that. She quit after a couple of weeks. All the other employees hated her.
Another employee came to us with the business. She was an older woman, one of those gray-haired ladies who dyes her hair black, and it looks really harsh. She wore a harsh red lipstick, too. Always sitting down, talking, not doing the work. If you called her on it "Oh, this is my second job" (implied, I spent all my energy on the first one). Lied to the customers, lied to us, took 2 weeks off with no notice because her daughter had a miscarriage. I never got that one at all. She ended up quitting because it was "too hard" (read: we expected her to work). She actually called Ron back a couple years later, trying to get re-hired. He regretfully told her no, and then when he hung up, we had a good laugh over it. Of all the former employees she's the last we'd take back.
Now, my favorite. Debbie. She was a great employee, very outgoing, talked a lot, but a very hard worker. She would tell you all about her grandkids while doing the dishes, or slicing tomatoes. Did all the work and then some before she would sit down and rest. One time someone ran a forklift into our soda storage area and knocked down dozens of cases of soda. She stayed hours after quitting time, picking up the sodas, because she knew Ron would have to do it if she didn't. Great lady. I wish we had the financial to get her back. She left when we closed the deli. She was great with the vending machines, too. Great customer service. All around: great. Her current boss is lucky to have her.
Lest I leave you on a negative note. Debbie made a hard job a lot easier. The others were varying degrees of helpful but she was,without a doubt, my favorite. I know an employer is not supposed to play favorites but it was very hard not to do so.
I am pretty worried about Thursday but there's nothing I can do to prevent it. I will just have to make sure Ron is presentable, and take him to work. Awww, Biscuit is showing me his fat, white, tummy. I need to pet it. He lets me, when he's like that. Torbie is the only one who doesn't like her tummy rubbed. Baby Girl is good for a pet or two, if she's showing her tummy. Only if it is showing, if they give the tummy, then I can take it. Awww, and he's snoring. How cute. I have to say, my cats are adorable.
And I finally got smart. My hair was down my back, itching and hot. Ron and I like it pretty warm in the house, in the summer. That's fine if I have short hair. Not so good when it's halfway down my back. Itch. Hot. Ugh.
So I finally got smart and did the thing I had been telling myself to do: got a hair clip out of the bathroom and pinned my hair up on top of my head. MUCH better. I can see why so many old-timey women wore their hair up. It's a lot cooler.
Although I am style impaired. My stepmother never taught me how to do my hair. She just kept it cut very short, so I never had anything to play with, growing up. Don't get me wrong, it was a good hair style for someone very prone to crippling depressions. Nothing to groom, really, just wash and a quick brush every day. But once I grew it out, I'm like, what do I do with it? I put it up in a clip, not really a bun, just "up". I put it in a ponytail. Occasionally, I wear it down. But that's the extent of my style repertoire. That might be a problem if I were back working in a formal office setting, but I've noted, even in a formal setting, a lot of women have a ponytail. But I'd rather stay away from a formal office setting. All the time and money spent on clothes to wear to work! Having to wear walking shoes to work and then put on the "cute" shoes. No thanks. I would rather have a job where I can wear my steel toed shoes to work every day. That's a good life goal.
Actually, the ideal job I could wear my flip flops to work every day! [grin] But that wouldn't work.
So, once I log off I will send the boss an email - agh, a TEXT about tomorrow. I will watch some TV to get my mind of off things. I will think about what I need at Walmart tomorrow, because the last couple times I have forgotten things I needed. Biscuit is still so cute. I'm going to hate to leave him when I get up.
Torbie's off somewhere, God only knows. Baby Girl is most likely in proximity to Ron, being Daddy's Girl. I can wait on doing the litter tonight, but I need to do it tomorrow. It will take my mind off of things.
[sigh] If you pray, I could use some prayer. Nightmares, depression, dealing-with-Ron, and now this boss thing. Oh, and the headaches. Can't forget them.
As always, I'm praying for you everyday.
That's been one good thing about working for Ron, I haven't had to hear that much in the last 20 years.
But Ron's boss wants to meet with us, this week. It sounded ominous. He wants 2 hours, minimum, to meet. Some of that is just periodic reports, but he also wants to talk about some other issues.
[gulp]
So we have to meet him in his office, so to speak. He wanted to meet with us tomorrow but Ron said no. I don't think Ron should have said no, but it's not my call. I will have Ron call him tomorrow, or I will send a text, letting him know we won't be there.
There is no such thing as a turnkey, stress-free job. There is always a boss who must be made happy.
So, instead of getting it over with tomorrow, I get to stew an extra day. Oh, goody. But Ron is very stubborn. I can tell there's no budging on this one, assuming we could still make the trip (it's past the paratransit deadline). I will make sure to send the boss a text, and email, to let him know we won't be there.
Enough about that, very little I can do about it. At the end of the day, I'm just the hired lackey. I don't run the business and my name is on NOTHING.
When I quit my office job to go work for Ron, my boss said what I was doing was "very brave" and Ron would "always remember the sacrifices I made for him". I don't know about that. The longer I go the more I realize I made a huge leap of faith, going to work for Ron. I just hope I don't land on my face!
So, today. I slept in until around 8. I deliberately slept in. And I had nightmares again. I am getting really sick of these nightmares. I got up, did some computer, took my shower, did my God Time.
I took a short nap, and had more nightmares. Then I woke up, Ron wanted to go to Chilis. I have a problem eating out, a lot of foods will not agree with my medication. I need simple, bulky, foods. Something like a steak will not agree, and I'll get sick. I have literally vomited my steak after taking my medication. What a waste of money.
I had a nasty headache, so I took some fake Excedrin.
Our pickup was late, one day Ron will learn and factor that into the trips: the pickup is ALWAYS late. Ron was, I felt, rather rude to the driver. I tried to make up for it by being extra nice and appreciative. We got to the restaurant.
The hostess had Down's Syndrome. I have no problem with that. But I could tell she would know nothing about the braille menu, so I didn't ask. Then she tried to seat us next to a table with two babies and a rambunctious toddler. Ron would have objected, strongly.
There were plenty of seats in the restaurant. I asked to be seated somewhere else, and she moved us several tables over. And, sure enough, as soon as we sat down someone started crying. They should have kids' hours, and no-kids hours, at restaurants. The kids could scream, cry, run around,and throw food all they wanted during their time, and adults could enjoy the peace and quiet during theirs. Or, like one woman I know, keep them home until they are old enough to behave in a restaurant.
I read the menu to Ron. He was split between a couple of different things. I found a bacon cheeseburger that looked pretty safe. It had a bunch of spreads on it, so, when I ordered it, I asked for it plain, no onions. Ron ordered chicken tenders.
We didn't have much time (45 minutes) so we were a little worried about having enough time to eat. But the food came out OK and I ate it. I dripped a lot of grease, but not on my clothes, thank God. Ron enjoyed his chicken. The hamburger was very good and I took my medication. I didn't have any problems, either.
Lithium hates steak, but loves a hamburger. At least, my pills do. So I eat the hamburger. It's good, juicy (usually), and I don't get sick.
If I had more time, I might have looked at the desserts, but we had to go. Of course our ride to go home was also late, so we got our hour, total. We just spent some of it waiting outside. We had a straight trip home, talking about food with the driver and her trainee.
When we got home, I went through my emails. A couple of emails from the boss, basically saying what he had said in Ron's voicemail. I just sent him a email back confirming we will see him Thursday. Hopefully he gets that, the voicemail, or the text message I will send tomorrow and doesn't show up at work. That would not go well.
I noticed the cats were hanging out in the computer room, and also noticed the bowl was empty (I keep the food bowl in the computer room, out of Ron's way and easily accessible for all the cats). They weren't begging, so I fed them. Also, the bowl was totally empty.
I like to feed them when the bowl is totally empty. And when they are not begging. I want to teach them I see when they need food, and will provide it without nagging. Don't get me wrong, the begging is cute, but I want them to have some trust I will provide, too. They all got up to eat, and then the girls left. I am here with Biscuit lying on my left foot, stretched out and cute.
