Wednesday, September 15, 2021

Tuesday. And Wednesday morning

 Tuesday was pretty quiet, I can say now the storm was a non event.  Years ago a tropical storm came in.  I told Ron it was "dull and boring" as I walked home from the bus stop (I was on my handheld ham radio).  It evolved, a few days later, into an epic flood that stranded us and we had to walk 12 miles out down an elevated freeway.  Back when he could walk.  

So I kept my mouth shut.  I slept pretty well last night and tried on some of my new jeans.  These are the bootcut junior fit black ones.  $9 at Walmart not counting my discount.  Just around the house they are comfortable so I am happy.  

My timeclock app booted me, it does periodically, and I had to log in again yesterday but God made the process pretty painless.  I tend to get anxious and then my hands shake which makes it nearly impossible but God got me through it again.  So I should have an easy time logging in and out the next couple days until next week, which I have off.  That's a load off.  

There are so many things in my life, transportation, the app, just work in general I have to say Jesus hold me up I can't do this on my own.  That has been the big revelation this year.  How little I can do "on my own".  That's the primary lesson I learned from Ron's death; also learned how God will use anyone to aid me if that is His will.  

I am happy with the jeans.  Not great pockets but holds my phone and keys.  They are comfortable and fit well.  

My cycle is whack these days so God knows when that will start.  When I do I should lose some water weight and go into a "better weight loss" phase for a few weeks so that will be good.  But I didn't have a cycle for some months pretty much all summer and I was still losing.  It is nice to lose some weight and have things fit now.  

I was worried I would gain and become huge out of Ron's death so I tried to be careful what I ate.  

My old work facility gave me a pretty good slap yesterday.  They had a memorial page for employees who had died, Facebook showed it to me.  I liked the page and then sent them a message basically saying "Here's Ron" and they said it was only for people who worked at the facility.  Ron worked there for 20 years what do you call that?  But I realized it was the whole clan thing "Postal Workers Only".  But I was pretty upset for a while.  

The Blind vendors did very little for me because, I think, Ron had made a comment about 20 years ago.  Another local vendor had lost a child.  The two blind adults took out 7 small kids the oldest was about 10, one got away and drowned.  Ron said "They should have had better supervision for the children.  What blind couple goes camping with 7 sighted kids and no supervision?"  The other vendors were extremely upset by that.  But that was just Ron he spoke his mind.  I agreed with Ron if you are both blind and have several small children you need at least one sighted adult to help.  Someone from the blind vendors did sit with me at the hospital the first day after Ron's accident but that was about it.  

So Ron and I really had no clan.  Well, I had my message board gang and some old Rapture Ready friends on Facebook but that was it; but God still worked it and I got an amazing level of funding to get me through the next year or so.  

So I had to work through that.  It is really sad the whole clan mentality.  Cliques.  Can't stand them.  I try to be nice to everyone at work including the muslim women.  They are nice girls and I pray they find Jesus one day; I think Christianity is a lot "easier" for a woman than some other religions.  The Bible commands men to respect and value their wives, to cherish them, to treat other women as sisters and respect them as well.  So a good choice.  

Of course some men get that wrong.  One reason I am not in a hurry to date.  I feel a lot of conservative Christian men may be the old school dominate a woman and boss her around type.  And I don't want that; I want to be respected and valued like Ron did at the end.  

At the end, he was really good for that, he would tell me often how much he appreciated what I did for him and how I would never know how much it meant to him (to have my care and support).  He said thank you every time I helped him and didn't call me names.  I am just sorry it took him getting to the point of being completely bed bound to get there.  

Anyway I have to go drink my shake and get ready for work.  If I am missing comments I am just out of the habit for checking, that's all.  

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