Ron was right...

 He was just crushed...😂 to hear there would be no bed bath and linen change today. I took Excedrin at 3, at 8.  Not much relief. I took some Kratom, got some relief.  Ron suggested I take some of the hemp tincture.  I tried that and it helped significantly.  It has definitely made my day bearable.  

I shredded up about 7 grams of hemp (legal in all 50 states) some months ago, and added about 5 ounces of cheap vodka.  I let it soak for a couple months then strained out the solids.  It is a very dark colored solution now.  I took a dropper full in some water.  

I will definitely do it again if the headache gets worse.  I was almost vomiting a few hours ago, but I was able to eat a granola bar.  But I'm not doing much today.  My spacebar is starting to stick on my keyboard I think I am going to have to buy a new keyboard when I go to Walmart Wed.  

I did manage to do my Bible study and read a chapter in a Christian autobiography.  I think I'm going to rot my brain on some TV for a while. 

I don't think I ever told you about the birds

 I have always liked birds my whole life.  My childhood home had a lot of songbirds, we enjoyed watching the birds out the windows.  When I was 8 my Dad "let" my stepmother get us a parakeet.  That bird was a lot of fun for us to watch.  She would get on your finger and loved to chew on the frame of my glasses (never hurt the frames).  A sweet little bird.  

She was joined by another bird.  My stepsister had a friend who bred parakeets and also had housecats.  One of the cats got into the bird area and killed most of the birds, except for a white parakeet that came to live with us.  The white bird was always skittish after that.  

I loved to go to the pet store and talk to the birds.  One family member signed me up for BIRD TALK magazine I got that for years.  I loved it.  One of the worst days of my young life, we had moved to CA.  

The school I attended did not have central air so they just had a window unit on each classroom.  The window units were not very efficient.  The units were in metal cages.  One day a poor little sparrow got trapped in the cage but the custodian had the day off, so they basically told me "we are going to let it die there's nothing we can do".  This poor helpless sparrow fluttering... it broke my heart and I cried so hard they sent me home. 

Not long after that I hand caught someone's escaped parakeet that had wandered onto school grounds. I took it home, I wanted to keep it, but my stepmother gave it away.  A year or two later my stepsister attended a graduation party and took me along (had to, I believe) and I was given someone's parakeet in a cage.  That bird was also given away.  About a year after that I was given a lovebird I was also not allowed to keep.  We still had the family parakeets, though.  When it was time for the first family bird to pass, they put the cage in my room.  I discovered her the next day.  Then I caught another escaped parakeet. That one went to the same neighbor as the first one I had caught.  Not my idea.  

I could have just as easily become a bird lady vs. cat lady.  When I moved out, though, Ron and I were discovered by a Siamese mix stray cat with a bad scar on her back.  So I became a cat lady.  

Anyway, I woke up with a horrible, hormonal, migraine today.  I took some Excedrin and went back to sleep and had a very nice dream about birds.  I woke up, I have 5 cats, I'm not bringing a bird into this but I do love them.  So I put on a Youtube track of sparrows singing it is very nice while I work.  

But OH this headache!  

Well, I had a miserable night.

 Too much caffeine!  I was miserable!  I did manage to drop off a few times.  Ron heard me flush the toilet at one point and asked for food so I gave him some roast chicken.  

I got up at 4:30 and gave Ron his pills and part of a nutrigrain bar.  He was happy with that and went back to bed.  I figured, at that point, I probably had as much energy as I would, for the day, so I took a shower.  I stayed up for a while and then went back to bed around 7.  

He has slept on and off through the day.  I slept about 3 hours and got up again, had a snack (protein) and some decaf coffee.  I am fairly depressed so I am trying to occupy myself.  I don't want to watch SVU all day that is super depressing.   

I found "Undercover Boss" that will work.  

The good news I counted what I took out of the bill changer yesterday (and a couple of other machines) and it is a tidy sum for my pay, about half what I am used to but these days I will accept what I get.  

So what am I doing for the depression?  Took my pills of course.  Had a protein snack. Listening to praise music.  Found another program on TV as the next Undercover boss was about a guy running a T&A bar.  Not interested in that I feel those places are degrading to women.  

I remember Ron and I went to one place the women were barely dressed, mostly men in the restaurant.  I felt so bad for the servers.  She really liked Ron because he wasn't objectifying her.  It was awful and overpriced.  Ron wanted to take Chuck just to see him go buggo for the women but I wouldn't let Ron make the call.  I pointed out - quite accurately, we didn't have the budget to go there and buying Chuck a meal + gas money (what Ron used to do for him) would punch a big hole in our budget.  And, I added, it wasn't fair to the servers to bring a predator.  

Enough about Chuck talking about him makes me more depressed because he just saw us as a big fat wallet.  A big, fat, STUPID wallet.  The minute we found someone else to take us to Sam's he stopped calling.  

I did call him once when Jack's truck was out of order, Chuck understood we would be taking 10 cases of water to work.  He had large boxes of crap in his trunk area when he came to pick me up and had a massive attitude about moving them.  You KNOW what we're doing and that I will need space.  You agreed to transport 10 cases of water, you know how big they are.  It was a very passive aggressive thing to do and that did it for me.  

Ron, it took one more outing where Chuck spoke graphically of his latest "sugar baby" and her attributes.  How he was degrading her and how she felt she had to allow it because she had very high electric bills and her 3 adult kids living with her weren't helping out.  So she was selling herself, cheap, rather than ask them for help.... it was awful.  

Done with that.  No regrets.  The nice thing about Jack he is a nice family man with a grandson.  His daughter was looking at his phone one day and saw some calls from me, "told" her mother, who said "I've got nothing to worry about from Heather" (she met me, the whole time I talked about Ron, realized I am harmless). I saw that as a high compliment. And she is completely right.  

For one, he has a pitbull that likes to kill cats.  😬  A couple, idiot, stray cats got into his backyard when the dog was out, it wasn't pretty.  I don't blame the dog it's just some dogs' nature.  But that's a deal breaker!  

Although I think Baby Girl could take her.  Won't find out.  

So I will have some money that is nice.  

That is on top of being able to buy our prescriptions.  I even paid my credit card $40 ($100 owed) early so happy about that.  

Finances are actually OK right now that's not depressing me.  It's just my brain.  It will pass.  

I am actually glad I'm bipolar because I at least get the manias.  But I think how it gets now on all this medication, and how very bad it was before.  I am amazed even God was able to pull me through it.  

So I at least had my protein but I still have to figure out dinner.  I did clean all the litter boxes Biscuit is urinating normally which is great.  He uses one box only and none of the other cats will use it, so I can monitor his outputs.  I will figure that out. 

I don't have to do the accounting report until Monday so I have tomorrow off.  

That's it for now. 

Forgive me, I'm tired

 I think it was the depression, I went to bed, slept fine as far as I can recall - but woke up utterly exhausted.  Sometimes I lie in bed in the morning with the alarm blaring wondering just how much Ron needs that seizure pill, catch myself, get up, and dose him.  I drank soda after (diet) soda and just could not wake up.  

I did take my pills on time and that helped, which makes me think it was depression related.  Jack picked me up and we went to the warehouse, they had mostly everything I needed - no peach tea - but enough.  I had just enough to buy a decent selection of candy in addition to my regular choices.  

When I got to work I did the canned soda first as lately everyone's been wanting a canned drink and I wanted to be informed on product selection (this one has cold Cokes, that one is out of orange, etc.)  I did that and of course no one wanted a canned drink all the time I was working!  

Then I did the bottled vendor, that took a while.  I left a detailed note for those who will read it about which drinks were cold.  The other drinks should be fine by now, actually.  Then snacks.  I had to redo the candy bar row in one machine to include more of those little cheese/peanut butter crackers.  It looked much better when I finished.  Then I had to stock all the candy and I had over 100 candy bars to do, not counting about 100 crackers, etc.  I got all that done and it looked good.  

Someone had left a nasty note on the bill changer because it was out of quarters.  I harvested what I could but it was only about $60 (took it out of all the machines and sorted it, put it right back in bill changer).  So they will be unhappy again.  I left a note reminding them of the change shortage and that I am doing what I can.  I took the money out of the bill changer and called Jack, hit a drive through and went home.  

I was aghast to discover my "only ketchup" burger was "only onions" if there is any condiment I can't abide it is onions.  I fed it to Ron, he was happy to eat about half.  

Ron wanted something different for breakfast today so I fed him some beefaroni.  He enjoyed that a lot but made a pretty big mess.  I put a towel on him as a bib, though, so he was fine.  It was a little tough getting the tomato sauce out of his beard.  But he had a good time.  And he ate about half the hamburger with onions when I got home.  

But the thing he had really been asking for: the frito pie.  I never had it until I moved to Texas.  Basically you take a one ounce bag of Fritos (for one serving) heat up some chili and spoon that over, then some onions, peppers if inclined, and grated cheese.  I did not do the peppers but Ron was very happy with it.  I have a couple more small bags of Fritos for him if he decides he wants it again.  I didn't think the Fritos would hold up very well to microwaving so I heated up the chili in a separate container and then spooned it over.  

So Ron got enough to eat what about me?  I was very tired.  I had 2 small bags of Nutter Butter bites at work, a hot and spicy chicken on the way home.  My protein intake was in no way adequate.  So I decided to get into my tub of yogurt.  

I get the quarts of yogurt and just eat out of the container, I'm the only one eating it.  I had that with a big glass of soy milk so I had a complete protein.  And more pills.  I am still tired but not as depressed.  The cats were fine.  

You may recall I bought some cat condos a couple years ago before it all went to hell.  😂  They were nice and sturdy, one apartment stacked on top of another, and then a loafing platform on top.  They cost me about $40 each and I got a total of 3.  I had two in the house and one in the garage.  Yesterday I brought the one in from the garage, put it in the reading room, next to the big cat tree.  Torbie loves it, it's right by the window.  I have one by the front door and one by the kitchen table as well.  Then I had room for Ron's home care products in that spot.  I wanted them close at hand.  

