Ron has this game he plays when he plans to get very drunk: he will come to me and give me this long, almost-sobbing, declaration of his "love", tell me to ignore everything he says and does in the future, while very drunk, and basically says "I can't help myself but I want you do forget all the things I say and do when I'm drunk".
My alarm bells start going off whenever that happens. And, sure enough, every time, he has a blackout and gets very ugly. He is rude, selfish, immature, and abusive. And he thinks it is "OK" because he says "sorry" before he does it.
It's not OK on any level.
So why I am I up at, now, 3 AM? I went to bed around 9. Ron woke me up around 1.
He had fallen out of his wheelchair and gotten his head stuck underneath it. I had to pull him out, he was pretty agitated. If I hadn't been able to get him out I would have had to call the non-emergency line for the police and had them send someone out.
That would have been awkward. If I'd had to do it, I would have asked them to take Ron off somewhere to sober up. No sense subjecting myself to more abuse.
He pulled out the drawer from the oven, I thought he broke it at first. I was able to put it back later. He shoved my chair around, yelling about it being a wall. He lost his wheelchair and blamed me for it.
He shouted at me to put "the kitchen in the kitchen" and "The wall in the wall" and then shouted at me for failing to understand his meaning.
He couldn't get on the toilet seat, and threatened to defecate on the floor. You get the idea (he hasn't, so far).
I'm just done.
I will be talking to him when he sobers up. I will tell him, I will get the business through the busy season and then I am looking for another job so I can move out. If he wants, I can train a replacement.
But living with him just isn't worth it. I am tired of the drinking. Tired of the dramas. Tired of the verbal abuse. Just tired.
I will take at least Biscuit and Torbie with me. Baby Girl has always been Ron's and I think she would miss him.
But for now, I'm done.
Ron just threw my scale in the tub and got upset that the shower curtain was "in his room". Then he wanted me to move the toilet because "It belonged in the bathroom". I had to loudly shout that he was in the bathroom.
I told him to go to bed. He told me to go to hell (so to speak). I hope he will shut up pretty soon so I can get some sleep.
8 comments:
You don't have to sit there and take all that abuse.
Maybe you leaving will change things but probably not.
Be strong. The devil is roaring seeking whomever he can devour.
My family is under attack too.
Please do not leave baby girl with him. She would be neglected and god knows what would happen to her. Though she is Ron's he is not a fit caregiver for her or any animals for that matter. I am glad you have finally decided to take this step and wish you the best with getting out of a bad situation. Is there a way to get him put in a nursing home and then at least you can stay in the house? There is no way he can live by himself. There must be something you can do within the legal system to save him from himself and yourself at the same time. I blame his friend Chuck for this just as much as Ron since he helps Ron get the booze.
"The devil is roaring seeking whomever he can devour." This has nothing to do with the devil as the devil does not exist. Only selfish people doing selfish and destructive things. Please don't ascribe bad human behavior to something that is NOT real.
I really have to agree with Anonymous Numbers 1 and 2. Please, Heather, don't cave on this. He will be all sorry, and promise never to do it again, but he will, and you likely know that. And, you really do need to take Baby Girl with you. He cannot care for himself, let alone her. Know that I pray for you every day. You have inspired me to put out tracts more often. People need to know Jesus!!!
I agree with the others. I have been following your blog for some time and God only knows how you were able to put up with this insanity for this long. You also need to take all of the cats. Ron can not even take care of himself and Lord only knows how Baby Girl would be treated. My prayers are with you and I must say you have the patience of Job, but enough is enough!! Ron is an abuser and you need to flee from this toxic relationship.
I agree with the others. I have been following your blog for some time and God only knows how you were able to put up with this insanity for this long. You also need to take all of the cats. Ron can not even take care of himself and Lord only knows how Baby Girl would be treated. My prayers are with you and I must say you have the patience of Job, but enough is enough!! Ron is an abuser and you need to flee from this toxic relationship.
I'm so glad you have made this decision. This has been a long time coming, and you really deserve so much better than the way Ron is treating you.
Have you tried calling a crisis line to see what is available locally like is there a YWCA DV center? OOOOXXXXX I had to leave. But it took 3 times good luck ..there is nothing more empowering than freedom from guilt of someone else's behavior
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