I also got a message from Go Fund me, that I got another donation. At this rate I will be able to buy another 100 Bibles in pretty short order. This will drive one person nuts, but God always seems to provide more cash when I am running out of Bibles. I guess He is rewarding me for all the years I shoveled my own money into the program. I am very careful to be a good steward. I always want my money going into the program, and no money coming toward me, just toward the Bibles. I hope that makes sense. I did tell the sponsor that I have a free shipping coupon, so I will be able to spend all her (I did get her name) money on Bibles alone. If I donated money toward Bibles, I would want it to go toward just that.
One day in the future, I need to go to Mardel and print/laminate more signs. My current signs are pretty trashed. On the plus side, they are so battered it is apparent I have been doing this a while. Hopefully my aunt can take me, it's out of the paratransit area, and way off the bus lines.
Huge parts of the world I can't see, because I'm disabled. At least I can see. My body works pretty well from the neck down. I've never had to pay for a water pump or timing chain, though. So there's that.
That would be a good argument if I were looking for another job: I don't drive, but you can pay me less because I don't have car expenses. I might go for that if I were hiring.
When Ron was hiring, he hired one doozy named Anna. She showed up for the job interview in a BMW, driven by her husband, who "borrowed" it from work. She was dressed like a hooker, in a very revealing outfit. Ron hired her. She tried to put a stainless steel bucket in the microwave. Couldn't understand why I yelled at her to stop. Couldn't do the work, period. Kept showing baby pictures of her little niece to everyone and saying her big goal in life was to be a mommy. That's fine, but we needed someone who could do the work, stable, reliable. She was none of that. She quit after a couple of weeks. All the other employees hated her.
Another employee came to us with the business. She was an older woman, one of those gray-haired ladies who dyes her hair black, and it looks really harsh. She wore a harsh red lipstick, too. Always sitting down, talking, not doing the work. If you called her on it "Oh, this is my second job" (implied, I spent all my energy on the first one). Lied to the customers, lied to us, took 2 weeks off with no notice because her daughter had a miscarriage. I never got that one at all. She ended up quitting because it was "too hard" (read: we expected her to work). She actually called Ron back a couple years later, trying to get re-hired. He regretfully told her no, and then when he hung up, we had a good laugh over it. Of all the former employees she's the last we'd take back.
Now, my favorite. Debbie. She was a great employee, very outgoing, talked a lot, but a very hard worker. She would tell you all about her grandkids while doing the dishes, or slicing tomatoes. Did all the work and then some before she would sit down and rest. One time someone ran a forklift into our soda storage area and knocked down dozens of cases of soda. She stayed hours after quitting time, picking up the sodas, because she knew Ron would have to do it if she didn't. Great lady. I wish we had the financial to get her back. She left when we closed the deli. She was great with the vending machines, too. Great customer service. All around: great. Her current boss is lucky to have her.
Lest I leave you on a negative note. Debbie made a hard job a lot easier. The others were varying degrees of helpful but she was,without a doubt, my favorite. I know an employer is not supposed to play favorites but it was very hard not to do so.
I am pretty worried about Thursday but there's nothing I can do to prevent it. I will just have to make sure Ron is presentable, and take him to work. Awww, Biscuit is showing me his fat, white, tummy. I need to pet it. He lets me, when he's like that. Torbie is the only one who doesn't like her tummy rubbed. Baby Girl is good for a pet or two, if she's showing her tummy. Only if it is showing, if they give the tummy, then I can take it. Awww, and he's snoring. How cute. I have to say, my cats are adorable.
And I finally got smart. My hair was down my back, itching and hot. Ron and I like it pretty warm in the house, in the summer. That's fine if I have short hair. Not so good when it's halfway down my back. Itch. Hot. Ugh.
So I finally got smart and did the thing I had been telling myself to do: got a hair clip out of the bathroom and pinned my hair up on top of my head. MUCH better. I can see why so many old-timey women wore their hair up. It's a lot cooler.
Although I am style impaired. My stepmother never taught me how to do my hair. She just kept it cut very short, so I never had anything to play with, growing up. Don't get me wrong, it was a good hair style for someone very prone to crippling depressions. Nothing to groom, really, just wash and a quick brush every day. But once I grew it out, I'm like, what do I do with it? I put it up in a clip, not really a bun, just "up". I put it in a ponytail. Occasionally, I wear it down. But that's the extent of my style repertoire. That might be a problem if I were back working in a formal office setting, but I've noted, even in a formal setting, a lot of women have a ponytail. But I'd rather stay away from a formal office setting. All the time and money spent on clothes to wear to work! Having to wear walking shoes to work and then put on the "cute" shoes. No thanks. I would rather have a job where I can wear my steel toed shoes to work every day. That's a good life goal.
Actually, the ideal job I could wear my flip flops to work every day! [grin] But that wouldn't work.
So, once I log off I will send the boss an email - agh, a TEXT about tomorrow. I will watch some TV to get my mind of off things. I will think about what I need at Walmart tomorrow, because the last couple times I have forgotten things I needed. Biscuit is still so cute. I'm going to hate to leave him when I get up.
Torbie's off somewhere, God only knows. Baby Girl is most likely in proximity to Ron, being Daddy's Girl. I can wait on doing the litter tonight, but I need to do it tomorrow. It will take my mind off of things.
[sigh] If you pray, I could use some prayer. Nightmares, depression, dealing-with-Ron, and now this boss thing. Oh, and the headaches. Can't forget them.
As always, I'm praying for you everyday.
Monday, May 21, 2018
Migraine
Well, I didn't have a nightmare. I had a migraine.
I woke up from my nap with a *bad headache*. I took Excedrin. It didn't help, got worse. I thought I had better take a Phenergan so I could get some sleep. It helps me rest even though it isn't a sleeping pill.
I held it down for about half an hour before I vomited. Not fun. Since I didn't have much in my stomach, it was particularly unpleasant. I went back to bed and spent a pretty miserable night. I slept as late as possible this morning, if you can call it sleeping.
I still had a headache, not as bad, but around. I took Excedrin and that helped. We went to work. I ate a pastry and had a cold Diet Dr Pepper. That helped a lot. I did my work and helped Ron with his. We got it all done.
I am pleased to announce my Tropical Skittles have proven popular. I had to restock them. I did sandwiches, too.
At least we sold them all, I was getting sick of throwing them out when they expired. I had told Ron to cut the order, it looks like a good thing he didn't. One woman confronted me one day, said we should be thrown out of the building. She thought we did all the vending. She was raving about what if they called overtime and there was no food in the food vending machines? She kept going on about that, at length. I thought "Go to (the gas station one block away)" but I didn't say it as she was so agitated. I have plenty of food in there now, just not perishable food. I have things like Vienna Sausage, nice long shelf life, good cold (it's a refrigerated food machine), I also have Slim-Fast shakes, etc. So they can't say the machine is "empty".
We are supposed to get a new food machine this year. When they bring it, I plan to send the old one back. Old ones tend to come with a lot of repairs. The old one has been very reliable, but how long can it keep going? I don't want to have it ordered for us, we decline it, they give it to someone else, ours breaks, and we deal with irate employees because we "don't have any food" (except for what's in the snack machines!), and then have a long wait on another one. He also said he wants to get us a new snack machine, so I will send back #3. #3 has had some "ripping off the customers" issues in the past so I want it gone.
I also heard some women gossiping about the royal wedding this weekend. Let's just say I wouldn't want those women mad at me. They were vicious. Said some really nasty things I won't repeat.
Now, if they'll gossip to you, they'll gossip about you. Good point to remember. But this was just savage character mutilation. If I had made a video of it, they would have kicked my butt to keep it from getting posted online.
I'm glad I didn't get much of the gossip thrown in my face, after Ron's accident. What I got (the accident was all my fault, etc., even though I didn't run over him) was bad enough. Most people were polite enough not to stab me to my face.
We came home. Our ride was early, that made me really happy. It's funny how God works. I had wanted to do up candy last night, but I was lucky to do up my pills. I couldn't work in the computer room because I have an air freshener. It was killing my head. So I only had 2 bags of candy for today's drivers, a bag of regular candy, and a bag of Mexican candy.
I gave the regular candy to our first driver. Happily, our second driver was Mexican. I gave her the candy and we went home.