I am very glad with the setup, even though it means cat fur-niture is taking up more of my reading room.  They live here too and I want them to have fun/challenging spaces to hang out.  Most of them are "tree climbers" but Spotty and Cleo are "cave dwellers" so they each need a specialized retreat. 

I did most of my God Time as well.  Ron is back asleep between the seizure pill and the prostate thing he will be out for a while. Tomorrow/Monday I will see about him getting a phone appointment to get a refill on his blood pressure medication.  

Hopefully today's caffeine abuse won't have any lasting effect on my sleep tonight.  

Up at 3 AM, or Dr Pepper time.

 We had a cold front come through last night.  Ron lost his blanket sometime in the middle of the night and I had to adjust it for him, went back to bed.  Woke up at 3:30 hit the snooze a few times and got up.  Ron asked for his meds a little early so we did that.  I fed him as well.  

I still do the fast thing on a day like today I just don't have an appetite first thing.  

I went to work, waited a while, got the delivery, and stocked it.  Frustrating: a woman approaches the other vending machine as I stock, wants to buy an orange soda.  I explain they are not cold yet.  She pushes the button anyway.  I explain I have not stocked yet.  She pushes it again.  She could hear she just didn't want to hear it.  

If someone, stocking an open vending machine, with a big ring of keys around her neck, tells you it ain't there it's not!  Anyway I got it all done, did an inventory.  I took the change out of the machines, sorted it, and put $200 into the bill changer.  Then I took the dollar bills out and counted them, enough to do a good supply run at Sam's.  

I waited until 9, verified my bank was open, and called Jack.  We went to the bank (he waited) while I ran in, it was very quiet and only took a minute.  Then we ran to the Walmart, I looked for more vanilla pea protein (out of stock), got Ron a roast chicken, and came home.  

Ron was asleep for a while but woke up eventually.  More home care excitement.  He was happy.  I was happy he was happy.  He wasn't hungry.  He said he got up and went to the kitchen, made popcorn for himself, while I was gone.  Good to see he had some level of independence.  

I had some things I had to do, did them, and took a nap.  I slept about 90 minutes, woke up with a headache.  I took some aspirin, I had a cold Diet Dr in the fridge so I drank that and it did the job.  The trash pickup did their thing so I put the cans away and washed my hands.  They touch every can in the subdivision and guaranteed someone is sick.  Just smart to wash up after.  Ron is asleep again.  

I have a lot of my devotionals on my tablet and I took that with me to work (in the backpack), read that while waiting.  I will finish doing my God Time in a little bit.  

I am not sure what I am doing for dinner but Ron has a roast chicken.  I may just do a protein shake and then, later, a cup of noodles.  

That's it for now.  

Monday and some of Tuesday

 If I ever had a baby, I would not be able to breastfeed as mental illness meds are excreted in breastmilk and make for a very ill baby.  I'd be dependent on formula.  

I was thinking about this, as, two times this month I've been at a Walmart (different ones) and both times they had very low baby formula.  Disturbing.  It is my understanding it is not good to change up a baby's brand because they can get ill.  

Anyway, yesterday was a day off.  Jack was busy and work needed more time to accumulate sales.  I got ahold of my doc and will have my phone appointment next week (fine as I have medication).  Thank God I finally have his payment in my account.  So he will call in my scripts, all 4 of them.  

I thought maybe I could bundle the scripts and get Ron's and mine at the same time, but he is almost out of Flomax.  So I talked to Ron (he has complained he would like it stronger, but doesn't want to see his doctor - and will keep taking same dose).  I called the pharmacy and they had it ready in like 45 minutes.  Not bad.  It helps Ron takes this stuff by the month so it is easier for them to fill it.  My lithium, for instance, is 270 capsules.  

So I went to Walmart, where I saw the low baby formula, lots of sanitizer on clearance, and bought yet another bag of cat food.  I cackled like a hen when I found my pea protein (store brand) in vanilla.  I cannot do any chocolate due to vicious migraines.  I was proud of myself I didn't buy any garbage snacks.  It helps the pea protein really fills me up.  I used my gift cards.  👍

A pretty uneventful trip except for the little girl sneezing on me in the checkout line.  She was not wearing a mask and busy tearing up the display of candy/gum at the checkout.  That reminds me, I'd better take my herbs.  

They did a study and found that children spread the virus at a rate up to 50x that of a typical adult.  And often have minor symptoms so their parents feel fine taking them out in public.  But this is what one parenting "expert" termed "A strong-willed child" so doubtful they could keep a mask on her.  

But wait, I wasn't done yet.  I went to McDonald's.  While standing in line it dawned on me I had a gift card for that, so I used it.  I got myself a double cheeseburger, one for Ron (his way), and a plain hamburger (for Cleo but I didn't tell them as they always screw it up "for a cat".  "For my daughter" they do it right).  I came home.  Cleo was outside playing so her burger awaits in the fridge.  I will warm it up a little for her when I give it.  

Ron ate about half his burger when I got home.  He had a nutrigrain bar with his pills, I checked the label and they are actually fairly nutritious.  So I have no problem giving one.  

I went to bed pretty early, I was tired.  I had some excitement calling in my soda delivery but got that settled OK.  I hope. I will see what shows up tomorrow.  I have a feeling I will end up with 2 orders.  

We will see, I already arranged my ride to work tomorrow.  I did my God Time both yesterday and today, that's good.  

Tomorrow I never know how long it will be; but I will bring my tablet (in it's case).  I just got a biography of George Muller he was a famous evangelist of the 1800's.  One of his projects he did Bible distribution.  I had the biography in a paperback about 10 years ago but gave it away. I had more highlights in that book than any biography I've read.  No person is perfect but it is important to learn from the past.  I am charging the tablet right now.  

That's it for now.  

It doesn't make me look good, but I'll share it anyway.

 So today I had planned to go to the bank, do a withdrawal.  This will sound odd but I never make the withdrawals, I do auto pays, checks, etc.  I deal with cash for my business so I tend to have a little cash on hand.  "Bank" money goes in to pay auto pays basically.  

So how do I do this?  Are they going to give me a hard time?  I wasn't sure.  So I decided to wait on taking my morning medication (allergy pill, antidepressants).  

I went to the bank and did my business, went to the store and did a little shopping.  They had the Iams Urinary formula back in stock so I got a bag.  I paid and went outside to wait on my Uber.  

And there was a white guy, looked homeless, about 30.  He was manic and he was raving nonsense about how he was going to kill someone for daring to call the police on him.  It was awful, I felt very uncomfortable because I more than anyone knows the deep levels of CRAZY.  

And I'm standing there thinking, God did it again.  Every time I get sloppy with my medication I run into someone completely of their rocker and a clear danger to society.  Reminds me to get my shit together already.  It is very unpleasant.  

I knew this guy would have no problem beating my head to a pulp if he felt I was judging him in some way.  Because, in the right circumstance, I would do it.  

On a home note "we" had a massive poop blowout last night.  The blanket has to be washed, the sheets were OK because I had the disposable pad on the bed.  I can't endorse those enough.  Quite a bit of cleanup of Ron as well so I need to get all those washcloths.  Ron suggested I buy more and I did!  So I have a couple loads of laundry today but I will do it.  

I did not sleep well last night, Ron woke me up a couple times - but I wasn't going to leave him like that all night.  I can sleep tonight.  I got a couple of Dew Zeroes.  I like them because they don't have aspartame, which messes with my blood sugar.  I got a couple six packs too.  And more orange juice.  I love that stuff.  

I ALSO got more of the oregano oil capsules.  https://www.walmart.com/ip/Spring-Valley-Mediterranean-Oil-of-Oregano-Extract-Softgels-1-500-mg-60-Count/137224972  I take one everytime I go out and so far, so good.  I am also taking elderberry capsules as well - just one, every day I go out.  I need to take a zinc lozenge later.  Anyway they are only $7.  Don't take with a carbonated beverage or you will have "flavorful" burps.  I am used to it but it takes a while.  

Anyway your call.  

Ron also encouraged me to put a little money in my account when he found out I had $20.  I like to think I am happy with a little but it is nice to have a little more; I can do my phone appointment and get my prescriptions next week.  

I sure don't want to end up like that guy.  I wonder how long until he ends up in prison.  

A very long Friday

 I slept OK and got up on time, dosed Ron, back to bed for a little bit and actually woke up on my own before the alarm.  I am finding my sleep cycle much better regulated now that I have cut back so much on the caffeine.  I have also lost 5 pounds and require a belt to wear my black jeans.  

I took my shower last night because, as I've said, it's my plan to shower when I get home if I am "out" more than 1-2 places in a day.  We went to the warehouse.  

I was VERY disappointed I needed 2 home care items, they had neither.  Ron would have been set if he is an XL or a 60 inch waist.  I'm big but I'm not even that big.  They had the underpads but only the small ones.  I don't need those.  The XL work for us that's what I want.  So, nothing.  I resolved to make a deposit to my account and then buy the needed items from Sam's Club.com.  

They did have the coke, and all the supplies we needed.  Jack got some green tea today.  His wife was excited to see it.  I will get him anything up to $20 as his bonus for helping me in the store.  Even when he wasn't helping in the club I would get him some cookies.  We went to work.  

I had a whole lot of stocking, do a cash pull (take the $1 out and count), take the coins out and sort, put the quarters back into the coin changer.  Did it all.  

Then we went to the bank where I deposited the check.  My bank was nearby so I went there and covered the home care supplies.  I bought a Mountain Dew Zero and a bag of chips for Ron, we went home.  Ron at the last of his BBQ chicken sandwich and the chips, he liked them but said he would not want a large bag in the future (I got one of those "checkout stand" 2 ounce bags).  It was a nice treat for him.  

