Saturday

 First up one of the blind vendors in the Houston program died of COVID.  We knew the man well; I didn't hear from him after Ron died but Ron always liked him and he seemed nice.  That's 2 dead vendors (different causes) in 6 months.  I hope he used Ron's death as an opportunity to make sure his family would be covered because you just don't know.  Greg was a slim man, very healthy and active.  Ron was of course a train wreck but Greg was not which is one reason I am so shocked.  

Friday night went fine at work.  I had some excitement this morning.  I wait at a bus stop in front of a vacant lot.  Today the tenant (he leases the lot) had a large container delivered which was rather alarming for me, the big truck whizzing by me, turning around DON'T HIT ME I'm thinking, but he got the thing dropped off OK and I got to work early, even.  

My boss saw me shopping (I decided to buy the $4 camo leggings in my size) and told me I could clock in early "if I wanted".  I ate my snack and did just that.  Work was pretty uneventful.  I was tired.  I did not want to fool with traffic.  

A little backstory on that.  There are a couple of ways to get home from work, the 2 bus route method (untried) and the 3 bus route method.  The last time I took the 3 buses she took a detour and I had to get off in the middle of nowhere and call a cab, the whole time I'm waiting I was kicking myself I should have just called the cab from the start.  The 2 route method looks better but it involves crossing a VERY busy street (with a pedestrian crosswalk, so it "should" be fine) which of course gives me the vapors.  I was doing OK with traffic but anxiety is an issue at times since Ron died.  

I tell myself anxiety is insulting to God saying He can't handle things for me.  And I think that's true.  But I still worry some.  It is just part of my grief process, I never cry but I can work up a good anxiety over things if I let it... everyone is different.  

No I don't want anxiety pills they are addictive.  Caffeine is bad enough (and I do moderate that).  So I didn't take the bus home I called the cab.  I made enough money with the overtime to cover it.  

I honestly don't know if I will take the bus tomorrow or not.  We'll see.  

I did get a really good nap when I got home.  I woke up with a headache so I took something.  

Female stuff here you can skip to the ** if you don't want to read it.  Generally when I have a cycle I have a heavy flow.  That has been interesting at work at times because I don't always have easy access to a bathroom.  But I am figuring it out.  

This cycle it has been very light so far.  I keep expecting the SURPRISE but nothing yet.  And it has been a few days.  So maybe this is it and they will all be like this now (which would be AWESOME) or it is just a fluke, or, my fear, the heaviness is waiting until I am on my feet in the middle of helping a customer and here it comes!  I don't know, I will see.  

God forbid the store does sell clothes 😂 if I needed it.  **

The cats are good.  I feed Baby Girl the Blue Wilderness Chicken when I get home from work, she looks for it and starts meowing excitedly when she sees the bowl in my hand.  After she's done Torbie has a few bites and then Biscuit tries but I don't let him.  The food has fish in it that's a no for a FLUTD cat.  

I did a load of laundry (including my new leggings) and just waiting for it to finish drying before I go to bed.  I feel like today took a lot out of me mentally even though I didn't do a lot of physical labor.  

That's it for now.