I was pretty groggy and tired, so I went to bed. I slept with Torbie, who is awesome as usual. She's really a perfect cat. I got up around 3 and got on the computer, watched a little TV, etc. I can hear Ron trying to persuade Baby Girl into his bed. He wants her to sleep with him, but she won't because Torbie is in the bed.
Ron has been trying to find a "new" restaurant for us to visit. He is bored with our current selection, but he doesn't want to go to anywhere like a Vietnamese Pho house. One time, I'd like to go and see how I like it. But it could give me a migraine.
Ugh. Migraines. At least I am over it now.
I woke up from my nap with a *bad headache*. I took Excedrin. It didn't help, got worse. I thought I had better take a Phenergan so I could get some sleep. It helps me rest even though it isn't a sleeping pill.
I held it down for about half an hour before I vomited. Not fun. Since I didn't have much in my stomach, it was particularly unpleasant. I went back to bed and spent a pretty miserable night. I slept as late as possible this morning, if you can call it sleeping.
I still had a headache, not as bad, but around. I took Excedrin and that helped. We went to work. I ate a pastry and had a cold Diet Dr Pepper. That helped a lot. I did my work and helped Ron with his. We got it all done.
I am pleased to announce my Tropical Skittles have proven popular. I had to restock them. I did sandwiches, too.
At least we sold them all, I was getting sick of throwing them out when they expired. I had told Ron to cut the order, it looks like a good thing he didn't. One woman confronted me one day, said we should be thrown out of the building. She thought we did all the vending. She was raving about what if they called overtime and there was no food in the food vending machines? She kept going on about that, at length. I thought "Go to (the gas station one block away)" but I didn't say it as she was so agitated. I have plenty of food in there now, just not perishable food. I have things like Vienna Sausage, nice long shelf life, good cold (it's a refrigerated food machine), I also have Slim-Fast shakes, etc. So they can't say the machine is "empty".
We are supposed to get a new food machine this year. When they bring it, I plan to send the old one back. Old ones tend to come with a lot of repairs. The old one has been very reliable, but how long can it keep going? I don't want to have it ordered for us, we decline it, they give it to someone else, ours breaks, and we deal with irate employees because we "don't have any food" (except for what's in the snack machines!), and then have a long wait on another one. He also said he wants to get us a new snack machine, so I will send back #3. #3 has had some "ripping off the customers" issues in the past so I want it gone.
I also heard some women gossiping about the royal wedding this weekend. Let's just say I wouldn't want those women mad at me. They were vicious. Said some really nasty things I won't repeat.
Now, if they'll gossip to you, they'll gossip about you. Good point to remember. But this was just savage character mutilation. If I had made a video of it, they would have kicked my butt to keep it from getting posted online.
I'm glad I didn't get much of the gossip thrown in my face, after Ron's accident. What I got (the accident was all my fault, etc., even though I didn't run over him) was bad enough. Most people were polite enough not to stab me to my face.
We came home. Our ride was early, that made me really happy. It's funny how God works. I had wanted to do up candy last night, but I was lucky to do up my pills. I couldn't work in the computer room because I have an air freshener. It was killing my head. So I only had 2 bags of candy for today's drivers, a bag of regular candy, and a bag of Mexican candy.
I gave the regular candy to our first driver. Happily, our second driver was Mexican. I gave her the candy and we went home.
I was pretty groggy and tired, so I went to bed. I slept with Torbie, who is awesome as usual. She's really a perfect cat. I got up around 3 and got on the computer, watched a little TV, etc. I can hear Ron trying to persuade Baby Girl into his bed. He wants her to sleep with him, but she won't because Torbie is in the bed.
Ron has been trying to find a "new" restaurant for us to visit. He is bored with our current selection, but he doesn't want to go to anywhere like a Vietnamese Pho house. One time, I'd like to go and see how I like it. But it could give me a migraine.
Ugh. Migraines. At least I am over it now.
Sunday, May 20, 2018
2 days in one, again
Yesterday was pretty uneventful. We went to the warehouse, got our supplies, went to work and stocked.
Jack will be out of town next week so God knows what we will be doing this week. We came home.
I took a nap. I have been having a lot of nightmares about my family lately and it's tiresome. I want to rest when I sleep, not relive.
We went to Denny's. Ron had this big trip planned with a cab ride (he paid for) to go there so we wouldn't be there "too long". That worked OK, but they were slow at the restaurant and they almost didn't get us our food in time. Our pickup ride was early, but not too much.
We went home. Ron continues to have difficultly getting in and out of the vehicles. If he has trouble with a cab, I hate to think what he's going to do with Chuck's pickup truck. It could be awkward.
I called my parents, they are looking forward to their visit. She's doing a lot of birdwatching. We talked for about half an hour. I did not tell them about the nightmares, although they mentioned something about one of my abusers.
I went to bed. I slept pretty well but I had, wait for it: nightmares. Really tired of this. My depression has been pretty manageable but the nightmares are like a tick, they keep hanging on.
I got online and did some computer stuff. I will be taking my shower and then doing my God Time, and a nap.
When I get up from the nap, I will be doing up my pills. I took my last dose this morning. Boy, that sounds ominous. I just took the last dose in the pill organizer.
Then probably housework. I need to change the sheets on our beds. I also need to bag up more candy with tracts and Scripture booklets.
I'll come back later. Sorry I didn't post yesterday.
Jack will be out of town next week so God knows what we will be doing this week. We came home.
I took a nap. I have been having a lot of nightmares about my family lately and it's tiresome. I want to rest when I sleep, not relive.
We went to Denny's. Ron had this big trip planned with a cab ride (he paid for) to go there so we wouldn't be there "too long". That worked OK, but they were slow at the restaurant and they almost didn't get us our food in time. Our pickup ride was early, but not too much.
We went home. Ron continues to have difficultly getting in and out of the vehicles. If he has trouble with a cab, I hate to think what he's going to do with Chuck's pickup truck. It could be awkward.
I called my parents, they are looking forward to their visit. She's doing a lot of birdwatching. We talked for about half an hour. I did not tell them about the nightmares, although they mentioned something about one of my abusers.
I went to bed. I slept pretty well but I had, wait for it: nightmares. Really tired of this. My depression has been pretty manageable but the nightmares are like a tick, they keep hanging on.
I got online and did some computer stuff. I will be taking my shower and then doing my God Time, and a nap.
When I get up from the nap, I will be doing up my pills. I took my last dose this morning. Boy, that sounds ominous. I just took the last dose in the pill organizer.
Then probably housework. I need to change the sheets on our beds. I also need to bag up more candy with tracts and Scripture booklets.
I'll come back later. Sorry I didn't post yesterday.
Friday, May 18, 2018
Sandworm
So, another school shooting. While I am sad for the victim's families, I am not horrified and aghast the way many are. This hit pretty close to home, not far from Houston, but I have already been inoculated.
There was a terrible workplace shooting at my Dad's office when I was 13. I sat in front of the TV watching them bring out body bags, wondering if one of them was my father. Wondering where I would end up if he died. They didn't have cell phones back then, not for average people, so we had to just wait until he came home - or didn't. It was a very bad couple of hours and it eventually landed me in the hospital.
After that - another shooting. Too bad. I have scar tissue. I don't believe anything will ever beat that, except maybe if I am actually present during an event.
I slept late, until 8:30 AM. I bagged up candy, got on the computer for a while, and then took my shower. I did most of my God Time and then took a nap. Torbie joined me. It was awesome.
I got up and finished my God Time, Torbie climbed in my lap without an invitation, making my prayer time even more awesome. I kept thinking about the passage where Jesus says when 2 or more are gathered, He is with them. So He was with us. Then I helped Ron get ready. Our ride was very late, almost an hour. She was a nice driver, though.
Ron had a lot of trouble getting from his wheelchair into the seat. The driver had to help him. If this keeps up, pretty soon he won't be able to "transfer" at all, and will have to ride in the back. He hates riding in the back.
We had a straight trip but got stuck in traffic. We arrived at Denny's 25 minutes before our pickup. Ron kept calling, trying to "fix" the ride, but they were totally overwhelmed. We ate very fast and had to take most of our food to-go, because, of course, the ride to go home was right on time.