I just now gave him his pills.  

I washed up when I got home, sterilized my cell phone, took off my clothes and put them in the hamper, and took a shower.  I am as germ free as possible.  I also took my immunity herbs.  

I try to do intermittent fasting 16 "off" (fasting)/8 hours eating (occasionally, during the 8 hours not nonstop!  😂).  I was about at the end of my window so I had a quick protein shake and took my pills.  So I am fasting again.  It seems to help and is very doable, recognizing I need to take my medication with food, it can be arranged on this eating plan and I can eat pretty much anything.  

I do try to get enough protein, I did a food tracker religiously for a while and my protein was always awful.  So the protein shake was a good quick fix.  Unfortunately that is one thing I can't get shipped so I will have to look the next time I go to Walmart.  Iron was also a problem for me even when I felt I was eating a lot of meat, I wasn't getting enough iron so I always take an iron supplement - a multi with iron.  

The cats are good.  No one met me at the door but I saw everyone.  Ron is napping now he was fine all day.  

I am not checking the mail today I am tired.  That's it for now.  

This one should get it's own post

 I checked the mail.  I got something VERY nice I had been told we would get but they never said they were sending the checks.  They did; we got it.  

I can afford those home health things tomorrow, now.  😂  We will of course be wise stewards.  We also got our repair money back as well.  👍

I always share the bad news so I thought you should get this.  

Thursday

 I had a big "duh" moment recently when I realized Ron hasn't had a severe back issue since he stopped working.  He used to do a fair amount of lifting (from the wheelchair) and reaching his hand up to stock the machines.  But now he has moderate problems but not the major ones.  I told him and he agreed with me; if he goes back to work he won't stock.  I am glad the back pain (the worst of it) was so easily fixed.  Too bad it took a pandemic.  

The trash was supposed to pick up recycles and regular trash, but only got the recycles.  I figured, correctly, dozens of irate homeowners would call the company; they did, we got our pickup today.  I did wash my hands well after putting the can away because these guys touch every trash can in the subdivision.  I don't really doubt the workers' sanitation, if you'll pardon the pun, but the other trash cans...ew.

My Dad called to say hi to Ron, it was pretty uneventful but Ron did tell him, unasked, that Ron would check himself into a nursing home before he would cause me hardship "But we are doing really good".  We are going to get food delivered but the BBQ place is proving difficult.  But he likes the KFC fried chicken sandwich with the honey BBQ and no pickles.  I might get one myself, sounds pretty good.  I think they have wedges too for a side.  We are really blessed to be surrounded with delicious food places.  Uber eats is fantastic they bring it.  

Before I had Domino's or Chinese food.  That was it.  Now I can get boba tea if I want it.  

I will figure something out, we haven't had any food delivered in weeks.  One meal is not going to kill us.  

Cleo came out more today, I have to remember Torbie lived at the shelter for a month and probably lost prospective adopters to a younger, cuter, cat.  She feels threatened by Cleo even though there is plenty of room for both of them in my heart.  

I woke up with a headache and took some aspirin.  That helped but I have been going through a lot of aspirin.  That might not be a bad idea as I have a pretty significant cardiovascular risk due to family history.  My grandfather, mother, and Dad all had serious heart issues, two of them died of it.  

At some point I am going to go in for a checkup (it has been about 15 years) and get opinions on things like best painkiller to use for headaches, etc.  The last time I had blood work it was fine.  The blood bank was quite eager to get my platelets as I have a very good level (still in healthy range).  Anyone could get my platelets, interestingly enough.  Most people sell their blood but I had no problem donating.  

But they had problems with my veins and I take Depakote now which causes profound and nasty birth defects in a male fetus.  There was a woman in one of my groups had been taking it and just found out she was pregnant.  I told her to stop it immediately (it was for hand tremors not for seizures or anything) and talk to both her doctor and a lawyer because no good doctor should have given that drug to a woman who said she was trying for another baby.  

That was one question I was asked by my doctor, birth control, did I want kids, etc.  He was quite happy to hear Ron is fixed.  And I am well over 40 so I doubt I would have a viable pregnancy even if I did get pregnant.  That is OK I am fine having cats.  

I figure God has a family for me "beyond".  I wouldn't do well with kids, I think.  Although I never would have thought I could take care of someone with Ron's needs and do a good job.  Or having 5 cats.  I surprise myself.  

So today is just basically sit around and rot my brain.  I have my knitting and some puzzle books if I get bored online, have TV as well.  I haven't done my God Time yet either.  

I slept late today, until 8. I am going to wait on my shower till tonight that way I can take a shower when I get home tomorrow after work.  I don't trust people at work to stay home if they're sick.  Sam's I'm not really worried about.  

But they need to do temperature checks at work.  They won't, but they should.  That would cut down a lot of the "spreading" and I find it upsetting they don't talk about who's gotten sick.  I have been told, by people I trust, that it is "all over" the plant.  Great.  And they wonder why I keep him home.  

Anyway no one has told me I "have" to bring him in because they don't want the liability.  The other vendor stays home for weeks at a time so I am not breaking any rules.  The reports are filed, taxes paid, machines stocked.  

And I can do it, Ron had his doubts.  I think I am more a "rise to the occasion" person than an arrogant know it all.  Let me try, seems to be my motto, I will surprise us both.  

That's it for now.  

Wednesday

 So, an unexpected day off.  I woke up at 2 and just went with it, I transcribed my prayer notes onto the cloud so I won't lose them now, and can access from my phone.  Very happy about that.  Ron finished off his fried chicken he really enjoyed it.  

Next time I will put a towel down because he made a pretty good mess.  

I took a nap around 11 and slept about an hour, woke up with a headache.  Took some more aspirin.  It did a decent job.  

I had a real burden to pray for the inauguration/country today so I did that.  God wants me to pray for our leaders regardless of party affiliation.  The cats are good, most notably got petting from Spotty and Cleo (not at the same time) Baby Girl sat up for treats a few times.  Ron has been pretty quiet.  

He says he doesn't want any dinner (I will offer a meat/cheese roll up) and he wants me to fix him split peas tomorrow for dinner.  I can do that.  They are easy I could do them in my sleep, I have the right tools as well.  And I even bought a nice fresh packet of saltines for him (he likes the cracker with the soup).  I don't know what I'm doing for my dinner tonight.  

Likely I will have a protein shake.  Choices after that: pork and beans with cornbread; "peanut" butter (soy nut actually) and jelly; turkey sandwich; cup of noodles.  It is nice to have choices; I am glad I got the case of cup a noodles because I need a lot of sodium in my diet anyway and I love noodles.  I will think about it.  

Ron is a little mopey today I remember last year he had a horrible time, he was so depressed.  I want to keep him engaged without being that happy person shoving balloons in his face.  I will ask God for guidance on that.  But I think he is coming to terms with the loss of his parents, interestingly enough he has a harder time with his Dad - country music songs guys singing about their Daddies always cut him.  

I think the fact that his mother got kind of hostile at the end made it easier to accept her loss.  She's the one told him stop coming over.  They wouldn't answer the phone if Ron called, but when I got my cell phone they picked right up.  He just wanted their love and it was hard for her to give it.  If I had to guess I would say she saw it as limited caregiver resources and she had to protect hers.  I never wanted help from any of his family with Ron.  I was fine with the cleaning and all that.  I'm his wife, that's my job.  What I really wanted was a ride to Walmart once a week.  I would have been over the moon with that.  As it is I worked it out on my own and Jack gets the crown in Heaven for helping me.  But they were convinced I was going to make them change a diaper or wipe his butt.  

I wouldn't want my brother doing that for me, and he wouldn't want to do it either.  But a ride... that would have been nice.  But I would rather pay for rides and not be indebted to someone.  

Understandably, my Dad threatened to put Ron in prison when we were dating.  Didn't stop Ron, though.  😂  Statute has expired I can say there were a few felonies.  But Ron made an honest woman out of me.  

I am doing OK my shoulder is a little stiff.  According to an X ray some years back I have mild arthritis, likely from stocking.  I have found a workout with a stretchy band does a really good job of loosening everything up.  I am going to go do that now.  

And it helped.  I just need to remember to do them every day; and at some point I need to get back to working out.   I will focus on that this weekend.  

I want Ron to have a good day tomorrow but not sure that will happen.  It's up to him, really.  

And I am thinking more and more about a delicious turkey sandwich so I think I'm going to do that.    

So, my Tuesday

 Jack fell on his roof while cleaning his gutters.  He managed to catch himself (thank you Jesus!) before he took a header on the ground.  But he is pretty raw.  So we will not be doing the inventory run.  

Jack is a traditional Texas man in that he doesn't want me to do any heavy lifting, the kind of guy who had such a hard time with me at the gym doing deadlifts.  😂  So he will do all the lifting WHEN he feels better and not tomorrow as we planned.  

He did take me to work, I got the money, did an appraisal.  Machines are good for a few days.  Then we went to the bank.  I had enough to pay the cell phone, and buy groceries.  I went to Walmart.  

I was able to get everything on the list, for a change, and even found the 18 packs of the white washcloths I had been wanting.  I used one of my gift cards to get a basic hair dryer, which works quite well.  And I got tired of my pants being baggy so I got a cheap belt as well.  I suspect a few things are conspiring for weight loss: less snacking, very few diet sodas, intermittent fasting, lower carb eating, abundance of protein.  I haven't weighed myself but my pants are getting baggy.  The belt will fix that.  

I got the VERY last bag of the Iams urinary formula.  I need to check Chewy and see if they have it.  Yes, they do.  I can't run out of this stuff it could kill Biscuit.  And I love him.  I do have a reserve but not that much when you calculate x 5 cats.  But I have faith Walmart will do their best.  

