Peanut police

I'm going to look awful, saying this. 

Just the phrase "Peanut Police" can make people boil.  "I have an allergy"  "My kid has an allergy - we have to eliminate every peanut from the face of the earth!"  How DARE I eat a peanut, when somewhere, someone in Houston, has a fatal allergy that could KILL THEM? 

Quite comfortably, thank you.  A peanut allergy is your problem, not mine. 

Before I write this, I need to say: I understand Multiple Chemical Sensitivity is a true illness.  I understand it is debilitating and incapacitating.  You have my sincere sympathy, and I'd suggest Whole Foods line of body care products - they have a really nice line of fragrance free.  If you can make it past the soap aisle! 

However, I used to work with a woman who claimed to have a severe chemical sensitivity.  I am quite serious as I tell you she would come up to me and sniff me like a dog, when I started working there, interrogating me on which deodorant I used, which shampoo, and I HADN'T USED ANY LOTION, HAD I? 

Give it a rest!  The real clincher for me, was when I saw this woman with this supposed brutal health problem, putting Tide laundry detergent in her basket at the grocery store.  She showed it to me (we worked about a block from a grocery store).  "Look, Heather!  It's on sale!"  It was the fragranced kind.  She also smoked.  Talk about chemicals!   I would find her using the most toxic smelling cleaning products to clean the kitchen when it was her turn; and she never even sniffled or coughed. 

I clinched it when she told me of a BBQ she'd had, using lighter fluid.  It was obvious to me her problems were related to smoking cigarrettes, not my deodorant.  It was apparent to everyone in the office that she used her "problem" to dominate and browbeat her other employees.  It gave her an excuse to shout at people... especially newcomers. 

I'm surprised we had any visitors.  When she quit, in a fit of pique, she came to me and basically wanted me to cry over it, and I couldn't.  "I hope you enjoy your new job" I said calmly as she fumed.  We all gave a HUGE sigh of relief. 

I can't help it, when I hear about "severe peanut allergy" people, I flash back to "Wendy".  I get a reflexive flash of resentment as I recall the sight of Wendy, castigating a sweet old lady, because "Your prescription skin cream is BOTHERING me!"   I get angry. 

It's not just that; either.  Peanuts are a friend to this household.  Many of the items we sell are, or contain, peanuts.  I sell a 1.5 ounce bag of roasted peanuts.  a 1 ounce bag of Japanese peanuts (hecho en Mexico),  peanut butter cheese crackers, peanut butter toast crackers, peanut M&M's, Snickers bars, Hershey Almond (could contain peanuts, per label), and a 5 ounce tray of peanut butter sandwich cookies.  They are all very popular items.  For a while, we had some great peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, we sold 2 for $2.  People loved them; until the company stopped making them.  We also sell some muffins with walnuts. 

Peanut allergies, according to Wikipedia , affect about .5% of the population.  That's very uncommon - one person out of 200 has some kind of peanut sensitivity.  Heck, one kid out of 140 has autism, and 1 out of 100 - well, that's FAS or Bipolar disorder percentage in the regular population.  The only thing rarer than a peanut allergy, is a FAS victim with bipolar disorder (me, and 1 in 300).  Actually. blindness has me beat - that's 1 in 500. 

Peanuts are my freinds, and they'll stay that way.  Don't try to take my peanuts or you'll have a fight. 

Oh, and I'm eating peanut butter right now - it helps with the nausea if I eat some when I take my lithium.