I liked talking to her. She was pretty open about her faith so I talked a little about the Bible Handouts. She was very interested. I told her where I buy mine, and when we got home, I gave her an old catalog. She can order them in bulk, now, if she wants.
I fed the cats and then I cleaned the litter box. I had a surprise in the back bedroom box, a huge roach emerged out of the litter, like a "sandworm" from "Dune", and charged me. I managed to kill it with the scoop (it's metal), and put it in the trash along with the other waste.
I use baits, because it isn't safe to use poison around the cats. It is very effective but now and then I see one. It's Texas.
It's always the big flying one, not the little German one. They probably get in through the cat door, plus Ron likes to leave the door to the garage open so the cats can explore. We have some significant gaps in the garage door, so I'm sure they get in that way, too. And the cats might be catching them outside and bringing them in to "play". I have to admit, though, hiding in the litter box was a good move. Until I went to scoop!
I haven't seen any insects in the house since the flood. Remember all the ants? It was horrible. Ron was getting drunk and spraying insecticide all over himself, caused a horrible rash. The borax + sugar did the trick, though. I need to get some more borax, though.
I have to go to bed early tonight, it's an early day tomorrow, but I finish early, too. It shouldn't be too bad. It will be hot, though.
I hear rumors we might get a tropical thing in town on Monday. Ron told me he has 2 bottles of vodka left so he should be fine, and I just need to get him to replace the batteries he borrowed from me today. He uses a lot for his wireless headphones, digital recorder, etc.
Take care, I am praying for you.
There was a terrible workplace shooting at my Dad's office when I was 13. I sat in front of the TV watching them bring out body bags, wondering if one of them was my father. Wondering where I would end up if he died. They didn't have cell phones back then, not for average people, so we had to just wait until he came home - or didn't. It was a very bad couple of hours and it eventually landed me in the hospital.
After that - another shooting. Too bad. I have scar tissue. I don't believe anything will ever beat that, except maybe if I am actually present during an event.
I slept late, until 8:30 AM. I bagged up candy, got on the computer for a while, and then took my shower. I did most of my God Time and then took a nap. Torbie joined me. It was awesome.
I got up and finished my God Time, Torbie climbed in my lap without an invitation, making my prayer time even more awesome. I kept thinking about the passage where Jesus says when 2 or more are gathered, He is with them. So He was with us. Then I helped Ron get ready. Our ride was very late, almost an hour. She was a nice driver, though.
Ron had a lot of trouble getting from his wheelchair into the seat. The driver had to help him. If this keeps up, pretty soon he won't be able to "transfer" at all, and will have to ride in the back. He hates riding in the back.
We had a straight trip but got stuck in traffic. We arrived at Denny's 25 minutes before our pickup. Ron kept calling, trying to "fix" the ride, but they were totally overwhelmed. We ate very fast and had to take most of our food to-go, because, of course, the ride to go home was right on time.
I liked talking to her. She was pretty open about her faith so I talked a little about the Bible Handouts. She was very interested. I told her where I buy mine, and when we got home, I gave her an old catalog. She can order them in bulk, now, if she wants.
I fed the cats and then I cleaned the litter box. I had a surprise in the back bedroom box, a huge roach emerged out of the litter, like a "sandworm" from "Dune", and charged me. I managed to kill it with the scoop (it's metal), and put it in the trash along with the other waste.
I use baits, because it isn't safe to use poison around the cats. It is very effective but now and then I see one. It's Texas.
It's always the big flying one, not the little German one. They probably get in through the cat door, plus Ron likes to leave the door to the garage open so the cats can explore. We have some significant gaps in the garage door, so I'm sure they get in that way, too. And the cats might be catching them outside and bringing them in to "play". I have to admit, though, hiding in the litter box was a good move. Until I went to scoop!
I haven't seen any insects in the house since the flood. Remember all the ants? It was horrible. Ron was getting drunk and spraying insecticide all over himself, caused a horrible rash. The borax + sugar did the trick, though. I need to get some more borax, though.
I have to go to bed early tonight, it's an early day tomorrow, but I finish early, too. It shouldn't be too bad. It will be hot, though.
I hear rumors we might get a tropical thing in town on Monday. Ron told me he has 2 bottles of vodka left so he should be fine, and I just need to get him to replace the batteries he borrowed from me today. He uses a lot for his wireless headphones, digital recorder, etc.
Take care, I am praying for you.
Thursday, May 17, 2018
My Thursday
Battling depression today.
I keep having nightmares about my family. And variants of things that happened. I try very hard to forget them, and most of the time succeed, but it is tiring.
I didn't do my God Time last night. My faith life is suffering from this depression. I don't have the energy, any time of day. Which deprives me.
Ron is still difficult. He will say things like it is so hard to communicate with me, any problem with communication is entirely my fault, etc. I think I express myself pretty well, truth be told. Just little nibbling bites, eating away at me. It doesn't help.
I don't even think he's aware that he does it.
I just read an article about a guy who ended up divorced because his wife felt she meant nothing to him, because he didn't help with the housework. I never felt that way. I felt annoyed that he didn't help. I didn't feel hurt.
Truth by told, the angriest I ever got at Ron for anything home and garden related. I had a garden out back. I had painstakingly raised all my tomatoes from seed. Ron went out back one day "weed whacking", found my garden, and began weed whacking my tomatoes. He was quite proud of the large "weeds" he had gotten. I was furious. They were just blooming, almost ready to fruit, and he had destroyed them. His response "If you had cleaned up the weeds on the perimeter, I wouldn't have gotten your tomatoes". He never even said he was sorry, although he sure liked eating my homegrown tomatoes. He didn't get any, that year.
My housekeeping is abysmal, anyone will tell you that. I don't stress about it, I do what I can.
So, my day: I went to work, helped Ron, he was pretty appreciative at first but I made a small mistake. So then it was in for the name calling and the lectures. It wasn't that important. If anything, it made me less motivated to do a good job. Ron's read "The One Minute Manager", he should know that.
Anyway, we went to the Kolache factory afterward. We had a very long ride with a driver I like. We finally got to our destination: now an hour waiting before our next ride.
I ate a couple of kolaches, they didn't have cream cheese but the egg ones were pretty good. Normally I am pretty leery of egg products but I am trying to be more open minded. You may not know, I almost died from a very bad case of Salmonella contracted from a bad scrambled egg, in 2004. The day we bought the house, no less. I wanted to sue but Ron talked me out of it. He said it could have happened anywhere, to anyone, I was just unlucky.
He did to a pretty good job of nursing me the first couple of days, bringing me water and all. I don't think he could do much to help me now, if I got sick. When I had the migraine back in Feb., I just took care of my own needs.
So I ate. Ron got cold and wanted to go outside. It was 90 degrees. So I took him out and we waited on our next ride, another driver I like. We had a straight trip home and I took a nap. I had nightmares.
I got up and got online for a little bit. Ron wanted to "find a new restaurant". It is very difficult to find a place to eat in the paratransit service area. There's plenty of food, but not where we can go. Ron and I worked on that for a while and finally gave up.
Yesterday, I was watching "My 600 pound life" and it featured a pretty young girl with a big weight problem. Of course. She had really cute curly hair (she was white, or appeared to be). At the end of the show she had her hair "done" (straightened) and some glamour shots taken.
I find that really sad. Women with curly hair can't wait to straighten it. So much so they even have hair relaxer for little girls. I've seen it at the store. I find that really sad.
When I was younger, my stepmother cut my hair very short, and kept it that way as long as I lived with her. As it grew, it would stick out in odd places. I didn't like that about my hair. Then she would take me to go and get it cut again. It was always a short pixie cut, it was "cute" with my face, but I always wanted longer hair.
I got a job. She went to take me to get my hair cut one day, and I said I wanted to grow it long. She said fine, it was my problem then, and I would have to pay for my hair myself. This was shortly before I moved out.
As my hair grew, it developed some nice waves. It is pretty much "every woman's" ideal, wavy hair with a little curl at the ends. I have cut it off a few times, because long hair is a lot of work, and I did cut it back in 2015 because I was sick of the henna, which is permanent.