Ron is set I got the sliced ham he wanted, more bacon, hard boiled eggs, all things he has been asking for.  I also got more split peas and chopped ham to make them.  His digestive issue got much better once I added the beans to his diet, and they are not hard to prepare.  I had plenty of laxative at home I look like a bulimic.  

So I got all my shopping done, checked out, came home.  I put the washcloths in the washer along with my pillow cases and some underwear.  Lately when I have had to do a load it required borax, washing soda, and baking powder all of which are very irritating to private areas.  They deposit in the underwear even if you rinse well which is why I use free and clear Tide BUT sometimes I want an extra boost.  This does the job, but I can't put underwear in that.  So I had a small load of just underwear, I put that with the washcloths and pillowcases,  just did one Free & Clear Tide Pod.  Now I have a nice stack of cheap towels and basic washcloths.  They are great for cleaning Ron up I do bed baths for him.  

I tried to take a nap, couldn't, got up.  I got some takeout on the way home so I wasn't hungry.  And here's a good illustration about the man I married.  He had been asking for the KFC Honey BBQ chicken sandwich.  I said I would "try" today.  I was taken to a KFC today but they did not have the BBQ sandwich.  I got him a 2 piece dark extra crispy with mashed potatoes, instead.  And he was thrilled to get it.  He didn't complain about losing out on the BBQ he just focused on the delicious 2 piece meal. And that's who I married.  He was also extremely appreciative of me for bringing it.  I was glad I had pegged him correctly as a 2 piece dark, Crispy man.  😂 Later on we had some home care stuff and he was very impressed how I handled it.  I am getting more efficient with practice, that is all I will say.  And having the right supplies makes a world of difference.  

I will admit to urinal fatigue, I get very tired of cleaning them.  But that's the worst I can say.  I am glad his kidneys work.  He said he is not impressed with his prostate medicine which is running out in about a week, so he will either have to refill it at this dosage or see a doctor.  I am fine with taking him if he wants to go.  I think it's fantastic he hasn't had a seizure since he started taking the Keppra that was so awful they would come up out of nowhere - and the last set, four in one night - just horrific.  So glad it was an easy fix.  His only other med is the Colace which is really doing the job without making a mess.  That is all I will say. 

At some point I need to do a phone appointment with my doctor but I am OK for a while.  

So, I don't work tomorrow.  I will enjoy my time off I might mop.  I need to.  But I swept and the floor is so much better for walking around now.  Spotty was on the floor of my bedroom, stretched out, doing his little "Superman" with legs in front of, and behind him, with his belly pressed against the floor.  I couldn't move him so I didn't sweep my bedroom.  I will try to get a photo of him doing that it is super cute.  

But I do need to mop.  But I will have a few days off as Jack recovers I wish I had some homeopathic Arnica for him.  I need to price that. 

But I have a good amount of supplies for 2 weeks or so, so I'm happy. 

Early Monday

 There's a name for it when people wake up confused... Ron was yelling for me to help him with his socks, paratransit was coming.  I yelled back he didn't have any trips and it was the middle of the night.  He said he was worry, and was quiet after that.  He gets like this now and then when he first wakes up.  It goes away in a couple of minutes or me explaining where he really is at the time.  

It's not sundowning, he is fine at night.  It is just a couple minutes every couple of weeks.  And he DID have a horrible whack to the head, 18 years ago.  I have seen the scar tissue on an MRI and it was pretty impressive.  I can see why he had such a grim prognosis.  

So I went back to bed, woke up at 5, gave him his pill.  He actually woke me up at 5 which was great, a little before the alarm, I want him to "own" his medication and he does a very good job with that.  So I got up, dosed him.  Then he was hungry so I heated up some Split Peas for him.  

I went back to bed for a couple minutes but I was "up" so I got up.  I got on the computer for a while.  I have been thinking, online.  

I wrote nice things about my governor who does a very good job, I feel.  If I had faith in politics I would say he'd make a great president.  The wheelchair doesn't matter he has a good mind and is a man of faith.  

One of my friends is disappointed her puppy adoption didn't work out; I have tremendous faith (I didn't say this) God has a BETTER dog for her.  I know the cats God sent me have been perfect for our lifestyle.  I am quiet and can devote a lot of time to Cleo, Spotty keeps us all entertained (he has a very loud and frequent meow when he is interacting), Torbie loves to sleep with Ron, Baby Girl loves him too, and Biscuit loves to "help" on the computer.  But it's not always the animal you think you want.  

Remember I went to the shelter to adopt a black kitten.  And I walked out with a torbie senior.  Torbie was a better fit; and the kitten did get adopted a week or two later.  

I don't think I ever told you about Oscar.  So Torbie was in a room with a lactating black female cat, a long haired black and white cat, and a few other cats too skittish to come visit.  A Latino family was interacting with the long haired cat, but he got distracted when he discovered I had treats (which Torbie wouldn't touch 😂).  He kept coming over to me and Torbie would hiss at him, Ron was across the room so I couldn't toss him the treats, so I threw the treats across the floor (the packet) and he started sniffing at them.  One of the family picked them up and asked if they could have a few.  By this time Torbie had been planted in my lap for a good 20 minutes, it was clear she was my cat.  So the father asked me very politely if they could have a couple of treats.  

Now it was clear Oscar really liked them, so I said take the whole bag, she doesn't want them.  They went to town treating Oscar like a king.  I found a vet tech and got the adoption process started for Torbie.  She was so mad when I put her down out of my lap and looked at me, so betrayed.  A big black guy, looked like a football player, said not to worry, he would make sure I got my cat.  

So I went out and I'm filling out some basic paperwork - basically questions am I going to be a good fit for a cat, and I was.  I kept answering "Whatever the cat wants to do".  I waited in another line to show my ID and verify I was a homeowner not a renter who would get in trouble for the pet.  

And the guy came out with Torbie in a carrier.  "Here she is!" he was so proud.  "That's your cat!"  I asked what had happened to Oscar and he pointed out the family leaving with a carrier.  I was very happy to hear it, they were perfect for him.  

So I really believe God works out these animal adoptions.  

I have always said I would go for older cats, but twice now in the last 10 years I have ended up adopting a pair of kittens.  And if you are going to adopt A kitten adopt two, they are half the work.  They still love you and want to play, but won't be biting your toes at 3 AM like a singleton.  Biscuit seems OK without Gravy and Cleo and Spotty are still very bonded.  They don't sleep together but they play a lot.  They will be 2 next month, best guess.  

I have been a little manic this week (posting a lot is generally a good clue for you as a reader) but don't want to shop or go out.  Virus levels are pretty high here so I plan to keep my trips to a minimum.  

One thing I need to discuss with Ron, we use disposable bed pads for him.  He has had a couple of urinal spills and they made cleanup so much better. Walmart stopped carrying the 30x36 they are only 2 feet by 3 feet now.  I got a couple packs of them because I need something but I would rather have the larger pad.  And Ron is happy with them on the bed.  

I found some on Sam's Club.com  I didn't think of that.  So I can get them delivered for free (I am a plus member might as well use the benefit - we did it mainly for early shopping hours though), or just go with Jack and buy them.  But Ron might not want Jack to know; so I will ask and go with whatever he says.   

I took a shower, Ron woke up and I asked him.  He said he didn't care if anyone knew "It's a part of getting old".  So there you have it; I can just get it when we run to Sam's.  Feels nice to be scrubbed, I even shaved my legs which were really bad.  When I'm depressed I don't see the point of shaving a leg that will be under jeans anyway.  But I got it.  

I have some cheap fake Oil of Olay bodywash that is for sensitive, dry, skin, that worked really well for the leg-shaving.  Regular bar soap does a decent job still although my hands tend to look very dry at times.  Which reminds me to apply my lotion.  I keep a bottle by the computer. 

That's it for now.  

Sunday

 I slept OK but woke up tired; however I decided to up my protein so I expect increased energy.  My appetite is greatly reduced with the pea protein shakes and the Walmart generic version of that is actually tasty.  My total calories are way down, so's my snacking, so I expect to lose weight.  And the powder is something I can afford on a minimal budget.  

I also got out my whey protein powder.  I am aiming for 50 grams of protein a day.  If I do one of each shake I hit it there.  Then I just need to eat something filling to take care of the lithium, even a cup of noodles will do that.  

So I did my God Time, prayed, Bible study.  I am debating adding another devotional - and YES I got one I really wanted for free with my Prime.  Well, I paid for it, just not outright.  $128 a year I had better get a YES now and then.  

I am at the point in my life where my #1 task is doing God's will.  Making myself or others happy - no thanks.  One reason I made the unpopular decision to stay with Ron in spite of everything.  God made me He knows what works for the best in the long run. Doing my God Time helps attune me to what He wants for my day.  

And yes, I am still bitter about various things, the guy who ran over Ron getting away with it, the way Ron's family ditched him, etc.  I have issues in my own life I'm working out.  

I did get some good news (I hope) my parents got the vaccine.  They were both over 70 and various health conditions - high risk, so they got it.  Good.  

And Ron asked me to give him some Calcium-magnesium-zinc supplements which can only help.  I do worry about his bones so glad he is doing this.  Ideally I'll get him taking the multivitamin again so he can have full coverage.   

And he got sucked into another vitamin scam, the kind where the miracle product is delivered for free and then they start up with the automatic billing.  He did not give any information, though.  

And Baby Girl is growing dreadlocks again.  I got her trapped in the bathroom and untangled some of it before she had enough and started wailing.  I let her out, gave her a COPIOUS amount of treats, and she forgave me.  I will take it a little bit at a time and then treat generously each time.  

I am very gentle with her, but she hates the process.  For whatever reason it is always the hip area of her back right leg.  But she's an older lady, 9 this year.  My cats are all escalating to seniors, Torbie, Baby Girl, even Biscuit is 8 this year.  But they're good babies and I will do my best for them.  

