Sunday, January 12, 2014

The second thing

I've finally gotten up from my migraine (last night).  I felt pretty crappy but not horribly so, which I'd had earlier. 

I decided to watch a little TV.  Green Lantern.  I like superhero movies.  It was decent but "The Immortals" looked tremendously fake. 

I made some pasta and took my pills, experiencing a horrid lock-down.  The lock-down, I don't know how else to phrase it, made everything in my head tighten up and knocked my migraine up to "tears running down my face" level. 

Ron was trying to be sympathetic.  "When did it get worse?" I told him  "Maybe you can stop taking that for a while, if ..." 

I blew up (losing my temper during a migraine - horrific).  "Don't you ever, ever suggest I go off my pills!  I will LEAVE you!"  I gagged with pain and doubled over.  Ron told me to calm down but I was pretty ticked.   He ran off to his room. 

A choice, for me, to go off my pills is a choice to commit suicide.  I will end my life, one way or another.  I cannot play doses with my medication.  I have to take it, every day, as directed, or I'll end up one of those unmedicated idiots getting shot by the police.  Or I'll kill Ron.  Or, I'll kill myself. 

It won't end well.  I made it clear to Ron, I cannot even countenance the thought of going off my meds. 

Ever. 

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