Sunday, September 30, 2007

I left him

Tonight my husband became physically abusive. The saddest thing wasn't that he shoved me, hit me, and verbally abused me. It wasn't when he bit me repeatedly, or when I was hitting him with a shoe, trying to make him stop.

It was when he hit me in the face. Then I said "That's it!", smacked him over the head a few more times to get him to stop (the bed is broken now from his tackle and the subsequent grappling), grabbed my cell phone, and left.

I told him I was calling the police (I didn't - I can always call them later). He stopped. I got a few things together (including my medication) and waited outside while I called my aunt and uncle.

I got paid recently. I still have most of my money. I have my pills, and good old Puppy, the stuffed dog. No cats, and I'm worried about them. They're tough, and Ron wouldn't dare hurt them, but I still worry.

Part of why I'm glad I'm away from him is the overwhelming homicidal urge to beat him over the head with one of his liquor bottles. He's not worth a felony or a misdemeanor (I feel my actions tonight were purely self-defense).

How did it start? He went into my room, thinking it was the bathroom. He tripped over something and urinated all over himself and the floor. He began throwing things around and broke a lamp. I told him to stop. Cursing, verbal abuse, shoving, more cursing, hitting, etc.

I am so sick of him right now. So angry and disgusted. What makes me really angry? When I was leaving in the car with my aunt and uncle, he said "Tell Heather I love her". Then he left 11 extremely abusive, hateful, ugly messages on my cell phone.

I'm guessing 11 negatives outweigh one possible positive. He's going to get help before I come back, that's for sure.

He's already said I'm fired. He's throwing all my stuff out (see you in court!), I'm easily replacable, I'm a crazy sick burden, and he's better off without me. He can't wait to have me out of his life.

Oh, and he needs me at work tomorrow.

Say WHAT?

I already called a friend and told him I wouldn't be in and why "Ron hit me in the face." So, if you're a believer, and even if you aren't, send up a prayer that God show me His will.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

I really wish you had left him then.

Still urinating even 13 years later

Heather Knits said...

If I had known I would have done a lot of things differently.

I didn't have any support to leave Ron.
It was seen by many as not a big deal that he hit me.
No outrage, no defenders, just get off my lawn.

I understand people have their own problems but if I came to me these days I would do what I could to support her moving out and on with her life. As many have said, Ron broke his vows when he raised his fist.