It was sunny today but a little cool for my taste so I didn't get my sun bath.  Thinking some more about Ron and the vitamins I am pretty pissed she told him he could go off his blood pressure medicine if he took it.  That is a huge violation of FDA rules.  "Cure prevent and treat" are claims you cannot make for a supplement.  

I hope they get fined.  

Anyway Ron doesn't remember the credit card numbers thank God so we have escaped a few bullets.  

And that was about it for my day so far.  

Saturday

 I woke up feeling really tired but got up because I was about halfway to a bad headache.  I took a 100mg caffeine tablet and that helped, took care of Ron, did my prayer and Bible study time.  A really good message from Spurgeon today.  I downloaded a pretty badly scanned copy of the devotional some years ago as part of a bundle and recently found it; I like it a lot.  

This one was about asking God for things, to do it confidently, that He wants to help, don't be distracted when you do.  Bible study I am working into Exodous.  I have a daily Bible and a Chronological so they will diverge more the later we get into the year.  I am very happy with my reading materials.  Then I prayed for everyone, you included, and myself.  

I told God I know He has my needs supplied but just to remind me sometimes.  I thanked Him for what He has given me, etc.  Then I made some tea.  

Ron and I had coffee with cream for breakfast, he likes Splenda in it.  I put it in a bottle so he has an easy time drinking it (swallowing is an issue for him).  A while later I made a protein shake for myself, the Walmart "plant based protein" is actually very good.  I am still full hours later.  I also made a large batch of iced tea with mint.  

I took a shower (didn't, yesterday) and got clean pretty quick. It was late enough in the day I didn't take a nap.  Hopefully that will make for better sleep tonight.  

I realized I had lost my "back door" keys (I had them on separate rings) and ransacked the house looking, didn't find them, but I did find a ring of spare keys so I am not worried about it.  They will turn up.  And I did some organizing which needed doing.  That took a while.  I got back online.  

I just need to figure out what I am going to do for dinner.  Ron wants scrambled eggs and bacon, I'm happy to do that because I want him on more of a keto diet.  I don't buy him chips I offer to cook him a protein food with fat, he doesn't mind.  He does eat a lot of beans and a modest amount of bread and rice, but nowhere near the conventional American diet.  

We have eggs so I will likely have a couple of fried eggs, sausage, and cheese for my dinner.  Eating on the cheap does not mean starving.  And I have a lot of sausage.  

Friday

 I slept OK last night but woke up with another headache.  I took some Excedrin but it took a while to work.  I thought I might as well work on the sales tax today (due on the 20th).  

First, however, I had various home care for Ron so I did that, got taken care of everything.  Ron was fresh as a daisy, fed, and watered.  

Then I went to work on the sales tax.   I hadn't taken my pills yet which is a good thing.  I had to navigate the page.  Remember, Texas does not have state income tax (it's in our constitution) so they get quite a bit of revenue off sales tax.  My hands decided now would be a great time to have a tremendous bout of the shakes!  I could hardly use the keyboard and the whole time I'm thinking DON'T SCREW UP.   

I got it done, I was glad I put extra in the account I had forgotten about the processing fee.  But I got that done.  

I got on the computer for a while.  I tried to take a nap but couldn't, so I got up and started fixing the split pea thing Ron wanted.  I just now finished it we will see if he likes it at pill time.  

God knows it expanded during the cooking process 1 cup of split peas, 5 ounces canned ham, half a can of corn, and half a cup uncooked rice blew up into half my stockpot full of food. I sure hope he likes it.  I did most of the dishes I just need to get the spoon, spoonula, and stockpot.  I have been wanting "something" to eat but couldn't tell you what so I have tried to limit my snacking.  

That was pretty much it for the day, with the exception of Baby Girl taking over the computer chair.  It did me good to see Cleo more assertive at treat time getting in there and getting her fair share.  They are good cats.  

That's it for now.  

So cute

I don't have the heart to move her.

I did get sales tax done and will discuss later.

The rest of the day, whatever day it is.

 I opened the fridge and saw the rice dressing mix and realized I had to cook that today.  It was frozen on Monday and Tuesday so probably needed cooking today.  And I felt well enough I did that, it took a while but Ron really enjoys it.  

And he did.  He has eaten about half of it.  It is basically chopped organ meats and spices simmered for 20 minutes and then mixed with plain white rice (per package directions and label).  You couldn't pay me to eat it but it is a Louisiana favorite and very readily available in Houston.   

So he's been working on that all day and having a good time with it.  After I did all that I took a nap and woke up with another brutal headache.  I am getting TIRED of these things.  I have been able to take care of Ron and do all the dishes (the rice dressing requires a fair amount of dishes).  

And I have to give props to a kitchen favorite, my spoonula.  I got it last year, so awesome for cooking thick foods.  And also good for getting the mayo out of the bottom of the jar.  Here is is: 

If you don't have one I suggest you get one, they are very handy.  Made of silicone so it can take some heat as well.  

I am slowly adding in red kitchen accessories.  My aunt was horrified when I told her I want to do my kitchen up in red, but I have a purple bedroom and an orange Bible study room, so not really surprising.  So I didn't PAINT it red but I am adding red accessories.  

When I was a kid I used to like to look through the catalogs that came to the house, and JcPenney had wallpaper for a while, they had the cutest small red heart wallpaper on a white background, and then a matching trim with more ornate red hearts and black accents.  I loved it so much I thought it would be perfect in a bathroom (I am a romantic so not a big surprise).  I can't do the kitchen up like that (wallpaper is a bitch, I hear) but I can do red accents on a white background, or, in my case, I will do it in cream.  So I have a red stockpot, the spoonula, when the microwave finally goes I will get a red one, etc.  It might be cute to get some framed red heart prints and hang them on the cabinets, if people do that?  Anyway so I like red accents in my kitchen.  It's a great tool and worth the money I spent.  

Dishes went pretty easy the cooking pot is nonstick, so is the rice pot.  My kitchen is so small and Ron took a big cabinet for "man stuff" so I keep the rice pot out in the garage.  😂  It is fine out there, I just don't use the rice pot that often, maybe 2x a month.  Coffee pot and kettle get used several times a week so I keep those on the counter.  Oh, and I have a red (manual) can opener.  

I am not very hungry so the plan is to eat a cup of noodles just to get my pills down and then maybe eat some garbanzo beans later.  I love garbanzo and kidney beans.  Sometimes I mix them together right out of the can and eat them.  Ron would rather not he prefers a split pea, pork & bean, or pinto.  

I thought it was interesting he said he wanted to have the split peas with a can of corn and some rice added, with the ham of course.  I may have to use the big pot for that it will expand.  

Last year, during my purge, I got rid of some pots and a roaster pan I wasn't using.  I have the stockpot (5 quarts I think), a 2 quart saucepan, a big iron skillet and that is it for ovenware.  I have some baking pans but I don't do any baking.  I have canned food and various shelf stable foods in the "pots and pans" cabinet.  I think that is a better use.  

I really feel I have the right amount of cookware.  

It is really nice having the canisters of lentils, split peas, and rice (3 canisters) on the counter so I can just grab it when I am cooking.  They are all good proteins (maybe not the rice but it completes a bean protein) and easy to prepare.  

I don't mind doing some cooking but I want Ron to love it.  Yes, I said it.  If he doesn't love it I'm not cooking it.  So I knew he liked the rice dressing already so I felt fine spending an hour of my life on that.  I did make a mistake on it.  I prefer "hey stupid" directions with steps on everything, like "remove box before you put in the microwave" type things.  Anyway the dressing did not have very specific directions on cooking the meat mixture.  Cook some white rice, yeah, I got that.  1.5 cups finished was the right amount, by the way.  Ron prefers a little more rice.  I think because he grew up "dirt" poor and they used rice to stretch all the proteins.  

That is one reason I never ate protein food when I would visit his parents, I would say I already ate but I would love some rice and vegetables.  I would praise the quality and flavor of their rice, which was basic store brand rice in a rice pot.  Then I would eat the rice and vegetables so I wouldn't take their protein.  I grew up with abundant proteins which is one reason I am probably "so tall" per my brother (five foot 7).  No one told me to do this but it seemed kindest.  If they had a big holiday meal with abundant meats, I would have a few ounces, and it was always good, but they taught Ron to stretch everything with rice.  

But "simmer for 20 minutes" I get simmer but did it need water?  How much?  I put a cup of water and that was WAY too much.  I had to cook it down an additional 20 minutes.  But I know now, a half or a third cup water will do it.  And Ron said "put it on the list" (short list of favorite foods) so I can do it again.  AND the rice dressing mix was only $3 I spent more than that on soda most times I went to Walmart.  

Speaking of Walmart, I got the card and thank you VERY much!  I also got a Bible catalog that is one thing I love to drool over and free shipping!  Oh, it made me whimper.  I need to think about doing a Bible Handout soon.  I have them in the garage I just need to go hand them out.  One thing I would like a "happy face" mask because the recipients are always trying to gauge me when I walk up.  Normally I smile widely but they won't see it now, will they?  😕  But I want to make sure God is leading me when He does I always have a great Handout.  

Anyway, Ron still liked it and that's what matters.  He has dysphagia which is a swallowing problem, and he does better with thick foods.  The rice dressing is nice and thick, so are the bean dishes he's been eating.  I always have my eye on his protein too.  

About a week ago he said he didn't want to take 4 pills at 5 PM every day.  He has the prostate pill, seizure pill, and the stool softener (I know TMI).  I was adding the multivitamin in there but he said take it out and give it at a separate time.  

So I got out the "big boy" pill organizer with four compartments a day.  I appropriated the two compartment one for myself and now have 3 weeks of pills to my right as I sit on the computer.  I have his 5 AM pills, then the multi for the noon pill, but I am not used to 3x a day pill dosing and keep forgetting it.  He will take it if I give it but I need to remember.  I think I may need to set an alarm for a while.  

And speaking of pills I need to eat my cup of noodles and take my mood stabilizers. That is it for now.  

