I chatted online a little bit with a guy I know, a medical professional, and he said there was no way Ron could have survived the heart damage. That it is appropriate to call it a "heart attack". And Ron's heart was a mess. I am really thinking it is a surprise he made it the 18 years after the accident.
But I am glad I had it even with the bad times. I remember this image:
That's who I remember. Not the belligerent drunk. Ron and his beloved "necktie". She is sitting by me right now waiting for treats, which she will get.
So pretty depressed today of course. I will just have to waddle through all this grief and eventually come out a better person at the end of it. I have noticed other widows are very sympathetic to me. They get it.
I also need to figure out dinner. I didn't eat much today.
That's it for now.
3 comments:
My dad said he would never be happy again after my mom died and spent the last 18 years of his life drinking himself to death.
You might be grieving for 5 years if you don't entertain the idea of dating sooner. ((HUGS))
Well I poured out all the liquor after Ron died.
I don't do anything addictive aside from modest amounts of caffeine and a rare sugary treat.
I don't want to leap into a bad relationship. My normal for those things is messed up; I have often heard older guys are looking for a purse or a nurse, and I am not up for any more nursing for a long time, if ever. I need time to clear my head and make a long list of what is and is not acceptable to me. That's going to take a while.
Since Ron died I have yet to meet (in person) any man who is a devout Christian and that is #1 for me. He has to have a committed relationship with Jesus and compatible theology with me. Ron and I had conflict at times over my faith and it was very unpleasant.
Unequally yoked, I sure get that!
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