That's nice. I appreciate that. I don't have to "fool" with my hair. It is oily, though. I have to wash it daily or it gets greasy. That gets a little tiresome.
The interesting thing about the migraine I had back in February, I didn't wash my hair for 5 days. It wasn't that bad, actually. I thought it would be a lot worse.
I think the saddest thing I have seen is all cultures dying their hair blonde. My mother did that. It was a good look for her but I have a photo of her with natural brown hair. It looks much prettier. I always find it sad when I go to the taqueria and all the women on the telenovela have dyed blond hair. Latina women have very pretty brown/black hair. It is very shiny and pretty. But they hate it. That's sad. They'd rather fry it with perms and dyes and try to look like someone from Norway, instead.
After I helped Ron, I did a load of laundry. I had to talk to Ron about cat hair on his pants. He sleeps with the cats, with his pants on. I keep asking him to please take his pants off when he does that, so I don't have to clean all the cat hair. I can only imagine that amount of cat hair can't be good for the pumps and filters in my washer. So I brush it off before I put it in the washer. It takes a couple of minutes for each pair to get brushed completely.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed. You take care.
I keep having nightmares about my family. And variants of things that happened. I try very hard to forget them, and most of the time succeed, but it is tiring.
I didn't do my God Time last night. My faith life is suffering from this depression. I don't have the energy, any time of day. Which deprives me.
Ron is still difficult. He will say things like it is so hard to communicate with me, any problem with communication is entirely my fault, etc. I think I express myself pretty well, truth be told. Just little nibbling bites, eating away at me. It doesn't help.
I don't even think he's aware that he does it.
I just read an article about a guy who ended up divorced because his wife felt she meant nothing to him, because he didn't help with the housework. I never felt that way. I felt annoyed that he didn't help. I didn't feel hurt.
Truth by told, the angriest I ever got at Ron for anything home and garden related. I had a garden out back. I had painstakingly raised all my tomatoes from seed. Ron went out back one day "weed whacking", found my garden, and began weed whacking my tomatoes. He was quite proud of the large "weeds" he had gotten. I was furious. They were just blooming, almost ready to fruit, and he had destroyed them. His response "If you had cleaned up the weeds on the perimeter, I wouldn't have gotten your tomatoes". He never even said he was sorry, although he sure liked eating my homegrown tomatoes. He didn't get any, that year.
My housekeeping is abysmal, anyone will tell you that. I don't stress about it, I do what I can.
So, my day: I went to work, helped Ron, he was pretty appreciative at first but I made a small mistake. So then it was in for the name calling and the lectures. It wasn't that important. If anything, it made me less motivated to do a good job. Ron's read "The One Minute Manager", he should know that.
Anyway, we went to the Kolache factory afterward. We had a very long ride with a driver I like. We finally got to our destination: now an hour waiting before our next ride.
I ate a couple of kolaches, they didn't have cream cheese but the egg ones were pretty good. Normally I am pretty leery of egg products but I am trying to be more open minded. You may not know, I almost died from a very bad case of Salmonella contracted from a bad scrambled egg, in 2004. The day we bought the house, no less. I wanted to sue but Ron talked me out of it. He said it could have happened anywhere, to anyone, I was just unlucky.
He did to a pretty good job of nursing me the first couple of days, bringing me water and all. I don't think he could do much to help me now, if I got sick. When I had the migraine back in Feb., I just took care of my own needs.
So I ate. Ron got cold and wanted to go outside. It was 90 degrees. So I took him out and we waited on our next ride, another driver I like. We had a straight trip home and I took a nap. I had nightmares.
I got up and got online for a little bit. Ron wanted to "find a new restaurant". It is very difficult to find a place to eat in the paratransit service area. There's plenty of food, but not where we can go. Ron and I worked on that for a while and finally gave up.
Yesterday, I was watching "My 600 pound life" and it featured a pretty young girl with a big weight problem. Of course. She had really cute curly hair (she was white, or appeared to be). At the end of the show she had her hair "done" (straightened) and some glamour shots taken.
I find that really sad. Women with curly hair can't wait to straighten it. So much so they even have hair relaxer for little girls. I've seen it at the store. I find that really sad.
When I was younger, my stepmother cut my hair very short, and kept it that way as long as I lived with her. As it grew, it would stick out in odd places. I didn't like that about my hair. Then she would take me to go and get it cut again. It was always a short pixie cut, it was "cute" with my face, but I always wanted longer hair.
I got a job. She went to take me to get my hair cut one day, and I said I wanted to grow it long. She said fine, it was my problem then, and I would have to pay for my hair myself. This was shortly before I moved out.
As my hair grew, it developed some nice waves. It is pretty much "every woman's" ideal, wavy hair with a little curl at the ends. I have cut it off a few times, because long hair is a lot of work, and I did cut it back in 2015 because I was sick of the henna, which is permanent.
That's nice. I appreciate that. I don't have to "fool" with my hair. It is oily, though. I have to wash it daily or it gets greasy. That gets a little tiresome.
The interesting thing about the migraine I had back in February, I didn't wash my hair for 5 days. It wasn't that bad, actually. I thought it would be a lot worse.
I think the saddest thing I have seen is all cultures dying their hair blonde. My mother did that. It was a good look for her but I have a photo of her with natural brown hair. It looks much prettier. I always find it sad when I go to the taqueria and all the women on the telenovela have dyed blond hair. Latina women have very pretty brown/black hair. It is very shiny and pretty. But they hate it. That's sad. They'd rather fry it with perms and dyes and try to look like someone from Norway, instead.
After I helped Ron, I did a load of laundry. I had to talk to Ron about cat hair on his pants. He sleeps with the cats, with his pants on. I keep asking him to please take his pants off when he does that, so I don't have to clean all the cat hair. I can only imagine that amount of cat hair can't be good for the pumps and filters in my washer. So I brush it off before I put it in the washer. It takes a couple of minutes for each pair to get brushed completely.
I'm tired, I'm going to bed. You take care.
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
See what I can do
Well, the "Ron" part of my day went OK. I slept in and got up, did my shower, fed the cats (not in that order! Biscuit would have had a fit!), etc.
I got ready to go because Ron had made a trip to go to the BBQ place. It's a bit of a ride but not too bad. Usually.
Our ride was a little early, great. We went out. It was the lady who had ordered a steak the last time we went to Denny's, and offered to buy her "something". As it turns out, we had her round trip.
She had another client on board, who kept wanting to "help" Ron as he struggled into the vehicle, and then buckling his seatbelt. But Ron is very independent and got it done himself.
We dropped off the other client and then went to the BBQ place. She had her lunch there, waiting for us. We had plenty of time to eat, but the meat was fatty for Ron's meal. Pretty hard to screw up sausage, they did a decent job with that.
We went out and she picked us up. We had some other pickups. We went to a doctor's office and picked up an obese, elderly, client using a cane. She made a big production of moaning and screaming, getting into the vehicle, (unlike Ron, who has about the same amount of difficulty). She also made a special point of grabbing onto my hair and yanking, twice. I had it away from the headrest (to prevent just that) so she would have had to make a special grab just for the hair, and did, twice. I didn't show any reaction. I assumed she wanted me to cry out in pain, complain, etc - and then she would say "How can you be so mean to a poor old lady?" This has happened before. I don't like it, but it happens.
She got in and didn't fasten her seatbelt until the driver said something. Then she tried to cheat the driver on the fare. Now I really didn't like her.
Ron had noticed her "trouble" getting aboard. He told her if she had that much trouble with the cabs, she should get a wheelchair and ride on the big vans. She basically told him to STFU. He didn't understand, she said, she had a bad knee (so does Ron), and a bad back (we all know Ron does, too). Ron has many other problems in addition but he maintains a pleasant attitude with others and, if he's ugly, is only ugly to me. He certainly doesn't put on a dramatic production every time he gets in, or out of, the vehicle.
The driver had another pickup. As I've said, the one we had in the van was obese, and well out of her allotted seat space. The driver tried to move Ron over to the middle but she wouldn't shift to accommodate him. She wouldn't even move her cane, which was in the middle seat. When we got to the pickup, the other client was also obese.