Wednesday and some of Thursday

 Yesterday went pretty well, I had $210 for inventory after transportation.  We went to the warehouse, Jack goes in with me now to help, look around.  I spent most of it and got a good supply of inventory for a week.  Came back to work, stocked it.  Went home.  Took care of Ron and the cats; did my God Time.  

I did have an allergy attack (eyes) which I didn't think much of because I do get eye allergies now and then.  But I absolutely DO NOT want eye drops even if I could get them for free.  I would worry about them messing up my eyes.  

So I went to bed pretty early (Ron had the pintos with ham for dinner and I had a peanut butter and jelly, I had a protein shake when I got home).  I woke up about 10:40 (I know, some people hadn't even gone to bed yet!) with a horrible migraine.  I took my excedrin and went back to sleep.  Woke up later with severe eye allergies.  I got one of my hankies (for just this) and wiped my eyes carefully and that helped, I put the hanky on my bedside table where it will stay.  Went back to bed, an hour or two later it was gas and abdominal cramps.  Really?!  

I got up and took a Gas-X.  Went back to bed for a while.  I finally used the toilet and felt better, back to sleep.  Only to hear Ron, oh, so, politely saying it was 5 AM and wasn't it time for his pills?  [censored] I forgot to turn on my alarm.  I got up, dosed him, back to bed.  

Then he woke me up a couple hours later needing assistance (this was legit and I would absolutely get up for this every time) so I helped with that, by the time I finished I was well awake.  I made some coffee (12 ounces regular, 6 ounces decaf).  

I am hoping to get a good nap today but I feel OK with a good energy level.  Ron is asleep.  He asked for split peas with ham, rice, corn and I told him I would make it later.  I have all the ingredients so I don't see a problem.  And the beans are doing wonders for his regularity.  And they're good protein with micronutrients.  

I do have the day off, but only $6 in my pocket, I believe.  So I won't be going out.  I have the essentials I am not going to whine.  Money comes, money goes, God is eternal.  Ron knows I am staying.  We will just have to be clever, which is one reason I am so happy he likes the split peas.  I have cat food, we both have medication, Januaries are always terrible for us with sales.  

Ron did say "The church" called to see how we were doing.  It could be one of two churches.  The downtown version of the church was great and I liked them a lot, but it was a very long ride on public transit and Ron's back wasn't really up for that.  The other church called me a drug addict for taking my mental illness meds and also told Ron he was "Making" me depressed with his drinking, also said I couldn't have a blog and if I did I would have to be very vague about everything.  

Don't get me wrong: I obey God.  God says to forgive I do it.  A good example, the other night I had a dream Ron's brother and him were barbequeing in heaven together.  It was all very festive and jolly.  I hope his brother does get to Heaven.  And that's when I realized I forgave him even though he blamed me for the accident, slandered me (a lot!), and even kidnapped me one day.  But I am past all that to the point where I can pray for him (brother) and mean it.  I am very happy about that, but it wasn't a quick walk.  I don't want to walk around carrying hate like my maternal grandmother.  

God wants me to stay with Ron, so I do.  That hasn't been easy at times as you well know.  But I am glad I have, I want to please God I don't care about anything else.  But everything in me says God wants me to 1.  Share my struggles 2.  Take my mental illness medication.  3.  Have some supplies for bad times (pastor preached against people who do that on more than one occasion).  

Also, I haven't heard from these guys in YEARS why now?  (four and a half years)   I very cynically told Ron maybe they have some Bibles they want distributed so they are calling me in like some sort of lineman.  I don't know, but if you care why didn't you care years ago?  Church members can read my Facebook it is open as far as I know.  I don't complain there I don't believe in complaining.  

And that is one thing I am begging for, from God, in all of this: don't let me be a whiner.  I don't want to be that person; and I have been, in the past.  But I want to be an overcomer and not a whiner.  I don't even talk about "all" I do for Ron, I do a lot, God enables me, that's all you need to know.  I will be coy, there.  But it is freaking me out a bit I imagine it's like an ex calling you years later "to talk"  😕

Anyway I thought that was really odd.  It is sad that a church can hurt a person who is striving to walk in God's will.  I really didn't appreciate the finger pointing during the sermons while shouting about "drug addicts on mental illness medication".  Not one bit, especially as it is so hard for most of the population to get up the nerve to start, and keep taking, the medication that keeps them alive.  No one's going to go off on my brother for taking insulin.... 

It's sad. 

This headache won't quit

 It was bad enough I had oatmeal for dinner.  And a part of me always wonders if something is bleeding in my head when I have one of these headaches.  I have taken aspirin, Excedrin, and my favorite an aspirin (one tablet each) and a Tylenol with a diet Dr pepper my low caf version of an Excedrin.  The last is actually working fairly well.  

Ron hasn't needed much, happily, I made him some pintos with ham the other night and he loved that.  Seems obvious but eating beans have helped with his "little problem".  Good, neither of us want him backed up.  

And some service can be almost spiritual if I look at it that way, serving God instead of Ron.  Although I would like to think I would do what I do just for Ron.  Happily I have the supplies I need to do a good job by him.  

I did some thinking, I had $20 left on my gift card from my stepsister.  So I decided to buy some more of the decaf coffee we like (Seattle's Best Decaf Portside Blend), and a flavored decaf coffee by another specialty roaster.  It is really hard to find flavored decaf coffee.  And it's only $4 and IT'S NOT MY MONEY so why not?  But I did get the "sure thing" just in case because I know we will drink it.  

I was really disappointed with the HEB Texas pecan coffee I taste nothing outside of a medium/dark roast.  I will drink it because I'm not going to be wasteful but I won't buy it again.  Now their generic brand can coffee wasn't bad.  So I'll get that from Joe V's (HEB spinoff) but not their fancier brand.  

I didn't have ANY coffee today because my headaches HATE coffee.  I find that interesting.  I did drink a fair amount of iced, and peppermint, tea.  I am working on a spearmint right now.  That helps.  

And the shower helped interestingly enough.  Long enough I got everything done.  I am still getting in the habit of applying lotion to my hands, I have never had to apply lotion in over 4 decades.  My skin is just that oily.  But all the handwashing has done a number on them so that, plus homecare (more washing), and just everyday housework, litter box (gotta wash real good after that!), etc. I need lotion now.  I have a hard time remembering so I put the hemp lotion next to my computer.  It's a little sticky but not bad for $1.  I try to put the cocoa butter lotion (also $1, this time at Walmart) on my hands at night but don't always remember.  The cats like a lot of petting when I go to bed but I did research and I should be Ok as long as it is not medicated lotion like the stuff I put on Ron.  

I am just waiting for my hair to dry, if we make enough money I may buy a cheap hair dryer tomorrow if things workout.  It would be nice to go to bed but I hate sleeping with wet hair.  

But I did my shower so I don't have to take it tomorrow, which means I can go back to bed for a while if I want after pill time in the morning.  

Tuesday

 I slept pretty well but woke up with a headache.  A lot of these headaches are related to my medication, the mood stabilizers in particular can be brutal.  But my illness is worse.  

So I got up, took my Excedrin, took care of Ron.  He agreed to start sitting up on the edge of the bed for a while every day.  I want to feel like, eventually, I can get him out of the house quick in an emergency, that I can get him to the doctor, etc.  He was quite amenable and said he did feel better sitting up for a while.  I did some Bible study and helped Ron with some personal care.  

I felt very intelligent I had everything at hand before I started so it was easy to finish.  I did discover I need 4 washcloths and not 3.  But other than that it went perfect.  Ron felt very loved and said I am "wonderful" about helping which is God in me.  

He wouldn't care if I shared this, I will admit it has been odd cleaning his man parts.  I am just not - never did that for him he always did that.  But sometimes vision is required for various bathing tasks so I do it now.  I am fine with that, we are married, his man parts and I have had some very good times.  😂  It is just odd approaching them in a cleaning context but I am getting better at it.  He doesn't complain, and he would, if I wasn't careful so I guess I am doing a good job.  Just something I oddly enough did not expect to do.  After I finished I did a load of laundry but my special detergent booster worked great and everything is spotless.  

I can't wash my underwear in the washing soda and all, it would be very irritating to my privates, so I segregated that all off to the side while I washed the tshirts and towels in the "booster".  

So I am pretty much caught up on clothes.  I will need to wash Ron's fitted sheet tomorrow it is a little tired.  But that isn't too hard.  Practice on home care really does make perfect.  

I think Ron is really surprised I made it this far, but, like I said, God in me.  I would hate to need help and not have it available.  If we don't get raptured before I get feeble I have no idea who will take care of me.  I don't have any close family.  If I get feeble now I don't have anyone.  I will let the social workers figure that one out if it happens.  

I do carry an empty bottle of Ron's seizure medication in my backpack so an Emergency room professional will know I have a seizure patient at home who needs help, if I am unable to talk.  I think about stuff like this.  

Hope I never need to implement any of that.  

So he was happy and I feel like I am giving him good care.  I sat down with the tablet to do my Bible study, I have some of it in Kindle books/Bibles and some of it in paper.  I was doing the electronic.  I was facing a line of 3 litter boxes in my front room.  Every cat likes a different style box.  Biscuit prefers a box with very high sides.  He put his paws up on the edge of it, looked down into the box, clearly unhappy.  I took a look.  Ah.  So I cleaned it out while he went and used another box in the orange room (the most popular box - I actually put it in there because someone kept peeing on the floor there and I took it as a request for a box - once I put the box they only ever used the box from then on).  So I took care of the cats too.  

I had a limited budget yesterday, to say the least, and I thought it was funny some of the stuff I bought: 

6 pack diet Dr (normally I buy a couple of the checkout sodas but they are more expensive than the 6 pack); cream (already have coffee, sweetnener, and filters); yogurt; dressing mix for Ron (he loves rice dressing and it is easy to make); more split peas because Ron can't get enough; canned beans for me; generic brand spaghettios; cheddar cheese ramen; eggs; and bananas.  I have a pretty decent freezer and pantry so I didn't "need" a whole lot.  

