It's never a good moment when you come home and your front door is wide open.
Torbie was fine at the vet, they cleaned her wound, gave her antibiotics, gave me cleanser and ointment to put on her wound, and syringes full of pain medication. I don't know why vet staff always ask me if I want pain medication. Do I look like the sort of person who would deny my cat painkillers? It was included in my bill, anyway.
I had a bit of a wait while they treated her and a longer wait on Arturo, while waiting on him I figured out the Pet Uber so I can do that next time for about half the cost.
We arrived home and 1. Someone had put their trash in front of my house, a big box of crap NOT happy about that. and 2. The front door was wide open.
I ran inside, saw TV and computer still there, Ron was in the kitchen. He was happy to see me but seemed exhausted and wanted to go back to bed. He said he wanted to go out for some "fresh air" (in his underwear) but didn't factor in getting back in the house, had extreme difficulty. It sounds as if he wandered around out front for a while until he got in.
"I would have called for help" he said "If I had my cell phone." That's when I asked if he wanted a Life Alert, he was very insulted. I asked if maybe we needed a helper for him when I left him alone, he was even more insulted.
I keep thinking, ALL my neighbors, #2 to one side, #7 in front of me, #6 on the other side were all home and must have seen him struggling, and NONE OF THEM OFFERED TO HELP. The front door was wide open and no one came by to check on us.
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OH makes me mad. Well at least I know not to bother helping THEM either. Ron... I don't know what to do. I will have to pray on it.
But clearly a man in his underwear in his wheelchair (nothing they have seen before, either) struggling to get into his home is just another day.
If I have to start hiring help or sign up with someone to get it, I will, but I am not crazy about strangers in my home. If that's what it takes that's what it takes, though. For now I am willing to see this as a one time deal
I at least thought the other neighbors were OK, or, if something like this happened, would at least call someone to check on him. But no, they probably made a video and are laughing about it.
I mean, someone was close enough to my house to drop a HUGE box of trash in front of my house, with a direct line of sight to the front door...they saw Ron. They just didn't care.
So know I know what I have in my toolbelt: neighbors who don't care. I am just glad Ron wasn't injured and our home not robbed.
46 comments:
You realize it is possible they didn’t see him right? Quite possibly busy with their own issues inside their own homes not looking out their windows worrying about you.
or maybe they steer clear of you guys because you are so mean lol
Why should they help a drunken fool into his house? Besides you don't even know if anyone saw him outside. You should be more angry that your husband decided to go outside and left the front door wide open. But instead you choose to berate your neighbors about it.
1. He was sober
2. They sent the kids outside to play right after I got back so were watching. I might have believed they didn't know but Ron would have made a lot of noise and they are right next to the driveway, and the fact the kids went out to play right after I got home meant they saw me arrive.
Sure, mom doesn't speak English, but they have spanish dispatchers at the local police station or even 911, if she didn't feel comfortable sending the oldest boy (old enough to drive) over to ask if Ron needed help.
I'm not angry at Ron, he wanted fresh air. I think he left the door open after he got in the house, forgot to shut it. I am just happy Ron is OK and can avoid an emergency room today.
I wouldn’t send my kid over to touch anyone with the virus right now. Are you nuts?
Her letting the kids out does not mean she saw him but nice try. You are truly awful
He was in a wheelchair all he needed was a push in the door. NO contact involved. Of course you would have to be a decent human being with a shred of compassion to do that.
And how hard is it to pick up the phone? They would have been right out to help him. Thank God the weather was nice and he could get in the door.
Really he wanted fresh air so he does this often? I doubt it and I doubt he hadn't been drinking.
Again, THEY MOST LIKELY DID NOT EVEN SEE HIM yet you want to place all the blame on them. Why do you have such a hate filled heart?
I’ll bet his wheelchair is TEEMING with viruses and bacteria.
I have a hard time believing a man that was supposedly sober decided to go outside in his underwear. More than likely he had been drinking or his dementia is getting worse.
I handle the wheelchair constantly and haven't had any issues.
He has never done this before. He was dead sober when I got home, utterly exhausted. Whatever he had to do to get in the house wore him out.
On the plus side if the place catches on fire when I'm gone I know for sure he can get out.
They must have seen him he would have made a lot of noise probably calling for help, their house is 15 feet away, if that, 2 bedrooms kitchen and front room all face our driveway. They would have known. 7 people home not counting the daycare kids, they knew. Why is it hate to say this?
Saying I hope they get sick or their house burns down is hate, and I am not saying that. Saying I hope they get a neighbor like themselves, on the other side, isn't nice but is not hateful. Feeling smug because #8 is always taking their street parking isn't nice but that's as evil as I go.