No way were they all going to fit in the backseat. I told Ron he would need to get into his wheelchair, as it "Wouldn't be comfortable" otherwise. He knew what that meant. He struggled a little bit, getting out, but didn't moan and scream loudly like some people. He did give a little grunt when he hopped down, but that was it.
The driver strapped Ron in the back, and the other client sat where Ron had been. We dropped the drama queen off first, at a really terrible senior complex. It is so bad it was actually featured on that show about homicides, "The First 48". Another awful felony also occurred at the complex. I almost said "Oh, isn't this the place where....." but I didn't. She got out, no moaning and screaming this time. She moved off a lot faster than Ron would have, if he were walking.
I was happy to get home. I stayed up a little bit to do something nice for some service providers. I don't like to talk about that stuff, God sees it and credits me. I don't need to get applause for things I do here on earth because God is watching.
After I did that, I took a nap. Torbie joined me. She was pretty cute, walking around on my chest, pawing at my face, and purring. She finally lay down to my left and I lay on my left side, facing her. I had a good nap for about an hour and got up.
We are working tomorrow. I need to clean the - well, I need to feed the cats first, then clean the litter boxes. Don't want to be dishing up food with "poop" hands. I also need to do my God Time. I need to bag up candy for tomorrow.
And I'm really tired. I'll see what I accomplish.
I did learn something interesting this morning, I can take my Wellbutrin with a glass of milk. It settled fine with no stomach trouble and I could feel the antidepressant working.
Now I need to go see what I can do.
I got ready to go because Ron had made a trip to go to the BBQ place. It's a bit of a ride but not too bad. Usually.
Our ride was a little early, great. We went out. It was the lady who had ordered a steak the last time we went to Denny's, and offered to buy her "something". As it turns out, we had her round trip.
She had another client on board, who kept wanting to "help" Ron as he struggled into the vehicle, and then buckling his seatbelt. But Ron is very independent and got it done himself.
We dropped off the other client and then went to the BBQ place. She had her lunch there, waiting for us. We had plenty of time to eat, but the meat was fatty for Ron's meal. Pretty hard to screw up sausage, they did a decent job with that.
We went out and she picked us up. We had some other pickups. We went to a doctor's office and picked up an obese, elderly, client using a cane. She made a big production of moaning and screaming, getting into the vehicle, (unlike Ron, who has about the same amount of difficulty). She also made a special point of grabbing onto my hair and yanking, twice. I had it away from the headrest (to prevent just that) so she would have had to make a special grab just for the hair, and did, twice. I didn't show any reaction. I assumed she wanted me to cry out in pain, complain, etc - and then she would say "How can you be so mean to a poor old lady?" This has happened before. I don't like it, but it happens.
She got in and didn't fasten her seatbelt until the driver said something. Then she tried to cheat the driver on the fare. Now I really didn't like her.
Ron had noticed her "trouble" getting aboard. He told her if she had that much trouble with the cabs, she should get a wheelchair and ride on the big vans. She basically told him to STFU. He didn't understand, she said, she had a bad knee (so does Ron), and a bad back (we all know Ron does, too). Ron has many other problems in addition but he maintains a pleasant attitude with others and, if he's ugly, is only ugly to me. He certainly doesn't put on a dramatic production every time he gets in, or out of, the vehicle.
The driver had another pickup. As I've said, the one we had in the van was obese, and well out of her allotted seat space. The driver tried to move Ron over to the middle but she wouldn't shift to accommodate him. She wouldn't even move her cane, which was in the middle seat. When we got to the pickup, the other client was also obese.
No way were they all going to fit in the backseat. I told Ron he would need to get into his wheelchair, as it "Wouldn't be comfortable" otherwise. He knew what that meant. He struggled a little bit, getting out, but didn't moan and scream loudly like some people. He did give a little grunt when he hopped down, but that was it.
The driver strapped Ron in the back, and the other client sat where Ron had been. We dropped the drama queen off first, at a really terrible senior complex. It is so bad it was actually featured on that show about homicides, "The First 48". Another awful felony also occurred at the complex. I almost said "Oh, isn't this the place where....." but I didn't. She got out, no moaning and screaming this time. She moved off a lot faster than Ron would have, if he were walking.
I was happy to get home. I stayed up a little bit to do something nice for some service providers. I don't like to talk about that stuff, God sees it and credits me. I don't need to get applause for things I do here on earth because God is watching.
After I did that, I took a nap. Torbie joined me. She was pretty cute, walking around on my chest, pawing at my face, and purring. She finally lay down to my left and I lay on my left side, facing her. I had a good nap for about an hour and got up.
We are working tomorrow. I need to clean the - well, I need to feed the cats first, then clean the litter boxes. Don't want to be dishing up food with "poop" hands. I also need to do my God Time. I need to bag up candy for tomorrow.
And I'm really tired. I'll see what I accomplish.
I did learn something interesting this morning, I can take my Wellbutrin with a glass of milk. It settled fine with no stomach trouble and I could feel the antidepressant working.
Now I need to go see what I can do.
Tuesday, May 15, 2018
Half a day off
It was my day off, but I had to get up early. I hit the snooze some, I had a nice, cuddly, Biscuit in my bed, and went back to sleep.
I did my God Time before I started this post. I got up and took my shower, got dressed. I waited for Ron to wake up. He never did.
I heard a honk outside, and looked. It was our driver. I went and woke Ron up. He got up pretty quick. Happily, the driver waited a few minutes while Ron got dressed and ran out the door. Well, rolled, in his wheelchair, pushed by me.
We went to the bank. We turned $1's into $20's. Well, we converted $100 packs into five twenties, instead. I got paid. It was still pretty quiet so it didn't take long.
Ron called and said he was ready early, and they sent a supervisor to pick us up. She shared some of her home drama with us (adult children, and her grandkids, living at home, along with a daughter and elderly mother). Yike.
We got to Walmart. I couldn't find a kiddie cart. Ron said he wanted to wait up front, anyway. I made my $420 health insurance deposit. I hate to have the money on hand, get used to having it, and then make the deposit. I would rather amputate it at the start.
I started on my shopping, candy to hand out, female products, etc. I bought some Powerades (I like the taste better, and the bottle is sturdier) and soda for Ron. When I was about finished, Ron called me, sounding strained. His back was in spasm. Could I hurry?
I hurried (forgetting a new bed sheet, and the shower curtain) and checked out. I had a nice cashier, I liked her. I went to McDonald's, and bought some food for us. Then Ron called a cab.
He came pretty quick, I was impressed. Not many drivers want a Walmart pickup with a wheelchair, to boot. But he had a nice empty trunk. He was either Middle Eastern or Indian, I couldn't tell. He had an accent but spoke very good English.
Later on, I told Ron "Everyone who immigrates here starts off as a cab driver!" He laughed.
The driver did ask me to pick up the wheelchair and put it in the trunk. I didn't have a problem with that, at all. After I got into my seat, he explained: he had once picked up a client's wheelchair, and the wheelchair had broken. The cab company had to pay to have it replaced, and they told him, if the client has an ablebodied companion, have the companion load the wheelchair. I didn't mind.
The wheelchair only weighs about 20 pounds, maybe another 5 with the backpack.
We went home. He put everything in the garage for us (3 bags). Ron of course got the wheelchair. We went in the house. I had bought some Kale (blech), so I put that in the fridge, along with the other "cold" items.
Then I took a nap. I was surprised Ron didn't get out of his wheelchair immediately. But I think he figured out a new way to sit so he was more comfortable.
I need to get him a wheelchair cushion. He keeps saying "Don't bother" but I believe it would help. He is certainly not "good" sitting in the wheelchair for more than a couple of hours. But we got (most of) the Walmart done today so we don't have to use up another day.
I had a pretty good nap. I got up, did my God Time, watched a little TV. Then I got online.
And it's late and I had better go to bed! Have a good one.
I'm praying for you every day, regardless of whether I'm typing it out or not.
I did my God Time before I started this post. I got up and took my shower, got dressed. I waited for Ron to wake up. He never did.
I heard a honk outside, and looked. It was our driver. I went and woke Ron up. He got up pretty quick. Happily, the driver waited a few minutes while Ron got dressed and ran out the door. Well, rolled, in his wheelchair, pushed by me.