I have to go back so I will be buying the cat food then when I pay the electric bill.  Anyway I kept it all under $20 that is a lot of food for us.  Sometimes it's a good challenge to see how cheap I can go.  I didn't have enough money for sales tax, inventory, and electric bill but I should have the electric at least by tomorrow.  And electric isn't due for another week anyway.  Ron's disability is pretty much eaten up in mortgage, cable/internet, and gas bill.  As he used to say you can't get blood out of a turnip.  

He has been very temperate in his drinking lately, in part I believe because he gets dizzy when he does over indulge.  It is very unpleasant for him so he doesn't drink as much.  Which is good because he's not buying it either.  

About the only thing I could really use, aside from the cat food, is one of those 18-packs of the white washcloths I will be looking if I go tomorrow.  I put it on my list.  

Headache is NOT quitting I think I will lie down for a while.  Interestingly it is not hormonal as I just finished my cycle.  I think it's weather related.  

Some thoughts

 So, I had years of therapy as a teen and one thing it taught was how to examine myself.  

I got to thinking, what is my real faith issue and chased it down "Is God sovereign?"  The answer to that is, yes, of course.  

Then nothing else matters.  It's been a pretty quiet morning I did do my God Time and helped Ron with a few issues.  Ron asked me to make pintos tonight (I made split peas last night) so I put them on to soak.  It is an easy enough recipe and it can't hurt him to eat some beans.  Good protein, fiber, microminerals, etc.  

The cats are good, Spotty is starting to lie down with Ron now, which Ron loves.  He did that twice today, really made Ron's day.  

Ron's ears were clogged so I gave him a Sudafed and he said that helped.  I only get the new ones, the phenylephrine because they wouldn't cause a fatal seizure like the old formula.  It only causes a seizure with Wellbutrin and I have to take that.  

That's it for now.  

Saturday "God is on the throne"

 I got the electric bill; not unreasonable and, considering, really damned low considering Ron keeps it at 80 and it has been running a lot.  But bills!  

I have to do the electric bill and then sales tax.  I need to calculate how much we owe, probably between $300-400 because sales have been low.  I know God has my back but it is hard not to worry.  

We have been pretty comfortable for a while, about 10 years up until last year, but even most of last year I could get my whole paycheck and cover the bills with no problem until about September.  

But GOD IS ON THE THRONE.  He is not going to let us starve.  I will have to be very careful how I spend the money.  I can do that; I have lived on extreme budgets and have a decent canned pantry.  I will be happy as long as I can get the cat food.  

Then I have some people I know just losing their minds over political events.  I don't care what side you lean: GOD IS ON THE THRONE.  

There is no injustice.  By that I mean everything that happens is the will of God, even the hard stuff if that one gal is still reading.  God can use even that for good if you let Him.  But we have to understand it works for His plan, all of it, even the maniacs running around the Capitol building.  

Is it alarming?  Yes.  If you have faith in man's law, man's rules, even man's constitution you will be disappointed.  I have faith in the God of the Bible and He is bigger than all of this.  

I also believe the rapture is closer than ever so I won't see the long end of this.  Do I deserve to be raptured?  No, but I have faith and I accepted God's offer of grace and redemption.  It's as easy, and as hard, as that.  

The hard part is turning things over to Him, like my budget, Ron's health, even Biscuit's health.  He (Biscuit) could get blocked any time and die.  My parents are older in poor health.  Business is completely dependent on 8 vending machines stocked and working properly, customers having a desire to purchase, etc.  Anything could go wrong with my house at any moment as I found out a year ago.  My sanity is dependent on double handfuls of toxic medication taken twice a day.  

Could I handle all that on my own?  NO.  I do my best to leave all this in His hands.  I have said it before, I don't see how atheists do it.  I do better when I leave it all in God's hands, while doing intelligent things like buying inventory and stocking my machines.  Feeding Biscuit his special food, Ron his seizure and blood pressure medicine, etc.  

By the way, Ron is very impressed with the Colts.  👍 "They're kicking ass!" his statement.  

That's it for now.  

Friday

 Ron was just asking now about sports what would be on the next few days.  I told him they have football tomorrow, and named the various teams.  He said he didn't know who to root for, the Bills or the Colts.  I said, "Root for the Colts, that's my secret pal's team".  😂

I slept in today after I dosed Ron (he is so good about taking his pills), slept until 8, that seems to be my wakeup time when I sleep in; and was even before I had to give Ron all these pills.  So I am getting a decent amount of rest.  

I did my God time it is funny how I am mixing low and high tech on that, but it works for me.  I need to back up my prayer list though right now it is just the single paper copy.  I need to type it up and save it various ways.  I would hate to lose it.  

After, I sat on the couch with my tablet because I had various cats in my desktop computer chair.  And I had a parade of 3 cats, Biscuit, Spotty, and Cleo all get on the couch with me and get in my lap (well, no lap for Cleo but almost).  I did some home care stuff, bath time and all for Ron.  

He said very nice things about me and my spirit for helping him, which I appreciated.  We agreed it is better to let others praise you but I did tell him I really liked hearing it.  Hopefully I AM that person.  

God's strength in my weakness and all that (2 Corinthians 12:9).  Biscuit used the litter box near me and boy did he pee, that made me very happy as he has that bladder condition.  The Iams food is really working well for him (Iams Urinary).  I tried to take a nap but couldn't sleep, got up, some more work on the computer.  

It has been a pretty quiet day.  Hopefully I sleep well tonight.  

Accident Day

 If you do a January 7 search you will find a LOT of rage and pain.  About 6:15 in the morning, 18 years ago,  Ron got run over by a reckless driver who was talking on a cell phone and admitted to running a red light.  He actually told one of our employees "I ran the light, I am so sorry".  

If ONLY "sorry" made everything better (facepalm).  

Well, Ron is pretty much immobile now.  Pain issues are better thank God.  But he is f#cked up but good.  I try not to swear in here.  But I am here, he has me if nothing else.  I would wish he had someone with a good brain, could drive, and made more money but this is what we have.  

I had a hard time getting up this morning and am only now (evening) about to do my devotionals and Bible study.  I think it could have helped some if I had read them earlier but I do what I can.  And I had a very hard time getting up.  

I am beginning to agree with Ron that I need a hair dryer, it was very cold this morning and wet hair in an icy breeze is not fun unless I am having a hot flash!  😂 I did notice I was able to get away with a light jacket. 

We went to Sam's and then work.  I stocked, things had been pretty slow PRAISE GOD they had canned Coke for a change.  The customers were fairly pleasant that was nice, everything was working, etc.  Not a bad day, and kept me busy.  I had a lot of stocking - and the nice thing the machines will be working day and night all weekend while I take care of Ron and the cats at home.  

I called Jack and we went to Little Cesars again, I had another gift card.  This time I got the pepperoni pizza and the lunch special, which was a small pizza and a bottled soda (diet).  I could have eaten half the special and been full but I didn't have room in the fridge.  And that is a good place to be when the fridge is full of good things to eat.  

I took my pills early, figured I could use them especially today, and took a nap.  I had a very nice nap with the 2 boy cats.  They were super cute and cuddly, and left me enough room to move around in bed.  They are good boys.  I had a good time talking to them and petting them when I got up.  

Ron has an itch issue I need to look at that.  If it were me I would probably just do the tea tree oil but Torbie does sleep with him so that's out.  Not to mention he would never agree to the smell.  Worst case I may need to run to Walmart tomorrow and get some spray.  We'll see.  He wanted to sleep and have me look at it later so it can't be too bad.  

I haven't got the belt yet they told me it would be coming later which is fine.  I don't need it "today".  Awww, a new horizon with Cleo, she put her front paws up on my leg as I sat in my chair, wanting pets.  Next thing you know she will be getting in my lap.  

She will walk on me in bed because it is safe but not when I am up.  That's OK she can take it at her pace.  She is still an awesome little cat.  Well, not so little these days.  Who else is feeding her?  I won't know for sure until God comes back.  

Speaking of that, a lot of really alarming and stupid talk online today.  We don't need to "take" anything "back".  God is on the throne, it doesn't matter who is in the White House.  Stupid talk just gets you on a watch list.  

And don't get me wrong I have a theory a domestic terror group was behind the Capitol Hill thing, but I'm not going to name it, because then "Heather was talking about terror groups on her blog".  See how easily that happens?  Nope, not me.  

I feel bad for Jack, he is a Democrat and thinks things will get better now, which I really doubt, but I don't say anything.  I am learning to keep my mouth shut pretty laterally across my life.  

That's it for now, I will go check the mail.  

Scruff belt (Wednesday)

 Supposed to rain today, sunny all day until just now.  And I SWORE to Jack it would rain tomorrow morning and we shouldn't do our supply run.  I called him and told him he was right!  He had a good laugh over that.  

About the protests in DC, I believe that is Antifa in Trump apparel.  Antifa has said they would dress up as Trump supporters to cause division, been saying that for a while now.  That, to me, is the logical scenario.  And that's all I will say because I really don't like to talk politics.  It just gets everyone angry.  It has been my experience that the person "talking" politics with me just wants to shout at, and browbeat, me, until I start agreeing with them so they can feel they "changed" my mind.  That's not a "discussion" that is verbal abuse.  

So I avoided all that on TV.  I haven't even turned on my television today.  It is pretty windy out there with the rain.  I put a bucket out in the backyard hoping the rain would wash it clean (lazy woman's housekeeping) and I am sure it will be sparkling.  

Ron is not as strong as he would like but I told him what he needs to do to build it back up.  And the "scruff" belt is coming.  Ron always used to ask me to "grab his scruff" when he was transferring and now I can.  I don't want to put my hand under his butt (obvious why, especially if he is naked and has just used the toilet chair), I can't grab his regular belt, we ripped a pair of pants like that.  This is a good solution let me put up a photo.  