They are teaching the kids not to care. I remember several occasions my Dad had a gift for finding people with dementia wandering around. He always took them back home or called for help. He taught me you don't walk past someone like that.
Teaching them to ignore Ron when he needed help teaches the kids to ignore the parents when they need help. And you never know when a stroke will hit.
You dad left you as a baby with a drunk and bipolar mother so I honestly don't understand your point about him helping strangers.
My Dad was in very deep denial until CPS got involved. Up to that point he didn't really believe it was that bad.
But, as someone pointed out, why didn't he hire a nanny? I don't know.
And some are just better at helping strangers.
Remember last week when you were on paratransit and they left a confused lady trying to open a locked door?
Remember how you noticed and mentioned it to the driver but you did nothing to get her help even knowing that the driver was not going to report it?
Remember?
You are making so many assumptions about the neighbor AGAIN. You were not there! How the he’ll do you know with absolute certainty that they knew Ron’s drunk ass was outside (he’s never sober) ?? answer: you don’t. If they have all those kids I’m sure they were busy inside with them. You are the most judge mental person I’ve ever come across. Someone should mail them a link to your blog.
If they read it, assuming they have English comprehension skills, they would just avoid us which would be my end goal anyway.
RE: the old lady that was longer ago, I think. I will think twice if it happens again.
RE: the old lady that was longer ago, I think. I will think twice if it happens again.
What was your reason for not speaking up or calling it in?
Totally honest - even when it makes me look bad. I was honestly thinking how long we had ridden around already and how long it takes dispatch to figure out what to do with a client like that, how long it took to load and unload her already, how we had a limited time at work. I figured if I raised a stink they would take another half hour dealing with it and that is time we couldn't work, time Ron would be stuck in the wheelchair. I didn't want the delay and that's the truth.
Had he been able to phone it in as he drove off with us I would have demanded it, but in a case like that they ALWAYS make the driver wait while they try to dial the location, find someone in charge to tell them when they are going to open, etc. "Give it another 10 minutes" then tell him to load her up again and take her home, which would be another 20-30 minutes on top of the 10 we already waited and the 5-10 it took to get ahold of dispatch.
But now, all the adult day cares (slow and senior, and both) are closed so none of those trips anymore, it is just essential errands and medical.
But yes, I am an awful human being.
So, you DEFINITELY noticed an old lady struggling and did nothing to help because it would have been mildly inconvenient? Some of your neighbors MAY have noticed Ron struggling. If they DID notice they probably didn't help because they didn't want to be exposed to COVID-19, OR, perhaps they had already been exposed, and didn't want to put Ron at risk. They didn't call 911 because they probably didn't want to burden a healthcare system that is under siege with an old man in his underwear who wasn't in any real trouble, and who, by your own admission, would be at FAR greater risk in hospital than out. Yet ALL NEIGHBORS are the jerks in this situation?
Yes, sometimes you are!
I could have lied. But I believe you guys deserve honesty, in spite of all the "liar" darts thrown at me in my comments.
The police have a non emergency number, it would be easy to call that, I have, in the past. A mask and gloves for the officer if he were worried. Ron in the house safe, a report written, yes, but safer than him trying to get in my himself.
But they don't give a [censored] about their own kids, one reason I banned them from my yard the toddler kept getting over unattended and I was worried he would get hurt. If they didn't care I MADE them care in my letter and specifically said him getting over was a big reason I was revoking permission.
it's the last days, the love of many has gone cold. look it up in the Bible.
Absolutely. I didn't want to get sued because one of the older kids left the gate open and the little one got in. I am not losing my house over that. It is on the record they do not have permission now.
Of COURSE you sent them a freaking letter.
So it’s definitely safe to say they steer clear of you then. Yet you are alaways expecting them to “help” you.
You can look it up, it was November/December 2011. I just basically said my insurance agent said I couldn't have kids in my yard so I was revoking permission. I said, if they lost a ball, ONE adult by himself could come get it but no kids.
The kids responded by ringing my doorbell all hours of the day and night demanding I get their ball, which I actually saw them THROW over on purpose. So I told them I would return the ball when I saw it and to leave me alone. Suddenly the ball stopped coming over the fence.
They were running my yard in huge packs late at night, screaming outside my windows at all hours, looking in my windows, talking shit about Ron in our yard, etc. The father next door has used up most of his free land building illegal additions on the house so the kids had no where to play. And I have a nice empty yard, they saw it as their personal playground.
That wasn't what did it it was the toddler kept coming over by himself. They really need a place on several acres so the kids can run.
If ron had been injured it would have been his fault. There was no reason for him to leave the house. Sounds more like he went into the kitchen to drink and got lost and confused and went out the front door. But you won't admit to that. Why I have no idea. There are many people who take care of loved ones with dementia it is not a crime.