We went to the bank. We turned $1's into $20's. Well, we converted $100 packs into five twenties, instead. I got paid. It was still pretty quiet so it didn't take long.
Ron called and said he was ready early, and they sent a supervisor to pick us up. She shared some of her home drama with us (adult children, and her grandkids, living at home, along with a daughter and elderly mother). Yike.
We got to Walmart. I couldn't find a kiddie cart. Ron said he wanted to wait up front, anyway. I made my $420 health insurance deposit. I hate to have the money on hand, get used to having it, and then make the deposit. I would rather amputate it at the start.
I started on my shopping, candy to hand out, female products, etc. I bought some Powerades (I like the taste better, and the bottle is sturdier) and soda for Ron. When I was about finished, Ron called me, sounding strained. His back was in spasm. Could I hurry?
I hurried (forgetting a new bed sheet, and the shower curtain) and checked out. I had a nice cashier, I liked her. I went to McDonald's, and bought some food for us. Then Ron called a cab.
He came pretty quick, I was impressed. Not many drivers want a Walmart pickup with a wheelchair, to boot. But he had a nice empty trunk. He was either Middle Eastern or Indian, I couldn't tell. He had an accent but spoke very good English.
Later on, I told Ron "Everyone who immigrates here starts off as a cab driver!" He laughed.
The driver did ask me to pick up the wheelchair and put it in the trunk. I didn't have a problem with that, at all. After I got into my seat, he explained: he had once picked up a client's wheelchair, and the wheelchair had broken. The cab company had to pay to have it replaced, and they told him, if the client has an ablebodied companion, have the companion load the wheelchair. I didn't mind.
The wheelchair only weighs about 20 pounds, maybe another 5 with the backpack.
We went home. He put everything in the garage for us (3 bags). Ron of course got the wheelchair. We went in the house. I had bought some Kale (blech), so I put that in the fridge, along with the other "cold" items.
Then I took a nap. I was surprised Ron didn't get out of his wheelchair immediately. But I think he figured out a new way to sit so he was more comfortable.
I need to get him a wheelchair cushion. He keeps saying "Don't bother" but I believe it would help. He is certainly not "good" sitting in the wheelchair for more than a couple of hours. But we got (most of) the Walmart done today so we don't have to use up another day.
I had a pretty good nap. I got up, did my God Time, watched a little TV. Then I got online.
And it's late and I had better go to bed! Have a good one.
I'm praying for you every day, regardless of whether I'm typing it out or not.
Monday, May 14, 2018
"You're not that important"
Ugh. Taxing day. I went to bed with a bad headache and it morphed into a migraine. I still had to get up and work.
Ron was in a difficult mood today, being obnoxious on the way to work and then ugly to me while I was at work. A good example, he said "Thank you" to me for helping him with something. 30 seconds later he's calling me a "bitch" and accusing me of "sabotage" because he didn't like the way I locked the vending machine. He went on about how I do it "on purpose, to annoy him". No, I just shut the machine. I don't notice if the notches are up or down, because it is easy to open regardless. He accused me of making another "mistake, on purpose, to upset him". I finally told him "You're not that important".
That took him aback. That is about the most provoking thing you can say to a narcissist, that they aren't important. He left me alone for a while after that.
I was still battling a horrible headache. I have thought, in the past, if I "help" Ron more at work he will be nicer to me. He won't be as verbally abusive, kinder, and more understanding. So today I made a big point of running around at his beck and call. I helped him with anything he needed. He would say thank you and then go right back to being verbally abusive. "He's like a tapeworm" I thought. "The more I give him, the more he takes, and he just hurts me."
I continued to do what I could, and got most of my work done in spite of being Ron's lackey, most of the day. A lot of his work involves manual effort, I tried to help him with that (for his back, and knee), but I didn't help him with the stuff he could clearly do on his own. It was time consuming and ate up a lot of time I could have been doing MY work.
I won't do that, next time. If you want me to run around helping you every second, I will tell him, you need to factor in an extra couple of hours. I need some time to do my work before I can help you with yours. I tell him this, normally, and he carries on like if I really cared about him I would find a way to make it work regardless. I always tell him, if you want me to help you, give me more time. "But I don't want to stay that long". Well, now I know. If he's going to be verbally abusive to me either way, I will have a much easier time saying "No" to him. "No, you didn't give me enough time to help you today" should be a good answer. Or "I can help you, but it means I won't be able to do ___"
Finally finished and came home. My head was still bothering me and I had a fierce thirst. I drank some water and lay down for a while.
Ron wanted to go to Denny's later. I set my alarm so I could get up and do my God Time, but I was so tired, had Torbie in my bed, and finally getting over the headache. I got up pretty late.
I was glad I already had some candy bagged up. We went to the restaurant.
I had been thinking about the apple dessert all day, and they were out of ice cream. If I had a car, I would have walked out. As it is, I settled for something else.
A man came in, a white guy, with a backpack. He was on a cell phone trying to find out about his background check. He became very angry and smashed the phone with his fist. Ron asked what was going on, I told him. "What?" Ron asked loudly "He didn't pay his bill?" Ha ha ha.
The guy looked furious. I told Ron to shut up, already. Ron asked me why. I told him I would tell him later. This guy looked about one "offense" away from a couple of felony assaults, if not murder. He really seemed to be a ticking time bomb. I was tempted to offer him my medication.
He finally left, muttering. Then I told Ron the guy was "A lit fuse, waiting to go off". Ron wanted to make more comments but I told him the guy had left.
Ron, unfortunately, finds it "fun" to "poke" at people with mental illness. I remember one time there was a man on the bus, schizophrenic. He was freaking out about "radio waves" from Ron's handheld ham radio. He asked Ron to turn it off, and Ron said no, and turned up the volume. The guy began freaking out, moaning and screaming. Ron "wasn't going to let anyone tell him what to do"., and kept talking to me. I could hear the guy in the background. The bus driver finally told Ron he would put Ron off the bus, if he didn't run off the radio. So Ron did it.
When he got home, Ron thought it was funny. I didn't. The rest of the meal was uneventful.
We had an interesting ride home. The driver pulled up in a minivan cab (pretty common) and opened the back so she could put Ron's wheelchair in the wheelchair loading area. So far, so good. There was a blind lady we know, a special ed teacher, in the front seat. She was very tired.
I got Ron loaded with no problem, but the driver couldn't get the back door to shut. It wouldn't latch. Well, crap. I had visions of waiting hours for a maintenance tech to come out and fix it. But there was a mechanic's shop nearby. She drove over there, with the backdoor wide open (Ron's wheelchair was locked down), and asked for help. He was happy to help, and got it fixed in a jiffy. She was finally able to shut the door and have it latch.
We dropped the other client off, and then Ron made the mistake of bringing up politics. Ron is conservative. So am I, even more conservative. The drivers, with very few exceptions, are all liberals.
After several pointless arguments in the vehicle, one of which brought me to tears (the guy was such an unsympathetic, selfish, jerk - who was later fired), I told Ron "No politics in the van". I kept trying to remind him of that but he kept challenging the driver, she kept defending her flag, Ron kept denigrating it, she would respond. I finally got them to stop by saying "I'm stuck in the middle here, and I don't like it". Ron was just looking for a fight, which would have been fine if he had been alone. But he's not, and say you "win" by getting the driver upset. Wow, now they're not going to be driving very well because they're upset, and a lot more likely to get into an accident because you got them upset. Ugh.
He apologized when he got home, but he's done this before. It's very upsetting. He gets so into "the fight" that he can't see me begging him to stop. And it doesn't accomplish anything, it just gets everyone upset and angry. You don't want that in a moving vehicle. You want calm and serenity. People who are angry will drive more aggressively, and have a far greater risk of getting into an accident.
I like my body the way it is: working. If I broke my leg because Ron got a driver upset talking politics, I'd be furious.
We finally got home. She parked at the bottom of the driveway, instead of pulling in. Ron made a rude comment about that. "Oh, she told me not to pull into the driveway, last time" looking at me. "No, I NEVER said that". "Oh, I must have mixed you up with someone else".
Yeah, either that or you're getting him back for the political stuff. I pushed Ron up the driveway (it is pretty steep) and got him into the house.
