It's been pretty quiet. Quiet is good. Ron lost his cell phone and doesn't want to get in the wheelchair so I can find it. I assume he will, at some point.
He has not wanted anything to eat, either. I am cooking so he can have some of that or something out of the freezer (heated up!) if he wants.
Cleo is becoming a little treat monster she, 90% of the time, is happy to accept pets and will purr. Sometimes she doesn't and that is fine I never want to force my cats into anything.
I sat out in the driveway for an hour, that was good. I looked at the local head shop, they have a website. Dry herb vaporizers are not cheap. I think I will stick with the smokes. But I still have plenty let me count: 4 of the good ones, 1 grape (not very good and doesn't burn well, I give it 2 stars), one menthol. So I don't need any right now as I only smoke 1 a day, if that, and maybe 2 if I have a bad migraine.
I came in and decided to get the last cheese stick before I took a nap. Cheese sticks are on the list. And I couldn't get the drawer open that had the cheese it was stuck. I had to take the shelf apart to get it. I fixed it and it won't happen again but frustrating as I didn't want to hurt the fridge. But I wanted my cheese.
Tomorrow we go to Sam's and I plan to get some of the pink disinfectant if I can, a bag of rice (I will eat it), and maybe some cheese sticks. Ron is sleeping with Baby Girl petting her and talking. It's cute.
He will be happy to hear the state library (talking books) is open on a limited basis. But first we need to find his cell phone.
The weather has been really lovely, around 80, nice breeze, sunny. People pay good money for that on their vacation. But Houston you never know what you'll get. One year only my parents came out in the summer and ever since it has been spring or fall (one year, both!).
I was sitting in my chair a little bored thinking how my parents only want the one call on the weekend. Unless I have an emergency. They were pretty clear on it "Don't call us just to talk, except on Saturday" I believe the exact words or certainly the intent.
WELL. Most parents want to hear more from their kids. My aunt is happy to hear from me and will send me to voicemail if she can't. She has very good boundaries.
I don't recall ever being a pest or bothering them when I was angry at Ron (poor aunt got plenty of that before diagnosis and treatment), calling a lot when I was manic or anything but they have been pretty clear.
And the sad thing they say I am the only one who calls. But it is their loss and maybe better for me this way.
I found Ron's phone and told him the talking book library is open on a limited basis so he can call. He was really happy to hear that.
I believe his exact statement was "Halle-f*cking-luja"
Well.
10 comments:
I dare you to call them during the week. And then ask them why they only want you to call at a specific day and time and never to just talk. Instead of just wondering why
Well, based on some years of observation I would say I'm just not that important. And if I ask they will deny saying that.
She is a master at gaslighting.
What kind of childish/cruel suggestion is daring someone to start shit with their family. Heather please know it isnt your fault they are this rigidly living their lives. I would toss this one to the universe, it took me a lifetime to let go of the same feelings and give my own self the love and kindness I truly deserve. I wish the same for you but sooner vs later.
To the comment I didn't post YES 1000% not diagnosed but I am certain. It is the only way I can reconcile his behavior with him also being someone who loves me.
My daughter only calls when she wants something from me. She will text me, maybe once a week if I'm lucky.
It is what it is. The relationship I tried so hard to build is not to be, I guess.
That's the thing, you can have "good' kids (on my medication, never ask for anything - Dad offered the money for the re pipe, pay back loan early every month, call regularly) and indifferent parents or vice versa.
I see all these "I miss my Mom so much" posts on Facebook and I really never had a mother so I don't process. My aunt is probably the closest thing I have to a mother, which is why I left everything to her in my will. That's going to be hard for me when she dies but my birth mother was hardly a blip.
That makes me incredibly sad that you can only call your parents once a week. It might be petty, but I'd stop calling them on Saturdays for a while and wait for them to call ME.
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I tried that, they got very upset and basically said they wanted calls but only 1x a week. "Unless something happens, we don't want to see it on FB". So I did call when Ron had the seizure but that is about it.
They are missing out but it is their choice. I am a lot closer to my aunt who is happy to talk.
This is EXACTLY why when things calm down you should go see a therapist again . It has all changed and now it is trauma driven and you do not have to relive your entire past to resolve issues like you have with your folks . You are smart have tons of insight into your own issues and with the right therapist you could do wonders and have fun with it . I had a thought time admitting I would benefit and committing to it but loved doing therapy. I do not spiral into those painful cycles of thinking anymore especially when it comes to my family issues. That is just me and my suggestions however
Maybe the social worker can make a referral (shrug).
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