More lithium, please

Today's more about me, today. 

First and probably best news for the day: I am cutting way back on the diet sodas.  I have come to the conclusion that I really don't like the dependence/anxiety issues anymore.  The fact that whole outings were planned on where I could obtain my soda, the fact that I was upset a gas station owner forbade me from coming in - and it was a good deal on my SODA; well, I had enough. 

The fact that they have conclusively, to me, been linked to worsening moods and poor blood sugar control just clinched it. 

I am well aware of my habits; I never ride anywhere without 2 bottles of soda (16.9 ounce).  I drink a couple bottles in the morning, and maybe a few in the afternoon and early evening if I don't work the next day.  I buy cases of bottles, and 2 liter bottles, at the grocery store.  I also drink plenty at work, with Ron's permission. 

Well, I stopped buying them.  I have no diet soda in my house.  [shrug] And I'm living.  I drank some at work, but I realized I'm getting used to the taste of water again.  The first day I started drinking water and green tea (I love all teas), I was tremendously thirsty.  I urinated even more than normal, and I produce a lot. 

I still plan to have some on my Day Out, if convenient, but I'm not going to freak about availability. 

I suspect it will help a lot with "eating clean" and weight loss, although if I never lose a pound I'm OK with that.  I want to take care of myself; that's the big goal. 

I decided, after my diagnosis, that I was willing to accept some weight gain if it meant I'd have better moods.  I still feel that way. 

Speaking of moods, I went up on my lithium and plan to make that permanent for now.  I mean, if I get toxic, duh, of course I'll reduce.  Doc has me in a range, and I would like to take less, but that's not healthy. 

A few hours ago, I was outside, feeding the birds (my spelling and grammar may suck due to increased lithium).  Some children were playing in their yard, adjoining my backyard.  We have wood privacy fences.  I started feeling very irritable. 

I went inside, ate a snack, and realized I needed more lithium.  So I took one out of my jumbo 270 count 3 month bottle.  And I couldn't find my tea.  I said "Hell with it" and swallowed it dry, then found the tea. 

I feel a lot more "myself", although a little foggier.  I have also typed many times, I'd rather be stupid with decent moods, than some horrible person. 

Anyway, if I remember to do the laundry and hang it up, take my shower, and get my stuff together for tomorrow (ie - charge my cell phone) I'm happy.  I can live with some dirty dishes in the sink if I forget. 

I find it hard to accomodate my own needs.  I am working on that. 

Strange noises coming from Ron's room.  Dragging noises.  Not opening the door.   He has trashed his room more than once.  One time it will be one too many for him and maybe he'll call AA.  [shrug]  God's got the problem, and He can have it. 

I'm just going to work on "Love God, Love your neighbor" as commanded in the New Testament. 

I got up early, flaked on my God Time.  I did get it just now.  Went to work. 

Things were really dead.  I stocked the 3 cases of soda we sold, and got the delivery.  Halfway though tagging my sandwiches, I realized I had a problem with my label gun. 

I realized it was out of labels.  I didn't have time to figure it out, so I just stuck it in my bag.  The "manual" I was given for the label gun isn't right - it's a completely different model.  At home, I had to check out a couple of web pages and a Youtube video.  I got it, eventually.  Complicated little booger.  I just now got it. 

I am not ashamed to admit I prayed over it, just like I do the vending machines when someone's being naughty.  Speaking of naughty; one of our machines ate a bill.  I'll have to pay refunds. 

I don't mind paying refunds, but one thing really bothers me: the phony refund.  I hear the dumbest stories.  My favorite was "I put a $5 bill in the soda machine and it didn't give me my change, or the soda."  The soda machine doesn't even ACCEPT $5 bills!  Had they said one of the other machines, maybe. 

AND, when a machine does "take" a bill, it ALWAYS jams up the bill validator.  I get an error message the instant I service the machine, open the mechanism, and see the crumpled up bill.  Then I pay refunds. 

So, when that guy said the soda machine stole his $5, I knew he was lying, because it wouldn't have accepted the bill at all; and had any bill jammed, I would have seen it when I serviced the machine.  I always check the validator, because a machine that isn't accepting money, isn't making money.  Failing that, I would have seen a $5 bill in the stack when I counted it out, and I didn't. 

Another time a guy tried to tell me he put $2 in the food machine, rotatated the machine, and the $2 credit just "went away".  That doesn't happen.  You can put your money in and rotate it for hours, and you'll still have the credit. 

The machine only loses a credit if I walk up and open the service door, and I didn't do that! 

I'd find it a lot more credible if someone said "Hey, Heather, I forgot my lunch and I don't have any money.  Is there any way I could get a snack?"  Because, sometimes I have a product (chips or a pastry) that is going out of code, but still good to eat, but not to sell.   Lying to me, just pisses me off. 

Especially when I look at blind Ron in his wheelchair, filling up the machines.  He works hard for the little he makes.  And now you want to lie and take it?   And you take home at least 3 times what Ron and I do, COMBINED? 

One woman, a temporary employee, walked up to me while I was loading a cart.  "Gimmie a soda"  I just gaped at her. 

"No" I said.  "Would you like to buy one?" 

No, she said, and got an attitude.  I had all this soda, I could give her one if I WANTED. 

I told her, "I had to pay for all of this.  So do you." 

[scoff]   She called me a bitch and walked off. 

I doubt they'll be putting her on the permanent payroll with that attitude.