Oh, remember the other day, when we offered to buy our driver something off the menu at Denny's, and she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu? Her husband picked us up to go to Denny's today. He kept saying "I know who your favorite driver is". We were baffled. He said her name, and I said "Oh, yeah, the steak. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu". Yes, he said, and she only did it because she is our favorite driver. I did not say it to him, but she is not. She is what I would consider an average driver, and she is certainly not our favorite after costing us $13 for her steak and two sides. We often offer to buy the driver some food (well, Ron does). We don't just do it for one, "favorite", driver, we do it for many, "OK" drivers. I didn't say any of this to him, I just let him think she was "our favorite", even though I would put Gladys up there for the position, instead.
Ron is listening to the news, it is pretty eventful in the middle east right now. I am so sick of people putting the muslims as victims there. They are not. Their religion is awful. They butcher their little girls. The women are in bondage. They are only good at distorting media coverage and making themselves look like victims. Look at Israel, they have stated they (muslims) will not be happy until every Jew is dead. You cannot negotiate and compromise with someone like that. They want to exterminate the Jews. The Jews are simply defending themselves, but the media tries to distort it and make the Jews look like the bad guys. You can agree or not as you like, but that's my opinion.
I am just smart enough to keep it off the van.
Ron was in a difficult mood today, being obnoxious on the way to work and then ugly to me while I was at work. A good example, he said "Thank you" to me for helping him with something. 30 seconds later he's calling me a "bitch" and accusing me of "sabotage" because he didn't like the way I locked the vending machine. He went on about how I do it "on purpose, to annoy him". No, I just shut the machine. I don't notice if the notches are up or down, because it is easy to open regardless. He accused me of making another "mistake, on purpose, to upset him". I finally told him "You're not that important".
That took him aback. That is about the most provoking thing you can say to a narcissist, that they aren't important. He left me alone for a while after that.
I was still battling a horrible headache. I have thought, in the past, if I "help" Ron more at work he will be nicer to me. He won't be as verbally abusive, kinder, and more understanding. So today I made a big point of running around at his beck and call. I helped him with anything he needed. He would say thank you and then go right back to being verbally abusive. "He's like a tapeworm" I thought. "The more I give him, the more he takes, and he just hurts me."
I continued to do what I could, and got most of my work done in spite of being Ron's lackey, most of the day. A lot of his work involves manual effort, I tried to help him with that (for his back, and knee), but I didn't help him with the stuff he could clearly do on his own. It was time consuming and ate up a lot of time I could have been doing MY work.
I won't do that, next time. If you want me to run around helping you every second, I will tell him, you need to factor in an extra couple of hours. I need some time to do my work before I can help you with yours. I tell him this, normally, and he carries on like if I really cared about him I would find a way to make it work regardless. I always tell him, if you want me to help you, give me more time. "But I don't want to stay that long". Well, now I know. If he's going to be verbally abusive to me either way, I will have a much easier time saying "No" to him. "No, you didn't give me enough time to help you today" should be a good answer. Or "I can help you, but it means I won't be able to do ___"
Finally finished and came home. My head was still bothering me and I had a fierce thirst. I drank some water and lay down for a while.
Ron wanted to go to Denny's later. I set my alarm so I could get up and do my God Time, but I was so tired, had Torbie in my bed, and finally getting over the headache. I got up pretty late.
I was glad I already had some candy bagged up. We went to the restaurant.
I had been thinking about the apple dessert all day, and they were out of ice cream. If I had a car, I would have walked out. As it is, I settled for something else.
A man came in, a white guy, with a backpack. He was on a cell phone trying to find out about his background check. He became very angry and smashed the phone with his fist. Ron asked what was going on, I told him. "What?" Ron asked loudly "He didn't pay his bill?" Ha ha ha.
The guy looked furious. I told Ron to shut up, already. Ron asked me why. I told him I would tell him later. This guy looked about one "offense" away from a couple of felony assaults, if not murder. He really seemed to be a ticking time bomb. I was tempted to offer him my medication.
He finally left, muttering. Then I told Ron the guy was "A lit fuse, waiting to go off". Ron wanted to make more comments but I told him the guy had left.
Ron, unfortunately, finds it "fun" to "poke" at people with mental illness. I remember one time there was a man on the bus, schizophrenic. He was freaking out about "radio waves" from Ron's handheld ham radio. He asked Ron to turn it off, and Ron said no, and turned up the volume. The guy began freaking out, moaning and screaming. Ron "wasn't going to let anyone tell him what to do"., and kept talking to me. I could hear the guy in the background. The bus driver finally told Ron he would put Ron off the bus, if he didn't run off the radio. So Ron did it.
When he got home, Ron thought it was funny. I didn't. The rest of the meal was uneventful.
We had an interesting ride home. The driver pulled up in a minivan cab (pretty common) and opened the back so she could put Ron's wheelchair in the wheelchair loading area. So far, so good. There was a blind lady we know, a special ed teacher, in the front seat. She was very tired.
I got Ron loaded with no problem, but the driver couldn't get the back door to shut. It wouldn't latch. Well, crap. I had visions of waiting hours for a maintenance tech to come out and fix it. But there was a mechanic's shop nearby. She drove over there, with the backdoor wide open (Ron's wheelchair was locked down), and asked for help. He was happy to help, and got it fixed in a jiffy. She was finally able to shut the door and have it latch.
We dropped the other client off, and then Ron made the mistake of bringing up politics. Ron is conservative. So am I, even more conservative. The drivers, with very few exceptions, are all liberals.
After several pointless arguments in the vehicle, one of which brought me to tears (the guy was such an unsympathetic, selfish, jerk - who was later fired), I told Ron "No politics in the van". I kept trying to remind him of that but he kept challenging the driver, she kept defending her flag, Ron kept denigrating it, she would respond. I finally got them to stop by saying "I'm stuck in the middle here, and I don't like it". Ron was just looking for a fight, which would have been fine if he had been alone. But he's not, and say you "win" by getting the driver upset. Wow, now they're not going to be driving very well because they're upset, and a lot more likely to get into an accident because you got them upset. Ugh.
He apologized when he got home, but he's done this before. It's very upsetting. He gets so into "the fight" that he can't see me begging him to stop. And it doesn't accomplish anything, it just gets everyone upset and angry. You don't want that in a moving vehicle. You want calm and serenity. People who are angry will drive more aggressively, and have a far greater risk of getting into an accident.
I like my body the way it is: working. If I broke my leg because Ron got a driver upset talking politics, I'd be furious.
We finally got home. She parked at the bottom of the driveway, instead of pulling in. Ron made a rude comment about that. "Oh, she told me not to pull into the driveway, last time" looking at me. "No, I NEVER said that". "Oh, I must have mixed you up with someone else".
Yeah, either that or you're getting him back for the political stuff. I pushed Ron up the driveway (it is pretty steep) and got him into the house.
Oh, remember the other day, when we offered to buy our driver something off the menu at Denny's, and she ordered the most expensive thing on the menu? Her husband picked us up to go to Denny's today. He kept saying "I know who your favorite driver is". We were baffled. He said her name, and I said "Oh, yeah, the steak. She ordered the most expensive thing on the menu". Yes, he said, and she only did it because she is our favorite driver. I did not say it to him, but she is not. She is what I would consider an average driver, and she is certainly not our favorite after costing us $13 for her steak and two sides. We often offer to buy the driver some food (well, Ron does). We don't just do it for one, "favorite", driver, we do it for many, "OK" drivers. I didn't say any of this to him, I just let him think she was "our favorite", even though I would put Gladys up there for the position, instead.
Ron is listening to the news, it is pretty eventful in the middle east right now. I am so sick of people putting the muslims as victims there. They are not. Their religion is awful. They butcher their little girls. The women are in bondage. They are only good at distorting media coverage and making themselves look like victims. Look at Israel, they have stated they (muslims) will not be happy until every Jew is dead. You cannot negotiate and compromise with someone like that. They want to exterminate the Jews. The Jews are simply defending themselves, but the media tries to distort it and make the Jews look like the bad guys. You can agree or not as you like, but that's my opinion.
I am just smart enough to keep it off the van.
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