"I was happier when you weren't around"

Well, I was having a pretty nice day.  Ron had been in his room all day, except for one trip to the bathroom.  While there, he "fixed" the toilet again.  He is obsessed with the toilet.  Yes, it acts up now and then (it flushes, but occasionally it is not a "good" flush).  I hailed him as the "Toilet master, who showed that toilet who's boss".  He liked that.

Then he came out and wanted to get in the kitchen.  He has a cabinet full of his stuff, including his liquor.  I was fixing my burritos.  They aren't great, to quote my Dad, "Adequate", but they are filling and my pills like them.  I finished and left.

Ron immediately went to the liquor and started drinking.  He accused me, again, of doing something to his liquor because he was missing a bottle.  [I haven't, because, 1.  I don't play games and 2.  Al-Anon specifically said not to do that.}  I told him I had no idea but he had a lot of empties (these are the 1.75 liter bottles of vodka).  I suggested maybe he was "drunk drinking" (drinking during a blackout) as he has done in the past.  He accepted that and said he would have to get more liquor.  He likes to wait until he is nearly out, cause a crisis, and then have someone make an emergency run.

He then embarked on a steady stream of vicious verbal abuse.  I remember thinking, and I even said "You had better watch what you're saying or I'm going to wish you stayed in your room".  He just kept going, dumping a steady stream of poison.  It was awful.  It was toxic.  And I couldn't help but think "I was so much happier when you weren't around."  That's a really sad place to be.  He kept going through my dinner and while I did up my pills.  He had some spiritual abuse in there, too.  Attacking my faith in God.  Attacking God, I am used to, but my faith is off limits.  I did what I did growing up: don't react, it just feeds them.  I just kept portioning out supplements, Depakote, Lithium, Haldol, and Wellbutrin into my pill organizers.  At one point when he had calmed down he asked me what I was doing - probably going to attack me for "watching TV".  But I told him I was doing my pills.  I said I had to be careful not to mix the Haldol and the Wellbutrin because they look very similar.  They are both small, round, orange, tablets.  At least the generics here in America.  He asked what would happen if I flipped them, I told him I would most likely be very tired, and depressed.  He made a rude crack about "nothing different, then".

I was really sorry he had woken up.  He just came up there to get drunk and crap all over me, and my faith.  It was AWFUL.  I really regretted ever knowing him, and that's an awful thing to say about the person you married.   He is just turning to a plain awful person.  How many times I have I used the word "awful" in this post?  It's not enough.

There's just no excuse to act like that.  I mentioned to him I had a complaint he was surly at work, and he went off on me and the customers in general.  It was just unreasonable.

Alcohol is turning him into a terrible person.  I remember how we were back then: 

Happy.  And then I look at him now.  And this photo was taken several months after the accident.