Graphic post I warned you

 I have always had trouble with my elimination being, ah, slow.  

Very rarely I would have a 911 emergency attack and need to seek a bathroom.  Ron was incredibly hateful about that.  

I also had a lot of unexplainable abdominal pain I believe was a conversion disorder - my mental illness manifesting tangible physical symptoms.  That all went away with medication.

As Ron declined he developed IBS to the point he required a diaper.  I was always kind to him even though once or twice I wanted to dish back a few things he had said to me.  I did not.

When I started on the lithium doc said I would have diarrhea but I never did unless I had food poisoning.  It was the same old usual.  

On a good day, I take care of business before I leave the house in the morning.  I had been backed up the last couple days not eating much so I was happy to deal with that before I left.  

I take 3 buses to work.  On the second bus I realized I needed to go again, with some urgency, but my routes all go through blighted areas frequented by the homeless.  

Today I have a purple backpack and my blue flowered evangelism bag.  2 bags.  And my stick.  I realized, to my horror, NO ONES GOING TO LET ME USE THE BATHROOM.  As far as they know I am another gacked out homeless going to ruin the bathroom.  

So I held it all the way to work.  It was a struggle but I made it.  I was so happy to see that toilet.  

Why am I having this today I couldn't say.  But it was a hell of a start