I can't talk about my job because someone could find me. OOh that sounds so intriguing. But really it isn't. I just don't want someone calling the store out of spite and filing a complaint, or worse yet, going to corporate. So my job will remain a question mark. It does keep me busy and it is something I am capable of doing. Something I could do longer term.
So I didn't get much sleep last night, went to work. It was pretty uneventful at first the store doesn't really get busy until around 1 PM. Then... whew. It is very chaotic. I need to remember this and get my break before 1, come to think. Anyway I was VERY busy. I fled out of there at 3.
I call it escaping. If I see someone with their vest off moving toward the exit, and they seem sociable I will sometimes ask them "Lunch, or are you escaping?" They laugh and say "Escaping". I have fun with the concept. It does feel like that sometimes especially when it is very busy.
I did buy a pair of leggings ($4), a pair of camo print jeggings with four pockets, and a pair of shoes before I started work. The shoes did not fit but I kept my receipt, I will return them and they can pay for my ride home tomorrow. The clothes fit great (when I got home) and are cheap enough I can buy them in a new size as I lose weight. They were a 21, nice to be in a juniors size. Of course I have plenty of 22's and 20's (well 4 pair jeans total in the two sizes) that all fit great right now, so I am good for months to come now. And I have some cute options for when my family comes to visit.
I am totally happy in casual pants and a t-shirt but Mom is a photo bug and loves to take lots of photos. I may be vain enough, between us, to buy some sort of girdle thing to pull in my muffin top for the photos but still thinking about it. I wouldn't wear it at work just for the visit. THINKING about it.
My underwear is getting baggy. I had some smaller size I washed them and tried them on, too tight. So I will stick with these for now. I really don't want to buy all new underwear anyway even though they have a really cute 6 pack of black COTTON undies. That would be perfect. Plenty of time to get them later.
So I called a cab and got home fast, he was right around the corner. I wanted that after the day I had. The way I see it: I had a hard day. I need a drink? No, Ron would come haunt my ass if I did that. Some binge eating? No I want to keep losing weight. Buy crap? I have enough. A quick safe and friendly ride home, and help a father support his family? Yes. It is my one indulgence. He is thinking of telling the cab company to stick it as they want live feed cameras in all the cabs and he (and I) find that invasive. Sometimes people share very personal things with their cab driver they don't want strangers watching. For instance, sometimes I talk about Ron to the guy. He knew Ron very well and used to help get him liquor on occasion. If he does divorce the cab company that is fine I have his cell number and can just use that. Most skilled drivers have a whole roster of clients who call them direct. I can't remember the last time I called the cab company for a ride. I just call this guy. If he couldn't do it I would probably hail a Uber.
So, not sorry I did that. As I said I am helping him support his family and I feel good about that, he's a good guy. I remember the last time Ron rode with him he almost fell it was horrible. God really let Ron decline to the point we were both (Ron and I) ready to let Ron go. He wasn't living.
I texted my family I had gotten home OK, they like to hear that. I ate some smoked salmon (I did indulge a little when I "made groceries"), it was very good. Baby Girl was interested but did not want to eat it.
I am giving Baby Girl the Blue Wilderness Chicken when I get home from work every day. She really enjoys eating it, hopefully she will start looking better. Now I have to say she looks fine to "anyone" but I know her very well and her fur is not 100%. It looks dirty to me, and clumpy. Some odd tufts come out now and then. That isn't normal. But from what I read a lot of that can be food so we will see how she does on the Blue. I have to stand over her or Biscuit comes along and wants to munch, and it has fish in it which is a big no for him. If she isn't better in a few weeks it is off to the vet for blood work. She will hate that but worth it to at least know. I mean, if she's dying I would like to know so I can prepare myself.
Sometimes I think Torbie (age 16) is immortal as she keeps going and going.
The other cats are fine.
So I had a good nap but woke up with a nasty headache I attribute to the salmon. I am in the PMS stage right now (I don't get PMS symptoms except more food sensitivity and headaches from that) so I tend to headache at almost anything. Once I start I will be fine again. Hopefully I will also lose a little bloat, and the pound I gained.
I took some Excedrin and called my parents, they are good and looking forward to the visit. When I finished that I made a shake with: soy milk, frozen berries, a banana, some protein powder (hemp), and some frozen kale. It was pretty good. I took my PM medication with that, and an oregano oil, as I was around a little boy who was coughing a lot today and I don't want to catch it.
I don't plan to watch TV tonight I did get a good feel for the weather, it will be interesting Monday and Tuesday but not so bad the days I do work. And the grass can use it, when I went out to check the mail it was pretty crunchy. I am washing clothes because I don't like to run the washer during thunderstorms. I hear it is bad for the "new" (mine is 5 years old) ones.
I am really shocked I just don't cry very much. I would have thought I'd be sobbing constantly but I just leak a little now and then during certain songs or whatever ("Shoulders" by For King and Country being one). From what I have read that can be normal. I do feel sad at times, depressed for months...it is a process and I suspect I did a lot of grieving the last 5 years or so before he died... I lost him slowly and fast. I lost him slowly over years, at the end he couldn't even count! But wouldn't see anyone! And then I talked to him and 20 minutes later he's dead. So fast, as well.
He did not want to suffer in a hospital so I am OK with the way he went. Someone did tell me she could never live in a house where someone died. 1. I have the door shut and never go in there anyway. 2. People die every day. 3. He wanted to die at home and used to say that he hoped he would die at home. So he got his wish how can I feel bad about that?
So that has been my day. I will probably go to bed in about half an hour but you got the majority of my spare time today. :)
No comments:
Post a Comment