Personally I would have never given access to my backyard to begin with. But that's just me. You did the right think taking the access away but it should never have been given in the first place.
Well the father came to me about 15 years ago with the little (then) boy in tow "Can my kid come by now and then to get his ball?" Seemed harmless and no problem for a couple of years. Then I noticed them throwing the ball over on purpose, then they would come and run and scream in my yard for 10-20 minutes, if I went out "Oh, we were just leaving" got worse from there.
I am honestly not sure what happened with Ron. He kept talking about the garage and the ramp but the front door was open, so I honestly don't know.
And you won’t ever know, because you won’t take him to the doctor.
Not now, I won't. Doctor's offices are hot beds for COVID.
You wouldn’t even have him seen before this
Also doctors offices are doing video and phone visits now so really NO EXCUSE to not set an appointment up. They can do it over the phone or video chat.
Wow, you hold on to grudges way too long and, yours aren't even serious issues. It's obvious you don't like humans, but you go overboard in your judgements of us for simple unimportant things that are just life. Sure no likes when kids are loud or being pests, but they're kids that's what they do. You made the best decision not to have any, but I wonder if you were a mother if you would have been more accepting and loving towards people in general.
Did you ever stop to think your neighbours are afraid that any interaction with you or Ron would be taken the wrong way and you would claim they did something wrong in your eyes? It happens when you're viewed as the mean lady in the neighbourhood.
BTW what's the update on your driveway chair is it chained to the tree. LOL
I didn't chain it, it is still there. It is bright red so if someone stole it they would have to put it in their backyard or take it out of the neighborhood.
@7:17, my aunt hasn't said that but she has implied it, said something about one of her neighbors "Didn't get little boys". I just want them to respect the property line. When I was a kid I was beaten for trespassing in a neighbor's yard. I never did it again. I was also beaten for running into the street, next door they were laughing at the kids when they did that. So clearly different parenting styles. I actually told the oldest boy Ron ended up in a wheelchair after being hit by a car and THEN they stopped the baby from running in the street. For a while.
I don't think either of us will ever understand the other.
I don't think ron was even outside. I can't see how he would have been able to get his wheelchair in the house without a wheelchair ramp. I think he opened the door and left it open. I also think his neurological are getting worse
We have a ramp between house and garage, he talked emphatically about how difficult it was to get back up the ramp. We don't have a ramp on the front of the house, in part because I believe it would make us a target.
Again I find it hard to believe that he was sober. Why would he leave the front door wide open? How did he get outside from the front door or the garage? And you have no idea if anyone came over and asked him if he needed help because ron is a liar and you cannot trust what a drunk person says. On the plus side you now know that your enabling him has created a person who refuses to do anything. That he can actually use his wheelchair on his own if he needs to.
I think Ron is lying to you, I don't believe he was outside.
He talked about going up and down the ramp. I conclude he was outside because the door was open. But he was very vague on what actually happened.
HAPPILY it did not happen today I found him in his bed, where I left him, when I got home.
Oh, so you concluded he was outside! No solid proof, just your active imagination, and another way to disparage your neighbours. You say Ron is able to carry on a conversation, so why would he be vague? Just ask him were you outside or not!
He said he wanted fresh air so he opened the front door. He can't go into the yard from the front door because there is no ramp. Now, if he went out from the garage he would have to open the door from the house to the garage and go down the ramp. Now, he's in the garage and would have to open the garage door. If it was the automatic door did he have the remote or is the switch low enough for him to reach sitting in his wheelchair? OK, now the door is open he went out to the driveway, the driveway is slopped why didn't he roll into the street, how did he get back up the driveway if he did roll down? I don't believe he's strong enough to do that. The opening for a garage door is large enough to find and get back into the garage. Back in the garage he shut the door, went up the ramp into the house and shut that door. Nope, I can't believe any of that happened, he was not outside! The front door was still opened because he still wanted air, or forgot to close it.
Your guess is as good as mine.
Odds are, knowing what I do, he opened the front door, saw no ramp, went to garage, rolled around in garage with door down, came back to ramp (he did talk about the difficulty of getting up the ramp), and into house.
Good news: he did not do it today, whatever it is he did. I am glad that very nosy and invasive man who kept trespassing in our yard had moved away already, or he would have been in the house.
Ha, I love a good mystery. I think I'm right in my assumption above. So, I'm glad he wasn't outside especially in his underwear. LOL
That means your neighbor never saw him lol
Great analysis Anonymous 7:12 and your conclusion that he was never outside is spot on.
Let's hope he wasn't outside! I don't think the world is ready for that.
And let's take a moment to appreciate he was in his underwear if anyone saw him at least he wasn't illegal.
I do have to say it was super easy getting Torbie back in the house with her carrier so that may have informed his decision to open the door.
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