Yesterday went pretty well, I had $210 for inventory after transportation. We went to the warehouse, Jack goes in with me now to help, look around. I spent most of it and got a good supply of inventory for a week. Came back to work, stocked it. Went home. Took care of Ron and the cats; did my God Time.
I did have an allergy attack (eyes) which I didn't think much of because I do get eye allergies now and then. But I absolutely DO NOT want eye drops even if I could get them for free. I would worry about them messing up my eyes.
So I went to bed pretty early (Ron had the pintos with ham for dinner and I had a peanut butter and jelly, I had a protein shake when I got home). I woke up about 10:40 (I know, some people hadn't even gone to bed yet!) with a horrible migraine. I took my excedrin and went back to sleep. Woke up later with severe eye allergies. I got one of my hankies (for just this) and wiped my eyes carefully and that helped, I put the hanky on my bedside table where it will stay. Went back to bed, an hour or two later it was gas and abdominal cramps. Really?!
I got up and took a Gas-X. Went back to bed for a while. I finally used the toilet and felt better, back to sleep. Only to hear Ron, oh, so, politely saying it was 5 AM and wasn't it time for his pills? [censored] I forgot to turn on my alarm. I got up, dosed him, back to bed.
Then he woke me up a couple hours later needing assistance (this was legit and I would absolutely get up for this every time) so I helped with that, by the time I finished I was well awake. I made some coffee (12 ounces regular, 6 ounces decaf).
I am hoping to get a good nap today but I feel OK with a good energy level. Ron is asleep. He asked for split peas with ham, rice, corn and I told him I would make it later. I have all the ingredients so I don't see a problem. And the beans are doing wonders for his regularity. And they're good protein with micronutrients.
I do have the day off, but only $6 in my pocket, I believe. So I won't be going out. I have the essentials I am not going to whine. Money comes, money goes, God is eternal. Ron knows I am staying. We will just have to be clever, which is one reason I am so happy he likes the split peas. I have cat food, we both have medication, Januaries are always terrible for us with sales.
Ron did say "The church" called to see how we were doing. It could be one of two churches. The downtown version of the church was great and I liked them a lot, but it was a very long ride on public transit and Ron's back wasn't really up for that. The other church called me a drug addict for taking my mental illness meds and also told Ron he was "Making" me depressed with his drinking, also said I couldn't have a blog and if I did I would have to be very vague about everything.
Don't get me wrong: I obey God. God says to forgive I do it. A good example, the other night I had a dream Ron's brother and him were barbequeing in heaven together. It was all very festive and jolly. I hope his brother does get to Heaven. And that's when I realized I forgave him even though he blamed me for the accident, slandered me (a lot!), and even kidnapped me one day. But I am past all that to the point where I can pray for him (brother) and mean it. I am very happy about that, but it wasn't a quick walk. I don't want to walk around carrying hate like my maternal grandmother.
God wants me to stay with Ron, so I do. That hasn't been easy at times as you well know. But I am glad I have, I want to please God I don't care about anything else. But everything in me says God wants me to 1. Share my struggles 2. Take my mental illness medication. 3. Have some supplies for bad times (pastor preached against people who do that on more than one occasion).
Also, I haven't heard from these guys in YEARS why now? (four and a half years) I very cynically told Ron maybe they have some Bibles they want distributed so they are calling me in like some sort of lineman. I don't know, but if you care why didn't you care years ago? Church members can read my Facebook it is open as far as I know. I don't complain there I don't believe in complaining.
And that is one thing I am begging for, from God, in all of this: don't let me be a whiner. I don't want to be that person; and I have been, in the past. But I want to be an overcomer and not a whiner. I don't even talk about "all" I do for Ron, I do a lot, God enables me, that's all you need to know. I will be coy, there. But it is freaking me out a bit I imagine it's like an ex calling you years later "to talk" 😕
Anyway I thought that was really odd. It is sad that a church can hurt a person who is striving to walk in God's will. I really didn't appreciate the finger pointing during the sermons while shouting about "drug addicts on mental illness medication". Not one bit, especially as it is so hard for most of the population to get up the nerve to start, and keep taking, the medication that keeps them alive. No one's going to go off on my brother for taking insulin....
It's sad.
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