It looks great, and only $12.  

I have high hopes.  And I think Ron is at the point where he will work to better his strength.  So, happy about that.  

He enjoyed working on that roast chicken today. I have pretty much got him off trash carbs (chips) and eating healthy proteins with a little bit of bread.  I had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with the soy nut butter.  Pretty good!  Better than I expected, to be honest.  

Just checked my text messages more sick bus drivers.  I am staying off the bus if at all possible.  I think a lot of low income people are getting the virus at a low to moderate level of symptoms.  And your average poor person (myself included) is not going to want to be tested if they don't have sick time to cover their quarantine period.  So they will just keep traveling, working, etc. because they don't really have a choice, and they are not going to get tested even if they are moderately ill.  And poor people ride the bus.  Unless we're talking the park and rides which only go to the affluent neighborhoods.  

So I have been avoiding the bus. 

I have been praying, not necessarily for "protection" because I believe God will provide that, but for him to "remind me OF His protection".  I think that is important.  He has got me this far, through some stuff that just - I was just recalling how awful Ron was to me for years.  God got me through that and Ron is a totally different person now.  But He gave me what I needed to get through that and I believe God blessed me because I did seek His will and not my own in the matter.  

That said, if I had worked for someone else, I would have left him. But financial dependence is something a lot of abusers do strive for and it is very common, not "letting" the woman have a credit card, having her take out loans and then defaulting on the payments, etc.  Ron "just" had me dependent on him for a paycheck and that is not a situation I will enter into lightly, again. I just automatically assumed he would respect me.  

But he does now.  It's been a hard road for me and God got me through all that - my own illness, Oh, that was hell probably worse than Ron.  But I am finally at a place where I am not dominated by my symptoms.   Yes, the housekeeping lags when I'm depressed, but overall I am taking care of me, Ron, and the business.  And the cats.  

I had a nice petting and cuddle time with Cleo.  Spotty and Biscuit took a nap with me.  Baby Girl begged for treats, Torbie posed as Baby Girl with Ron and got treats.  😂 Baby Girl is flabby enough Ron can't tell them apart.  That was pretty funny to see.  

And I have been praying for Ron to have a will to do some physical therapy because nagging will just put him off; God provided that. I feel better about that.  

I still worry about Ron's health, when I should probably worry about mine (as far as I know I am fine), better yet would be not worrying and just being smart for both of us.  

Biscuit still likes to go in the hole in the drywall it is pretty funny to see him lurking around in there.  It is safe.  And we will get Ron's room fixed up when our finances turn around.  Ron and I are not in a hurry.  

That's it for now. 

Tuesday morning

So, it was an interesting day.  I had $340 in one dollar bills, bills to pay, and I needed a grocery run.   

I checked the bank online.  Yesterday they said the branch was closed, but open today they said.  So I went.  I did my little transaction and walked away with $340 in $20 bills.  I went to my bank, and deposited $270 to cover the bills and a small cushion against overdrafts.  

Then I went to Walmart.  They don't have the XL Assurance bed pads anymore, just the medium.  The package is smaller, the pad is smaller, but 1/3 the previous price so I guess a good deal.  I will have to try them on Ron.  There was a sick woman on the lotion aisle and I have 2 different bottles of lotion at home so I exited quick...almost forgot the pads and got them in the #3 size which I have been using.  

I ride in other people's cars.  If my cycle is "about" due I am going to wear a pad just in case.  Which works as long as the pads are available, and they have been.  A good example this cycle was a week late, and I am riding around with Jack in his wife's car.  I am - that is NOT happening.  So I wear the pad.  

I suppose if I were really cheap I could wear one of the reusable pads.  I will consider that if I have supply chain issues.  

So I got that then I went to the craft section.  I have a lot of devotionals, etc. but not a lot of bookmarks.  So I bought some cute ribbon for $1 a spool and I can cut that and use as markers.  $2 later I have 2 nice rolls I will play with later.  

Paper goods - not much but they did have paper plates, the basic kind, in stock, I was happy about that.  I got my Land O Frost sliced turkey, I am crazy about that stuff.  I got Ron a roast chicken, he will  be happy about that.  I had enough to buy some cornbread so I did that I really love cornbread.  

And I can't find the cornbread.  Must be in the truck or left behind at the register.  God's way of telling me I don't need any more carbs.  I will ask Jack on Thursday but I'm not going to lose sleep over it.  Edit: I did call him, he is driving but will look under the backseat.  

I didn't buy any ice cream so proud about that.  

At the check out I ran into a "hoarder" who was buying numerous canned chicken items, way more than he needed.  He didn't even know if he liked it.  First rule is buy food you like.  One reason I only have Turkey Spam that's the one I like.  Then he went off on a "tin foil hat" rant at the register really sounding like he needed an antipsychotic.  And he paid with a card, so all that food is not trackable to him.  Not smart.  

I am on a few websites and they would say he did a lot wrong.  Worst of all he was bragging about all his supplies in front of strangers, at Walmart no less.  You just made yourself a target and odds are there is only 1 of you so good luck defending it.  

I went outside, called Jack, he came pretty quick.  Ron was awake when I got home so I said hi and washed my hands, then put everything away.  

Last night I finally got Ron out of bed long enough to change it.  He is saying he wants to do more for himself and I have been praying on that a while.  I was happy to hear it.  I took the washable pad off, and the fitted sheet.  Both had some food stains so I am washing the pad right now, and will do the sheet later.  Then I think a load of regular clothes.  

That's it for now.  

Monday

 Well I figured out the right volume # for my speakers, 10.  Loud enough for me but does not bother Ron or neighbors, one bedroom is only about 30-40 feet from my chair.  

I slept OK and got up, no headache, dosed Ron and stayed up at 5 AM.  Jack was picking me up at 8 so no point in going back to bed and then getting up again.  

I did my God time and got dressed (I did my shower last night).  My neighbors started making noise (#2) leaving for work type stuff so I felt OK taking out my trash and making a little noise doing that.  I have said again and again how I HATED #6 and their stupid, [censored] diaper every 3 hours they would take out the diaper and throw it in the trash can, making enough racket to wake me up every time.  Times 6 children.  It was very bad.  I guess the kids are part "mine" now because they kept me up as much as they did their parents.  Someone gave them a diaper genie on the last baby and they stopped waking me up.  Anyway, I will NOT be that person banging around the garbage can and waking up my neighbors.  Even when I have cat poop or other unmentionables in my trash bag, I will creep out there like a burglar and quietly sneak it into the can, then come back in the house quietly and slowly close the door.  

So they are happy with that, I'm sure.  Jack picked me up and off to work.  I chatted with the other vendor for a while, she had the repairman coming out for some of her machines, too.  Good money for him two jobs in an hour.  He told her he would deal with me first, and honestly I didn't expect it to take long.  

He arrived and began disassembly.  I felt better about my shaking hands (very bad this morning, it is from the lithium) when I saw all the work he had to put into the job.  He ended up taking the whole thing apart and using both a screwdriver and a set of pliers to get the coin out.  And it was another 50 cent piece.  I was pretty unhappy.  This is the second time in 6 months.  

I am choosing to believe it was done out of ignorance.  Many people don't have a lot of experience with vending machines and we have had a lot of new, temporary, workers.  That makes me feel a lot better than believing I have a saboteur.  One reason I did not bitch about the repair as well, if it is sabotage griping will just feed it.  

So that done, the machine is working, and it's empty.  So I filled it.  I also filled what I could on the bottled vendor.  Took a while.  Then I checked my phone.  The "good" bank was closed today but the one we used to use was open.  OK I will go there.  

Except they were closed too.  I was NOT happy.  

I thought about it on the way over, I had a Whataburger gift card and I have never been (long story on that).  I had gotten the card a year or two back so I figured now was a good time.  And I got a bbq chicken sandwich for Ron, a bbq bacon cheeseburger for me, and a malt.  We went home, Ron was awake, ate some of his sandwich and liked it.  I ate my burger and it was very good, but I hate mustard and who puts mustard on a bbq burger?  Whataburger, apparently, does that.  Next time I know to say no.  Baby Girl (aka Ron's cat) stole a piece of bacon out of my burger as I was eating, ran off, and ate it like a starving animal.  Funny she likes bacon so much.  She has also stolen it from Ron; and my research says a small amount of bacon rarely is fine for cats.  

I told Ron we will have to give her a slice for his birthday, and he loved the idea.  One thing I always liked about my birthdays was everyone sharing in the feast with me (so to speak).  Ron's birthday is coming up pretty soon so we can do that.  

So we had our meal, I took my pills (hello, hand tremor) and I took a nap.  I woke up with a moderate headache.  But I wanted to take an NSAID anyway.  

I started my cycle today, a week late, and I can have very heavy flows especially on day 2.  One thing I have found, a doctor recommended, was to take either Naproxen or Advil the first few days to slow the bleeding.  So I took Advil and that helped with both the headache and the other.  

Tomorrow I will try to find an open bank so I can turn my $1 bills into something larger.  Once I do that I need to go to my bank and make a deposit to cover my bills, do my grocery shopping, etc. I had hoped to get that all done TODAY but God works things for a reason, I could likely be avoiding a highly contagious person I would have encountered "normally". 

Ron is good he had a good appetite and took all his pills.  I explained what he is taking at night and he was OK with that: multivitamin, seizure pill, prostate pill, and another one I won't disclose.  

About the Whataburger.  There was one located near a bus stop we used frequently when we first came to Houston.  It had a public bathroom we used on occasion, but the bathroom was so filthy I think even homeless people avoided it.  I have no idea how they evaded the health department.  So I always associated those bright orange stripes with a Calcutta-style bathroom.  

Until today, the sandwiches were nicely different and I would go back.