No blanket for you!

It wasn't all bad. 

I told Ron we had to work today.  I had horrifying visions of empty vending machines. 

When I got up, I did my God Time, and took a shower with some new soap.  First, I used the antibacterial soap on my cyst areas, then the nice stuff overtop, and everywhere else.  It was lovely, a lavender/citrus blend. 

I got the supplies I needed and did 90% of what I needed.  I didn't do everything, but considering the time I had, and Ron's need for assistance, I am satisfied.  The machines looked a LOT better when I left. 

Not only that, I bought a Leslie Sansone DVD.  It has an assortment of 10 minute workouts I can mix and match, or just do one.  I can do 10 minutes; and I need to ease back into the habit of working out. 

I'm very happy about that, from what I saw on the DVD earlier, it's something I can do.  I have terrible coordination and very poor motor skills.  The usual "exercise tape" has me gaping at the screen and flailing helplessly.   This is doable. 

I'm very happy I'm taking care of myself like this.  I did not mention it to Ron because it will just lead to tirades about my weight.  I have to realize, these days, he is not my "best friend". 

If I like this, I plan to buy the assortment DVD, various length walks.  I can get up a little earlier, do the workout, shower, God Time, breakfast.  Leslie has dozens of DVD's. 

When I was "ill" - which was up until pretty much last year, where I feel I really got a handle on my moods, working out was synonymous with 2 hour manic exercise binges.  Even if I had the energy (Ha!), I'm not interested in that.  I want to burn calories, strengthen my cardiovascular system, and build muscle. 

I doubt, even with strict exercise and calorie restriction, I could ever become "the perfect 10".  I'm not aiming for that.  I would like to get out of the plus size department, into Misses.  I would like to get healthier.  I would like to get rid of some fat.  I would like to get healthier.  These goals, I think I can attain. 

You, of course, have been huge in helping me keep it together.  God gets first credit.  Then my real life people (mainly my aunt, who is local and helped me "bug out" on a couple of occasions), and you. 

See, knowing I have you helps me keep it together.  I want you, corny as it sounds, to be proud of me.  I want you to be inspired.   I want you rooting for me. 

Sometimes I even compose in my head when I'm out somewhere.  It helps me put things in perspective.  It does change my actions; knowing I'll be telling you. 

Did I kick Ron as he lay on the floor cursing me?  God knows he wouldn't remember.  No. 

Did I cover him with a blanket, which later (head in hands) had to be washed?  Yes.  Alanon was real big on the whole blanket thing.  "Oh, the poor thing, lying on the floor.  Leave him on the floor but cover him with a blanket."  He ruins the blanket!  Every time! 

Sorry, Ron, no blanket for you!