The most important thing I did today...

I'm going to share what I think is the most important thing I did today, then I'll backtrack and tell you about the day itself. I got up at 5-something this morning, and I had been going all day. No nap today!

In the very late afternoon, Ron went outside to wait for a cab that was supposed to take him to Starbucks (he later changed his mind). The "little boy" next door, maybe 7 or so, yelled a greeting. I said hello. Ron didn't hear the boy and kind of turned his head to me, so I told him. I then told the boy, "My husband is blind".

"I know" he said, "My cousin told me". I didn't think much of it at the time, but then it started to fester. Who was this cousin? How did he know about us, and what was he doing telling our personal information to this child? The nerve! [note to reader: let's thank God his mother doesn't read this.] Things were definitely taking a familiar path and I stopped myself.

The most important thing: I assesed my mood. I am feeling persecuted and paranoid. I'm feeling outraged. I'm doing a lot of feeling; this is my illness talking. I'd been up for about 12 hours straight. I'd been running around a lot. I was tired, probably hungry, and I most likely needed a nap.

"No, I don't" I thought. I feel fine! It's not me! It's THEM! They're out to get me again! I have to stop this!" OH, no, I don't.

I told myself. "I'm going to take a nap. If I lie awake for a long time I'll get up. All I'm going to do is lie down for a while. Before I do that, I'm going to have a high-protein snack and a cold diet decaf soda. That won't hurt, and if I am 'sick' it can only help."

I lay down, fell asleep, and had a totally normal dream about alpaca farms. When I woke up 2 hours later, I felt like my regular self. No paranoia, no one is out to get me, and what the hell does it matter if someone knows Ron's blind?

I hate having this illness, but I'm proud of how I manage it. I'm very proud of myself for how I handled things today. I have a lousy self-esteem, so me saying that is monumental.

This morning we got up at 5-something. We went to Walmart. I was desperately hoping for at least one 12-pack of my beloved Cherry Cola Diet Rite. I adore the stuff. It's traumatic for me when I open my last 12-pack, but Dr Pepper was out of it! No one had it! Happily, Walmart had not one, but three cases! YEE-HA! I flung them in the cart and continued down my list (all told, I only spent 30-some dollars). Ron, very lovingly, bought me not one but 2 kinds of Pepto. He is a very kind and wonderful man. I'm glad he decided to share his life with me. I got us some frozen dinners, various other things we needed, and then we went home.

We got home, and I put away the groceries. Then, work. I did an inventory, assisted Ron, and called in our food order for delivery Monday. A validator isn't working, so I got Ron the can of air and read the error messages (the machine has a chart, a steady light is good, flashing lights are bad, depending on how often they flash) and commisserated when he called Dr Pepper.

How funny is that? We get my Diet Rite Cherry Cola money back when they do the repair. Funny!

[getting queasy, need to eat]

OK, I'm working on a lovely snack of mixed canned vegetables. After work, we went to Taco Bell! It wasn't a straight trip but it wasn't bad. I was glad I'd eaten a snack at work because it was a rather bouncy ride.

After Taco Bell (which didn't settle as well as I'd hoped, and necessitated the use of 2 chewable Peptos), we went to Krogers. Ron wanted to get something nearby, and I got some low-carb pasta. Guess what? Krogers had a sale on Cherry Cola Diet Rite. So I got 3 more cases - this is why I find the "free" validator repair so amusing. [already feeling better from the snack]. I also got some Potato Sticks (I got carb-blockers at Walmart), a tasty snack anytime.

Our ride home was looking so grim (about an hour late with rain pending) we called a "Real" cab to get home. Not only did the driver get a nice tip, he got a can of soda! We have a whole stash in the fridge just for giving away. The cab made it to Krogers in just a couple minutes. Yay!

Then we get into the whole "Best thing I did today" incident. It's sad in a way, just a couple of "regular" errands can wear me out so much I get "sick", but then God's given me the kind of life where I don't have to run around much.

Oh, and good news on the flood insurance. We're using our agent, she found us some house and contents ($1,000 contents, because my yarn can't swim!), for a very reasonable price. Yay! I really wanted to use her anyway, it just seems smarter to have one person doing all the insurance. But she understood when I told her, "I hope we never need you".