Saturday and a lot about my past
I didn't sleep well last night, #6 decided to have "family play night in the yard" for an hour AFTER I went to bed. One of the kids kept screaming "Papi! Papi!" for about 5 minutes straight - I think if you have too many kids (they have 6) you can't give them each the proper attention. Instead, like the Duggars, you end up forcing the older children into parenthood roles they're not equipped to handle.
Anyway, they finally wrapped it up and I went to sleep. I had problems with their security light shining in my room again (I need to have my handyman hang some blackout curtains). I decided to make it into a game.
Lights go on: It's a dragon in their backyard. Lights go on again: Giant sandworm from Dune. Etc. I have fun inventing new monsters everytime the light comes on. Last night it was a giant octopus, slithering across their yard.
I've been meaning to tell you about this, but I kept forgetting.
I woke up and reset the alarm so I got another hour of sleep, but I had a nightmare. I have talked about this before. Feel free to scroll.
When I was 15, I engaged in some manic behavior that got me into trouble. I was an office assistant at the school and I used to water the plants, make coffee, stuff like that. They had a coffee fund and put money into it, it was a big jar they kept by the coffee pot. Well, I got into the jar one day and got caught.
It was a huge scandal. The entire office staff felt (rightly) totally betrayed and I was subject to a disciplinary meeting. They didn't know where to put me for a long time, because I was mentally ill, but functional. However, my "antisocial" behavior put me over the top and they decided to put me in The Program.
The Program was a special program for emotionally disturbed students with behavior issues, considered too volatile to put into mainstream classes. In that, they were right. Most of the students were hard core, defiant, angry, depressed, kids who didn't fit in.
Unlike "The Breakfast Club" we did not all meet on a platform of understanding. A lot of the kids fought with each other.
I was taken out of all my "regular" classes and put into "program" classes, which were self study courses with workbooks and textbooks. As it turns out, I learn best that way. I began pulling straight A's. However, the program was very restrictive and we were forced into mandatory therapy, etc. At one point, the therapist tried to tell me I had multiple personality disorder. Needless to say, it wasn't a good fit.
I felt so imprisoned, there. I couldn't even take a break with my friends, I could only take one with those kids. They all smoked and wanted to be rule-breakers. I did not.
I only wanted to be a rule breaker when I was manic, which, at that point, wasn't that often. But, for whatever reason, God had blinders on them and they couldn't see I was bipolar.
They refused to let me graduate on time, even though I had excelled academically and gotten a job on my own. I was the first person in the "special kids, special jobs" program to actually be hired.
They wouldn't let me graduate. I was devastated and fell into a horrible depression. As you know, Ron helped with that. When I got back to school in September (how humiliating to go back for another senior year), I found out why The Program had failed to let me graduate.
They wanted a new computer. Back then, computers were rare and very expensive. Rather than have the kids use the computer lab at the school, they wanted their own computer.
And what better way to get a computer than to say Heather needed one for her terrible vision problems? They had me sign something.
They only wanted me for the computer. If I hadn't already been planning to move out, I sure would have started.
As it is, I moved in with Ron shortly after the start of the new school year. They didn't get their computer, because their "visually impaired" student was gone.
The head of the program actually tracked me down at work, and I confronted her, told her to leave me alone, I was living my own life now. She got upset, but my boss told her to leave. He didn't want anyone messing with his employees. I might have been hers, but I was his now (implied). Oh, I could have kissed that man.
I did get my GED some years later. I scored very well on the testing. I took some college and averaged 3.2 in my accounting courses.
So, last night I had a nightmare I was back at The Program. In the dream, though, I realized I had already gotten my GED and told them they couldn't hold me anymore. But I still had that hopeless, trapped, feeling.
What a morning. I got ready and we left. We went to Sam's Club and got our inventory. Jack picked us up and took us to work.
We got the truck unloaded. No one filmed us this time.
I went in and discovered Snack #2 had a burned out lightbulb. I examined it and removed it. We were going to Walmart later, I had hopes maybe they had the bulb.
I helped Ron and did my work, but honestly, there wasn't much to do.
We left. Our driver was already waiting for us. He had a slow client who kept talking about food. Does no one feed these people?
When we turned onto the street, we found a strange SUV parked in front of our driveway. There was space 1. In front of my house, in a legal parking area and 2. Across the street, 3 spaces, also legal. Apparently that wouldn't do, it had to be "blocking the driveway".
#2 was having one of his yardsales. I think she was a "browser". #6 had yard guys with sod and paver bricks running around in his yard. They were playing loud polka music. #6 was of course gone.
We had to let Ron out in front of #2's driveway and push him up the sidewalk to our driveway, then turn up the driveway and go into the house. Very inconvenient.
I had Ron call the police. They were happy to come out. When I looked in front of the house again, she was gone. I had Ron call them back. "Oh, the officer already came out". OK.
I laid down for my nap, which didn't work because of the laborers and the polka music. I tried, though. I had Biscuit with me for a little bit.
I got up, resigned. At least no one was blocking my driveway, I didn't have nightmares, and I didn't have to deal with the stupid security light flashing in my bedroom. I did my God Time.
We went to Walmart. It was the first of the month, a Saturday afternoon, and hell. I didn't find the lightbulb. I looked. I saw some poor autistic guy having a meltdown. Really bad thinking, that, to bring a severely autistic guy to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon.
I paid and left. I found Ron and we waited, but not for long. Our driver was pretty punctual.
She took one look at my bag (sporting a gallon of organic milk) and said she wasn't touching it. I told her all she had to do was deal with the wheelchair.
We came home. The laborers were finally gone from #6, the yard sale was done at #2, and we still had space in front of our driveway.
I unloaded and put everything away. I watched a little TV and called my Dad. They are doing well.
I watched a little more TV. Now I'm getting ready to go to bed.