Friday, April 19, 2013

Try

"You did WHAT?" Ron bellowed. 

I sighed.  "I forgot the wheelchair".  Our driver, hunched over the steering wheel in rush-hour traffic, carefully didn't look at either of us. 

Ron had asked me to bring the wheelchair.  I forgot.  I put it under "properly medicated".  At 4 lithium a day, my short term memory is shot.  Or maybe some of it's the  Fetal Alcohol Syndrome.  At any rate, the wheelchair was in the house and not in the back of the vehicle. 

Ron was pretty unhappy.  I had to enforce a few boundaries. 

I don't think I've written them out: 

Do not touch me when you're angry, or I will remove your hand.  I will guide you but don't grab me.  Put your hand on my elbow and I will take you where you need to go.  Anything else is out. 

Do not call me names, or I will walk away. 

Do not shout at me, or I will walk away. 

Don't ask me to remember things.  If you want something done you will have to do it.  [Ron has to carry my work keys and badge, and handle every important paper, because I can't remember them]. 

I went back a couple of times (I waited about 5 minutes each time), and when Ron had calmed down we did our business.  He realized it didn't really matter, we could borrow the work wheelchair for the "important" tasks. 

And we did. 

An hour after the drama, we were back to normal.  I had boundaries and I didn't die.  Ron didn't hate me.  We both learned a lot.  I'm pretty proud of us. 

I'm going to have memory issues because of my brain problems. 

He's going to have "temper" issues to to his brain damage. 

But we can work around, if we try. 

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